Mindfulness for kids is more than just another parenting strategy. It isn’t a discipline tactic, nor is it a quick-fix for problems. Mindfulness for kids is much more powerful than any of that. It’s a way of being with kids and of helping them be with themselves and their world. Mindfulness is a way of being, an outlook, and a skillset all at once, and learning it young allows kids to build a strong foundation for lifelong mentally healthy habits and skills.
What Is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is nothing more and nothing less than being fully present in each moment of your life, experiencing it for what it is rather than imposing judgments and worries on it.1 When you are paying attention to what is happening right now and noticing your thoughts, feelings, sensations, people or events around you, you’re not fretting about the past or worrying about the future. Instead, your attitude about what is happening in the present moment is gentle, open, and accepting.2
Mindfulness is a technique rooted in Buddhist teachings and traditions of meditation. Mindfulness is an attitude about life and a way of living it that can be embraced by all ages. That’s because the ability to pay attention to each moment rather than to what’s racing around in the mind is within everyone as well as a skill that can be practiced and developed. It’s great for kids because they tend to be open and curious and engaged in whatever it is they’re doing in the moment.
Anyone who has spent time with them, though, knows that kids and teens can also be driven by strong emotions and are generally just as prone to experiencing stress, anxiety, and other mental health challenges as adults. Thus, they are both capable of developing a mindful approach to life and in a position to benefit from doing so. When describing mindfulness to kids, it can be helpful to put it in terms they can relate to.
The Texas-based hospital Children’s Health explains that mindfulness helps kids:3
- Get to know themselves
- Turn off external messages and noise that are bothering them
- Focus on being present right now, right where they are, instead of missing out because they are stuck in their thoughts, feelings, or problems.
For many kids and adults, mindfulness takes practice before it comes naturally, and there are skills and exercises you can learn and do to help develop this ability to pay attention to the here-and-now (we’ll explore some of them below). This of course is good news, but even better news is that there aren’t complicated steps to complete in order to live mindfully. According to mindful.org, “There’s no special place of calm you have to reach and it’s not about clearing your mind, it’s just an honest and kind look at what you’re experiencing at this moment.”4
Because there aren’t hard-and-fast rules or procedures to memorize and perform in order to practice mindfulness, kids pick it up organically as much as they do by doing exercises. Therefore, it’s helpful for parents to model mindfulness for their kids.
The Importance of Modeling Mindfulness to Your Children
Practicing mindfulness yourself and modeling the open, attentive attitude is the best way to teach mindfulness to your kids.2,4 Kids learn by watching their parents. Studies reveal that anxious parents tend to have children that are prone to anxiety;5 likewise parents who practice mindfulness help their kids develop it naturally and authentically.3
When parents are fully present with their children, children learn to pay full attention to whom they are with and what they are doing. Parents who approach problems calmly rather than emotionally, avoid harsh self-criticism and placing blame on others, and practice forgiveness and gratitude have children and teens who do the same.2 When it comes to living mindfully, actions truly do speak louder than words. Modeling mindfulness to your children shows them how to live mindfully themselves and gifts them with numerous benefits.
The Benefits of Mindfulness for Kids
Mindfulness is not a magic wand that removes problems and challenges. It also doesn’t dull emotions or control behavior. What it does is help kids calm and center themselves and learn to focus their attention intentionally so they can approach their inevitable problems and challenges openly and calmly.
Mindfulness offers many tangible benefits for kids and teens and can:
- Boost executive functioning in the brain to help academic learning. Mindfulness helps the developing brain because it hones skills that are rooted in the brain’s prefrontal cortex, such as concentration, attention span, memory, planning, reasoning, problem-solving, and smooth switching between tasks.2 A large review of studies evaluating the effectiveness of mindfulness-based interventions in schools revealed that mindfulness enhances academic skills and performance.6
- Increase social and emotional skills. A major developmental task of childhood and adolescence is to learn how to form and keep friendships and to deal with interpersonal conflicts.7 Learning mindfulness can help kids navigate these challenges successfully by increasing skills like attentive listening, empathy, and perspective-taking.8 Research has shown that mindfulness creates changes in the brain that decrease emotional reactivity and increase self-regulatory behaviors.8 Kids with emotional and behavioral issues remain calmer and respond to situations more rationally when they use mindfulness to focus their attention.9 Kids who are mindful also tend to develop patience, a necessary quality in relationships throughout life.
