Digital self-harm refers to online communication and activity that leads to, supports, or exacerbates non-suicidal–yet intentional–harm or impairment of an individual’s well-being, such as following online content that reinforces a negative self-perception or perpetuates self-harm ideology or behaviors.1 With the rise of social media, it is especially important to understand more about digital self-harm, why it occurs, and how to get help.
FOR IMMEDIATE HELP CALL: The Suicide Hotline: 988
What Is Digital Self-Harm?
Digital self-harm may involve sharing, sending, consuming, and/or posting harmful or critical content about oneself on social media that is self-harming in nature, including sharing ways to self-harm with others online. This can be in the form of posts, comments, likes, shares, messages, or other ways of using online platforms to express hurtful views about oneself.2
About 70% of youth use social media platforms (e.g. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, etc.) multiple times daily.3 They may be exposed to accounts, posts, or websites that include digital self-harm content, such as pro-ana websites and thinspo content. Since social media use is especially common for younger people, research around digital self-harm is most observed in that demographic.
Current Research on Digital Self-Harm
There are many ways in which social media and mental health are related, and research shows that social media may affect teens even more than other age groups. About 13-18% of youth engage in some type of self-harm, and 6% of American middle and high school students have explicitly engaged in digital self-harm behavior.2 Experiencing in person or cyberbullying can be a risk factor for digital self-harm; in fact, youth who have been cyber-bullied are “twelve times as likely to have cyber-bullied themselves compared to those who were not victims.” Relational challenges–which can be common when being bullied, as one tends to feel lonely and isolated– are also a risk factor for practicing digital self-harm.2
Additional risk factors for digital self-harm include:1,2,3,5
- Depression
- Substance use disorder
- Addictive personalities and tendencies (i.e., problematic social media use)
- Internet addiction
- Social media addiction
- History of risk-taking behaviors (stealing, aggression towards others, etc.)
- Self-destructive behaviors
- Engaging in traditional forms of self-harm (e.g. cutting, scratching, or burning of skin)
- Co-occurring eating disorders
- Attention-seeking behaviors
- Gender & sexual identity (men and LGBTQ+ youth are more likely to self-harm digitally)
- Being a racial minority
Research indicates that depression and self-harm are risk factors for suicide attempts. Given that digital self-harm is a form of self-harm, it must be taken seriously and addressed as quickly as possible to reduce safety risks.1,4 Gaining awareness is an essential first step towards taking action regarding this significant mental health concern.
Examples of Digital Self-Harm
Digital self-harm can be found in a variety of contexts online, including:
Posting Self-Harming Content on Social Media
Posting online content about oneself that is self-critical, reflects a desire or intent to self-harm, or shares information about self-harming behaviors is an example of digital self-harm.
This could include posting things, such as:
- “I’m ugly”
- “I’m a bad person”
- “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
It could also include passive suicidal ideation comments such as “everyone would be better off without me.” It can also involve making comments about what the person plans on doing to themselves or describing the self-harming behaviors they engage in, sometimes including images.3
Posting Specific Suicidal Ideation or Plans
Whether it be someone making concerning comments in passing about how they intend to commit suicide or explaining in detail how they plan on doing so, this is highly concerning and needs to be taken very seriously. Witnesses of such statements are encouraged to notify their local emergency services immediately if they observe any information that suggests someone is at imminent risk of harming themselves.4
Reading a Blog Post, Website, or Discussion About Self-Harm
Reading a blog post, online guide, website, or forum discussion regarding ways to hurt oneself physically—such as guides on losing weight fast and forums discussing ways to hide eating disorders—are examples of digital self-harm. Exposure to this can be active, like someone seeking out Instagram accounts and posts, or it can be more passive, like seeing this type of content on a friend’s Instagram story.
Viewing Images or Videos Showing Self-Harm Content
Looking at images or videos showing self-harm content, such as videos showing people how to engage in acts of bulimia and pictures showing weight loss progress, also constitute digital self-harm. Social media has made it easier to find content that promotes or encourages eating disorders, physical self-harm, or other ways of hurting oneself. These suggestions and tips negatively influence individuals to participate in self-harming behaviors that are destructive and unhealthy.2,3
People find content like this via:
- Online groups
- Discussions forums
- Blog posts
- Social media (like TikTok, Instagram, or Facebook)
- Receiving them from a peer
Why Do People Engage In Digital Self-Harm?
