Afraid to Make a Wrong Choice: What Can Cause a Fear of Making Decisions?

What Can Cause a Fear of Making a Wrong Choice?

It is estimated that the average American adult makes approximately 35,000 decisions per day.¹ Some of these decisions are unconscious and automatic, while other decisions may be considered high stakes and consume our thoughts. There are many underlying causes and triggers that can make someone afraid to make a wrong choice, including anxiety, past traumatic experiences, or high stakes.

Here are nine reasons a person may be afraid to make a wrong choice:

1. High Stakes

The fear of making wrong choices can intensify when the consequences are significant. When a decision has the capacity to impact our lives in the long term, this may cause feelings of anxiety around decision-making. When confronted with a high-stakes situation, it is natural for us to take considerable time evaluating the potential outcomes and seeking advice. However, this may lead to increased fear of making the wrong decision.

Examples of high-stakes situations may vary from person to person. What is considered “high-stakes” to one person may not be to another. Some common situations that may cause increased anxiety include choosing where to attend university, pursuing mid-life career changes, starting a family, committing long-term to a romantic partner or proposing to marriage, etc.

2. Generalized Anxiety

Generalized anxiety disorder can create a fear of making wrong choices. Individuals with anxiety often catastrophize, and therefore, the consequences of decisions can begin to feel scarier than they need to be. Additionally, symptoms such as racing thoughts or persistent worry cause anxiety-induced brain fog, which impacts a person’s ability to make quick and decisive decisions.²

3. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are often afraid of making the wrong choice due to the nature of their obsessions and compulsions, which can make them believe that if something is done wrong, it can lead to catastrophe. Additionally, many individuals with OCD struggle with compulsive reassurance-seeking, ruminating, and checking or reviewing. surrounding making the “right” choice. Due to the intensity of OCD symptoms and fear of making the wrong decision, individuals may avoid making decisions whenever possible.³

4. Perfectionism

The fear of making a wrong choice can be heightened in individuals with traits of perfectionism. Perfectionism is the need to appear flawless. Individuals with perfectionistic tendencies tend to be risk-averse and develop decision paralysis because they are afraid to make the wrong decision. If the “wrong” decision is made, the outcome may go against what perfectionism is trying to achieve, such as causing a perceived sense of failure, a sense of worthlessness, and loss of self-confidence.

5. Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can contribute to the fear of making wrong choices. When a person is sensitive to social expectations and peer pressure, they can begin to develop a fear of making a wrong choice that will result in judgment and criticism if their decisions go against the flow of their social circle. Their fear of judgment and fear of rejection can make the thought of making a wrong choice in front of others debilitating.

6. Lack of Self-Confidence

When someone has self-esteem issues or lack of confidence, they often will have self-doubt and develop a fear of making the wrong decision. Ultimately, the underlying belief that causes low self-esteem and lack of confidence, such as “I can’t do anything right” or “I am a failure no matter what I try,” may be interfering with our decision-making process.

7. Past Traumatic Experiences

When an individual has experienced trauma, they will often incorrectly blame themselves for what occurred and feel like they cannot trust themselves anymore. When future decisions arise, they will believe their decision-making is dangerously flawed, which makes them afraid to make the wrong decision again. Additionally, when a person has PTSD, their body is in a state of hypervigilance, which can make any nerves surrounding a decision feel unbearable and result in a deep fear of making the wrong decision.

8. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

Individuals with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are prone to overstimulation, which can cause difficulty “filtering data” as necessary to make an informed decision. Instead of filtering data, someone with ADHD will have a tendency to evaluate all potential outcomes in decision-making. This can cause ADHD paralysis, which involves increased fear, overwhelm, and anxiety about making the wrong decision.

9. Gender & Finances

Research shows that environmental factors such as finances and gender can cause someone to have a fear of making the wrong choice.⁴ Individuals from a lower income tend to be afraid of the risks associated with a decision. Additionally, studies show that fear of stereotypes, fear of failure, and fear of judgment can cause women to be afraid of making incorrect decisions.⁵

Consequences of Being Afraid to Make a Wrong Choice

There can be real-life consequences associated with being afraid to make the wrong choice. A person may miss out on relationships, lose an opportunity for a promotion at work, and experience financial issues due to indecision of what to invest or how much to save. By avoiding decision-making due to the fear of outcomes, we may experience consequences and miss out on experiences.