- Build resilience. Because it helps build emotional and behavioral regulation skills, mindfulness helps kids cope positively with problems and setbacks. Beyond this, studies have shown that using mindfulness skills decreases symptoms of depression.8
- Decrease stress. Even young children can be overscheduled and feel pressured.3 Technology makes the world faster and always “on,” and social media can create challenges never before faced by youth. Kids and teens receive a seemingly endless stream of input on how they “should” look, feel, and act that can be harmful to their developing sense of who they are. Responsibilities, while important, can also cause stress and anxiety. Mindfulness helps kids learn to stay calm in the face of stress, to focus on the moment rather than worrying about the past or future, and feel centered rather than rushed.8,10
- Improve overall mental health and wellbeing. It’s widely accepted that being mindful, attentive and centered in the moment, enhances mental health and wellbeing at every age. Kids who are mindful show increased self-confidence and compassion,3,4 acceptance of themselves, others, and situations,2 openness to experiences,4 and happiness and enjoyment of their lives.2,10
Age-Based Mindfulness Tips
The good news about teaching and learning mindfulness is that set rules and procedures don’t exist. Mindfulness is both an attitude and a skill that kids pick up as they are exposed to the concepts. Modeling mindfulness for your kids by verbalizing your own thoughts, paying full attention to them (and to any task you are engaged in) rather than being distracted by your phone, and pausing to breathe and focus your attention when you’re upset helps kids internalize these skills for themselves.
Like anything, teaching mindfulness works best when you meet your kids where they are developmentally. These pointers will help you tailor your approach to your kids’ ages.
Mindfulness for Young Children
The journey to mindfulness begins side-by-side. Engage in mindfulness directly with your toddlers and preschoolers, focusing on their senses and encouraging them to look, listen, feel, smell, and taste (when appropriate) as they go through their daily activities.9 For example, rather than rushing frantically through the grocery store, admonishing your child not to touch things, nurture their natural curiosity. When possible allow time in your schedule to linger in the produce department, for example, feeling the prickly pineapples and the smooth apples. Smell the melons. Describe the appearance of a kiwi.
You can also help these youngsters to use mindfulness to gain some control over their intense feelings and behaviors.9 Help them tune into their emotions by giving words to their feelings as you verbally observe what you notice. As they gear up for a tantrum, you might say, “I see you’re upset. You’re angry that you can’t have that cookie right now. Let’s let some of that angry energy out by running really fast and feeling the wind in our hair.”
This helps young kids begin to notice their emotions, put words to them, and redirect their attention by using their bodies and their senses. This is the essence of mindfulness. You can start this approach with toddlers, and by approximately age four, kids can begin to use these skills of noticing, naming, and shifting attention on their own.2
Mindfulness for School-Aged Children
As they enter and progress through elementary school, kids are increasingly capable of self-awareness and tuning in to their emotions; further, they can think about them and make conscious decisions based on them.11 Kids aged 5-12 continue to live very much in the present moment, but increasing demands and stressors begin to pull them in other directions and they often find themselves stuck in worries about the past or the future.
Help them deal with this by encouraging them to pause and use their senses to tune into the present moment.9 Help them use their natural curiosity to problem-solve by thinking out loud with them, using phrases like, “I wonder…” or “What would it be like to…” and then giving them space to problem-solve on their own.2
Mindfulness for Teenagers
Teens often want more information than younger children, especially if they are coming to mindfulness for the first time; therefore, you can explain what mindfulness is and let them know the benefits of practicing it.3 Also, teens like to have control over their choices, so presenting mindfulness as an option as opposed to dictating that they should use it for their own good goes a long way in fostering their openness to the idea.9
For teens, relationships are paramount. Use this to teach about and model mindfulness.2
For example:
- Spend intentional, distraction-free time together daily, such as at dinner, to listen to each other share about your day. Talk about highs and lows, and you can share how you stayed calm and present despite your challenges.
