Avoidance Behavior: Examples, Impacts, & How to Overcome

What Is Avoidance Behavior?

Avoidance behaviors are any actions people use to escape or distract themselves from distressing thoughts, feelings, and situations. These can look like avoiding new job opportunities, career advancements, relationships, social situations, recreational activities, and family get-togethers. People use avoidance as a coping mechanism for pain, trauma, and other mental health issues.

It can be understandable to avoid dangerous situations or avoid peer pressure, but avoidance is more than just not wanting to feel uncomfortable. Avoiding something can make you feel in control. However, depending on what you are avoiding, avoidance doesn’t always signify true control. Long-term, these behaviors can exacerbate other issues going on in your life.

Examples of Avoidance Behavior

Avoidance behaviors can show up in many forms, depending on the person and the situation. Some people might turn to substance misuse, daydreaming, or suppressing their feelings to avoid facing a difficult situation or emotion. While these behaviors might offer short-term relief, they often make the problem worse over time by preventing progress toward a solution.

Here are some examples of commonly used avoidance behaviors:

• Using drugs or alcohol to blunt emotions
• Engaging in wishful thinking or maladaptive daydreaming
• Suppressing emotions instead of processing them
• Isolating from others
• Avoiding eye contact
• Making excuses to avoid social gatherings or leaving early
• Procrastinating on important tasks
• Canceling plans at the last minute
• Ignoring calls or messages
• Steering clear of certain places or situations
• Staying overly busy to avoid dealing with emotions or issues.
• Distracting oneself with screens (e.g., binge-watching TV, excessive gaming, or scrolling on social media)
• Binge eating or undereating
• Obsessive cleaning or organizing
• Avoiding conflict
• Avoiding new experiences or changes

Types of Avoidant Behaviors

You could avoid an endless list of situations, feelings, thoughts, or people. However, avoidance behaviors generally fall into a few categories that encompass different aspects of life.

Here are the five types of avoidance behaviors:

1. Situational Avoidance

Situational avoidance refers to avoiding specific situations or putting yourself at risk of being in the situation. This behavior could involve one location, person, or scenario that makes you uncomfortable, whether because of past experiences or the fear of future problems. For instance, you may avoid the dentist if you have dentophobia or the coffee shop your ex frequents.

2. Cognitive Avoidance

Cognitive avoidance means avoiding specific thoughts. This type of avoidance can be intentional or unintentional, as your brain may take over and move avoidance to the unconscious. In these cases, your mind may feel blank or full of fantasies and positive thoughts that distract from unwanted thoughts.

3. Protective Avoidance

During protective avoidance, you go out of your way to engage in behaviors that offer the perception of safety. This type of avoidance is based on the idea that modifying your environment means you have nothing to worry about. These behaviors could be linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and involve checking, cleaning, or using “good luck” charms.

4. Somatic Avoidance

Stress and anxiety produce a physical response in your body. Somatic avoidance aims to limit those physical responses. Of course, no one wants to feel anxious, but this level of avoidance restricts you from doing any fun, exciting, or adventurous activities that may create the similar emotions. You may choose to avoid exercising, thrill rides, or watching scary movies.

5. Substitution Avoidance

Substitution avoidance means replacing uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or emotions with more “pleasurable” alternatives. For example, this process could involve using drugs or alcohol to cope with anxiety or becoming angry to overshadow sadness or worry.

Why Avoidance Behaviors Are Unhealthy

At first, avoidance feels like a solution—it provides immediate relief because you don’t have to face what’s making you uneasy. However, over time, this avoidance actually makes the distress worse. By not confronting the source of your discomfort, your brain starts to believe that the situation is truly threatening or unbearable. The next time you encounter something similar, your distress is even stronger, making it more difficult to cope and more likely that you’ll avoid it again.

This cycle can become a loop that’s hard to break. While avoiding feels safer in the moment, it reinforces your fear and distress in the long run. The more you avoid, the more your world shrinks—whether it’s avoiding conversations, tasks at work, social situations, or even important decisions. It can start to impact your daily life in significant ways.

