Mindful Parenting: How It Works, Benefits, & How to Practice

What Is Mindful Parenting?

Mindful parenting is living mindfully as the mother or father of your child at this moment and every moment. It involves applying mindfulness to your role as a parent, encouraging you to remain centered and fully present rather than stuck in your thoughts and emotions. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction, has described mindfulness as “a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.” Thus, mindful parenting is a way of befriending ourselves, our children, and our parenting journey.

Mindful parenting is less about steps or procedures and more about embracing your relationship with your child.¹ It involves noticing and accepting what is happening at the moment. You’re fully present and aware of your and your child’s emotions. This way, you can remain engaged and calm rather than zoning out during those mundane (even boring) moments or swallowed up by heated emotions like anger or impatience.²

While rewarding, parenting can be stressful and frustrating. Further, parents face many daily demands that add stress and distraction. It’s natural for parents to feel frazzled, sometimes leading to yelling, impulsively setting or bending their rules, or withdrawing and later feeling remorseful or guilty.

Mindful parenting is about breaking this cycle by becoming aware of these stressful situations and unpleasant emotions so you can pause before reacting.³ Essentially, mindful parenting is about shifting away from reactivity, responding thoughtfully in each moment, and helping your kids do the same.^3,4

Key Concepts of Mindful Parenting

Mindful parenting is an attitude and a mindset rather than a structured, systematic approach to parenting. That said, the concepts of mindful parenting serve as tools to guide you toward a calm, centered, present, and peaceful relationship with your child.

Below are the main concepts of mindful parenting:

Attention & Focus

Mindful parenting facilitates presence because parents remain focused on the current moment with their child.^3,5 Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, can help parents provide their undivided attention rather than being distant and distracted.

Awareness

Noticing and catching emotions before they grow out of control is essential in mindful parenting.^1,3,6 This includes being aware of and paying attention to stressful situations and complicated emotions (whether the parent’s, the child’s, or both).⁴ Parents who are fully present and aware in the moment can more easily notice when their kids (and they) are becoming frustrated or upset. Then, they can help kids recognize their own emotions, name them, and deal with them positively.

Acceptance & Non-Judgement

In mindful parenting, parents learn to be present with all emotions and situations, accepting them as they are rather than judging them as “bad” and something to avoid, fix, or struggle against.^1,4,5 This does not mean that parents accept all behavior. Instead, parents accept the emotion driving the behavior to help kids through the experience.

Mindful parenting also means parents accept their range of emotions without judging themselves harshly for feeling frustrated, angry, or bored. Acceptance and non-judgment allow parents to be open to what happens in any given moment with their kids, and this openness helps prevent automatic reactions and impulsive words or actions.³

Empathy & Compassion

Rather than berating kids for their words or feelings, parents help kids understand their emotions and accept themselves fully by approaching them with deep understanding. This involves being attentive and listening to kids as they share their feelings. When parents calmly reflect their kids’ feelings to them, kids feel heard and can begin to understand their complex emotions.³

Empathy also involves openly forgiving them for mistakes.^3,4 Parents also admit their parenting mistakes (even those who practice mindful parenting slip up) and ask for forgiveness. In this way, mindful parenting teaches kids that everyone makes mistakes and is still lovable and worthy of forgiveness and respect. This helps kids be compassionate with themselves and others.

Creative Problem Solving

Parents who practice mindful parenting refrain from stepping in to solve kids’ problems for them.⁴ Rather than rushing in with a solution, they stay present, express empathy and understanding, and guide them in exploring how to address problems and stressful situations.³ Openness may include asking questions such as, “Can you remember something you did before that worked,” or “Is there something you can say to let your friend know how you feel without hurting their feelings?”

Appreciation & Gratitude

With mindful parenting, the emphasis is on what is right rather than wrong. Parents convey appreciation for their kids’ positive behaviors and openly express gratitude for positive aspects of life. These concepts combine to assist parents in being present with their kids in a way that aligns with their values and visions for their family. Together, they help work toward the ultimate goal of mindful parenting.

What Is the Goal of Mindful Parenting?

The goal of mindful parenting is to provide a pause between emotion and response. Parents learn to stop their immediate emotional reaction to challenging situations and instead choose a thoughtful, intentional response.¹ Thus, they can avoid power struggles and other emotional battles with their kids.

It’s important to note that mindful parenting is not about eliminating your parental emotions or never becoming upset. Instead, mindful parenting focuses on noticing your feelings and initial reactions before using mindfulness concepts to pause, redirect your attention, and reset. This allows you to choose your response in stressful situations.⁶

How Can Mindful Parenting Help?

Mindful parenting helps kids regulate their emotions and behaviors. One study found mindful parenting encourages positive parenting, reducing childhood behavioral problems.¹ Children are less likely to exhibit negative behaviors, such as acting out or withdrawing, when parents set clear rules and enforce them consistently, openly show love and affection, and devote time and attention to their kids.

With its emphasis on awareness, nonjudgement, and presence, mindful parenting fosters positive communication between family members. Parents and kids learn to recognize and express feelings calmly and openly, knowing they will be heard and respected even if they do not always get their way.⁷

Mindful parenting also helps kids grow and develop into healthy, well-functioning adults. When parents model skills such as staying focused on the present moment, awareness of feelings and thoughts, pausing before reacting impulsively to stressors, and expressing gratitude for what is right, kids emulate mindfulness as a perspective and way of life.⁸

Similarly, mindful parenting models a healthy attitude toward mistakes and imperfections. Kids learn it’s okay to make mistakes when parents are empathic and encourage a trial-and-error approach to creative problem-solving. Parents who forgive kids for their mistakes show them they are loved unconditionally, a feeling necessary for developing a strong, realistic, healthy self-concept.

