Watching porn can be a fine and healthy activity when done appropriately and in moderation. However, it becomes a problem when it starts negatively affecting other aspects of your life, such as your relationships, self-esteem, productivity, or mental health. Fortunately, there are effective ways to quit porn and regain control.
You can take practical steps like installing a porn blocker to reduce temptation and joining a 12-step group for structured support. Prioritizing your values—such as maintaining meaningful relationships or focusing on personal growth—can also help you stay motivated. Most importantly, how you view yourself may be the strongest tool you have to quit for good. Practicing self-compassion can reinforce your belief in your ability to make changes.
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7 Steps to Stop Watching Porn
If you’re looking to stop watching porn, there are effective techniques that can help. Whether you’re dealing with an addiction or simply feeling its negative effects, change is possible. It is important to remember that starting small makes all the difference. For example, if watching porn is part of your daily routine, begin by reducing it to every other day. Gradually increasing the time between views can help you gain confidence and build momentum. Small steps like this make it easier to stay consistent, which is key for long-term success.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to reducing or quitting porn use:
Step 1: Explore Why You Want to Quit
One of the most powerful ways to stay committed to a goal is to understand why you want to achieve it. Quitting porn for good is about choosing the longer-term image of who you want to be rather than giving into the automatic, habitual, and impulsive short-term cravings. It means slowing down to feel your emotions rather than running away.
Write Down Your Reasons
Start by writing down your reasons for wanting to stop watching porn. Be honest and clear about what motivates you, as this will be the foundation of your commitment and the fuel that keeps you going when things feel challenging. Consider these questions to help get started:
Consider these questions to help get started:
- What do you like about watching porn that keeps you coming back to it?
- What are the ways that porn is negatively impacting my life?
- If I could wave a magic wand to make it happen, what would I ideally like my life to look like?
- What are the things I miss out on because of watching porn?
Remember the Negative Impact of Porn
Identifying the negative effects of porn can be a powerful step toward change. Porn can affect your sex drive, your relationships—especially if your partner feels hurt by it or considers it a form of betrayal—your work, and even your self-esteem. Recognizing these impacts and comparing them to the positives of quitting can help you decide if now’s the right time to make a change.1
What Are the Negative Impacts of Watching Porn?
- Decreased sexual satisfaction: Over time, porn use can reduce natural arousal, making real-life intimacy feel less exciting or fulfilling.
- Erectile dysfunction: Frequent porn use has been linked to an increase in erectile dysfunction, especially when trying to engage in physical intimacy.
- Performance anxiety: Watching porn can create unrealistic expectations, leading to anxiety about sexual performance in real-life situations.
- Reduced desire for sex: The more porn is consumed, the less desire there may be for real-life sexual experiences.
- “Supernormal stimulus” effect: Porn can become a heightened form of stimulation, eventually requiring more extreme content to feel the same excitement, making natural sexual experiences feel less stimulating.
- Obsessive thoughts and urges: Preoccupation with porn can lead to more frequent urges, creating a cycle of dependency.
- Lowered self-esteem: When porn use doesn’t align with personal values, it can lead to guilt and a loss of self-worth.
- Loss of interest in hobbies and activities: Activities that once brought joy may seem less appealing, as more time and energy are directed toward watching porn.
Step 2: Build a Supportive Recovery Environment
Like any addiction, porn addiction thrives in shame and habits. It is critically important to set your environment up to aid in recovery – if you are surrounded by temptations and reminders of porn, you are far more likely to struggle and re-engage with it. In addition to changing your environment, finding people who understand and will support you as you work toward recovery is important.
Install a Porn Blocker
Setting up a porn blocker on your devices can add a useful barrier—or at least a few extra steps—when urges hit. The great thing about a blocker is that it gives you a moment to pause and rethink, letting you focus on your values instead of the craving. This simple tool can help you stay committed to your goal of cutting back or even quitting porn entirely.2
Clean Up Your Social Media
Mindlessly scrolling social media increases your chances of consuming triggering content without you even realizing it. You can change this by unfollowing accounts that contain triggering content, by setting a manual filter for words and phrases you don’t want to see, or by setting a “spotlight” to filter out specific hashtags or keywords. It can also be helpful to build a habit of “hiding” triggering posts that are suggested on your timeline.
Remove Any Physical Evidence
Physical items in your environment can act as a reminder to engage with porn. Getting rid of these items or putting them out of sight can slow down or de-incentivize the process enough for you to make a different choice. Examples of triggering physical porn objects include magazines, websites, bookmarks, and favorites on your phone or computer. Other items to consider include things that you use during or after watching porn, such as lube or towels.
