Emotional stability is the ability to manage emotions effectively and stay calm under pressure. Often considered the opposite of neuroticism, emotional stability is not a fixed personality trait. It is widely accepted that people can develop emotion regulation skills and improve emotional intelligence with practice.1 Strengthening emotional stability can lead to better mental health, stronger relationships, and improved decision-making.
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What Is Emotional Stability?
Emotional stability refers to a person’s ability to manage and express their emotions healthily and appropriately, even when presented with stressful situations. Emotional stability, emotional intelligence, and emotion regulation are often used interchangeably. However, emotional stability is generally defined in the context of one of the big five personality traits – neuroticism.
Neuroticism refers to an individual’s temperamental tendency to experience intense and frequent negative emotions when exposed to stress.2 The relationship between emotional stability and personality extends beyond the association with neuroticism. Research shows that people who are more open, conscientious, and extroverted, and less neurotic, tend to use healthier emotion regulation strategies.3
Signs of Emotional Instability
Emotional instability involves frequent, intense mood swings that may seem out of proportion to the situation.One review defined affective instability as “rapid oscillations of intense affect, with difficulty in regulating these oscillations or their behavioral consequences.”4
Common signs someone is experiencing emotional instability include:
- Unexpected reactions: reacting to events in ways that seem incongruent or disproportionate to the event.
- Rapid change in affect (mood): you may appear happy one moment, sad the next, and it may feel like your mood -or what health professionals call your affect – is rapidly shifting.
- Difficulty calming down after a stressful event: you may struggle to regulate your emotions after upsetting events.
- Acting impulsively during periods of intense emotion.
The Importance of Emotional Stability
Emotional stability is important in various aspects of life, including relationships, work, and personal growth. Emotion regulation skills support us in navigating the ups and downs of life. Emotion dysregulation is known to be associated with poorer mental health outcomes.5
Some benefits of being emotionally stable include:
Feeling Confident
Emotional stability enables you to maintain composure in the face of challenges, ensuring you feel confident in a range of situations.
Having a Consistent Mood
Emotional stability has positive impacts of mood and overall wellbeing.
Increased Ability to Communicate
Regulating your emotions helps you make thoughtful decisions instead of reacting impulsively.
Effective Decision Making
When you are able to regulate your emotions, you are better able to make effective decisions, rather than responding from a place of reactivity.
6 Habits of Emotionally Stable People
When we think about emotionally stable people, what we are really talking about is a person who has good emotion regulation skills. Our goal is not to get rid of or minimize emotions. Rather, it is to be able to regulate emotions so they are tolerable. When we are able to regulate our emotions, we are more able to make effective decisions and take appropriate actions.
The 6 habits of people who are emotionally stable or have good emotion regulation skills include:
1. Regular Self-Reflection
People who are emotionally stable or have high emotional intelligence tend to engage in self-reflection regularly. Self-reflection means taking time to think about your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It can improve self-awareness and help you relate better to others.
2. Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, and it’s one of the core skills in DBT. Practicing mindfulness helps you stay connected with present-moment experiences and emotions. You can use a range of mindfulness techniques, such as observe or describing to help increase mood and regulate emotions.
3. Effective Stress Management
One of the key aspects of emotional stability is how a person manages stress. A key component of emotional stability includes our ability to regulate emotions in the context of stressful or anxiety-provoking situations.
4. Maintaining Physical Health
Physical health, including exercise and sleep, contributes to emotional stability. There is a connection between exercise and mental health. Regular exercise can have both a direct and indirect impact by positively affecting related factors such as sleep.
5. Setting Healthy Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries is fundamental to maintaining well-being. Setting healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life helps preserve emotional well-being in a range of ways, including limiting stress.
6. Regular Sleep
Sleep is fundamental to your physical well-being and can have a significant impact on your ability to regulate your emotions. Getting a good night’s sleep can positively impact your ability to cope with stressors and better manage your emotions.
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How to Develop Emotional Stability
If you want to increase emotional stability and improve your emotion regulation skills, try incorporating the aforementioned habits into daily life.
Expressing Feelings Worksheet
This worksheet aims to help you think through barriers and benefits to talking about your feelings, help you identify how you’re feeling, and show you ways to practice talking about your feelings.
Additional tips to develop emotional stability include:
- Allow yourself to feel: It is important not to avoid emotion. Emotion doesn’t suddenly disappear if you ignore it. Letting yourself feel emotions as they happen prevents them from building up over time.
- Communicate your feelings: When we communicate our feelings and experiences with important people in our lives, not only does it allow us to access support, but it also ensures that we don’t build resentment in our relationships
- Identify a range of emotion regulation strategies you can use: It is inevitable that you will experience difficult events in your life. Learning emotion regulation skills such as breathing and observing helps you to regulate big emotions as they arise.
Treatment Options for Improving Emotional Stability
Therapy can be beneficial in developing emotional stability, especially for those individuals struggling with emotional regulation.
Treatment options for improving emotional stability include:
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder (BPD), but it has been adapted to treat a range of mental health conditions. DBT usually incorporates individual therapy, group therapy, and phone training.
- Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT): MBCT was created to prevent relapse in individuals with mood disorders, and support better understanding and management of emotions and thoughts.
- Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT): CBT is an effective treatment approach for a range of mental and emotional health issues, including depression and anxiety. CBT focuses on improving emotion regulation by challenging and changing cognitive distortions (such as unhelpful thoughts and beliefs) and their associated behaviors.
Where to Find Professional Help
To build emotion regulation skills and become more emotionally stable, consider working with a licensed therapist. You can find a therapist by talking to your primary care physician, using an online therapist directory, or exploring online therapy platforms, which offer flexible and accessible options for mental health support.
Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, and others connect individuals with licensed therapists through video, phone, or chat-based sessions. These services can be especially helpful if you have a busy schedule, live in a remote area, or prefer the convenience of attending therapy from home.
ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
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Salazar Kämpf, M., Adam, L., Rohr, M. K., Exner, C., & Wieck, C. (2023). A meta-analysis of the relationship between emotion regulation and social affect and cognition. Clinical Psychological Science, 11(6), 1159-1189. https://doi.org/10.1177/21677026221149953
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Carver, C. S., & Connor-Smith, J. (2010). Personality and coping. Annual Review of Psychology, 61(1), 679-704. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100352
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Broome, M., Eyden, J., He, Z., Marwaha, S., Scott, J., Singh, S. P., & Wolke, D. (2014). How is affective instability defined and measured? A systematic review. Psychological Medicine, 44(9), 1793-1808. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291713002407
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Kraiss, J. T., ten Klooster, P. M., Moskowitz, J. T., & Bohlmeijer, E. T. (2020). The relationship between emotion regulation and well-being in patients with mental disorders: A meta-analysis. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 102, 152189. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.comppsych.2020.152189
We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.
Author: No Change
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Primary Changes: Edited for readability and clarity. Added How to Express Feelings worksheets.
Author: Katie Stirling, PsyD
Reviewer: Meera Patel, DO
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