Sadfishing: What It Is & Why Teens Do It

What Is Sadfishing?

Sadfishing is when someone posts personal pictures or stories on social media as a cry for attention and sympathy. Editor and writer Rebecca Reid first described sadfishing in a piece about celebrity social media posts serving as advertisements.¹ While sadfishing originally referenced celebrity behavior, teens and young adults more commonly exhibit this behavior.

Sadfishing examples vary depending on the platform but often contain similar elements. For instance, someone may post an exaggerated Instagram story about a recent breakup or heartbreak, complete with sad-face or crying emojis. Or, write a tweet about being a failure for not getting a job, passing an exam, or making a simple mistake.

What Causes Sadfishing?

People may sadfish for numerous reasons but are often seeking support or sympathy for a recent stressful situation, mental health struggles, or body image issues. Sadfishing typically occurs on social media, and social media is linked to negative self-image and increased mental health symptoms.²

Common causes of sadfishing include:

• Loneliness: Those experiencing loneliness may sadfish to feel supported by friends or acquaintances to combat feelings of isolation.
• Depression or anxiety: Some teens may not know healthy ways to manage challenging emotions like depression or anxiety. They may try to turn to social media for support from peers.
• Personality disorders: Individuals with a personality disorder may be more likely to engage in behaviors such as sadfishing. They may use sadfishing to receive the attention they crave or fill a need for reassurance.
• Narcissism: Those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) believe they are highly esteemed and liked by everyone. They also need attention to fuel their narcissistic supply, so sadfishing may be an easy way to achieve this.
• Low self-esteem: Low self-esteem or worth can lead to sadfishing. A person may receive a momentary self-esteem boost if they receive sympathy online.
• Poor social support: People may turn to social media for support if they lack healthy relationships. When struggling with challenging or sad situations, receiving attention from others online may provide relief or comfort.
• Substance use: Substance use can lower inhibitions and make people more impulsive. Those under the influence may post something on social media they would otherwise avoid when sober.
• They need immediate support: Some people need instant gratification when feeling sad. Rather than waiting for a call or text from supportive friends, posting online may offer immediate comfort.²

Is Sadfishing a Call for Help or Attention?

Determining if sadfishing is a call for help or attention is challenging. Knowing the true intent behind a post can be impossible if you do not talk to or know the poster. Sometimes, even speaking with the poster doesn’t help you identify the reasons behind sadfishing.

Instead, look for signs of an underlying mental health crisis. Do you notice this person struggling with symptoms of depression or anxiety? Or does this person typically use sadfishing and similar behavior to receive attention?

Sadfishing Vs. Mental Health Crisis

Knowing whether someone is sadfishing for momentary support or at risk of harming themselves is essential but also difficult. Look for common signs of a crisis if you suspect a loved one may be struggling with their mental health. Recognizing these behaviors can help you provide crucial support in their time of need.

Below are signs that sadfishing may be a mental health crisis:

• Isolating themselves from loved ones
• Posting about giving away items
• Posting about “not being around much longer”
• Sleep disturbances
• Losing friends
• Sudden changes in social media post behaviors and patterns
• Talking about self-harm or posting pictures of scars, burns, etc.

The Risks of Sadfishing

Sadfishing brings the risk of exposure on the internet. Posting about personal life online opens the door to privacy violations and cyberbullying. People may use intimate photos or personal information against the poster, sometimes resulting in harassment, stalking, or even blackmail.²

How to Respond to Sadfishing as a Parent

Responding to sadfishing can feel uncomfortable but may be necessary. Knowing the intent behind your child’s social media behavior can help prevent negative consequences or further mental health struggles.

Here are 10 tips for responding to sadfishing:

1. Ask About Sadfishing in a Neutral Tone

People often post personal stories or pictures during vulnerable moments, and the reactions they receive online may improve or worsen negative emotions. If your teen is sadfishing online, approach the conversation about their behavior neutrally and non-judgmentally. Avoid appearing overly concerned or upset while validating and supporting their experience.

2. Give Them Positive Attention

Many kids sadfish because they need attention. Children need parental support to grow and thrive. Instead of allowing them to continue sadfishing, offer your teen opportunities to spend time with you. Provide positive attention and praise when they succeed and guidance when they struggle.

3. Do Not Act Shocked or Angry

Some parents do not realize teens are having issues until they engage in potentially dangerous or inappropriate behavior. You may be shocked after learning of your child’s sadfishing posts, and reacting with surprise is normal as a parent. However, stay neutral when talking with your child to avoid scaring them away or shaming them into silence.

4. Point it Out

When you notice friends or family members sadfishing on social media, point out the behavior to your child. Doing so does not shame the poster but opens a discussion about sadfishing. If your teen is receptive to this conversation, use the opportunity to discuss the risks of sadfishing.

5. Be Consistent

Be consistent when discussing online behavior. For example, place the same rules on your social media behavior as those you set for your teen. Seeing their parents sadfish online after being reprimanded will confuse a teen.

6. Focus on the Bigger Picture

Focusing on words and pictures posted online is easy, but take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Your teen is turning to social media for support instead of you. Ask them to sit with you and share their emotions, thoughts, and experiences. Offer them space to feel validated and encouraged.

7. Know That Sadfishing Is Not Abnormal Teen Behavior

According to one survey, more than 70% of teens are dishonest about online and social media behavior.³ Many other parents have encountered sadfishing or similar behavior before, so you are not alone in your experience.

8. Teach Appropriate Social Media Use

You may want to remove any access to your child’s social media. However, doing so only encourages them to seek other means of staying active online. Instead, explain to your teen how the internet works. Every post leaves an online footprint and room for privacy invasion.

9. Do Not Make Assumptions

Avoid accusing your teen of sadfishing. They may take offense and isolate themselves from you. Be careful not to dismiss their behavior as silly or say things like, “This will pass,” or “Just get over it.” Minimizing their experience makes them feel worse about the situation.

10. Find Them Another Outlet to Vent

Social media may offer a space for teens to vent or express their feelings, much like diaries or journals. Encouraging your teen to use a journal or notepad to release their emotions may help them stay safer online.

When to Seek Professional Support

Parents should consider seeking professional help for their child or teenager struggling with depression or anxiety. Enrolling your teen in therapy offers the chance to discuss their challenges with a non-biased professional. Checking an online therapist directory for in-person or online therapy options can help you find a therapist specializing in teen behavior.

In My Experience

In my experience, young people, especially adolescents, are prone to sadfishing because they tend to believe they can get emotional support online. Modern teens grew up in a virtual world where praise and sympathy are more available online than in person. Therefore, receiving support with the click of a button is easier than seeking it from parents or other loved ones. But supporting by paying attention and offering support can help decrease sadfishing behavior.