How to Choose a Therapist, Counselor, & Psychologist

When to Consider Therapy

Therapy is for everyone who wants to do the work it takes to get out of and through a tough situation. When you’re starting to feel like you’re unsure of your next move or what to do, or even confused and overwhelmed about how you feel, consider trying therapy. Many people consider therapy when they are in a panic or crisis, but you don’t have to be at rock bottom to get a lot out of therapy. If you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, relationship issues, family issues, couples issues, mood and stress concerns, or any kind of life transition, talking with a therapist can really help you.

6 Tips for Choosing a Mental Health Professional

Choosing the right therapist or counselor is a deeply personal decision, and finding a professional who fits your needs can make all the difference in your mental health journey. The following tips will guide you through the process, helping you identify what to look for and how to make an informed choice.

1. Clarify Your Needs

The first step for choosing a mental health professional is identifying your specific needs. Why are you seeking care, and what are you hoping to work on in treatment? What goals feel most important to you right now? If you’ve had previous experience in therapy, what did you find helpful, and what did not help you? All providers have different specialties and focus areas, so answering these questions will help you narrow down your options.

2. Ensure They Have the Right Experience

While most therapists see a variety of clients for various reasons, many specialize in certain areas. For example, some focus on depression, anxiety, or other specific challenges, and some mental health providers work with a particular age group.

All therapists undergo advanced training in mental health and treatment strategies, but many focus their expertise on specific areas or populations. Through additional training and certifications, they refine their skills to better address the unique needs of their clients. When choosing a therapist, look for one with specialized experience in your concerns or demographic. This expertise increases their ability to understand your challenges and provide personalized care that fosters growth and recovery.

3. Consider the Type of Therapy

Understanding the different approaches to therapy can help you find a therapist whose methods align with your needs. Some therapies focus on changing thought patterns, while others dive into emotions or behaviors.¹

Some examples of common types of therapy include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a helpful approach that focuses on teaching people to identify and change unhelpful, negative thought patterns.
• Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy focuses on understanding how your past affects you now—perfect if you’re looking for deeper emotional insight.
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT is useful for managing emotions and distress and involves skills training for effective problem-solving and action.
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR is commonly used for trauma and PTSD to process distressing memories.
• Exposure therapy: Exposure therapy helps people address and reduce anxiety and phobias.
• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): In ACT, the emphasis is on attitudes and behaviors toward value-driven goals.
• Person-centered therapy: In person-centered or client-centered therapy, the therapist’s primary role isn’t to teach skills but instead to listen to the client and engage in discussion that helps the client discover how to move forward.

When you’re choosing a therapist, ask about their approach and how they’d apply it to your situation. If you’re looking for hands-on tools to manage anxiety, a CBT-trained therapist might feel like a good fit. But if you’re curious about exploring how past experiences shape your present, a psychodynamic approach might click more.

4. Consider Practical Factors

Practical considerations like cost, insurance coverage, office location and scheduling flexibility are important when selecting a therapist.

Cost of Therapy

Therapy should enhance your well-being, not add financial strain. When evaluating the cost, think about it as an investment in your mental health and overall quality of life. Ask yourself: Is prioritizing therapy worth adjusting your spending in other areas?

Therapy is a valuable investment in your mental health and quality of life, but it’s essential to ensure it doesn’t create financial strain. When weighing the cost of therapy, think about the long-term benefits of improving your well-being. Ask yourself: Is prioritizing therapy worth making adjustments in other areas of your budget?

Being upfront about costs is an important part of finding the right therapist. Don’t hesitate to ask questions about fees and coverage to make an informed decision. Consider the following:

• Session fees: Many therapists charge per 50-minute session, so ask about their rates early on.
• Insurance coverage: Confirm whether the therapist accepts your insurance. Check with your provider or review the list of approved therapists on their website.
• Out-of-pocket expenses: Find out what portion of the fees your insurance will cover and what you’ll need to pay.
• Sliding Scale Fees: Some therapists offer sliding scale fees based on your income. If cost is a concern, ask if this is an option.
• Session limits: If your insurance restricts the number of sessions it will cover, ask the therapist if they can create a short-term plan or discuss options for continuing therapy beyond what’s covered.

