What Does It Mean to Be Androsexual?

What Does It Mean to Be Androsexual?

Androsexual is a sexual orientation that describes someone who is attracted to aspects of masculinity. “Masculinities refer to the social roles, behaviors, and meanings prescribed for men in any society at any time.”¹ For the purposes of this article, we will use conventional modern Western societal expectations of masculinity. Some of these might include “traditional” attributes of masculinity, such as responsibility, assertiveness, and competitiveness. Heteronormative masculinity might also include appearance, typical styles of clothing or behavior, and sexual attraction for women only.

Androsexuality is one of the points on a sexuality spectrum, indicating a person who feels sexual attraction to masculine attributes or character. To clarify, a person who feels androsexual attraction is not always attracted to men. Androsexual is a term people may use to describe those primarily attracted to perceived masculinity, either sexually, aesthetically, or romantically. Anybody of any gender identity or sexual orientation can identify as androsexual. Individuals identifying as androsexual might be attracted to anyone with masculine qualities regardless of sexual orientation or gender.

Sexuality is Fluid

It is important to remember that sexuality is fluid, meaning that a person’s sexual orientation, preference, and behaviors may change over time. Likewise, the term androsexual might mean different things to different individuals. Each person has the right to choose their own sexual identity and labels. In addition, a person can identify as androsexual and also cisgender, nonbinary, transgender, or intersex; gender identity is not a determining or implied factor of sexual orientation. All of us can feel attached to or identify with diverse gender identities and/or sexual orientations.

Androsexuality Vs. Homosexuality Vs. Heterosexuality

A person can identify as androsexual and also homosexual (experiencing sexual attraction to masculine people of the same gender) or heterosexual (experiencing sexual attraction toward masculine folks of the “opposite” or another gender), bisexual (experiencing sexual attraction toward masculine folks of more than one gender), or pansexual (experiencing sexual attraction regardless of gender). Individuals identifying as androsexual might be attracted to anyone with masculine qualities irrespective of sexual orientation or gender.

Androsexuality Myths & Misconceptions

Individuals who identify as androsexual do not experience attraction toward all other individuals with masculine traits. They have the potential to be attracted to other folks with masculine characteristics, behaviors, or appearance, just like every individual who is lesbian does not automatically feel attracted to all women. Sexuality is very personal, and each of us experiences it differently.

Below are common myths and misconceptions around androsexuality:

• You can tell if someone is androsexual by appearance. It is essential and respectful to note that no androsexual experience is identical to another. We can’t “tell” whether another individual identifies as androsexual by looking at them, observing their personality, or their physical aesthetic. None of these characteristics can provide an absolute as to how a person identifies! This is as true for androsexual individuals as any gender or sexual orientation.
• Androsexuals are only attracted to men. An individual who identifies as androsexual might have sexual attraction to men, women, trans or nonbinary individuals, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. People who identify as androsexual are attracted to a person’s masculine qualities. People who identify as androsexual may be drawn to gender identities that emphasize masculinity, such as cisgender, nonbinary, and other gender identities. This includes men and women with more traditionally or culturally masculine characteristics.
• A person will identify as androsexual for their whole lives. It is important to remember that sexuality is fluid, meaning that a person’s sexual orientation, preference, and behaviors may change over time.
• All androsexual people are attracted to the same people or masculine qualities. There are 8 billion people on the planet! That gives all of us, including people who identify as androsexual, many opportunities for attraction.

Androsexuality in Relationships

If you identify as androsexual, you may feel comfortable coming out to your partner or loved ones. It’s essential to be honest with yourself and others in a relationship; expressing your attraction is one way. However, it’s also okay if you do not want to confide in someone or wait until you’re ready.

It is essential to have respectful communication in relationships, whether about goals, preferences, sexual identity, or life experiences. Discussing your values, needs, and expectations with a partner or potential partner is especially important in a romantic relationship. As you develop a healthy bond, each person in the relationship feels valued and safe. Relationships outside the heteronormative view must ensure all partners feel safe and heard.