Tell Someone About Your Problems
Behavior addictions thrive in secrecy and shame. When you share your struggles with a supportive friend or family member, the feedback that you are still loved and supported despite your struggle loosens the grip shame has on you. This support can make it less likely that you will turn to porn in order to cope or distract yourself from the shame. This same supportive person can also provide accountability and encouragement if you feel you need it.
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Step 3: Be Aware of Your Triggers & Plan Ahead
Quitting porn starts with self-awareness. It’s important to study yourself and get familiar with the situations, thoughts, or emotions that trigger the urge to watch. Whether it’s stress, boredom, loneliness, or even specific places or times, understanding what sets off your urges can help you stay one step ahead. Triggers are personal and unique, so paying attention to patterns in your thoughts and habits can reveal valuable insights about when you’re most vulnerable.
Once you know what prompts these urges, you can start creating strategies to manage them without giving in. Like most things, failing to plan is planning to fail when quitting porn. Planning allows you to play the part of your “ideal self,” even when faced with the urge to watch. Yes, the urge will come, but an urge is not a relapse. We are hardwired to crave comfort, so urges are your body’s way of steering you back into your safe zone.
Develop Healthy Coping Strategies for Urges
Willpower alone is not an effective way to quit porn. When urges come up, having these healthy alternatives can redirect your focus and energy.
Here are some coping strategies to try when experiencing an urge to watch porn:
- Enlist the help of a loved one you can text or call for encouragement when you have an urge.
- Channel your urge into a healthy alternative, such as deep breathing or going for a walk.
- Remind yourself that the urge will pass.
- Have a mantra that includes your “why” for quitting porn to help you resist.
- Replace watching porn with a neutral alternative, such as watching funny videos instead.
Change Your Surroundings
Our minds are highly influenced by our environments, which you can use to manage your urge responses. Changing your environment in the moment can help shake you out of your usual urge-response routine, such as by walking to another room or going for a walk when you notice an urge. A bigger environmental change can also make a difference, such as moving to a new place where you do not have habits built related to urges.
Step 4: Focus on Building Positive Lifestyle Habits
Replacements are essential for long-term success in creating a porn-free life. New hobbies, meetup groups, and pre-planned back-up strategies are meaningful components of the journey to recovery. Volunteering is also a great strategy to occupy your time in a rewarding and productive way.
Develop a Night Time Routine
Building a calming nighttime routine can help manage late night urges and get better sleep, which also helps manage urges during daytime hours. Including elements that relax your body is helpful – such as a warm shower or deep breathing. Elements that hold your attention in a neutral way are also important, such as reading a book or listening to a sleep story. The key is consistency, so start your routine at the same time every night to get to bed on time.
Engage in Physical Activity
Physical activity has a powerful effect on the brain’s reward system, boosting overall well-being and reducing impulsive urges. Exercise is well-known for its benefits to both physical and mental health, helping to regulate the brain’s response to rewards. By engaging in regular physical activity, you can naturally support impulse control and reduce dependency on habits like internet or porn use.3, 4
Begin a Daily Mindfulness Practice
Mindfulness teaches you how to step back from your thoughts and emotions, letting you observe them without immediately reacting. This skill is especially valuable in the early stages of quitting, when urges, self-doubt, and fluctuating emotions tend to show up most intensely. By practicing mindfulness, you’re training yourself to stay grounded and calm, even in the face of strong urges.
Step 5: Seek Professional Support
Working with a therapist and attending group therapy can help in a variety of ways. They can give you a space to process things free from judgment and shame, as well as an objective perspective to reflect pieces of your experience that you may not have noticed as significant on your own. They can provide validation for your struggles, encouragement if you give into urges, as well as remind you why you are wanting to make these changes.
To find support, consider using an online therapist directory to locate a professional who specializes in issues like addiction, relationships, or self-improvement. Many online therapy services, such as Online-Therapy.com, offer accessible options for individual and group therapy. These platforms make it easier to find the right support to guide you on your journey toward healthier habits and relationships.
Try ACT Therapy
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a powerful approach that encourages you to accept thoughts and urges without letting them dictate your actions.5 Instead of battling or avoiding your urges, ACT teaches you to observe them without judgment, helping you develop a healthier relationship with your inner experiences. By learning to stop avoiding or suppressing thoughts, you create space to align your actions with your deeper values and long-term goals.