- Model non-judgment, acceptance, kindness, and calm in your interactions with your teen.
- Let them know that mindfulness in their relationships, being fully present with people they care about rather than distracted, deepens friendships and romantic relationships alike.
At any age, mindfulness skills evolve as they’re practiced. Engaging in mindfulness exercises with your young children and school-aged kids, and offering to do so with your teens as well as making exercises available for them to do on their own, can help them hone their ability to be mindful so they can draw on the skills to be present and calm in their lives. The following exercises can get you started.
12 Mindfulness Exercises for Kids
Like any skill, mindfulness takes time, patience, and practice to develop, and engaging in mindfulness exercises with your kids regularly can help them learn to be mindful as they navigate the ups and downs of childhood and adolescence.12 Mindfulness exercises are simple activities that help kids breathe deeply, notice their minds and bodies (thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations), and be fully focused on something in the present moment.
Mindfulness exercises can be done formally and informally. You can make them part of your routine by setting aside time to engage in mindfulness exercises (a certain time each day or even a few times per week), and you can also use simple mindfulness exercises spontaneously when you’re with your kids. Try these exercises as they are, or adapt them to suit you and your child.
1. Make a Glitter Jar
A glitter jar is a small jar filled with water, glitter glue, and dried glitter. It acts like a snow globe: when your child shakes it, the glitter whirls around wildly and when your child holds it still, the glitter gradually settles down.13 Glitter jars serve a dual purpose. They’re a powerful visual representation of a mind that is cluttered by a flurry of activity contrasted with one that is still and calm. They also serve as a focus object to help your child pay attention to one thing.
To make and use a glitter jar:
- Select a glass jar of any size. Baby food jars with labels removed or mason jars work well.
- Fill it with water about two-thirds full.
- Squeeze in a glob of glitter glue and add some dry glitter for extra sparkle.
- Let your child shake it. Point out that the swirling glitter is a lot like their thoughts and feelings zinging around in their mind.
- Have your child hold the jar still or place it on a table and then watch the glitter settle. Point out that when they pause mindfully to breathe and focus their attention, their thoughts and feelings settle just like the glitter. Then, they have a clear mind so they can better respond to problems.
- Allow your child to use their jar as a mindfulness object, focusing their attention on the activity and the glitter inside.
2. Scribble to Music
This calming activity uses sight, sound, and movement to help kids focus and center themselves.
- Tape a large sheet of paper on a table or hard floor. A roll of butcher paper works well for this.
- Provide crayons and/or markers.
- Play some of your child’s favorite music. You might suggest peppy music if they’re feeling tired or sad and calming music if they are agitated, but allow your child to decide.
- Let your child scribble to the beat. They can draw pictures if they prefer. The purpose is to simply let them listen to music and watch colors and shapes form on the paper.
- Ask your child if they want to do this by themselves or have you join in.
3. Go on a “Treasure Hunt”
Getting outside is good for mind and body.
- Take your child on a treasure hunt, a mindful walk.
- Play “I spy” to notice as many objects as you can. You might look for certain colors or specific things like animals, insects, pick-up trucks, or anything else your child wants to spot.
- Engage other senses, too, by listening for airplanes or barking dogs, identifying smells, and feeling objects of different textures.
4. Blow Bubbles
This activity helps kids learn to breathe slowly and deeply, an important part of mindfulness. Deep breathing calms the nervous system and reduces the body’s stress response. Many kids enjoy blowing bubbles to learn and practice proper breathing.
- Grab a jar of bubbles and head outside.
- Ask your child to blow a quick, hard breath into the bubble wand and observe what happens. (Quite likely, there will be a splutter of solution with no bubbles).
- Then, have them take a deep breath and blow slowly toward the wand and observe what happens. (Bubbles!)
- Older children can experiment with different breathing rhythms to create one or two large bubbles or a steady stream of smaller bubbles.
