Discovering Your Glimmers: Finding Moments of Joy

What Are Glimmers?

The term “glimmer” was coined by psychotherapist Deb Dana to make the complex polyvagal theory more accessible.³ Glimmers refer to the moments of positivity we experience that can combat difficult situations or negative emotions. Glimmers can be as simple as seeing a rainbow or feeling accomplished. These small moments of positivity are healthy coping mechanisms that can give us hope.

Examples of Glimmers

While many people experience similar moments of awe or wonder when faced with natural beauty or kind acts, the specific things that bring us joy or inspiration are often unique and subjective. That’s because each of us has our own set of experiences, preferences, and values that shape our perception of the world around us.

Here are a few examples of glimmers:

• The smell of cut grass
• Spotting a rainbow
• A spectacular sunrise
• Spending time in nature
• Seeing your grandchild for the first time
• A random act of kindness
• The companionship of your pet
• Spirituality or religion
• Doing something creative
• Discovering a new hobby
• Getting together with friends
• Feeling a sense of connection with others
• Dancing to your favorite song

Understanding Triggers & Glimmers

A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger. Whether it’s the sound of a siren, seeing a certain symbol, or smelling a particular food, our minds can quickly associate these cues with either negative or positive emotions. Triggers are cues that signal to our brain that we are in danger, whereas glimmers are cues that signal safety and an allowance to unwind.

What Happens When You’re Triggered?

When a person feels triggered, their amygdala has activated the fight-or-flight response. This trigger can cause the person to experience many emotions, such as fear, anxiety, anger, or sadness. Their body responds to these emotions by releasing adrenaline and cortisol, which can manifest physically as shaking, sweating, or racing heart.

In some cases, trauma triggers can lead to intense feelings of anxiety, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). When somebody experiences a trigger, it typically means that they have encountered a situation or stimulus that elicits an intense emotional response or set of emotions. For example, someone who has experienced abuse or trauma might be triggered by a smell, sound, or a particular situation that reminds them of their abuse or trauma.

What Happens When You Feel a Glimmer?

While glimmers are brief, they are powerful experiences of heightened mental and emotional awareness that leave a lasting impact on us. Somebody experiencing glimmers may report feeling a sudden burst of inspiration, clarity, motivation, or even epiphany that creates a shift in their perspective or way of thinking. These experiences can profoundly affect their lives, inspiring creativity, increased productivity, meaningful relationships, and greater self-awareness.

How Glimmers Work

Dr. Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory can help explain the science behind glimmers. The theory suggests that the body’s nervous system is conducive to shaping a person’s emotional and behavioral responses to their environment. Dr. Porges notes this is regulated through the vagus nerve, which helps control a person’s heartbeat rate.²

Just like our bodies fight off diseases, the body’s nervous system has the capacity to fight off negative emotions by engaging the ventral vagus. Glimmers represent brief moments of engagement with the ventral vagus and indicate the body’s ability to regulate its mental state.

How to Identify Your Glimmers

By actively seeking out our glimmers, we can unlock our full potential and inspire others along the way. But identifying glimmers isn’t always easy. Many people struggle to identify what ignites that spark within them.

You can identify your glimmers by:

1. Reflecting on Who Inspires Glimmers

Take a moment to reflect on who inspires glimmers in your life and how. Is it a particular person who motivates you to pursue your passions? Is it a favorite book or film that transported you to a new world and inspired you to think outside the box? Is it a transformative event experience that changed your perspective on life? You’ll want to identify a person, place, or thing that makes you feel safe, welcome, and happy.

2. Reflecting on What Actions Inspire Glimmers

Think about what activities or actions make you feel satisfied, happy, and nourished. It could be as simple as organizing your closet or as difficult as solving a complex problem. Whatever the activity, make a note of how you feel during and after the task.

3. Reflecting on What Motivates You

What motivates you to take action? Maybe it’s the sense of accomplishment or the knowledge that you’re making progress in a particular area. Pay attention to the aspects of the task that spark inspiration and motivation.