Mindful Parenting Examples

Mindful parenting is an attitude and approach to being with your children. It isn’t reserved for a certain age group—it’s neither too sophisticated for young children nor too simplistic for teens. Here’s a look at some mindful parenting examples for different age groups

Mindful Parenting With Infants

Mindful parenting with infants means tuning in to your baby’s needs and being fully responsive and attentive during interactions. Parents avoid multitasking during feeding or diaper changing, for example, and instead focus on time with their infant, engaging in skin-to-skin contact, maintaining eye contact, observing the way their baby moves and how parent and baby respond to each other, and talking directly to them in a calm, quiet, loving voice.⁹

Mindful Parenting With Young Children

Toddlers and preschoolers feel and act on intense emotions because they don’t fully understand their feelings. They don’t have words or concepts to grasp why they feel how they do. Also, young children haven’t yet developed the ability to pause between thinking and acting on the thought. Mindful parenting helps young kids learn to identify their emotions and shift their attention from what’s upsetting them to something different in the moment.⁸

When a young child has a tantrum because she can’t have her way, their parent doesn’t scold or admonish them but instead accepts they are reacting in a developmentally appropriate way. Then, the parent can help the child name their emotion, be present with them, and shift their attention to something pleasing.

Mindful Parenting With School-Aged Kids

Mindful parenting can help kids ages 8-12 better deal with their increasingly overwhelming life situations as they juggle more responsibilities at home and school with activities and new, more complex relationships. With its emphasis on openness, curiosity, and creative problem-solving, mindful parenting can provide kids with a healthy balance between parental support and space to independently develop solutions to their own difficulties.⁸

When a child has friendship squabbles, mindful parents do not try to avoid the issue, jump in to solve the problems, or talk kids out of their strong feelings. If a child fights with their best friend and cries, “I hate them! I never want to see them again,” mindful parents don’t say, “You don’t really mean that. You like them!” Instead, parents remain calm, clarify their child’s feelings, and remain present as they work through possible solutions.

Mindful Parenting With Teens

Middle and high school kids often gravitate away from their parents and toward their peers.¹⁰ Mindful parenting means accepting this shift and allowing it to happen while remaining a positive presence.

Set aside time to be fully present with your teen and listen to them attentively and nonjudgmentally.⁸ Mindful parenting with adolescents also involves being aware of your emotions so you can pause and respond thoughtfully without reacting negatively to their stories or whims.¹¹ This helps teens feel valued and heard. Consequently, they’re more likely to open up and come to you when they need help problem-solving.

Benefits of Mindful Parenting

Mindful parenting offers numerous benefits for parents and kids alike.

The benefits of mindful parenting include the following:

• Helping foster a healthy parent-child relationship with fewer conflicts and stronger connections^1,11
• Increasing childhood adjustment
• Reducing problematic behaviors, both internalizing (turning problems inward as seen in childhood anxiety, childhood depression, withdrawal, and isolation) and externalizing (turning problems outward, such as acting out, having tantrums, hitting, and exhibiting open defiance^1,12
• Improving communication skills between family members¹
• Decreasing feelings of anxiety and stress for moms, dads, and kids alike¹
• Increasing connection to parenting goals and visions for the family⁵

Is Mindful Parenting Effective?

Studies into mindful parenting indicate that this approach effectively enhances family peace and the emotional well-being of parents and children of all ages. One study found that caregivers using mindful parenting showed fewer negative feelings and were less likely to react emotionally during conflict than those who did not use a similar approach. Consequently, these teens were less likely to report engaging in risky behaviors.¹²

Additional research found that mindful parenting reduces dysfunctional parenting techniques such as yelling, criticizing, and using harsh or inconsistent discipline methods. It also improves child behavior, boosts the parent-child relationship, and enhances childhood social behaviors and relationships.¹

Mindful parenting programs based on mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) offer mindful parenting training for those experiencing mental health challenges, such as heightened stress, anxiety, or postpartum depression. In 2017, researchers studied one such program, reporting these techniques can increase the ability to engage in conscious parenting, cope with parental stress, and improve parent-child relationships.¹³

Mindful Parenting Vs. Other Parenting Styles

Mindful parenting is different from other parenting styles by its very nature. It offers a way of being with children rather than rules or procedures for doing certain things. This approach doesn’t exist entirely apart from other parenting styles. Instead, the concepts can be incorporated into any style emphasizing warmth and affection, positive reinforcement rather than punishment, and clear rules with consistent and logical consequences.¹ Parents can use mindful parenting regardless of their unique approach to helping their family function smoothly and healthily.

Mindful parenting differs from negative parenting styles because it rejects yelling, punishment, criticism, and harsh reactions.¹ Mindful parenting is not perfect, but no perfect style exists. When mindful parents react negatively without pausing to consider a compassionate response, they simply notice, acknowledge, accept their fault, and redirect their attention and emotions to a calm presence.

Final Thoughts

In mindful parenting, all family members learn to pause and respond rather than react emotionally to stressful situations, thoughts, and feelings. The result is calm compassion, acceptance, and positive problem-solving that carries kids through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.