There are various reasons why someone may engage in self-harm in general, and the rise of social media has only facilitated the spread of triggering content. People who engage in digital self-harm could have difficulty coping with depression or hostile cognitions, such as low self-worth, shame, guilt, attachment trauma, and loneliness. They may self-harm to distract themselves from difficult emotions or “feel something,” to punish themselves, or evoke a response from someone else. Individuals may not have healthy coping mechanisms to deal with different types of stress, anxiety disorders, or depression, so they turn to self-harm as a form of release.1,4
Alternatively, the individual may think they are being funny by engaging in this behavior, mainly if they experience bullying from others, which may teach them that talking to themselves in a similar way is humorous. In addition, a person who is struggling with control issues in their life may engage in self-harm since controlling themselves in this way– even if it is detrimental to their health and well-being–is one of the few things they believe they do have control over.1,4
How to Recognize If a Loved One Is Digitally Self-Harming
Digital self-harm can come in many ways, so it is crucial for people to recognize its signs in themselves and their loved ones. These symptoms are often related to depression and low self-esteem. However, remember that just because someone shows these symptoms does not mean they are self-harming. Instead, observing these symptoms can raise enough concern to start a conversation with the person about it.5
Some signs that you should be on the lookout for include:6
- Depressed thoughts or mood
- Tearfulness
- Lack of motivation
- Low interest in previously enjoyed activities (e.g., anhedonia)
- Changes in self-esteem due to social media
- Negative body image
- Social withdrawal
- A decline in academic or work performance
- Changes in daily routines and patterns (i.e., changes in sleep and eating patterns)
- Substance use disorder
How to Prevent Digital Self-Harm
People at risk of developing self-harming tendencies, or those already engaging in digital self-harm, should be especially mindful of identifying their triggers and creating plans to prevent exposure. If your loved one is struggling with digital self-harm, it is essential to keep an eye out for any symptoms and, when they arise, gently inquire to see if they are willing to share more. Showing you care about the person will hopefully help deter digital self-harm behavior.5
Below are seven tips for preventing digital self-harm:
1. Identify Contributing Factors
To prevent digital self-harm, it is vital to figure out what leads each person to engage in those behaviors. For example, if you notice signs of digital self-harm in your teen, it might be helpful to figure out whether this is due to depression, underlying eating disorders, anxiety, or other factors—this is best done with the help of a mental health professional. Identifying the reasons can also help them normalize these feelings, understand these emotions are common and allow you to ask how you can support them or help them deal with these feelings.
2. Avoid Shaming
When trying to help someone struggling with digital self-harm, don’t blame or shame them or force them to talk to you–let them know you are there for them if they need you and that you are ready to listen and give support. This includes fostering a non-judgmental perspective to seeking help and encouraging them to see a mental health professional.
3. Pay Attention
While it can be expected for parents and adults to brush off teens and young adults as dramatic, it is crucial that they pay attention to the signs and symptoms of digital self-harm and associated conditions. There is a risk of imminent harm to the young person if they have expressed a clear intent and plan to harm themselves, so do not hesitate to take them to the nearest hospital or contact your local emergency services to transport them to the nearest hospital.
4. Have a Conversation About Digital Self-Harm
Learning about the signs of digital self-harm and opening up this conversation with your loved one in a respectful and supportive way can give the youth a positive outlet for expressing their emotions and learning that there are other ways to cope.
By keeping the conversation open-ended, non-judgmental, and supportive, your loved one will hopefully feel comfortable talking about their worries without being dismissed or ridiculed for thinking this way. Having this conversation can also be helpful in terms of helping them understand what to look out for as warning signs on social media and when to speak with a trusted adult or professional about their concerns.5
5. Set Appropriate Internet Limits for Yourself or Your Child
Monitor your–and your child’s–internet use to identify when there are potential instances of misuse or overuse. In the case of parents, setting limits in terms of how much time their child spends on the internet can help them interact with positive offline influences, which can mitigate the impact of potential online negative sources. Encourage them to spend more time with family and friends in person within their comfortable parameters, and incorporate recreation and leisure activities that they enjoy or want to try. This will possibly help them learn that they don’t need to be on social media all the time but instead can limit themselves to short periods while building their identity, self-worth, and enjoyment outside the internet.2,5 Adults also engage in digital self-harm, so it is important that you monitor and limit yourself accordingly as well.
6. Join Online Support Groups That Promote Mental Health & Wellness
To help combat the adverse effects of digital self-harm, it can be important for youth to participate in online communities that encourage growth and development, which can contribute positively to the mental health conversation.
