If you’re wondering whether you need therapy, you’re not alone. An estimated one in five Americans live with a mental health condition.1 But even without a diagnosis, many people experience stress, anxiety, or emotional struggles that affect daily life. Therapy offers a safe and non-judgmental space to talk through what you’re going through and can help you build coping skills and improve your overall well-being.
Would You Like to Try Therapy?
BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you.
25 Signs You Need Therapy
While we all face challenges in life, there are several signs that professional help may be needed. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or if your quality of life is impacted by your mental health, it may be time to consider finding a therapist. It is important to note that, although it can be stigmatized, there is no shame in asking for help from a therapist.1
Here are 25 signs that it may be time to see a therapist:
1. You Often Feel Overwhelmed
When you find yourself constantly questioning your life and struggle with finishing daily tasks at work or at home, seeking therapy is a good idea. Increased stress and feelings of being overwhelmed can be an indication of depression or anxiety—which can be treated and managed through therapy.
2. Depression or Anxiety Is Interfering With Your Quality of Life
Symptoms of depression and anxiety can include feeling hopeless, decreased motivation, increased isolation, decreased or increased appetite and difficulty sleeping.3
If your symptoms are impacting your ability to complete daily tasks in your house or at work, it’s time to make an appointment with a therapist. Additionally, another good course of action is to reach out to your primary care doctor to discuss any physical symptoms you may be having, or a psychiatrist to discuss medication options.
3. You Experienced Trauma
Experiencing trauma in the past or more recently can also be an indication that it’s time to get some professional assistance. After all, trauma from past relationships can have a significant impact on current and future relationships. While we can deal with trauma differently, processing complicated emotions and addressing feelings of guilt and shame can be empowering.
4. You’re Experiencing Increased Irritability in Your Relationships
Experiencing an abrupt change in relationship dynamics or struggles with communication can mean that it’s time to talk to a professional. Couples therapy has been shown to have a positive impact on the emotional well-being of both partners, and it can be a great way to learn some skills and techniques that will enhance your relationship.2 Relationships can be challenging, so having a neutral party present can help you process your feelings and communicate your needs to your family or your partner.
5. You’re Having Problems at Work
If your work life is getting worse or you are having issues with people at work, it is time to see a therapist. Work stressors can bleed into other areas of your life and cause significant mental (and even physical) symptoms. If you notice that your emotions are continuously negative and that getting work done is a struggle, a therapist can help.
6. You’re Eating or Sleeping More or Less Than Usual
If you find that your sleep habits and eating habits have changed, it can be a sign that your mental health is not doing well. Eating too much or too little can both be a stress response. Oversleeping can be a sign of depression and undersleeping can be a sign of anxiety. Whatever you’re dealing with, consider talking to a therapist.
7. You Feel Apathetic About Everything
Feeling apathetic from time to time is perfectly normal, especially if you’re in a tough season. However, if you feel this way all the time, you may be dealing with a lot of heavy emotions or trauma that is weighing on your heart and impacting your ability to function.
8. You’re Angry or Resentful
Feeling angry and frustrated is a typical feeling and OK to feel, but it’s not OK if your anger is spiraling out of control. If you find that your anger isn’t going away and it is turning into resentment, it’s important to talk to someone about it. Operating from a lens of anger leads you to do things you may later regret.
9. You’re Grieving a Loss
If you are grieving the death of a loved one and you are struggling several months after, it can be helpful to talk to a therapist. There are many bereavement therapists that can help you work through your loss and grief to help make sense and meaning of it.
10. You’re Coping By Using Alcohol or Drugs
If you find that you are relying on drugs and/or alcohol to regulate your mood and emotions, you may be becoming dependent on these substances. That can be a slippery slope to go down, so learning other ways of coping before a serious problem occurs can be a great benefit of therapy.
11. You’re Keeping Secrets
We all have secrets, but if you are keeping secrets from significant people in your life, or hiding information like your whereabouts or your phone, it can be a glaring red flag for others that something is going on. If you feel like you can’t share something with significant people in your life, it is important to talk to a therapist to work through what’s going on—or risk damaging those other significant relationships.
12. You’re Experiencing Ongoing Weariness
“Overwhelm, weariness, and excessive fury or anger may necessitate therapy. You may feel overwhelmed by tasks or concerns. You may be unable to sleep or even breathe. Stress and overwhelm can cause significant health issues. However, weariness often follows or arises from mental health concerns. Everyone gets irritated. Even a brief fury isn’t detrimental. Seeking support for these feelings can help if they persist, are out of proportion to the circumstances, or escalate to violent or possibly harmful behaviors.” – Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D.