ACT is one of the few evidence-based therapies shown to effectively reduce problematic pornography use. Research has found that after just 12 sessions, participants using ACT reduced their porn consumption by over 90%. This approach offers a supportive framework for anyone seeking lasting change, focusing on acceptance and committed action over willpower alone.6
Join a 12-Step Group
Admitting to a struggle with pornography can sometimes bring judgment from others, which makes finding a safe, supportive environment crucial. A 12-step group offers a judgment-free space where you can openly discuss your experiences and challenges, surrounded by people who understand. Many individuals find that this supportive community is essential for overcoming addiction, as it provides both accountability and encouragement.2
Consider Couples Therapy
If you are in a relationship and your partner has expressed being negatively impacted by your consumption of porn, couples therapy could be helpful in addressing the negative impacts on your relationship. Many online therapy services, such as Regain or Talkspace, offer specialized couples therapy that can help you address these challenges. Couples therapy can help you to take accountability for the ways your behavior has impacted your partner and relationship, work to rebuild trust, and to improve communication with your partner. It can also help your partner understand how to support you as you begin implementing changes.
Step 6: Nurture Your Sex Life
Porn most often does not depict realistic or healthy interactions, and this can make sex in your life feel less stimulating. Nurturing your sex life away from porn is critical to reconnect with yourself or a partner in healthy ways and reduce your consumption of porn. You can do this on your own by exploring things that excite you and sensations you like without porn involved. You can do these things with a partner as well, but you can also explore building emotional intimacy and sexual interaction dynamics that excite you with a partner.
Step 7: Learn to Deal With Setbacks
Unfortunately, it is unlikely that you are going to be able to change your behaviors perfectly the first time you try. This makes it crucial to learn how to deal with setbacks when you inevitably give in to urges that come up. Approaching setbacks with self-compassion is the most important habit you can build so that your setbacks have a chance to become a learning opportunity instead of a dysregulating experience.
Would You Like Help Breaking Your Porn Addiction?
Is porn addiction negatively impacting your life and relationships? A therapist can help you break unhealthy habits and form healthier ones. BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. Take a free assessment
In My Experience
Frequently Asked Questions
When Does Watching Porn Become a Problem?
Porn may be bad for you if you feel shame and cannot fulfill your primary roles and responsibilities due to your porn-watching habits. Watching porn can be normal behavior but becomes problematic when it takes over other aspects of your life.
Signs of problematic porn-watching include:7
- Using porn as a coping skill for underlying anxiety or depression
- Experiencing a decrease in relationship and sexual satisfaction
- Avoiding physical and emotional intimacy with your partner
- Continuing to watch pornography despite adverse consequences (i.e., relationship discord, potential ending of a relationship)
- Disengaging from social activities due to prioritizing porn use
- Watching it during work hours despite the risks involved
- Prioritizing pornography over sex with a partner
When Is Watching Porn Not Problematic?
Like most things, moderation is key when debating whether or not porn is problematic. Moderate porn-watching can help to relieve stress, enhance sex life, and provide a temporary distraction when feeling overwhelmed.8
World-renowned researchers and clinical psychologists John and Julie Gottman have found pornography can help couples discuss sex more openly and improve their sex lives. However, excessive use may mean one has to watch porn to become sexually aroused or achieve orgasm.8
Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
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Hald, G. M., & Malamuth, N. M. (2007). Self-Perceived Effects of Pornography Consumption. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 37(4), 614–625. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-007-9212-1
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American Addiction Centers Editorial Staff. (2023, February 15). Sexaholics Anonymous 12-Step Recovery | Recovery.org. Recovery.org. https://recovery.org/support-groups/sexaholics-anonymous/
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Mandolesi, L., Polverino, A., Montuori, S., Foti, F., Ferraioli, G., Sorrentino, P., & Sorrentino, G. (2018). Effects of physical exercise on cognitive functioning and wellbeing: Biological and psychological benefits. Frontiers in Psychology, 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00509
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Li, S., et al. (2020). Exercise-Based Interventions for Internet Addiction: Neurobiological and neuropsychological evidence. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01296
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Twohig, M. P., & Crosby, J. M. (2010). Acceptance and Commitment therapy as a treatment for problematic internet pornography viewing. Behavior Therapy, 41(3), 285–295. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2009.06.002
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Oke, A. E. (2023). The tower: An ACT-based product system that helps porn addicts eliminate shame and develop healthier habits aligned with their core values. Rochester Institute of Technology.
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Weir, K. (n.d.). Is pornography addictive? https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/04/pornography
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Gottman, J. (2024, June 25). An open letter on porn. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-open-letter-on-porn/
We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.
Author: Nicole Kleiman-Reck, MA, LMHC (No Change)
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD (No Change)
Primary Changes: Revised section titled “7 Steps to Stop Watching Porn.” New content written by Maggie Holland, MA, MHP, LMHC, and medically reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD. Fact-checked and edited for improved readability and clarity.
Author: Nicole Kleiman-Reck, MA, LMHC (No Change)
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD (No Change)
Primary Changes: Fact-checked and edited for improved readability and clarity.
Author: Nicole Kleiman-Reck, MA, LMHC
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD
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