Here are some examples of the impact avoidance behaviors could have on your life:¹

• Not addressing conflicts or expressing your feelings with a partner may cause ongoing resentment or misunderstandings, leading to emotional distance and frequent arguments.
• Avoiding financial responsibilities like paying credit card bills on time could lead to late fees, increased debt, and a lower credit score.
• If you consistently avoid social gatherings due to social anxiety, you might lose touch with friends or family, deepening feelings of loneliness.
• Avoiding making a decision about a major life change, such as moving to a new city for a job, could mean you miss out on better career opportunities or personal growth.
• If you avoid seeing the doctor out of fear, it may result in a minor health issue worsening, leading to more serious conditions or more expensive treatments down the line.
• Avoiding presentations or public speaking at work due to anxiety may cause you to miss out on promotions, important projects, or leadership opportunities.
• If you avoid driving on highways due to fear of traffic, it may cause you to take longer routes, leading to increased gas expenses, more time spent driving, and potentially being late for work or appointments.

Are You Using Avoidance Behaviors?

Recognizing avoidance behaviors starts with being really honest with yourself. It can be helpful to take a step back and look at how you tend to respond to certain situations or emotions, especially ones that cause you discomfort or stress. Do you find yourself avoiding certain people, places, or conversations? Or maybe you procrastinate tasks that make you feel overwhelmed? Start by identifying patterns in how you react to these triggers. Once you notice the ways you might be avoiding, you can begin to understand how it’s affecting your life and take steps to address it more directly.

Ask yourself the following questions if you think you may be engaging in avoidance behavior:

• Why am I avoiding this?
• How long do I plan to avoid?
• When was the last time I completed the behavior instead of avoiding it?
• How does my avoidance make me feel?
• How does my avoidance impact others?
• Whose idea is it for me to avoid this?

How to Overcome Avoidance Behavior

Overcoming avoidance behavior is a gradual process, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Avoidance can leave you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and paralyzed by anxiety or stress. However, by making small, intentional changes, you can break the cycle and improve your ability to cope with challenging situations.

Here are seven strategies and some worksheets for overcoming avoidance behaviors:

Acknowledge the Avoidance

The first step to overcoming avoidance behaviors is recognizing when they’re happening. This requires honesty and self-reflection. Take some time to notice the situations or feelings you consistently try to avoid, whether it’s certain tasks, social interactions, or uncomfortable emotions. Once you acknowledge these behaviors, you can begin to address them instead of allowing them to remain unconscious patterns that hold you back.

Practice Gradual Exposure

Avoidance often creates a cycle where the more you avoid something, the scarier and more overwhelming it becomes. To break this cycle, it’s helpful to start with gradual exposure. Begin by facing smaller, less intimidating versions of the situations or emotions you’ve been avoiding. Over time, you can build up to tackling more challenging aspects as your confidence grows.

Exposure therapy is a formal approach for breaking the avoidance cycle. It involves gradually and safely facing the situations or emotions that cause you distress with the help of a mental health professional. Rather than avoiding these triggers, exposure therapy allows you to experience the discomfort in a controlled way. With repetition, your brain begins to learn that these triggers are not as dangerous as they feel, making it easier to cope with them over time.

Free Hierarchy of Fears Worksheet

The hierarchy of fears provides a structured plan to gradually face and overcome one’s fears in manageable steps, reducing anxiety over time.

Download

Develop Alternative Coping Skills

Since avoidance is an unhealthy coping mechanism, it’s important to replace it with healthier coping skills for your anxiety. Finding alternative ways to cope when you feel the urge to avoid can help you manage difficult emotions without reinforcing the avoidance cycle. Examples of alternative coping strategies include practicing mindfulness to stay present, journaling about your anxiety to process your feelings, or using physical activity like going for a walk or exercising to release tension.²

Use Grounding Techniques

When you feel the urge to avoid, it’s often because the stress or fear feels overwhelming. Grounding techniques, like deep breathing, mindfulness, or focusing on your surroundings, can help bring you back to the present moment and reduce your distress. By staying present, you’re more likely to face the situation instead of falling into avoidance.

