10 Tips for How to Make Sober Friends

Why Making Sober Friends Is Important

Drinking is pervasive in society, and recent research shows that approximately 21% of people aged 12 and older reported binge drinking in the past month.¹ Approximately 5.7% of people in the U.S. regularly engage in heavy drinking, which means consuming more than 15 drinks a week for men and 8 drinks a week for women.²

Finding sober friends can be challenging. However, if you’d like to drink less alcohol or quit altogether, finding a group of sober or even sober curious friends is important. If you’re trying to overcome alcohol use disorder, you may need to stop spending time with people drinking alcohol- at least as often as possible.

Below are reasons why finding sober friends is important:

• May increase the chances of sustained recovery: Who you spend time with can influence your behavior. Having sober friends may also encourage you to maintain your own sobriety efforts.
• Provides crucial social support: Sober friends can provide you with emotional support when you’re struggling with your recovery or experiencing cravings.
• Helps you learn how to have fun without alcohol: It’s important to learn how to have a good time without drinking, and spending time with sober friends can cultivate that joy.
• Accountability: Sober friends can help you stay accountable toward maintaining your sobriety goals.

How to Find Sober Friends: 10 Tips

Research shows that 34% of Americans desired to decrease their alcohol use in 2023. More and more people are interested in non-alcoholic drinks and non-alcoholic activities, and the sober curious movement has become sensationalized in the past few years.³ With that, it’s possible to find sober friends anywhere, but you may need to be persistent in your search.

Below are 10 tips for finding sober friends:

1. Join a Support Group

Support groups are one of the best ways to meet sober people. Research shows that Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has over 2 million members meeting in more than 18,000 groups worldwide.⁴ Other support groups include SMART Recovery, Women for Sobriety, LifeRing, and Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS). Most groups host in-person and online meeting formats.

2. Join a Sport or Fitness Class

There are numerous mental health benefits of exercise, and making this part of your routine more social can make it more enjoyable overall. Many communities host sober intramural sports to promote sober environments. For example, the Phoenix is a national sober active community where the cost of membership is simply having 48 hours of sobriety.

3. Join a Sober Community Online

Social media can be a free and invaluable asset for people looking to connect with other like-minded sober friends. Some people find it’s also easier to interact with people online before meeting in real life. For example, r/stopdrinking and r/redditorsinrecovery are two popular subreddits dedicated to sober support. Facebook also has several private groups for sober individuals.

4. Volunteer at Local Community Centers

Volunteering can be an excellent way to give back to your community and boost your own mood. Research shows that regular volunteering is associated with lower rates of depression and better relationships, all of which can mitigate the risk of relapse.⁵ You may be able to connect with sober friends volunteering at a local soup kitchen, animal shelter, or through a religious organization.

5. Attend Alcohol-Free Events

Many communities host various alcohol-free events where people mingle without drinking. These tend to be more popular in metropolitan areas, but the rise of sober curiosity and the lowered rates of drinking may make these types of events more popular even in less-populated areas. If you can’t find an event near you, consider hosting your own.

6. Attend a Sober Retreat

Sober retreats are multi-day restorative events intended to help you achieve more balance and peace. These retreats often take place in more serene, remote locations, and they are privately run. You can expect to attend workshops, groups, and educational classes throughout your retreat. You’ll also likely have time to connect with other sober attendees.

7. Take a Sober Vacation

The idea of travel can feel daunting in sobriety, but there are entire companies dedicated to helping sober people enjoy vacations without drinking. For example, Sober Vacations International and Choose Life Sober Adventures both host sober trips with roommate matching in locations worldwide. These trips can be a wonderful way to meet new sober friends.

8. Consider a Sober Living Environment

Some people struggle to maintain their sobriety when living on their own or with roommates who continue to drink. Sober living homes are structured facilities that provide safe housing for people recovering from substance use disorders. They are often recommended after completing drug rehab or another form of addiction-based treatment.

9. Try a Sober Social App

There are numerous sober social apps available.  For example, Sober Grid is a social networking app with a news feed where people can share updates and photos. Recover Box allows people to track their daily life activities. SoberTool is a confidential discussion forum for people to discuss their recovery needs. Sober is a swiping app for people interested in sober dating.

10. Try a New Hobby or Class

Now may be a good time to pursue an activity that’s always piqued your interest. Keep in mind that it may not matter if the people involved in the hobby or class are sober. As long as the primary motive is to enjoy something other than drinking, you’ll be able to build relationships engaging in a shared interest.

Can Therapy Help You Find Sober Friends?

Therapy has many benefits, and it may help you find sober friends by unpacking the barriers potentially impacting your ability to connect with others. For example, issues like depression, social anxiety, or low self-esteem may affect your relationships, and therapy can help you improve those issues. Therapy can also provide tremendous support as you navigate the ups and downs of sobriety.

Look for a therapist who has experience treating alcoholism, especially if you’re in the early stages of sobriety. You may be more vulnerable to a relapse, and a therapist can help provide you with support, coping tools, and guidance during this vulnerable time. You can look for a therapist using our online therapist directory or by looking directly for providers in-network with your health insurance.