Is it possible to be addicted to porn? Officially speaking, the jury is still out, but one thing is for sure: a growing number of people believe they are addicted to porn and their experiences are very similar to those of people addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Healthy vs Unhealthy Sexual Behavior
Pornography use, like other types of sexual behavior, often gets tangled in moral debates about whether it is right or wrong. From a mental health standpoint, the question is not whether porn is morally wrong but whether it can become pathological. Much like drug or alcohol use, the answer is highly individualized. It seems some people can use porn recreationally while others develop an unhealthy fixation. Researchers are working to understand why this is the case, as well as to pin down specific signs of problematic use.
Differing opinions about what is healthy and normal sexual behavior has led to confusion about what distinguishes normal use from pathological use.1 Certain markers that are used to identify other addictions, compulsions and problem behaviors may be useful. These include things like spending excessive amounts of time engaged in the activity, being unable to stop or control use, and continuing to use despite having experienced problems as a result.
People who self-report problematic porn use tend to endorse all three of these indicators. Most are deeply distressed by how much and how often they watch porn and report having made previous attempts to stop, with limited success. Many also describe that their use of porn has caused serious problems for them; some may have lost money, jobs, or even marriages. Parallels between these experiences and those of people addicted to drugs and alcohol are difficult to overlook.
Defining Addiction
Addiction is a poorly defined and often misunderstood term. No singular definition exists but most experts agree that addiction is a disorder characterized by compulsive and problematic use of a substance. Addiction is a complex disorder that involves a person’s brain as well as their behavior. Some people may be more susceptible to addiction because of genetic, environmental, or social factors. While these can increase the risk for addiction, they are not causal and are only activated when a person chooses to repeatedly use drugs or alcohol.
Most addictive drugs cause the release of a chemical called dopamine, which creates the pleasurable high people experience. Dopamine works in many pathways in the brain, but it may be best known for its role in what is often referred to as the “reward system”. the reward system, and the pleasure one experiences, creates incentives for people to repeat the behavior in the future. The more a person gives in to urges to use the drug, the more they condition their brains to expect or rely on the drug, causing structural and chemical changes in the brain.
Over time, repeated use can create reward pathways (also called addiction pathways) in the brain that make it harder (though not impossible) for a person to stop using the drug. The brain may also become accustomed to regular doses of the drug and begin conserving dopamine, resulting in a person taking more of a substance to get the desired effect. This process, known as tolerance, tends to hasten addiction. In many instances, these neurological changes are not permanent and can be at least partially reversed when a person stops using drugs or alcohol for a prolonged period of time.
Can a Person Become Addicted to Porn?
In addition to drugs, certain behaviors also trigger the release of dopamine in the brain, leading researchers to believe these behaviors also have addictive qualities. Interestingly, many of the behaviors that cause the biggest releases of dopamine are also those which can become problematic for people in excess – things like eating unhealthy food, shopping, video games, gambling, sex, and pornography use. Neuroimaging studies have also shown that the brains of people who describe compulsive sexual behaviors (like excessive porn use) show abnormalities characteristic of drug and alcohol addiction.1
Although there is evidence to suggest that it is possible to be addicted to porn, the condition has not received the final seal of approval from certain authorities within the field of mental health. TheDSM–5, an international reference used to classify and diagnose all mental health conditions, considered a diagnosis of hypersexual disorder in the 2013 revision but ultimately did not include it. There was some evidence to suggest that hypersexual disorder existed, but the conclusion was that more research needed to be done to better understand this issue.
A new diagnosis called compulsive sexual behavior disorder was recently added to the ICD-11, another internationally used reference that classifies diseases. This disorder is characterized by intense and uncontrollable sexual urges that lead to problem sexual behaviors, including pornography use.2 While this inclusion is the first formal recognition of sexual behaviors as a mental health disorder, it still does not provide evidence of sex or porn addiction.
Compulsive sexual behavior disorder is classified in the ICD-11 as an impulse control disorder, not an addictive disorder. It might seem like splitting hairs, but the classification of a disease is significant. Adding the disease to the addictive disorder category would have been a formal acknowledgement that it is possible to be addicted to sex or porn. Because the current state of the research has yet to reach consensus, it is premature to claim that it is possible to be addicted to porn. A more accurate statement would be that some individuals develop problematic patterns of pornography use that are likely part of an underlying mental disorder.