13. You Find Yourself Isolating & Withdrawing Socially
“Are you avoiding social events and isolating yourself? If you’re stepping away from the places, activities, and people that you’ve always enjoyed, it could be worth considering trying therapy. It could be because you’ve just lost all interest. Or maybe you are having a hard time getting along with people. Perhaps you’re dealing with a lot of insecurity and it’s just too challenging to get too close to anyone. Most of us do our best with love and support, so if you’re pulling back, it is an important sign that something isn’t right. A therapist can work with you to overcome limiting beliefs, to adjust problematic thinking, or to help you learn better communication skills.” – Trish Glynn Carey, LMHC, CRC
14. You Feel Stuck or Have a Lack of Motivation
“Feeling like things are not changing and you are less active in your day can be a result of anxiety or mood changes. Seeking therapy can help you to start becoming more self-aware as to why this is happening and what is triggering these feelings. A therapist can encourage you to start identifying certain thoughts and behaviors that may be keeping you in this cycle. Working with a therapist can result in you improving your mood, reducing anxiety and finding new ways to navigate through any lack of motivation. You will start to feel better as you start to build a healthy foundation.” – Dr. Jaclyn Gulotta, PhD, LMHC
15. You’re Constantly Asking Friends & Family for Advice
“Your loved ones aren’t your therapists, nor should they be. Even your therapist family and friends, aren’t your therapists. This is a good thing—it allows us to keep the boundaries from getting messy and blurred. If you notice your friends and family have become your regular sounding board, it’s time to find a new sounding board. While it sometimes feels the most comfortable to talk to those we already know, it doesn’t mean it’s the most effective way to become unstuck. In fact, turning to particular people because they make us “feel better” may actually enable our symptoms and allow us to feel stuck longer.” – Jennifer Weaver-Breitenbecher MA, CAGS LMHC
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16. You’re Feeling Lost After a Big Life Change
“Life changes can be exciting, but they can also leave you feeling scared or unsure. Here are some potential times when it might be a good time to reach out to a therapist:
- You’ve just graduated college or moved out of the home
- You’re making a career change
- You feel like you don’t know what to do next
- You feel like you don’t know yourself or something is missing
- You realize who you thought you were before is not really who you are now” – Robert Hinojosa, LCSW
17. You Have a Problem That’s Causing You Shame or Embarrassment
“Does it cause you shame, and would you be embarrassed if others knew this was happening to you? Keeping things bottled up often just makes them worse. Therapy can be a great outlet and you don’t need to carry the burden alone. Therapists have heard just about everything so we’re hard to shock. And a therapist has taken an oath to keep conversations with you confidential. Further, a therapist has committed their life to helping and is trained to be non-judgmental. If you’re feeling weighed down by a dark secret then a therapist could be just the person you need.” – Trish Glynn Carey, LMHC, CRC
18. Your Relationship Is Struggling
“Are you fighting daily? Are fights leaving you hopeless? Do you find yourself yelling? You might be in a romantic relationship where you are in conflict, fighting, and it is feeling like you are not satisfied. Therapy can help couples in relationships learn how to communicate in healthy ways, learn how to share their feelings in a vulnerable manner, emotionally expressed, have a great sex life, and release patterns from childhood trauma that are holding them back. Relationship therapy can be a very positive space to build a meaningful connection that you have always wanted, while releasing challenges from the past related to trauma.” – Katie Ziskind, LMFT, owner of Wisdom Within Counseling
19. Your Baseline Behavior or Feelings Have Changed
“If you’re typically easy-going and find lately you’re irritable a good portion of the time, or you’re typically in a positive mood and find you’re struggling to see more than the negative lately, or your ‘normal’ is different than before—it’s time to go see a therapist and investigate why. Maybe you know the ‘why,’ but you could use some assistance in the “how” of getting back to your baseline.” – Jennifer Weaver-Breitenbecher MA, CAGS LMHC
20. You Have a Medical Issue or Chronic Pain
“If you’re dealing with a medical concern or you’re struggling with chronic pain, a therapist could be helpful to you. We often don’t think about a therapist when we are having physical symptoms, but mental and physical health are deeply interconnected. We can’t really tease them apart, and a concern with one inevitably impacts the other. If you’re dealing with a physical medical issue, that can greatly affect your mental well-being as it could result in additional stress or feelings of loss. In addition, we know that mental health concerns like anxiety, stress, and depression affect us physically.” – Trish Glynn Carey, LMHC, CRC
21. You’re Ruminating or Obsessing About Something
“If you are finding a large amount of your time is being consumed by a past event or interaction – this can include thinking/remembering while driving, increased dreams surrounding the event, discussing with friends & family, searching social media of others involved, etc. Any time you’re finding that you are consumed with a past event or interaction, that’s your brain’s way of telling you it’s trying to process something – and when it continues for awhile, that’s your brain’s way of signaling that maybe you aren’t processing it so well on your own.” – Jennifer Weaver-Breitenbecher MA, CAGS LMHC
22. You Want to Invest in Your Mental Health
“To be clear, individuals do not NEED to have anything ‘wrong’ with them to attend them. Insurance companies require a diagnosis for reimbursement, but I also see plenty of individuals who cover the cost of couples counseling out of pocket because mental health is something that is important to them and something they want to invest their time, energy, and money into.” – Dr. Nicole Lacherza-Drew, Psy.D.
