Losing a Friend: 13 Ways to Cope

What Does Losing a Friend Feel Like?

Losing a friend is traumatic, and the idea of a life without this person can be daunting, confusing, and heartbreaking. The loss of a friend is not inclusive of death, and some people may cut ties with a friend due to betrayal, distance, differences of opinion, or various other reasons. Still, the brain interprets loss as emotional trauma, causing physical responses affecting memory, sleep, and cognitive function.¹ Research shows that trauma caused by losing a friend to death could endure for years.²

Grief exists on a continuum. There is no limit on how long grief lasts, and symptoms can ebb and flow with time. Some feelings may subside before returning during memorable events, such as special holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries. Everyone reacts differently to the loss of a friendship, but many individuals report shared experiences after losing a friend.

Below are symptoms of grief that may occur after losing a friend:

• Confusion: Those who have lost a friend may feel confused as their minds attempt to adjust to life without their loved ones. Others denying, overlooking, or invalidating these emotions may worsen the grieving process.
• Anger: Many people become angry after losing a friend and may feel cheated by their experience.
• Physical pains: Headaches, brain fog, fatigue, or digestive issues are common symptoms of trauma that may be experienced by those grieving a friend.
• Guilt: Some people may feel guilty, regretful, or ashamed about past misunderstandings when mourning a friendship. They may blame themselves for the lack of closure they feel.
• Sadness: Becoming upset, lonely, or depressed after the death of a friend is a normal part of the grieving process.
• Shock: Individuals may feel blindsided by the end of a friendship. Unexpected loss may leave them numb or in disbelief.
• Denial: Some may refuse to accept the reality of their situation by denying that the loss occurred.
• Acceptance: After grieving, individuals may achieve acceptance as they adjust to their new life and routine. Acceptance does not mean they no longer grieve the loss of their friend but decide to move forward and cope.

How to Cope With Losing a Friend: 13 Tips for Healing

Losing a friend to death or a failed friendship is a significant loss. Grief is indefinite and affects everyone in unique ways. Prioritizing self-care, revisiting positive memories, and leaning on your support network can help you navigate this challenging period.

Here are 13 ways to cope with the loss of a friend:

1. Accept Your Feelings

Friendships come and go throughout life, but finding a friend who becomes family does not happen every day. After losing a friend, allow yourself to grieve as you would for a family member. While some may not view the loss of friendship as equivalent to more accepted forms of grief, your experience is valid. Permitting yourself time and space to heal is essential.

 2. Focus on Self-Care

Self-care means tending to your physical and psychological wellness, an essential part of grieving and healing.³ Losing your friend can change your life, but taking care of yourself can help you cope with increased anxiety and depression.

Those grieving often neglect daily necessities like self-care. You cannot focus on coping with loss if you overlook your mental well-being. For example, if you are over or under-eating, ask loved ones to share meals with you throughout the day. You may regain the energy necessary to heal. If you struggle with insomnia or sleep disturbances, sleeping aids can help fix your nighttime routine.

3. Spend Time in Nature

Spending time outdoors allows you to reconnect with nature, reduce stress, and feel calm. When mourning a friend, set time aside to hike, walk, garden, or ride a bike. Simply getting outside to enjoy the healing benefits of nature can make a difference in how you feel.

4. Try a Meditation Routine

You may push aside your feelings after losing your best friend. Meditation allows you to focus on these thoughts and emotions without judgment. Quieting your mind means you can observe and accept your experience, permitting yourself grace as negative thoughts come and go.

5. Revisit Your Hobbies

Losing a friendship can deplete your desire to engage in hobbies you once enjoyed. However, finding joy during the healing process is crucial. If you love reading, bibliotherapy can help you process your grief and connect with other emotions through books. Reading also allows you a brief escape from your situation. Music therapy is another way to boost positive emotions and get you moving. Put on a song you connect with and redirect your thoughts to the lyrics, tune, and melody.

6. Spend Time With Others

Supportive loved ones can aid in healing as you mourn the sudden loss of a friend. Spending time with your social network allows you space to share your emotions, gain insight, and better process grief.

7. Try Volunteering

Research shows that volunteering increases mental and physical well-being. Giving back to others in your community may boost your motivation to engage in daily activities, adopt healthier coping skills, or seek social interaction.⁴ While grieving a lost friendship takes time, dedicating yourself to a cause you believe in may help as you process grief.

8. Do Something in Memory of Your Friend

Overcoming the loss of a friend to death, separation, or other factors does not mean you must forget the memories you shared. Consider starting a new tradition in their honor, such as a gathering of loved ones, an annual walk, or a special event. Creating a yearly memorial allows you to keep a part of them present in your life.

9. Plan for Triggers

Birthdays, holidays, or locations associated with your friendship could trigger sadness. Planning for such circumstances can help you manage these feelings. A therapist may show you healthy coping skills to deal with and overcome negative emotions as you encounter triggers.

10. Draw Comfort From Your Faith

Some studies suggest that people with spiritual beliefs resolve their grief faster after loss than those without.⁵ Spirituality comes in various forms and is unique to everyone. If you are comfortable, lean into your faith and beliefs during grief to draw comfort, solace, and closure as you mourn a friendship.

11. Find Creative Ways to Express Your Grief

Creativity allows you to tap into your innermost thoughts and express them tangibly. Painting, drawing, pottery, or photography are just a few forms of expression that may aid with grief. Permit yourself freedom and space for every emotion as you approach these activities.

12. Exercise

Exercise comes with many mental health benefits. Physical activity boosts endorphins, helping to improve sleep, alleviate symptoms of depression, and provide a sense of accomplishment.  You may also experience renewed feelings of freedom as you release negative emotions.⁶

13. Attend a Grief Support Group

Losing your best friend can be an isolating experience, especially if others do not understand how you feel. Attending a grief support group allows you to gain crucial support from members who share similar experiences. You can also receive and offer helpful advice to gain insight into the healing process.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you struggle to cope with losing a friend, you may be experiencing prolonged grief disorder. Intense, persistent grief can interfere with work, home, or social life. Grief counseling can help you cope with these feelings and address the underlying issues fueling them. There is no easy way to ‘get over’ the loss or death of a friend, but therapy can teach you healthy tools to process, cope, and accept grief. You can start your search for a provider using an online therapist directory.

In My Experience

In my experience, grief is different for everyone. Some may grieve for a day, while others grieve for years. Grief can be lifelong, but you continue navigating the world without someone you love. Thoughts and memories will invoke sadness, but these feelings will pass. Seek the support of friends, family, or counselors to begin moving forward. Get the help you need and live the life you deserve.