Location & Scheduling

In terms of location and scheduling flexibility, the therapist you choose must see clients at the times when you’re available, and it’s helpful if their office is in a convenient location. However, don’t settle for any therapist just because they have a convenient location. It might be worth adjusting your schedule, driving a bit out of the way, or using an online therapy platform if it means working with a therapist you trust and who helps you move forward.

Many therapists and counselors now offer online therapy where therapist and client meet in a HIPAA compliant video chat (similar to doing a call on FaceTime or Skype, but more secure). Video therapy can make scheduling a session more convenient because it eliminates the need for anyone to commute. Studies are showing that online therapy and in-person therapy are essentially equal in effectiveness.

5. Consider Personal Preferences

The best healing happens when you feel a genuine connection with your therapist. Personal preferences, such as shared identity or cultural understanding, can play a significant role in creating that connection. For some, it’s important to work with a therapist who shares or deeply understands their identity. For example, those who identify as LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, or Latinx may feel more at ease with a therapist familiar with the specific challenges their communities face. Others may prioritize finding a therapist who works with specific age groups, such as young adults or seniors.

6. Ensure You Feel Comfortable

Finding someone that you click with is perhaps the most crucial aspect to finding a therapist who will work well for you. Hundreds of studies show that a strong relationship between therapist and client is crucial for the success of therapy.³

A positive, supportive relationship is based on several factors, including:

• Personalities: A positive connection (but not a friendship) with your therapist is vital. This is often referred to as a sense of rapport.²
• Trust: You should trust your therapist enough to discuss your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, even when they’re scary or uncomfortable.⁴
• Authenticity: A good therapist is honest and genuine, demonstrating knowledge but omitting jargon (appearing as an expert but not as a know-it-all).⁵
• Unconditional positive regard: A therapist worthy of your choice values you and believes in your ability to progress (rather than viewing you as broken or dependent).
• Positive communication: Therapists should communicate openly and warmly even when pointing out areas for your growth.

Additional Tips for Choosing a Therapist

Finding the right therapist often requires a bit of research and outreach, but taking these extra steps can help ensure a better fit.

Get Recommendations

Word-of-mouth opinions matter for all industries, and the mental health profession is no exception. In general, high-quality therapists tend to have excellent reputations within their local communities. Therefore, it may be helpful to connect with your primary care physician or other trusted healthcare professionals to see if they have any recommendations. While you may want to ask friends about their own experiences in therapy, keep in mind some therapists will not work with friends of clients, as this can be a potential conflict of interest.

Review the Therapist’s Profile or Website

Before contacting a therapist, spend some time reviewing their profile or website. Many therapists or mental health centers provide professional details online, including credentials, areas of expertise, and whether they offer in-person or online sessions. An online therapist directory is also a great resource, often featuring photos, bios, and even video introductions to help you get a feel for potential therapists.

Start by checking their credentials to ensure they are properly licensed and qualified. These details confirm they are a trained mental health professional, not just someone offering general advice. Next, read their bio to learn about their areas of expertise. Some therapists focus on specific challenges, like anxiety, relationships, or trauma, while others take a broader approach to mental health. Understanding their background can help you determine if they’re a good fit for your needs.

Do a Phone Consultation & Ask Specific Questions

While a therapist’s profile will help you glean basic information, you won’t learn the most important component—the chemistry between the two of you—until you talk with the therapist on the phone or in person. Many people are hesitant to call a therapist’s office and ask questions about the process or the therapist, but it’s perfectly normal to do so. Therapists expect people to be unsure about many things, and they welcome inquiries.

To make a call less intimidating and ensure you remember to gather the information you need, prepare a list ahead of time. Here are some questions to ask on a phone consultation with a potential new therapist:^{2, 3, 6}

• What are your fees?
• Do you accept my insurance? (Have your insurance card handy)
• What do your credentials mean for me?
• Do you have experience working with people who have concerns like mine?
• How do you approach helping people?
• Do you make treatment plans? If so, will you share mine with me?
• How do the sessions work with you? (How long is each appointment? What will we do?)
• How long might I be working with you? (How many sessions do people have with you?)