Signs of Problematic Use
As more research is done to better understand problem porn use, it is likely that a standardized set of criteria will be developed to distinguish normal and abnormal porn use. For now, these warning signs are gleaned from different sources including the DSM’s criteria for substance use disorders,3 the ICD-11 symptoms of compulsive sexual behavior disorder,2 and from research conducted on people who report problem use of porn.4
Warning signs that may indicate problematic porn use include:
- Using porn more frequently or for longer than intended
- Making unsuccessful attempts to cut back or stop watching porn
- Frequently being preoccupied with sexual thoughts
- Significant disruptions in routine or ability to function due to excessive use of porn
- Feeling a loss of control over sexual urges or use of porn
- Conflict or disconnection with a significant other because of porn use
- An inability to become aroused or to sexually perform with partners in real life
- The development of new sexual fetishes that are upsetting or disturbing to the individual
- Watching porn in inappropriate settings (like at work, in public, or around children)
- The gradual need for more extreme or interactive forms of porn (eg. fetish or webcam)
- Feelings of shame about secret sexual urges and behavior
- Continuing to use porn even after it is no longer enjoyable
- Going to great lengths to hide or conceal the use of porn
- The use, collection or distribution of porn with illegal content (ie featuring children, bestiality, rape, etc)
Causes and Triggers of Problematic Porn Use
It is not clearly understood why porn use becomes compulsive for some people and not for others. Like with drug and alcohol use, it is believed that there may be some people who are more susceptible to addiction because of genetic, biologic, or environmental factors. Having a family or personal history of a mental illness or another type of addiction increases a person’s risk for addiction.
In addition, early childhood trauma or significant life stress also places people at higher risk for all types of mental illness, including addiction. People who are naturally more impulsive or prone to risk-taking may also be at higher risk for addiction.5 Some risk factors more specific to developing compulsive sexual behaviors include low self-esteem, social isolation and lack of attachment.
Males, particularly teen and young adult males, are higher users of porn and more likely than women to develop problem use. Spending a lot of time online increases a person’s risk for problem porn use and so does having very specific fetishes or sexual fantasies.6
Certain personality factors like neuroticism or high levels of risk taking or seeking novelty are also thought to increase the risk for problem sexual behaviors. There is a very high rate of other addictive and mental health disorders in people who report problem sexual behaviors, making this a significant risk factor.7
Impacts of Porn
Whether or not porn addiction is considered to be valid, there is clearly concern about whether it can, for some people, be harmful.8 There are many ways in which using porn to meet sexual needs is different than meeting sexual needs in real-life sex with partners, and these differences may be important in understanding some of the negative impacts of porn.
These differences include:
- Porn is accessible to most people 24/7, providing immediate gratification
- Porn offers an endless variety of sexual partners, scenarios, and acts
- Porn content is self-selected and does not require the consent of another person
- Porn allows users to remain anonymous while they fulfill sexual needs
- Porn enacts specific fetishes and fantasies that would be harmful or illegal in real life
- Porn normalizes violent and degrading sex acts, especially towards women
These unique aspects of online porn can create unrealistic expectations, fantasies, and preferences that are difficult to fulfill in real-life encounters.
This can lead to a variety of problems, including:
- Being unable to become aroused, sexually perform, or orgasm in real-life encounters
- Developing specific sexual fantasies or fetishes that can only be met online
- Developing a need for constant variety of sexual content that can only be fulfilled online
- Comparing sexual partners to adult film stars in ways that cause dissatisfaction
- Feelings of inadequacy about one’s appearance or sexual performance because of comparisons to porn
- Changes in attitudes towards sex and treatment of sexual partners
- An increased risk for committing sexual offenses
Research suggests that in addition to individual impacts of excessive porn use, there are several ways it impacts couples in committed relationships.
Excessive pornography use has been found to impact couples in the following ways:
- Increasing the risk of infidelity
- Doubling the risk for divorce or separation
- Lower levels of relationship satisfaction
- Increasing instances of conflict
- Decreasing the quality of intimacy and sexual satisfaction
- More negative evaluations of a partner’s appearance and sexual performance
- Partner’s feeling sexually objectified or devalued because of their partner’s use of porn
Unfortunately, adults are not the only consumers of pornography. The average age that a child is first exposed to online porn is estimated at 11 years old. Even when children are not actively searching for porn and even when parents place parental filters on shared devices, it is still possible for a child to find porn online. The effects of early exposure to porn are concerning and include an increased risk to both perpetrate or be the victim of sexual violence,9 an inclination to early sexual activity or experimentation, and more permissive views on casual sex.