- For fun, you can blow bubbles and let your kids dance in them, try to catch them, or pop them.
5. Play Jenga
Jenga is a great game to play with older kids to help them learn the importance of concentration as well as practice focusing.12
- Play the game with your child in a distracted fashion. Talk, ask questions, move to music, have a TV show on, or otherwise make it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand.
- Then, play quietly, with no talking or distractions.
- Discuss the experiences with your child. Highlight the difficulty of doing something when you’re not giving the task your full attention, and compare the game to other situations in life that require focus or problem-solving
6. Flamingo
This balancing game is fun to play and helps kids concentrate. It also helps them develop mind-body awareness. It’s simple but powerful and involves balancing on one leg.12
- Challenge your child to stand on one leg for as long as they can.
- Try distracting them while they’re doing it and discuss how difficult it is to remain balanced when the mind wanders to other things.
- Then, allow them to experience standing like a flamingo while concentrating fully on the task.
7. Body Scan
This mindfulness activity helps kids notice tension in their bodies. When kids can identify when they’re tense, they can purposefully tighten and relax to reduce physical feelings of stress.
- Have your child lie down on their back or sit up in a chair.
- Ask them to focus on their feet. Have them curl their toes and then release them, concentrating on the feeling of letting go.
- Then, move up slightly and have them roll their ankles, noticing the sensation and releasing any tension.
- Next, have them squeeze and release their calf muscles, again simply noticing how it feels.
- Progress this way all the way up the body, ending with the muscles of the face.
8. Mindful Snack
Too often, we eat in a rushed or distracted fashion, gulping down food on the run, watching TV, or playing on a phone or tablet. Teach kids to slow down and fully experience meals and snacks. This aids in digestion and gives the mind a welcome break from stress or distractions.
- Notice how the food appears on the plate (it’s arrangement, color, size, shape, etc.)
- Take time to breathe deeply, noticing how the food smells. Ask your child to describe it.
- Take a small bite, and savor it, noting the temperature, texture, and flavor.
- Direct your child to pay attention to the muscles of their throat as they swallow.
- Continue to experience the snack mindfully until it’s gone.
9. Kindness Meditation
This meditation, adapted from mindful.org,4 helps kids sit calmly and quietly and focus on feelings of kindness for themselves and others. Even young children can sit in meditation, but keep the duration short, just a minute or two.
- Have your child sit comfortably, back straight, and breathe slowly and deeply.
- Ask them to think about someone they love and who loves them and picture this person in their mind.
- Direct your child to notice how they feel when they imagine this person.
- Have them make a kind wish for this person and picture the wish traveling to them.
- Next, have them think about someone they’ve had a conflict with recently, and repeat the same steps.
- Finally, have your child picture themselves and repeat the steps.
10. Superhero Poses
Posing like superheroes gives children a full-body mindfulness experience, and it boosts feelings of strength and power, too.13
- The Superman pose: Have your child stand with feet a little wider than hip-width apart, hands formed into fists, and arms extended up into the air. Have them feel the stretch, and ask them to picture themselves strong and steady.
- The Wonder Woman pose: This is similar to Superman but with hands on hips rather than up in the air. Again, have your child fully feel the pose and visualize being a superhero
11. Picture Your Favorite Place
This visualization exercise can help your child calm down when stressed. Rather than focusing on something tangible, your child imagines their favorite place with all their senses.
- Ask your child to close their eyes and imagine their favorite place in the whole world.
- What does it look like? Ask them to picture details like colors, objects, people, etc.
- What sounds do they hear?
- What do they smell?
- What can they touch, and what do different things feel like?
- Have them imagine themselves moving about in their favorite place. How do they feel it in their body?
- What emotions do they experience?
12. Focus on Four
This game lets kids practice paying attention to their surroundings with all their senses. You can challenge them to do this as quickly as they can, or you can linger on each sense, asking them to describe it.
- Ask your child to name four things they see.
- Have them identify four different sounds.
- Challenge them to notice four smells.
- Ask them to find and feel four different textures.