Set Realistic Goals

Setting achievable goals is crucial when working on overcoming avoidance. Start with small, realistic goals that you can confidently achieve. By doing this, you build momentum and a sense of accomplishment, which makes it easier to continue working on the areas that you tend to avoid. These small wins will add up over time, helping you break the habit of avoidance.

Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

Avoidance behaviors are often fueled by negative thinking patterns, such as “I can’t handle this” or “This will end badly.” These thoughts increase your anxiety and make it harder to confront what you’re avoiding. Start by questioning these thoughts. Are they based on evidence? Have you handled difficult situations before? Challenging negative self-talk helps reframe the situation in a more realistic way, making it easier to take action.

Cognitive Restructuring for Anxiety Worksheet

You can recognize unhealthy thought patterns that are causing you increased anxiety by practicing cognitive restructuring.

Download Free Worksheet

Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps

Often, avoidance happens because a task or situation feels overwhelming. Breaking it down into smaller, more manageable parts can reduce that sense of being overwhelmed. Focus on one small step at a time rather than the entire task. This makes the situation feel less intimidating and increases your chances of taking action instead of avoiding it altogether.

Have Someone Hold You Accountable

Having a trusted friend, family member, or therapist hold you accountable can be an incredibly powerful tool in overcoming avoidance. When someone checks in with you or encourages you to take action, it can motivate you to stay on track and face the things you’ve been avoiding. Accountability can help you stay focused, reduce procrastination, and build confidence in your ability to move through discomfort.

Reward Your Progress

Overcoming avoidance is a process that takes time and effort, so it’s important to recognize and reward yourself for the progress you make. Whether it’s facing a difficult conversation or completing a task you’ve been avoiding, take time to acknowledge your success. Rewarding yourself helps reinforce positive behaviors and motivates you to continue taking action.

Practice Self-Compassion

Overcoming avoidance isn’t easy, and it’s important to be kind to yourself throughout the process. Avoidance behaviors can feel frustrating, but beating yourself up won’t help. Practice self-compassion by recognizing that progress takes time and that it’s okay to move at your own pace. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend in the same situation.

Remember That Bad Experiences Can Help You Grow

Difficult situations or uncomfortable emotions can feel overwhelming, but they also offer valuable learning opportunities. Instead of avoiding them, try to view challenges as chances for growth. By facing these tough moments, you develop resilience, problem-solving skills, and a better understanding of yourself. Over time, confronting these experiences can lead to personal growth and a stronger sense of confidence in handling future difficulties.

When to Seek Professional Support

If you find that avoidance is significantly interfering with your daily life—whether it’s affecting your work, relationships, or personal well-being—it may be time to seek help. Additionally, if avoidance stems from underlying trauma, anxiety disorders, or other mental health conditions, such as PTSD or OCD, professional support can be crucial. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your avoidance and guide you through evidence-based strategies to overcome it.³

To find professional support, you can start by looking online therapist directory, which allows you to search for licensed therapists in your area or who offer teletherapy services. Online therapy platforms, such as BetterHelp or Online-Therapy.com, provide access to licensed professionals through virtual sessions, which can be more convenient if in-person therapy isn’t an option. Additionally, Cerebral is an app that offers therapy, coaching, or support groups specifically focused on issues like anxiety, trauma, or avoidance behaviors.

Are Avoidance Behaviors Ever Healthy?

In some situations, avoidance behaviors can actually serve a protective or temporary function. For example, if you’re in a harmful or abusive situation, avoiding conflict or stepping away can be a healthy way to protect yourself until you’re able to find a safe resolution. Similarly, when faced with overwhelming emotions or high levels of stress, short-term avoidance might give you the mental space you need to regroup and think more clearly. However, it’s important to recognize that while avoidance may help in the short term, it becomes unhealthy when it’s used as a long-term strategy.