23. Your Usual Coping Strategies Are Having Painful or Undesired Consequences
“Sometimes coping strategies that alleviate discomfort in the short-term have painful or undesired long-term consequences. For example, let’s say you have social anxiety. To avoid this uncomfortable feeling, you may avoid social settings. In the short-term, this strategy may seem successful. In the long-term, it may reinforce your belief that social settings are threatening and lead to increased isolation. You may find yourself wishing that you could have more meaningful relationships, but you just don’t know how to get there. Working with a licensed mental health professional can help you develop new strategies to manage uncomfortable emotions so that they don’t interfere with your ability to pursue experiences that are important to you.” – Kayti McDaniel, LCSW
24. You Need a Neutral Person to Get Something Off Your Chest
“There are many times when you experience something and would like to speak to someone about it. It could be to complain about an issue you are having with your boss or to celebrate a boundary you recently established with your overbearing mother-in-law. You don’t necessarily want to burden our friends/family or feel as though it is their role to listen to you vent. You simply want our thoughts and feelings to be heard and validated. This is when therapy may be an appropriate place for you. You can talk about whatever you want for however long you want without having to worry about your audience’s opinions or reaction.” – Erica Cramer, LCSW, therapist at Cobb Psychotherapy
25. You Think You Should!
“If you’re having the thought, ‘should I see a therapist?’ That alone tells me things aren’t feeling okay for you. So yes, perhaps talking with a neutral, qualified professional could be beneficial. Our friends and family, while perhaps well-meaning, aren’t always the best ones to talk to about our troubles. This is because it’s much harder for them to be truly objective since they know you personally. Also, they may have an unconscious bias or their own personal agenda. If you have nobody you feel you can safely talk with and/or you’re thinking therapy might help, then it’s worth exploring. Even if you’re not sure what you would talk about in therapy, a therapist’s job is to ask you the right questions to process how you’re feeling. You’re not required to remain in therapy if you decide it’s not a good fit, so you really don’t have much to lose by exploring the option.” – Trish Glynn Carey, LMHC, CRC
What Are the Benefits of Seeing a Therapist?
Seeing a therapist is an important part of dealing with mental health issues and there are many benefits of seeing a therapist. The benefits of therapy are numerous and the effectiveness of therapy is well-documented. Mental health can greatly impact physical health, so a primary care doctor may also refer you to a therapist if/when you have chronic illness or present with physical symptoms.
Benefits of having a therapist include:
- Hearing from an individual that has an unbiased perspective
- The opportunity to process previous experiences and past traumas in a healthy way
- Learning healthy ways and coping skills to manage stress, depression and anxiety.
- Increasing your confidence and developing a healthy self-image and self-esteem.
What Type of Therapy Do I Need?
There are several types of mental health professionals that you can see for therapy. With the exception of psychiatrists that have a medical degree, mental health professionals have a master’s degree or higher in their field. They have completed several thousand hours of supervised work experience after graduate school and have passed a national certification exam. It’s important to keep in mind that different types of therapy can help with different needs.
Different types of mental health professionals can help with different concerns:
- Psychologist: Psychologists can administer standardized tests that can confirm a diagnosis of a learning disorder, autism, or other mental health disorders.4A psychologist can be a great resource if you are looking for confirmation and treatment of a diagnosis that requires extensive testing.
- Psychiatrist: Psychiatrists specialize in disorders of the brain and while many of them don’t actively provide therapy services, there are some that do. A psychiatrist typically provides medication evaluations and prescribes medications for mental illness. If your mental health symptoms are interfering with your quality of life and daily tasks, a psychiatrist can be a great resource to help you find a medication regimen that works for you and your needs.
- Counselor: Counselors work with individuals of all ages and can have various areas of specialty. A counselor may be a good fit for your needs if you want to work through childhood trauma and increase your self-awareness and self-confidence.
- Clinical Social Worker: Social Workers are skilled in evaluating and treating individuals within the context of their environment and social supports. A clinical social worker may be a good fit for you if you’re experiencing life challenges that involve friends, work, school and other systems.
- Marriage and Family Therapist: Marriage and Family Therapists specialize in family and couple systems and are specifically trained in working with individuals who are having relational challenges.5 If you’re experiencing family discord or difficulty in your relationship with your partner, then a marriage and family therapist may be a good fit for you.
What If I’ve Tried Therapy Before & It Didn’t Work?
