Peer Pressure: Types, Examples, & How to Respond

What Is Peer Pressure?

Peer pressure refers to the influence exerted on someone—usually a friend, schoolmate, or anyone with similar interest—to do something or push them towards something they may be resistant to do or may not otherwise choose to engage in. Peer pressure often involves conformity, where the person changes their behavior, values, or attitudes to align with those of their peers.¹

It’s worth noting that peer persuasion can be either positive or negative and can manifest in a variety of ways. For instance, in some cases, peer pressure can motivate people to make healthier or more responsible choices. Conversely, peer pressure can also lead people to engage in risky activities they wouldn’t normally do such as experimenting with drugs or alcohol and/or adopting self-destructive habits.¹

Who Experiences Peer Pressure?

Children and adolescents of any age can experience peer pressure in the form of engaging in risky behavior, name calling or bullying other children, or breaking rules. The pressure these children face to conform to their social circle is often the only way they feel they can belong to that group. As we get older, these feelings of needing to conform can persist.

Adults of any age are not immune to experiencing peer pressure. Peer pressure in this age group can also include risky behavior, however the consequences are more grave than those of childhood risky behaviors. Adults can experience peer pressure at work, as many adults spend a great deal of time at work and interacting with coworkers. This type of pressure can look like working the same long hours as others, persuading others to do something you wouldn’t want to do yourself, and anything in between.²

Peer Pressure & Social Media

Peer pressure and social media are two interrelated motivating forces that can significantly influence others, particularly young people. And while social media can provide people with valuable tools and a sense of connection, it can also have adverse effects.³

In some instances, teenagers on social media may feel pressured to live up to what they see online like a “perfect” lifestyle and unrealistic body standards. Social networks have also created a space making young people vulnerable to engaging in unsafe behaviors like consumption of alcohol or drugs, cyberbullying, and many more unhealthy acts. Moreover, the constant need to receive feedback and peer connection can gradually turn into an internet addiction.³

Types of Peer Pressure

There are many types of peer pressure which can be experienced at any age. Since peer pressure involves communicating some type of message, the way in which that message is communicated can be varied. You may experience very direct and clear peer pressure, at times it may be only a strong feeling, sometimes it might sound fun and other times it could sound scary and even illegal.

Types of peer pressure can include:⁴

1. Spoken Peer Pressure: One individual or a group verbally asking another individual to participate in some type of behavior. In a group setting, the pressure felt is much stronger as there is power in numbers.
2. Unspoken Peer Pressure: An individual being exposed to certain behaviors, trends, or choices of others and feeling a pressure to conform.
3. Direct Peer Pressure: Very specific to behavior-based conformity and can be spoken or unspoken. Direct peer pressure can often feel heightened because of our own discomfort of the environment we’re in at that time of experiencing direct peer pressure.
4. Indirect Peer Pressure: Less invasive on our internal voice to behave a certain way, however, it can validate a behavior or activity we want to try but haven’t tried yet. It can be unspoken but also influence how we feel about ourselves.
5. Positive Peer Pressure: Can be direct, indirect, spoken, or unspoken. This is pressure felt in one-on-one situations or groups that yields positive results and healthier lifestyle choices.
6. Negative Peer Pressure: Can also be direct, indirect, spoken, or unspoken. This pressure can challenge someone to do things they may not usually do and engage in such behaviors because others are doing so and it’s a way to belong.

Effects of Peer Pressure

Although there can be positive aspects to peer influence, there can also be a range of negative consequences and intense drawbacks, particularly when it relates to teens and young adults.

Some potential impacts of peer pressure include:

• Anxiety or depression: Trying to adapt to peer expectations, especially when they go against a person’s own values can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, eventually leading to the development of mental issues like anxiety or depression.⁵
• Distance from family and friends: When people prioritize their peer group over their family’s standards and morals, it can cause them to withdraw from and strain relationships with parents, siblings, and other family members, leading to conflict and tension at home.
• Negative behavior changes: Peer pressure might encourage someone to start acting negatively and engage in disorderly behaviors such as bullying, truancy, stealing, etc., which can bring legal and other serious problems.
• Potential for risky behaviors: Friends may push each other to partake in risky acts like alcohol misuse and underage drinking, experimenting with drugs, reckless driving, or unsafe sex, all of which can have major health and legal consequences.¹
• Academic distraction: Peer pressure can derail young people from academic responsibilities where they may start neglecting schoolwork, skip classes, or engage in cheating, which can damage their educational outcomes.
• Problems with self-esteem: Constant comparison to peers and feeling like an outcast if they don’t conform to their social group can decrease someone’s self-esteem, leading to a negative self-image and diminished self-worth.⁶
• Issues or unhappiness with appearance: Having friends that obsess over appearances can make people experience feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction with their looks, and wanting to change their appearance to fit in and feel valued.