- If you are in your kitchen or in a restaurant, ask them to describe four different tastes.
Keeping Mindfulness Fun
Above all, mindfulness shouldn’t be a chore, one more thing that kids have to do. Keep it light, because the whole point of embracing mindfulness as a way of being and living is to be able to face anything that comes your way with calm, open lightheartedness. This doesn’t mean you or your kids have to like every situation, nor does it mean you should laugh in the face of serious problems.
It simply means that your thoughts and feelings are centered, rooted in the present moment rather than in the past or future. Working mindfulness into your lives naturally and keeping the activities fun helps kids truly embrace the practice as part of who they are.
Keeping mindfulness fun involves keeping it positive. Avoid using it as a punishment (if your child has broken a rule, don’t send them to their room to be mindful and calm down). While of course you can help them breathe deeply when they’re upset and focus their attention on something other than what’s upsetting them, be sure to use mindfulness in neutral and happy times, too. Point out good things in a moment, talk about gratitude, and help kids identify positive emotions.
Remember, too, that kids learn while playing.3 The above exercises are most effective when they’re done in a game-like spirit. Often, kids learn more when they’re being silly than when they must be still and serious.
Avoid forcing any mindfulness activity on your kids. Keep exercises brief, especially for young kids (attention spans lengthen naturally with age and with mindfulness practice). Consider your child’s unique personality when engaging in mindfulness activities.9 A very active child, for example, will resist sitting meditations (especially at first) but may embrace mindful walks and other activities involving movement.
Last but absolutely not least, keeping mindfulness fun involves keeping it positive. Avoid using it as a punishment (if your child has broken a rule, don’t send them to their room to be mindful and calm down). While of course you can help them breathe deeply when they’re upset and focus their attention on something other than what’s upsetting them, be sure to use mindfulness in neutral and happy times, too.2 Point out good things in a moment, talk about gratitude, and help kids identify positive emotions.
Practice What You Preach: Tips for Mindful Parenting
Mindful parenting is a way of being with your kids that is about offering yourself fully to them and interacting with them without distraction.14 It also means noticing your reactions to upsetting situations (because there will always be stressful, upsetting situations when parenting, even for the most mindful of parents) and then calming and resetting yourself so you can deal with things positively, choosing your response thoughtfully.15 Try these tips for becoming a more mindful parent. As an added bonus, doing these things is a way of modeling mindfulness.
Be Attentive
When you are with your kids, give them your undivided attention to the best of your abilities. Put down your phone and dismiss other distractions. Engage with them completely: Pay attention to them by watching what they’re doing and listening to what they’re saying.14 Enjoy your time together rather than multitasking or worrying about other things.4 When you catch your mind wandering, gently return it to the moment with your kids.
Self-Regulate
Develop your own emotional awareness by noticing how you feel before you react.14 Use slow, deep breathing to calm yourself as needed so you can respond thoughtfully. Spend time, even just five or 10 minutes, every day in mindful meditation to help keep yourself centered. There are several apps to help you remember to meditate, including Calm and Sanvello.
Practice Acceptance
Accept your child and yourself completely, imperfections and all.4,14 Forgive yourself when you make mistakes, and extend the same courtesy to your kids. Model the attitude that mistakes aren’t failures but are opportunities for growth and learning. When kids see that no one is perfect, they are less likely to be critical of themselves and others, and they’re more able to forgive.
Express Gratitude
Approach each day with appreciation and gratitude for all that is right.2 Shifting attention from what is wrong to what right helps you remain calm and open with your kids when problems arise. This doesn’t mean ignoring what’s wrong or letting your kids get away with misbehavior, of course. Focusing on the good simply helps you maintain a balanced perspective and keep problems in perspective.
Mindful parenting brings great rewards. Being calm, present, open, and accepting through all the ups and downs of child-raising strengthens your relationship with your child, fosters communication, and decreases stress and anxiety that comes with the territory.14 Also, mindful parents raise mindful kids. Mindfulness for kids empowers them to show up for their lives and successfully navigate all the ups and downs.