If you have a positive conversation, feel that the therapist is open and easy to talk to, and the rates are affordable for you, it’s time to prepare for your first therapy session – it can be helpful to write out a list of the concerns you know you want to cover right away.

What to Consider During Your First Therapy Appointment

Your first appointment is an opportunity to meet a therapist in person (or online) and determine if they are someone you’d feel comfortable working with. The connection between you and your therapist starts to form right away, though it’s normal to feel a little unsure during the first few sessions. Notice if your therapist makes you feel welcome and at ease. Do you feel they could be someone you’d trust with your deepest thoughts and feelings?

Watch for these qualities in a therapist during your first appointment:

• They are easy to talk to
• They let you know both verbally and non-verbally (with gestures, expressions, posture, and tone of voice) that they aren’t judging you negatively but are open to your experiences
• They make a point of discussing confidentiality so you know what will be kept private and anything that might be shared—and why it would be shared
• They are kind but don’t seem to want to be your casual friend
• They act as if the two of you are a team (the therapist indicates that they have insights to help you but doesn’t act condescending or like a know-it-all)

You will not leave your first appointment feeling “cured.” However, you should have a feeling of realistic hope by the end of your first appointment. If you have a positive first session, make a few more appointments.

How Long Should I Work With a Therapist Before Deciding If They’re The Right Fit?

Like any relationship, it can take time to discern a sense of safety and connection with your therapist. You may feel nervous at first, causing you to be more guarded. Or, you might worry about being judged. All of these are normal experiences, and any qualified therapist is well-versed in understanding the importance of safely building rapport. In general, however, you should start feeling like things are on the right path within the first few sessions.

With that, you should have a sense of hope that this therapist is competent to help you, and you should also feel like they exude compassion and curiosity about your well-being. Although there isn’t a hard number, it’s often recommended to try at least 3-4 sessions with one provider before moving on. This gives you enough time to understand their approach and for them to move beyond preliminary assessments.

Here are some signs you should stay:

• You feel like your needs and feelings are appropriately validated
• You are continuously strengthening your insight
• You feel like your therapist has your back and cares about you as a person
• You are learning new ways to cope with difficult emotions or unmet needs
• You feel like you are continuing to progress and grow in areas that are important to you
• You feel safe if you’re struggling with a regression, relapse, or setback
• You are able to apply concepts you’re learning in therapy in your daily life
• You are continuing to struggle with your life and benefit from having a source of ongoing support

Here are some signs you should move on:

• You don’t feel genuinely heard or cared for by your therapist
• You feel like treatment is stagnant or even going backward
• Your therapist is engaging in questionable or even unethical practices
• You find yourself dreading therapy, cancelling often, or feeling checked out during sessions
• You don’t like your therapist or don’t feel like you have connected well despite giving it ample time
• You aren’t really addressing your main treatment goals
• You keep sensing that someone else may be better suited to support your needs

How Will I Know Therapy Is Working?

You will know therapy is working if you are able to accomplish some of your goals outside of therapy. For example, if you had a goal of setting better boundaries, you would be able to do that with a friend or coworker and not feel as guilty in doing so. It doesn’t mean that the guilt will not exist, but how you respond to the emotions you are working on, for example, is where you can learn if therapy is working.

Or, perhaps you’re working on not catastrophizing when you feel anxious. If you can implement the skills, techniques, and positive self-talk you’ve worked on with your therapist during a time when you would normally spiral out of control, that’s a sign that you are making progress.

What If We’re Not a Good Match?

If you find yourself thinking, “I really don’t like my therapist,” it might be a sign that this isn’t the right fit. It’s important to remember that therapists are professionals and understand that not every client-therapist relationship will work out. It’s okay to “break up” with your therapist if you feel they aren’t the right match for your needs. You’re not hurting their feelings—they want you to find the support that’s best for you.

If you decide to move on, you can simply explain that you’re looking for a different approach or a better fit. Many therapists will even help you transition by recommending another professional. Taking this step is part of advocating for yourself and prioritizing your mental health. Finding the right therapist is like finding the right teammate—it’s worth taking the time to get it right.