Examples of Peer Pressure

There are a variety of ways in which people can feel pressured to engage in behaviors they may not want to do. Everyone of all ages, races, and genders are susceptible to feeling some type of peer pressure at some point in their lives. It may not always result in grand consequences, but it is felt by all who experience it.

Peer Pressure in Adolescent Men

It was recently found that male adolescents were more susceptible to risky behaviors, including drug use and aggressive behaviors.⁷ Males at this age are typically trying to ensure they maintain their gender role stereotypes and often relate these behaviors to masculinity. Males at this age who defy gender norms tend to face more social consequences and are conditioned to then behave and act in a way that is in accordance with the majority.

At this age group, boys are experiencing a great amount of hormonal changes and developing, however not all are developing at the same rate. Once these boys are together, the various stages of their development play a role in driving their choices and interactions. Boys who may be in a different developmental stage become more susceptible to direct, spoken peer pressure, such as taking a drink in a social situation, accepting a cigarette, or engaging in pranks, vandalism, or bullying.

Peer Pressure & Sexual Activity

In another study, high school and college-aged males were more likely to engage in sexual activities to prove their masculinity and their heteronormative identity. Males at this age are more likely to have an unspoken expectation to be engaging in sexual activities as a larger cultural norm that has historically been left unchallenged. It is common for males at this age to feel an internal struggle to find a balance between managing these external pressures to perform in a specific way that is undefined by them and to follow what they feel internally is right for them.⁸

This is an unspoken type of peer pressure. While males at this age are typically not publicly pressuring other males to engage in sexual behaviors publicly to prove their masculinity, they often feel a certain responsibility to both belong and be true to themselves. This unspoken peer pressure can leave these young men feeling especially vulnerable and susceptible to engage in sexual behaviors even if they may not necessarily feel ready to do so.

Peer Pressure & Alcohol Consumption

In a recent study, it was found that adult men and women both experience a pressure to drink alcohol.⁹ The experience has been described as both aggressive and friendly depending on the social situation. It proves that there is no age discrimination when it comes to peer pressure to consume alcohol, as many may feel social isolation if they do not conform.

This type of peer pressure is direct, spoken or unspoken, and negative. There are only ill feelings that come from being pressured to drink, whether they are emotional or physical. Drinking when you are not ready nor want to can make you physically sick and leave you feeling bad about yourself days after. It can also take days to recover from drinking in a peer pressure situation if you drank heavily to fit in. This can have very clear negative consequences as drinking as a result of pressure can leave you with poorer judgment, unable to see or think clearly, use a vehicle or communicate effectively. In a situation where this occurs with a professional network, it can harm your career and reputation.

Examples of Positive Peer Pressure

Peer pressure isn’t always negative, in fact, positive peer pressure can be a powerful force for personal growth and development, especially when it inspires people to make constructive and healthy decisions.

Here are a few examples of positive peer pressure:¹

• Friendship: Peers can offer support, a sense of connection, feeling of acceptance, and create long-lasting bonds.
• Positive examples: By setting a good example, friends can stimulate a person to be more positive and engage in healthy behaviors and habits.
• Positive socialization: Peers can teach you appropriate social skills, how to communicate better, how to adapt to unfamiliar situations, introduce you to new people, etc.
• Feedback: Peers can help you make good decisions, provide sound advice, and won’t hesitate to share if they think you’re doing something wrong or risky.
• Encouragement: Friends can motivate you to participate in sports or extracurricular activities, study harder, etc. They can also reassure and support you when you feel down.
• Opportunities for new experiences: Peers can pave the way toward new prospects like trying new foods, traveling, or other positive things you haven’t done before.

Why Do People Give in to Negative Peer Pressure?

People give in to negative peer pressure for a variety of reasons. Some individuals, particularly younger folks who have low self-esteem, poor family support, conflicts at home, and other issues may succumb to peer pressure to fit in or feel accepted by their peers. Others worry that if they don’t go along with what everyone else is doing, they’ll be teased. Many people just give in to peer pressure simply out of curiosity. The list of reasons can go on, but the bottom line is that often a person yields to peer pressure due to a strong desire for social validation and fear of rejection.¹

How to Deal With Peer Pressure

There are many ways to deal with the various types of peer pressure you can experience, such as knowing your “why” behind not caving in, taking a break before making a decision, or talking with a safe person.

Here are six tips for dealing with peer pressure:

1. If You’re Unsure, Take a Time Out

You don’t need to immediately jump into something you’re unsure about or that you’d rather not do. Instead, take a step back to check in with yourself and evaluate if you think you are being pressured or coerced by your friends or peers. If the person keeps insisting and waiting around for you to respond, let them know that you’ll need some time to think it through. It’s easier to withstand the pressure when you are able to pause and ground yourself.

