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How to Deal With Frustration: 10 Tips

Published: September 9, 2021 Updated: May 15, 2022
Published: 09/09/2021 Updated: 05/15/2022
Headshot of Robert Hinojosa, LCSW
Written by:

Robert Hinojosa

LCSW
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP
Reviewed by:

Trishanna Sookdeo

MD, MPH, FAAFP
  • Get Active!1.
  • Write It Down2.
  • Talk With a Trusted Friend3.
  • Practice Meditation4.
  • Do Belly Breathing5.
  • Do Something That Brings You Joy6.
  • Pet an Animal7.
  • Look for Solutions8.
  • Check in on Expectations (Are They Realistic?)9.
  • Talk to a Therapist10.
  • How Therapy Can Help Someone Who Is Feeling FrustratedHow Therapy Can Help
  • Final Thoughts on Dealing With FrustrationConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • How to Deal With Frustration InfographicsInfographics
Headshot of Robert Hinojosa, LCSW
Written by:

Robert Hinojosa

LCSW
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP
Reviewed by:

Trishanna Sookdeo

MD, MPH, FAAFP

Generally, frustration comes in the wake of unmet goals or expectations. It could be related to something you’ve put a great deal of time and effort into, such as a promotion or learning a new skill. It could also be related to something that you assumed or expected would happen or work out in your favor.

Frustration is considered a secondary emotion of anger. Emotions tell us things about our situation, and anger typically means that action needs to be taken or something needs to be corrected. When things don’t go our way or the way that we expect, we get worked up, and when we’re worked up and have nowhere to put that energy, frustration builds and becomes repressed.

It’s easy for feelings of frustration to get the best of us, but therapists can help us develop healthier way to process and express those feelings. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

Here are ten tips for dealing with frustration in your life:

1. Get Active!

One of the most effective ways to mitigate frustration is to get active.1 Go for a run. Do yard work. Shoot hoops. Go for a swim. Do something to get your heart rate up and work out some of that energy. Not only is this healthy (unless you have a health condition that discourages exercise), but it can also get your mind off of frustration.

2. Write It Down

Write down what you’re dealing with and feeling. This is especially useful when you have no idea why you feel so worked up! Many times people find themselves experiencing emotional difficulty as a result of overlooked thoughts. It might be a build up of many seemingly inconsequential situations.

Writing down the situation and your physical and emotional experience of it can go a long way toward relieving feelings of frustration. Don’t stop at the surface, though. Process your thoughts with pen and paper.2,3

3. Talk With a Trusted Friend

Your friends can be a powerful support system, and relying on them to process with or vent to can help with frustration. Be mindful that not all friends are appropriate for this. Some people will simply agree with you and perpetuate feelings of frustration. While it’s nice to be validated, you’ll benefit more from someone who offers a unique, level-headed perspective.

4. Practice Meditation

There are many ways to meditate. Some people read religious texts, some seek to ground themselves with the earth, and others focus on their breathing. However you choose to practice, meditation has many benefits. Used as a tool to deal with stress and frustration, mediation allows you to re-center and avoid acting impulsively. Plus, it reduces physical symptoms of anger and frustration.4

5. Do Belly Breathing

Mindfulness is a type of meditation that focuses on the present moment and physical sensations to ground yourself to the here and now. Belly breathing is particularly helpful mindfulness practice.5

Start by getting into a relaxed, stable position, and slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus on only expanding your belly to breathe in and out for the first few breaths, keeping your chest still. It may help to put one hand on your belly and one on your chest. Later, integrate breathing with your chest after your belly. Fully inhale and exhale a few times.

6. Do Something That Brings You Joy

When frustration seems too intense to address directly, a distraction can help in the short term. Do something you enjoy, such as listening to music, watching a movie or tv show, or reading a book. This can help distance you from feelings of frustration, allowing you to come back to that situation later with a more level head.

Be careful though, because constantly distracting yourself from uncontrollable or uncomfortable situations creates a habit of avoidance, which can lead to negative outcomes.

7. Pet an Animal

Petting or playing with a furry friend can often alleviate immediate feelings of frustration. Interacting with animals decreases levels of cortisol (a stress-related hormone) and lowers blood pressure.6 So, spend some time with your dog, cat, lizard, etc., or find a friend with a pet to hang out with.

8. Look for Solutions

When frustration hits, our tendency can be to fixate on the unfairness or injustice of it all. It’s easy to stay angry and upset and wallow in frustration. Try reframing the situation as a learning experience or an opportunity to solve a problem. Instead of looking at the problem and its results, look for solutions.

You may find the reason why things didn’t work out, and learn better ways to succeed in the future. You may even find a way to remedy the situation you’re dealing with now.

