Why Do I Feel Guilty After Drinking?: Hangover Guilt Explained

Why do People Feel Guilty After Drinking?

People can feel guilty after drinking for many reasons, and some are not obvious. People feel guilty at times because they told themselves they wouldn’t and fell into peer pressure. They may also feel guilt because of an action they did or something they said while drinking. Sometimes, people use alcohol in social situations to help their social anxiety, and they can feel guilty and embarrassed when they remember what they did. People can say some mean or inappropriate things when they are drinking, which can complicate friendships and relationships.

Causes of Guilt After Drinking

There are many possible reasons why someone might have guilt or shame after drinking.

Reasons that someone might feel guilt after drinking include:

You Feel a Loss of Control

One of the effects of alcohol is lowering inhibitions. When they lose control and self-awareness, and don’t assess risks, this can really create a lot of problems. The loss of control and leave you and others in harmful or embarrassing situations. That loss of control can cause reckless behaviors, such as driving drunk, taking dangerous risks, harming people, spending excessively, gambling, using drugs, getting into fights, being taken advantage of, or promiscuity.

You Cause People to Worry About You

Drinking excessively can lead to decisions that are worrisome, such as driving or engaging in intimate behavior with a stranger. These behaviors can be concerning to friends and family and you may feel guilt for feeling like you are burdening them.

Consequences of Drinking are Compiling

There are so many consequences of drinking that are all linked to how you behave and speak while you drink. You may also drink to the point of becoming sick, passing out, getting alcohol poisoning, and needing to go to the hospital. Drinking can also cause permanent organ damage from drinking. This is also very scary and traumatizing for the individual drinking and can leave them feeling very guilty for their actions.

Broken Promises

They may have promised themself or others that they would not drink, or that they would limit their drinking, so if they didn’t follow through on their promises, they may feel guilt. Broken promises are often a sign that alcohol use is becoming a problem.

Feelings of Alcohol Being a Depressant

If you are feeling even sad after drinking, it’s important to know that alcohol can act as a depressant. Alcohol may make you feel good at the moment, but it also inhibits activity in parts of the brain related to memory, emotional processing, and motor skills. This can be a bad combination, both mentally and physically.

Worry About Drinking Impacting Your Job

If you are drinking excessively, it may begin to impact your job. Your drinking may make it difficult for you to get to work on time, make your work performance worse, and lower the quality of your work as well. It may create a situation where you don’t have a sense of job security anymore.

Not Being Able to Stop Drinking

If you are drinking excessively and feel guilt after, you may be more likely to have a hard time stopping drinking. This happens sometimes when people use alcohol to cope with the guilt they have and end up exacerbating their guilt.

Avoiding Guilt After Drinking

There are ways to avoid guilt after drinking. Mindful drinking could help you from drinking too much. This involves being aware of the number of drinks you have, how often you are getting another drink, and what type of drink it is. If there are certain drinks that make you behave differently, avoiding those or limiting those is important. Another strategy is to have an accountability buddy to help keep you on track or alert the bartender. This can be a good way to stay accountable.

How to Cope With Guilt After Drinking

Dealing with guilt of any kind is challenging, and guilt after drinking is a sign that you need to make a change. The feeling of guilt is valid, so it is important to acknowledge your feeling, but remember that if you are feeling this way, it is an opportunity for you to make different choices next time.

Ways to cope can include talking to friends about your behavior and getting feedback. Acknowledging how you feel with others can be important in your ability to put things in perspective as we are often very critical of ourselves. Journaling and meditation are good ways to cope and help you stay grounded. Staying active and exercising can also help release some of the energy and help you feel better as it can reduce cortisol.¹

Signs of Alcohol Use Disorder or Alcohol Abuse

If someone is frequently feeling guilty or shameful after drinking, they may have an alcohol use disorder or may be dealing with alcohol abuse. It can be easy to avoid and minimize these things, but being aware of how you truly feel is important.

Signs of alcohol abuse include:

• Unable to cut back or quit, even if you want to
• High tolerance
• Drinks alone often/shows up to places drunk
• Socializing around alcohol only
• Lying about how much you are drinking
• Gets very sick often/blackouts
• Increase fights, risky behaviors, injuries, DUIs, etc.
• Not keeping up with appropriate hygiene or daily responsibilities
• Poor relationships
• Asking Google “how to sober up fast” or “am I an alcoholic?”
• Feeling physical withdrawal symptoms²

Treatment Options For Alcohol Abuse

There are many options for treatment for alcohol abuse. Therapy, group therapy, family therapy and support groups are all options. Intensive outpatient programs and inpatient drug rehab are also good options for some. Some treatment options for alcohol abuse include:

• Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for substance abuse: CBT for substance abuse can be helpful by teaching people to reframe their thoughts about drinking so their behavior doesn’t include having another beverage.
• Group therapy: Group therapy can help people learn from others about how they are practicing skills to treat and challenge their thoughts around alcohol.
• Family therapy: Family therapy can help all members of the family talk about how their loved one’s drinking impacts them and find ways to repair issues caused by drinking.
• Support groups: This can help people find community and general support around their drinking issues and let them know they are not alone.
• Intensive outpatient programs: This involves a combination of attending weekly therapy, group therapy sessions, and other structured activities and homework to help you manage your drinking.
• Inpatient rehab: This is another option where you go and stay in a rehab center for an extended amount of time to treat your alcohol dependence. This also involves individual therapy, group therapy, and other activities and programs.³

When to Seek Professional Help

If you are struggling with feelings of shame and guilt about drinking, it may be time to talk to a professional. You can search an online therapist directory or browse an online therapy platform to find a therapist and consider virtual therapy. These are good choices for finding a therapist who specializes in alcohol use, and they often will offer a free consultation to learn more about their approach and help you determine if they are a good fit. If you continue to struggle for months while in therapy, it may be time to see a psychiatrist and consider medication management. You can search and use an online psychiatrist as there are many good choices for finding alcohol use medication management.