2. Listen to Your Gut

Handling peer pressure involves first being aware of how you feel about the situation and environment you’re in when the peer pressure is happening. If you can pay attention to your emotions, you can often find yourself leaving a situation before you may be peer pressured into doing something you may not actually want to do.

3. Be Firm With Your Boundaries & Know Your “Why”

Talking about these feelings and setting boundaries is another way to ensure you can stay comfortable in an environment where you encounter peer pressure. If your boundaries are not respected and the pressure continues, it can be a sign that your environment isn’t a place where you’re respected. This may help you think about the company you keep and start making choices where you’re in a company that respects you, your value system, and your boundaries.

4. Offer an Alternative

Perhaps the person peer pressuring doesn’t know how else to communicate or connect with you. They may think that asking you to smoke or drink with them is a form of bonding. If they pressure you into doing something you aren’t comfortable with or that feels wrong, then suggest an alternative. For example, ask if they want to go bowling or watch a movie instead. This way, you’re able to connect with your friend while engaging in something that won’t harm either of you.

5. Arrange a Code Word With a Parent or Trusted Friend

Have a plan in mind to use if you ever find yourself in a position or situation that feels improper or uncomfortable. You can come up with a “code” word and inform your parents, siblings, or your closest friends so they know that when they receive that text message something is off, and you need their help. Then, they can call you saying there’s a family/friend crisis, and you need to leave. This can prevent you from being caught off guard and safely get you out of a risky situation.

6. If Something Feels Dangerous, Tell a Safe Authority Figure

Identify the people in your life who are accessible and safe to talk to in case you are faced with a dilemma. If something feels dangerous or inappropriate, then it probably is, even if your friends don’t feel the same way. This type of judgment is part of your growth, becoming self-sufficient and learning more about yourself. If a situation seems unsafe, don’t think twice about reaching out to a trustworthy authoritative figure.

How to Get Help for Someone Who Has Experienced Peer Pressure

It’s important to recognize how peer pressure can leave lasting impacts on people’s mental health, regardless of their age, race and gender. Social anxiety is often a common consequence of peer pressure, especially if it has been experienced several times over the course of one’s core developmental age brackets.¹⁰ Recognizing this may be a result of peer pressure is the first step to getting the right kind of help.

Next, it’s important to make sure whoever has been peer pressured understands that their feelings are valid even if they acted against how they truly felt. It can take a lot of time to unlearn some of the behaviors learned throughout their lifetime. Identifying the ways in which someone is struggling is a good way to start healing. It gives us a pathway to get to the core, especially over a long period of feeling pressured. It would be very helpful to find a therapist who can work with anxiety, self-esteem, and self-image issues to help navigate the lasting impact of peer pressure activities.

For Parents Worried About Peer Pressure

If you are concerned about your child being affected by negative peer pressure, there are things you can do to encourage them to make smart choices, including:

Encourage Your Child to Have Friends Over

Encourage your child to bring their friends to the house. This can give you an opportunity to meet them and get a feel for them. This can also strengthen your relationship with your own child because they’ll get a sense that you’re open to fostering their friendships. Plus, having their peers over can enable you to observe their interactions and help you detect who can potentially be a bad influence and who isn’t.

Listen Without Judgment & Keep Lines of Communication Open

Creating a safe and validating space where your child feels comfortable sharing about their experiences can help you stay informed about what’s happening in their life while also building a stronger parent-child relationship. This means giving your child your undivided attention, actively listening, and empathizing while refraining from lecturing or scolding them if you hear something upsetting. Once they sense that you’re in their corner, they’ll be more likely to open up and tell you about any negative peer pressure issues that may come up in the future.

Talk With Your Child About Behavior You’re Concerned About

When you talk with your child about the things that concern you, it is important that you make it about the behavior you don’t like or find unacceptable, as opposed to talking about the people you don’t like. For instance, telling them, “I don’t like your friends-they are no good for you.” This statement can sound too critical, and your child may become defensive. But saying, “I noticed that when you’re with your friends you often get into fights,” sounds less harsh and your child may be more receptive to the message you’re trying to bring across.

Suggest Ways to Say No

As a parent, you have a very influential role in your child’s life—one in which you can steer them in the right direction. Take this opportunity to teach them about being independent thinkers and not rushing into making decisions they aren’t 100% confident about. Show your child that it’s perfectly okay to say no when things don’t feel right and, as difficult as it may be, saying “no” is key to setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Consider role playing different scenarios so they can practice saying no, preparing them to navigate possible pressure situations.

Encourage a Wide Social Network

When your child has multiple healthy friendships and supportive adults in their life, they’re more likely to find support if a peer tries to influence them into doing something they’re not comfortable with.