4. Trying New Things

While it’s important to embrace your existing glimmers, don’t be afraid to try new hobbies, activities, or experiences. This can help you discover new passions and interests. Be open to new experiences and try things that you might not have thought you would enjoy before. Sometimes, we may not even know what our glimmers are until we stumble upon them.

5. Paying Attention to What Excites You

Take note of the activities or hobbies that make you feel energized and excited. Ask yourself, “What am I doing when I feel most engaged and alive?” Our emotions can be great indicators of our glimmers. If you feel excited, passionate, or energized about something, that may be a sign that it is a glimmer for you. Think about times when you felt particularly happy or fulfilled. What was happening during those moments?

6. Looking for Patterns

If you notice that certain activities or experiences consistently bring you joy and happiness, that may be a sign that they are a glimmer for you. Do these patterns tend to occur in particular settings or with certain people? Understanding these patterns can help you recreate those situations in the future to experience more glimmers.

Healing Triggers & Embracing Glimmers

The ultimate goal is to become less reactive to triggers and learn to manage them effectively. This requires a significant shift in mindset from one of fear and avoidance to one of acceptance and even gratitude. In essence, you are taking steps to “rewire” your brain. Triggers are opportunities for growth and healing. This may require some hard work and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone, but the rewards are well worth it.

It takes time and effort to peel back the layers and uncover what specific situations or circumstances can trigger feelings of anxiety, fear, or even anger. However, once those triggers have been identified, the next challenge is figuring out how to move past them and even embrace them. It can be an essential step in personal growth and healing.

Some ways you can embrace your glimmers include:

• Curating your social media: Using glimmers in social media is a great way to showcase your accomplishments without coming across as boastful. Unfollow social media accounts that are triggering for you.
• Making time for your glimmers: Schedule time in your calendar to work on your passions or hobbies. This can help you stay motivated and focused on the things you love, even when life gets busy.
• Finding joy in the ordinary: Sometimes, the most mundane, everyday tasks can be the most fulfilling. Take time to appreciate the simplicity of life and find joy in the ordinary, everyday moments.
• Practicing gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful tool for cultivating joy daily. Take time each day to practice gratitude by reflecting on what you’re grateful for and appreciate the blessings in your life, no matter how big or small.
• Practicing mindfulness: Mindfulness allows you to pause and become fully present in the moment. This means paying attention to your senses and being aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
• Keeping a journal: Journaling is a great way to reflect on your day and record the things that made you happy or brought you joy. By focusing on the positive, you’ll be able to cultivate a more positive mindset and start to notice the glimmers in your life.
• Surrounding yourself with positive people: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who encourage and support your passions and interests. This can help you stay motivated and confident as you pursue your glimmers.
• Celebrating your progress: Recognize the small victories and milestones along the way. This can help you stay motivated and build momentum as you work towards your goals.

When to Seek Professional Help

Therapy can help people who are struggling with triggers and finding it hard to identify any positivity in their life. There are therapeutic approaches that may be beneficial for those suffering from depression, anxiety, or other conditions that may affect their ability to see the good in life. These may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or mindfulness-based therapy. There are online therapy options available to find support or you can check out an online therapy directory.

It is not uncommon for people to experience triggers that can cause emotional distress, anxiety, or depression. Identifying these triggers can be challenging. It can be difficult to find any glimmer of hope leading to feelings of hopelessness and a decreased sense of well-being. Seeking therapy can be an excellent first step on the path to healing and thriving.

In My Experience

In my practice, I’ve seen how living in a fast-paced world can send us into robot mode. So often, we forget to cherish small yet valuable moments of joy that bring a spark of happiness within us. It’s important to find these “glimmers” and make the effort to acknowledge and appreciate them more often.

Engaging in activities that bring us joy, spending time with loved ones or nature, or simply taking a moment to appreciate the little things in life can all contribute to increasing our overall happiness. I’ve seen firsthand how my clients are able to take some simple steps that motivate them to find moments of joy in their lives by discovering their glimmers. Therapy can be a fast track to finding those glimmers that are accessible to all of us.