Treatment for Porn Addiction
Several treatment options exist to help those who feel they are addicted to porn. These treatment options include:
Individual Therapy
Individual therapy typically occurs in office settings with a licensed counselor, social worker, or psychologist. It is typical for a person to have one hour therapy sessions once or sometimes twice a week. If porn addiction is the main issue, the therapist would likely help the person identify and avoid triggers and to learn skills to resist sexual urges to watch porn.
Online Therapy
For people who are uncomfortable with meeting face to face with a counselor to discuss their use of porn, there are websites that offer online counseling by phone, video, or chat. Different packages are available to meet individual needs.
Group Therapy
Group therapy is one possible option for those looking to find a support network of other people who have similar experiences. These groups generally occur in office or agency settings and are facilitated by trained counselors.
Support Groups
Another way to find a support system is to look into free support groups like sex addicts anonymous. These groups are offered in most communities throughout the nation and are peer-run (without a counselor to facilitate).
Residential or Inpatient Care
These are centers for people who need more structure or support than outpatient therapy could provide. These centers offer structured environments where people can spend time (usually 2 weeks to 1 month) focusing on beginning their recovery. These centers are typically staffed with a variety of professionals including doctors, nurses, and counselors.
Psychiatric Medication
In some cases, psychiatric medications (like an antidepressant) may also be recommended as a part of treatment, especially for people who are struggling with other forms of mental illness in addition to problem porn use.
How to Get Help for Pornography Addiction
People who feel they have a problem with, or addiction to, porn should seek professional help. Online directories are often a great starting point to find therapists within a certain town or city, and the search functions allow people to narrow down to therapists with certain specialties. Sites like these can also be used to find psychiatrists and addiction treatment centers.
One of the major barriers to treatment for problem porn use is that because it is not formally recognized as an addiction, insurance may not cover the cost of treatment. Calling the insurance company to inquire about coverage is often a good way to prevent unexpected charges. In some cases, therapists or other treatment agencies may be willing to offer a reduced rate for people who cannot afford the full cost of services. To find out more about an agency’s policy on this, ask whether they offer a “sliding scale” for people paying out of pocket.
Porn Addiction Statistics
Reliable statistics about problematic porn use are scarce for several reasons. First, because porn addiction or even problem porn use has not been consistently defined, it is difficult to determine the accuracy of the available data. Further, a great majority of the statistics and research on problem porn use come from special interest groups or religious organizations with an anti-porn agenda.
For now, these are some of the most reliable statistics available on pornography addiction:
- 87% of college aged men and 31% of college aged women report watching porn
- An estimated 3-6% of Americans believe they have a sexual addiction
- An estimated 1.2% of women and 4.4% of men self-reported being addicted to porn
- 90% of males receiving treatment for sex addiction had another mental health disorder
- 88% of scenes in mainstream porn feature verbal or physical violence, mostly towards women
- Watching porn was found to double the risk that married couples would divorce
- 350 divorce lawyers revealed that 56% of divorce cases involved excessive use of porn
- More than 50% of cybersex users lost interest in real-life sexual encounters with partners
- 43% of porn users reported using the internet to engage in sexual activities they would not do in real life
Living with Porn Addiction: Coping and Managing Symptoms
Many treatment options exist for those who are struggling with porn addiction or any other kind of sexual addiction. In addition to seeking the help of a professional, here are some additional strategies that can be helpful to those trying to avoid pornography:
Involve Your Support System
Many people struggling with addiction feel intense shame, and this might be especially true for those with sexual addictions. Opening up can be difficult and may be met with mixed reactions but is usually an important part of healing. Select a few loved ones you can trust to be supportive throughout your recovery and make specific requests of them so they know how to help.
Make it Harder to Access Porn
Think of willpower as a limited reserve– and work to conserve it when possible. Make it harder to give in to momentary urges and temptations by adding parental filters or blocks on your devices or by placing your computer in a public part of your home or office. These small steps can act as a safeguard for the inevitable times when your willpower is low.
Find Healthy Forms of Intimacy
People who have struggled with problematic sexual behaviors don’t usually report feeling a lot of intimacy or closeness during sex. Reconnect with a partner in ways that invite intimacy back into the relationship by cuddling, using foreplay, or finding ways to be playful.
Remember Your “Why”
There is at least one good reason why you want to stop watching porn and it is important to stay in touch with that reason. Some days are bound to be difficult and you will need to summon your “why” to help you stay motivated to push through.
Be Still and Wait for the Urge to Pass
Inevitably, you are going to have urges to watch porn. When these come, you will want to act on them. Instead, stop, be still, and let the urge come and then wait until it goes. Imagine it is like a wave, building up inside of you and eventually dissipating. Over time, you will find that the waves get smaller and come less often.
