What Is Gender Expression? Meaning & Examples

What Is Gender Expression?

Gender expression is how someone presents their gender. Others then perceive these characteristics, mannerisms, and behaviors as masculine, feminine, both, or neither. For some, their gender expression will stay the same day-to-day and align with their gender identity. For others, they may experience their gender as fluid, and their gender expression may or may not reflect this too.

People often confuse gender and sex and then are completely unaware that gender expression even exists. While all these terms are related, they are not the same, and it’s important to know the differences.

Gender Expression Vs. Gender Identity

The easiest way to remember the difference between gender expression and gender identity is to remember; gender expression is what people see, and gender identity is how someone feels. But they may or may not be the same. For example, someone may not feel they align with any gender but prefer to express themselves more femininely.²

Gender Expression Vs. Sexual Identity

Gender expression is how someone does or does not present their gender outwardly. This will be different from sexual orientation because sexual orientation refers to someone who has sexual attraction. While there are stereotypes about certain sexualities and how they express their gender, it’s important never to assume anyone’s sexual orientation based on how they present and vice versa.

Gender Expression Types

Gender expression is frequently assumed to align with the male and female binary. For many, their gender, gender expression, and sex are aligned, and they feel comfortable with this. But that doesn’t mean this will be everyone’s experience. For many people, this may not feel comfortable or align with how they think and who they are.

Gender expression characteristics may be described as follows:

• Feminine
• Masculine
• Gender-neutral
• Androgynous
• Gender non-conforming
• Butch
• Masc
• Femme

Understanding Gender Diversity

Gender is not just being male or female. While many people who are cisgender will relate to being only male or female, many others do not have this experience. For example, non-binary, agender, and transgender people may not align with only masculine or feminine characteristics and instead recognize gender expands far beyond what people assume.

Gender Expression & Cultural Stereotypes

Gender expression is particularly influenced by society and cultural stereotypes. Everywhere you go, there is the influence of what people think should be for men/boys or women/girls, whether clothing, decor, self-care products or even food. But, when we remove societal expectations, rules, and assumptions, many realize “male” and “female” are just labels. And these binary labels heavily restrict many people from being able to express themselves as who they truly are.

Gender Expression Impacts

Unfortunately, if someone has a gender expression that differs from what people would expect, they are treated poorly. People are denied medical treatment solely based on their gender identity or expression. Others are fired from their jobs or mistreated by co-workers. The discrimination, violence, or negative responses they receive are harmful and degrading and keep many people from successfully and comfortably expressing themselves.^3,4,5

Coping Skills for Gender Expression Issues

If you or someone you know struggles with gender expression, there are ways to cope, explore, heal, and grow. Despite mistreatment and lack of understanding, many people can find a gender expression they feel secure and confident with.

Here are five coping strategies to try:

1. Engage in self-care: When you feel distressed or like change needs to happen, getting wrapped up in everything that “feels wrong” can be easy. No matter where you are in your journey, taking time for self-care to care for yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually is important.
2. Experiment with expressing yourself: It can be helpful to experiment and take small steps. Maybe you could buy a new shirt online at home, a new accessory, or try a different hairstyle on your day off.
3. Talk to a therapist: Therapy is an entire space devoted completely to you. Never underestimate the power of talking about how you feel, what you’re going through, and the questions you have. It can feel hard to find a therapist who is a good fit, but once you do, it’s worth it. Don’t forget to try out an online therapist directory to help you in your search.
4. Have fun: While questioning your gender and experimenting is serious, don’t forget to have fun with it. If something doesn’t go well or you feel ridiculous, it’s okay to feel frustrated, but don’t forget to laugh at yourself and enjoy the exploration process.
5. Identify support: Invite a trusted friend to explore with you, help you talk through how you feel, or brainstorm ways you can explore or embrace your gender. Who knows, they may have had similar thoughts or feelings.

How to Support a Loved One

What can you do if you have a friend or family member with a gender expression that doesn’t match stereotypical ideas of how men/women should look or act?

Here’s how to be a supportive friend to someone struggling with gender expression issues:

• Be an ally: Ally is a verb, meaning you must do some work. Take time to educate yourself about what someone has expressed to you, whether about their gender or gender expression. Also, stand up for the person if others say unkind or inaccurate things.
• Ask about pronouns: While gender expression and pronouns are separate, sometimes, when people are exploring their gender expression, they may also be exploring new pronouns. It never hurts to ask someone if this is something they are considering.
• Recognize someone’s gender expression: Even if you don’t have a similar experience or feel the same way, it’s important to acknowledge the person is the expert on their own experience. This is validating for that person and will help them feel supported.
• Listen to hear, not just respond: It’s normal to feel nervous when someone starts to talk to you about something you don’t feel like an expert on. But it’s important to hear what the person is saying instead of just thinking about what you will say.
• Ask what they need: If you’re struggling with what to say or how to react, ask the person what they need. This allows them to share how you can support them and let you know what you can do for them. Win, win!

In My Experience

Understanding gender expression can initially feel overwhelming, but the more you know, the more you can learn about yourself and others. I also want to let anyone questioning see that they aren’t alone. I meet with so many folks in therapy who are just trying to know themselves better and understand where they fit in the world.