Therapy is not a magic wand or an easy fix to all your problems. It requires intention, dedication and perseverance to become a better version of yourself. There can be situations where a therapist does not specialize in the area that you have come to therapy for and may need to refer you to another provider.6
Many times people go to therapy and have unrealistic expectations of what the process entails. A therapist can offer new perspectives and stress management strategies, but making changes is ultimately up to you.
You can have all the resources and support in the world, but change begins within and some people are in therapy, but they don’t have any desire to change or grow. Therapy may feel uncomfortable because you’re being challenged, but you should never feel like you’re emotionally unsafe or that you are being emotionally attacked.
How to Find the Right Therapist
Finding the right therapist is a key step in getting the support you need. Here are some helpful tips to guide your search:
- Look for someone you trust. Choose a therapist who is empathetic, culturally sensitive, and willing to gently challenge you when needed.
- Use an online therapist directory. Online therapist directories let you filter therapists by location, specialty, insurance, and more.
- Explore virtual therapy platforms. Online therapy services like Brightside Health or BetterHelp connect you with licensed professionals for virtual sessions via video, phone, or chat—making therapy more convenient and accessible.
- Check with your insurance provider. Contact your insurance company for a list of in-network therapists to help keep therapy affordable.
- Schedule a free consultation. Many therapists offer a brief introductory call where you can ask about their specialties and therapeutic approach, confirm insurance coverage and fees, and see if you feel comfortable talking with them.
- Be clear about your needs. When reaching out, share what you’re looking to address and ask how the therapist would help you work through it.
- Speak up if it’s not a good fit. If therapy doesn’t feel effective, let your therapist know. A good provider will adjust their approach or help you find someone better suited to your needs.
Find the Perfect Therapist for You, with BetterHelp.
If you don’t click with your first match, you can easily switch therapists. BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you.
ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
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The National Institute of Mental Health. (2021). Mental Illness. Retrieved from National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/mental-illness.shtml
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Hewison, D., Casey, P., & Mwamba, N. (2016). The Effectiveness of Couples Therapy: Clinical Outcomes in a Naturalistic United Kingdom Setting. Psychotherapy, 377-387.
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Harvard Health Publishing. (2021, February 15). Are You Missing These Signs of Anxiety or Depression? Retrieved from Harvard Medical School: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/are-you-missing-these-signs-of-anxiety-or-depression
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Grohol, J. (2016, May). Distinction Between Therapist Degrees. Retrieved from PsychCentral: https://psychcentral.com/lib/distinctions-between-therapist-degrees
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American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. (2021). What is Marriage and Family Therapy? Retrieved from American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy: https://www.aamft.org/About_AAMFT/About_Marriage_and_Family_Therapists.aspx
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Arlock, K. (2018, June 3). Eight Reasons Why Therapy May Not Work for Everyone. Retrieved from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/06/03/eight-reasons-why-therapy-might-not-work-for-everyone/
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Dew-Reeves, S., & Bickman, L. (2005). Client Expectancies about Therapy. Mental Health Services Research, 21-33.
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Salaky, K. (2017, November 6). 9 Reasons Why You Can Benefit from Therapy–Even if You Don’t Have a Mental Illness. Retrieved from Insider: https://www.insider.com/can-i-go-to-therapy-if-im-not-depressed-2017-11
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Mayo Clinic Staff. (2021). Mental Health: Overcoming the Stigma of Mental Illness. Retrieved from Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health/art-20046477
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Committee on the Qualifications of Professionals Providing Mental Health Counseling Services Under TRICARE. (2010). Provision of Mental Health Counseling Services Under TRICARE. Washington D.C.: National Academies Press.
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Brandman University. (2019, April 11). LCSW vs. MSW: Comparing Social Work Credentials. Retrieved from Brandman University: https://www.brandman.edu/news-and-events/blog/lcsw-vs-msw-comparing-social-work-credentials
We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.
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Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Added How to Start Therapy worksheets.
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Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Added seven new signs to “25 Signs That It’s Time to Consider Therapy.” New material written by Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C and reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD.
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Primary Changes: Updated for Readability; Added 14 new signs to “17 Signs That It’s Time to Consider Therapy.” New material reviewed by Dena Westphalen, PharmD.
Author: Alisha Powell, PhD, LCSW
Reviewer: Dena Westphalen, PharmD
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Best Online Therapy Services
There are a number of factors to consider when trying to determine which online therapy platform is going to be the best fit for you. It’s important to be mindful of what each platform costs, the services they provide you with, their providers’ training and level of expertise, and several other important criteria.
Best Online Psychiatry Services
Online psychiatry, sometimes called telepsychiatry, platforms offer medication management by phone, video, or secure messaging for a variety of mental health conditions. In some cases, online psychiatry may be more affordable than seeing an in-person provider. Mental health treatment has expanded to include many online psychiatry and therapy services. With so many choices, it can feel overwhelming to find the one that is right for you.