Can androsexuality look different for everyone? Of course! Sexuality is a very personal and individual piece of our identity. Therefore, androsexuality will look different from person to person. Some individuals utilize a label to describe or identify their sexuality, while others might not. It’s your choice! The term androsexual might capture potential attraction in a way heterosexual or homosexual don’t quite define.

What Challenges Do Androsexual People Experience?

In our primarily heteronormative Western society, people who experience different sexuality might face some challenges. Even though the language around LGBTQ+ sexualities is expanding, many people do not know what androsexual means. Even if people understand that someone identifies as androsexual, they might be misled by some of the above-referenced misconceptions.

Challenges can also vary depending on an individual’s relationships. A person who identifies as androsexual and gay could still experience discrimination issues related to their sexual identity. There’s also the possibility that individuals who identify as androsexual may face mental health disparities that have affected the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole, including higher rates of substance abuse, self-harm, or suicide.

Individuals who identify as androsexual might be asked frequently what their sexual orientation is and what it means. It is important to remember that a person who identifies as androsexual is attracted to masculine qualities but not necessarily to men. Equally challenging is the lack of understanding from health and mental health care providers who might not know what androsexuality means.

The individuals who identify under the LGBTQ+ umbrella are often assumed to share struggles involved in marginalization. Although the acronym creates a sense of unity for individuals whose experiences don’t reflect a heteronormative orientation, it can be harmful to neglect to appreciate the nuances of each person’s experience.

Challenges that may affect individuals who identify as androsexual include:

• Mental health conditions: Many mental health providers are ill-equipped to treat individuals who identify on the LGBTQ+ gender or sexuality spectrums. Whether it is a lack of knowledge or understanding or a personal bias, individuals who identify as androsexual or are partnered with those who identify as androsexual are often treated with mistaken beliefs. Studies have shown that health disparities were detected in the LGBT community, which exhibited higher mental health problems, substance abuse, risky sexual behaviors, self-harm, and suicide.² Externally prescribed heteronormativity (the idea that one must be heterosexual, heteroromantic, and monogamous) may contribute to the distress that nonheterosexual individuals experience when questioning their sexual orientation.
• Physical health conditions: Gay, bisexual, and other men who reported male-to-male sexual contact are disproportionately affected by HIV. Even though those identifying as androsexual might not necessarily have sexual contact with men, this risk could still hold for those having sexual interactions with other men. In addition, LGBT youth are at a higher risk for substance use, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), cancers, cardiovascular diseases, obesity, bullying, isolation, rejection, anxiety, depression, and suicide than the general population. LGBT youth receive poor quality of care due to stigma, lack of healthcare providers’ awareness, and insensitivity to the unique needs of this community.³
• Substance abuse: Substance use and abuse are often reactions or adaptive behaviors to feeling marginalized, victimized, or outside the societal norm. For individuals living within the LGBTQ+ world, androsexual or not, this is often a genuine mental health concern. Health disparities are inequitable and are directly related to the historical and current unequal distribution of social, political, economic, and environmental resources.⁴ Social and structural issues such as HIV stigma, homophobia, discrimination, poverty, and limited access to high-quality healthcare influence health outcomes and continue to drive inequities.
• Self-harm or suicide: self-harm or suicide are real concerns marginalized individuals experience. Sexual and gender minorities (SGMs) experience disproportionately high rates of stress-sensitive mental health conditions resulting from stigma-related challenges across the lifespan.⁵

How to Know if You’re Androsexual

You might consider yourself androsexual if you focus more on masculinity than the gender of the person you’re attracted to. You might be drawn more to the aspects of “maleness,” such as the physical, emotional, mental, or sexual entities of your partner. Some folks identifying as androsexual are only attracted to men; others might be attracted to anyone with a masculine identity, appearance, and/or gender expression. It’s possible to be androsexual and still identify as something else, such as bisexual or pansexual.