How to Overcome the Fear of Making Decisions

Seeking professional support, building decision-making skills, and increasing self-confidence are a few strategies to help individuals overcome the fear of making the wrong choice. Like a muscle, decision-making is a skill that strengthens over time with practice

Here are some strategies for how to overcome the fear of making wrong choices:

Self-Reflect on What Is Causing the Fear

The first step to overcoming the fear of making the wrong choice is understanding what is causing the fear. Self-reflection and awareness are essential components to making the best-informed decision. Taking a step back to consider what is causing the fear. Journaling or talking to a trusted support is a great way to self-reflect and broaden your current awareness.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to gain self-awareness and help make a decision:

• Is my decision more about satisfying the present versus what is best for my future?
• Is this choice aligned with my values?
• Will my decision have a lasting impact on myself and/or others?
• If I am feeling stuck, is there anyone in my direct community that I can talk to?

Seek Professional Support

If you have a history of avoidance in decision-making, trauma from the outcome of past decisions, or a debilitating fear of decision-making, it may be necessary to seek professional support. A professional can partner alongside you in exploring what is causing your fear. They will also help you develop skills to stop avoidance coping and move forward in your decision-making with more clarity and empowerment.

There are in-person and online therapy options available, and you can determine which works best for you. Typically online therapist directories and online therapy platforms make the process easy to navigate. You can filter based on preferences such as specialties, insurance, and gender to identify a therapist who may be a good fit for you.

Remind Yourself You Have Done This Before

If you are stumped by a current decision, take a moment to pause and reflect on a time that you made a challenging decision in the past. You either made a great decision and reaped the benefits, or you made a decision based on the information you had at the time and, in hindsight, wished you would have chosen differently based on the information you have now. Regardless, you adequately coped with the outcome.

Use your strengths and past successes to your advantage in the decision-making process. It is estimated that the average American adult makes approximately 35,000 decisions per day.¹ You are no stranger to decisions! Chances are, you have made quite a few choices in your lifetime.

Positive affirmations that you can repeat to yourself to build self-confidence throughout the decision-making process are: “I have made hard decisions before; I can do it again” and “I have worked through the outcome of every decision I have made in the past.”

Try to Challenge the Thoughts

Fears are driven by negative thoughts that result in us becoming paralyzed. A big part of overcoming a fear is challenging those thoughts. To challenge the thought, try cognitive restructuring, which is a technique used to help individuals challenge irrational beliefs and thoughts related to making wrong choices.

Consider the following cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies to assist in the decision-making process: 

• Pro and cons list Typically, the outcome of a single decision is not “all good” or “all bad”. Our irrational beliefs may cause us to believe otherwise and keep us in a cycle of rumination by thinking of the worst-case scenario. Consider making a pros and cons list and evaluating how the outcome may be neutral or mixed with both wanted and unwanted outcomes.⁶

• Balanced thinking: When we predict the worst-case scenario and tell ourselves, “I will fail no matter what,” we may be caught in a thought process known as “catastrophizing.”⁶ You can begin to develop balanced thinking by asking yourself: Is there evidence that this thought is true? What would I tell a loved one in a similar situation who experienced the same thought?⁶

Strengthen Your Decision-Making Skills

Like a muscle, decision-making is a skill that strengthens over time with practice. To improve decision-making skills, practice gathering as much information as possible to make the best-informed decision for yourself at the moment. Determine how the decision(s) align with your values and seek advice from a professional or trusted support when needed.

For example, if you are considering changing jobs that would come with a pay increase but have a larger time commitment per week than your current role, pause, reflect, and determine whether, in this season of life, you value time, money or experience the most.

You can also consider utilizing a decision-making model, such as D.E.C.I.D.E., to evaluate all sides before making a final decision: Define the problem, Establish the criteria, Consider the alternatives, Identify the best alternatives, Develop and implement a plan of action, and Evaluate and monitor the solution.⁷

Build Resilience & Adaptability

Chances are that when you had to make a decision, you made the best possible decision based on the information you had at the time. Whether that decision turned out to be ideal or not, you can cope with the outcome by practicing compassionate self-talk and self-forgiveness, determining how you can move forward and take action, and considering how to improve your decision-making next time.

A great way to build resilience and adaptability in facing outcomes is to cultivate a growth mindset. For example, instead of viewing challenges or setbacks as mistakes or failures, practice reframing your perspective and viewing challenges as a learning opportunity. When we recognize the personal growth that can come from perceived setbacks, we can move forward with empowerment and self-confidence versus fear.

Reduce Your Vulnerabilities in Decision-Making

Taking care of ourselves physically and mentally is important in the decision-making process. Vulnerabilities that can make decision-making more overwhelming include being tired, stressed, angry, hungry, or impaired by alcohol or another substance.⁸ Using the dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) P.L.E.A.S.E. skill, evaluate the ways that you can reduce your vulnerabilities to make the best decision for you.⁸

P.L.E.A.S.E. stands for:⁷

• PL: Treat Physical iLlness
• E: Eat balanced meals
• A: Avoid mood-altering drugs
• S: Get a good night’s Sleep
• E: Make time for Exercise