9. Check in on Expectations (Are They Realistic?)

Sometimes things don’t go the way you thought they should. That doesn’t mean the world is working against you; it probably means your expectations were unrealistic. Checking on what unrealistic expectations you had in the first place can be one of the best ways to deal with frustration.

Look at a situation and ask yourself, “What can I reasonably expect to happen here?” For example, if a promotion opportunity comes up at work, you may want to base your expectations on your performance over the last year, overall experience, and education.

10. Talk to a Therapist

Therapy can be extremely beneficial when dealing with frustration. It can teach you effective coping skills and help you understand some of the underlying reasons for frustration, as well as why it can have such an impact on your life.

Many people who feel overwhelmed by, or unable to control, feelings of frustration wonder “do I really need therapy?” But therapy can lead to long-term beneficial changes that reduce frustration and other hang-ups. And most people benefit from working with a therapist, even if they don’t have a diagnosable mental illness, so the long-term benefits outweigh short-term financial costs.

It’s easy for feelings of frustration to get the best of us, but therapists can help us develop healthier way to process and express those feelings. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

How Therapy Can Help Someone Who Is Feeling Frustrated

Therapy not only helps you manage and overcome frustrations, it also helps you pinpoint the underlying reasons for them. Everyone can potentially benefit from therapy because it equips them with the tools needed to cope with uncomfortable feelings and promote well-being. If you’re ready to choose a therapist, start by browsing our directory.

Final Thoughts on Dealing With Frustration

Frustration can be difficult to cope with, but there are many positive ways to handle this emotion and move forward in life. Focus on the things that allow you to level your head and address the situation rationally. Of course, talk to a professional if frustration becomes overwhelming or happens more often than you would like.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for referrals by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp Online Therapy – BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Talkspace Online Therapy – Online therapy is convenient with Talkspace. Get therapy for as little as $69 per week, or potentially much less if you have insurance from Cigna, Optum, or UHR. Try Talkspace

Choosing Therapy’s Directory – Find an experienced therapist who is committed to your wellbeing. You can search for a therapist by specialty, availability, insurance, and affordability. Therapist profiles and introductory videos provide insight into the therapist’s personality so you find the right fit. Find a therapist today.

Mindfulness & Meditation App – Headspace is an easy way to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your routine. See for yourself how a few minutes each day can impact your stress levels, mood, and sleep. A monthly subscription for Headspace is only $12.99 per month and comes with a 7-day free trial. Try Headspace

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp, Talkspace, and Headspace

For Further Reading

  • Calm App
  • Headspace
  • Mental Health America
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth.gov

How to Deal With Frustration Infographics

How to Deal With Frustration What Causes Feelings of Frustration Tips for Dealing with Frustration

Tips for Dealing with Frustration 2 Ways to Cope with Feelings of Frustration How Therapy Can Help Manage and Overcome Frustrations

6 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Malmir, R., & Nedaee, T. (2019). The relationship between anger control and physical activity. Health, 21(4), 284-91. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/344569651_The_relationship_between_anger_control_and_physical_activity

  • Harvard Medical School. (October 11, 2011). Writing about emotions may ease stress and trauma. Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/writing-about-emotions-may-ease-stress-and-trauma

  • Pastore, C., 2020. Stress management in college students: Why journaling is the most effective technique for this demographic. SUNY College at New Paltz. Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/20.500.12648/1512

  • Fennell, A., Benau, E., & Atchley, R. (February 2016). A single session of meditation reduces of physiological indices of anger in both experienced and novice meditators. Consciousness and Cognition, Volume 40, 2016, Pages 54-66. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.concog.2015.12.010

  • Ma, X., Yue, Z. Q., Gong, Z. Q., Zhang, H., Duan, N. Y., Shi, Y. T., Wei, G. X., & Li, Y. F. (2017). The Effect of Diaphragmatic Breathing on Attention, Negative Affect and Stress in Healthy Adults. Frontiers in psychology, 8, 874. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00874

  • U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2020, April 6). The Power of Pets. National Institutes of Health. Retrieved from https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/power-pets

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Headshot of Robert Hinojosa, LCSW
Written by:

Robert Hinojosa

LCSW
Headshot of Trishanna Sookdeo, MD, MPH, FAAFP
Reviewed by:

Trishanna Sookdeo

MD, MPH, FAAFP
  • Get Active!1.
  • Write It Down2.
  • Talk With a Trusted Friend3.
  • Practice Meditation4.
  • Do Belly Breathing5.
  • Do Something That Brings You Joy6.
  • Pet an Animal7.
  • Look for Solutions8.
  • Check in on Expectations (Are They Realistic?)9.
  • Talk to a Therapist10.
  • How Therapy Can Help Someone Who Is Feeling FrustratedHow Therapy Can Help
  • Final Thoughts on Dealing With FrustrationConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • How to Deal With Frustration InfographicsInfographics
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