You may identify as androsexual if you:

• Are attracted to individuals on the “masculine” side of the gender spectrum
• Experience attraction to people who exhibit masculine qualities regardless of gender
• Are attracted to individuals who identify as non-binary
• Are a cisgender female (someone who identifies as female and was assigned female at birth) who is attracted to men and/or masculine individuals
• Identify as a nonbinary individual

Do I Need to Label My Sexuality?

Many elements in life are hard to put words to, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that the same applies to sexuality. Experiencing fluidity might be why some people refuse to use a label in the first place. You might feel you can’t change your mind or take it back once you’ve done it. You might not know yourself yet, or you may not want to close off your options in the future or dictate how people see you.

Labeling your sexual orientation is unnecessary if you do not want to do so. You don’t have to have a defined sexuality or engage with a sexual label. Suppose you would like a label for your sexuality, for your purposes to help find people with similar identities. Your sexuality is yours alone to define and label. Younger generations, in particular, seem more comfortable remaining ambiguous personally or in their private lives. There can be a lot of pressure from your community, peers, or family to label your sexuality and to come out publicly. Generations of celebrities and earlier pioneers within the LGBTQ+ movement have advocated coming out to declare personal pride and act as a road map for others.

Coming Out as Androsexual

It’s up to an androsexual person to choose how, when, and if they’d like to share their sexual and gender orientation with other people. While some people will support androsexual people no matter the circumstance, others may still need more education about what it means to be androsexual. If the androsexual person in your life isn’t ready to talk to others about their gender or sexual orientation, let them be. In addition, talking about orientations and identities that do not align with socially constructed norms and expectations isn’t safe for everyone. Not all situations are safe for LGBTQIA+ individuals, so be careful of what you say.

Not everyone comes out the same way. And not everyone comes out to everybody in their lives or comes out to everybody simultaneously. There’s no one right way to come out.⁷

How to Support an Androsexual Person

If someone you know describes themselves as androsexual, you might not know how to show support. There are lots of ways to be an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. Allyship can include social or community activities, like educating others on LGBTQIA+ issues and terminology. You can listen to and learn about the experiences of LGBTQIA+ people. Of course, we can avoid assumptions about people’s gender identities and sexual orientations. Therapists, in particular, need to understand how unconscious beliefs and biases can be harmful.

Sometimes a person on the LGBTQ+ spectrum might need your support if they do not feel safe living or experiencing their life in a public fashion. As an ally, you can be intentionally inclusive with social groups, use of pronouns, and terminology.

Below are some ways you can support a person who identifies as androsexual:

• Learn more about androsexuality. Knowing what you can about people you care about helps them feel respected.
• Help your loved ones feel safe! Speak up if a situation requires it, such as if you hear offensive or ignorant comments against LGBTQIA+ people.
• Recognize that no androsexual experience is identical to another. We are all individuals with different lives and experiences.
• Remember that you can’t “tell” whether someone is androsexual by looking at them, observing their personality, or their physical aesthetic.
• Work on your attitude and biases about gender, sexuality, and sex. Educating yourself is an excellent first step in increasing your awareness and not making your lack of knowledge in this area burden your friends or family.

Can Therapy Help?

Androsexuality is not a mental health issue on its own. However, being part of a sexual minority can create mental health issues, as referenced above. However, questioning your sexuality, feeling isolated, or wanting assistance in coming out to friends or family could be good reasons to seek professional help. You may consider finding an LGBTQ+ therapist if you or a loved one are struggling or questioning sexuality. Many therapists have lived LGBTQ+ experience or have training to help you through this time. Many therapists and counselors provide online LGBTQ+ therapy options, too.

In My Experience

In my experience, thinking about your sexuality or wanting to explore your sexuality is normal! Moreover, it’s okay to feel confused or unsure. Don’t be afraid to seek help and talk to a trusted friend or loved one. It is your life to live how you want to, with the labels you decide are correct.

Coming out isn’t always easy as the person is revealing an integral part of their identity to someone in their life. For many LGBTQ people, this involves sharing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. This is a personal decision and yours alone to make.