Learning to connect with others who provide emotional support, are willing to notify emergency services when they suspect a crisis, and do not promote or encourage self-harming language or behaviors can help foster a healthy online community. Being part of moderated groups or online group therapy where digital self-harming behaviors or content promoting them are screened for and removed increases a sense of security and safety on online platforms. This is especially important for at-risk groups, including youth who are being marginalized due to their identity, such as racial, ethnic, and LGBTQ+ minorities.3
7. Express That You Care About Them
Feeling socially and emotionally connected–on and offline–can help minimize the risks of digital self-harm on an individual’s well-being and mental health. Knowing that they have a soft place to land may help them feel that they are not alone and worthy of love and support; this may steer them towards treating themselves with kindness and respect. Having strong relationships can be a protective factor against engaging in digital self-harm. Try to encourage people from a young age to identify friends and adults they can go to for support to build up their social support network.3
This support can come from any important person in a young person’s life, such as:
- Parents
- Siblings
- Family members
- Friends
- Authority figures they admire
- Mentors
How to Talk About Digital Self-Harm With Your Teen
In talking with your child about digital self-harm, try to adopt a curious, open, and flexible mindset in the conversation. If you have noticed any concerning information online, or if your child indicates they have posted negative things about themselves, try to respectfully ask them about what led them to do so, express gratitude for their honesty and willingness to share, offer support, and discuss the possibility of working with a mental health professional for additional help.5
Encourage them to keep the lines of communication open and reiterate that you want to help them; this can help reduce the risk of feelings of embarrassment and shame they may feel. It also helps them realize that they don’t have to fear being restricted from accessing social media if they speak up; instead, having open conversations about social media can help them learn the risks and enable them to approach online platforms with more caution, greater awareness, and greater ability to cope with complicated feelings.5
Treatment Options to Combat Digital Self-Harm
There are many treatment options available for people struggling with digital self-harm. Some of these options include formal therapeutic and/or professional intervention, while others elaborate on ways to take care of yourself or your loved one.
Treatment options to combat digital self-harm include:7
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT, which is commonly used to treat anxiety and depression, helps you see the connection between changing your thoughts (e.g. using positive reframes and self-compassion to challenge self-critical thoughts) and feeling better about yourself, which may help stop the self-harming behavior and allow you to choose more healthy behaviors instead (e.g. doing a hobby, spending time with a family member, hanging out with a friend, etc.).
- Dialectal Behaviour Therapy (DBT): DBT is typically used to assist people with personality disorders, self-harming, and suicidal behavior. This modality helps people learn to accept their complicated feelings, build relationships, manage and regulate complex emotions, and develop practical coping skills, individually and across social contexts.
- Self-Care: Taking care of yourself can allow you to handle depression, anxiety, and stress more effectively, which may reduce unhealthy coping mechanisms. There are many powerful physical and mental health benefits of exercising, eating nutritious meals, staying hydrated, remaining socially connected, and getting enough sleep.
- Relaxation and mindfulness techniques: There are many mindfulness activities for teens and young people to adopt across social settings Breathwork, meditation, journaling for mental health, learning how to practice gratitude, mindfulness-based stress reduction, doing yoga, walking meditation, and other related activities can help people ground themselves, stay in the present, and deal with complex emotions in a healthy way, which can act as a deterrent to digital self-harm.
How a Therapist Can Help With Digital Self-Harm
A therapist who is trained in CBT, DBT, mindfulness, and similar modalities can teach and help you maintain healthy coping mechanisms, self-care, and resiliency skills. They can also help you compare DBT vs. CBT, provide more information, and ultimately choose the best method for you. For example, some therapists combine approaches, as is the case with mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, which might differ from other forms of CBT.
Therapists can provide support as you learn how to manage digital self-harm behaviors. In therapy, you can safely explore the reasons that have led you to engage in digital self-harm in the first place so that you can properly heal and find better ways to cope. It is never too late to find a therapist as a young adult; you can do so by looking through an online therapist directory.
Final Thoughts
In this increasingly digital world, gaining a better understanding of digital self-harm, its signs, and how to address it is paramount. Digital self-harm needs to be treated as seriously as more traditional forms of self-harm, particularly given the rise of social media and the potential connection between suicidal behavior and self-harming tendencies. If you are engaging in digital self-harm or know someone who is, please know that help and support are available.
Digital Self-Harm Infographics
