Sex Coach Vs. Sex Therapist

What is a Sex Coach?

A sex coach may have various levels of training and use a variety of titles such as sex coach, sexual empowerment coach, and sexual relationship coach. In the United States, coaching is not a regulated industry, therefore, there are no standard requirements for formal education. As such, sex coaches are not required to be mental health specialists or licensed professionals.

This doesn’t mean sex coaches are not trained, but rather that this needs to be assessed at the individual level. Sex coaches may have what is referred to as lived experience, which basically means they have experienced the same issue as you. Unlike sex therapists, who are required to limit personal information, sex coaches may share their journey with you.

Sex Coaching Goals

Your sex coach will work with you to identify your goals. For example, you may want to feel more confident or empowered in your sexuality. You may arrive with a clear idea of what you want out of sex coaching, or you may want to work with your sex coach to identify what it is you are looking to change.

Common reasons people see a sex coach include:

• Gain more confidence in the bedroom
• Learn more about their sexuality
• Experience sexual empowerment
• Experience more intimate sex
• Practical tools for flirting
• Better understand your sexual needs and desires
• Information to increase sexual pleasure

What is a Sex Therapist?

Sex therapists are licensed health professionals such as psychologists and family therapists. For example, a sex therapist may be a psychologist and, as such, would be registered with the American Board of Professional Psychology. This means they must meet minimum education (e.g., Masters degree) and training requirements and are bound by the regulating body’s professional guidelines and ethics.

Sex therapists are mental health professionals who have completed training in evidence-based therapy approaches, as well as specialized sexology training. Sex therapists are trained in the assessment and treatment of numerous presentations. Sex therapists will also have completed specific training in sexual health and wellness and understand general concerns you may have, as well as more complex sexual health needs.

Sex Therapy Goals

Sex therapy addresses a range of sexual health concerns that may impact individuals and relationships. You can do individual sex therapy on your own, or if you are in a committed relationship, couples sex therapy may be recommended. Sex therapy may include addressing concerns such as sexual desire, painful sex, difficulty achieving orgasm, and changes in sexual dynamics over time.

Some common reasons you may see a sex therapist include:

• Reducing anxiety during sex
• Healing from sexual trauma
• Learning how to talk to your partner about sex
• Addressing sexual disorders and painful sex
• Navigating differences in sexual desire with your partner, like what to do if your wife doesn’t want to have sex or if your husband lost interest in you sexually
• Addressing changes in your sexual health during key transitions such as pregnancy, after having a baby, and during menopause
• Providing a safe space for you to talk about your sexuality
• Low sexual desire
• Premature ejaculation or erectile difficulties
• Integrating sexual beliefs and values and understanding the role sexual scripts and societal gender expectations may have on your sexual wellbeing
• Increasing sexual pleasure
• Trying to conceive, sex during pregnancy, and after baby
• Shifting unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors related to sex
• Increasing intimacy in your relationship
• Sex in the context of medical difficulties e.g., cancer, chronic health conditions, pain disorders

Similarities of Sex Coaching & Sex Therapy

Many people will seek support from a sex coach or sex therapist. You may be experiencing low sexual desire or pain during sex, have questions about your sexuality, want to increase sexual pleasure, or feel more empowered in the bedroom. Whatever the reason, one of the questions people often ask is, should I see a sex coach or sex therapist?

There are numerous similarities between sex coaching and sex therapy, both professions aim to improve sexual wellbeing. A strong evidence base supports a biopsychosocial, integrative, multidisciplinary approach to sexual well-being.^1,2,3 Further, research indicates an Ex–PLISSIT approach may positively impact sexual functioning.^4,5 This means your sex therapist, sex counselor, or sex coach will consider various biological, social, psychological, and relationship factors that may be relevant to your situation, seeking your permission and identifying collaborative treatment goals.

Often this will mean that you will be working with more than one professional. For example, you may work with your doctor on underlying medical factors contributing to sexual challenges; with a sex therapist to improve areas such as relationship communication, connection, and sexual intimacy; and a coach for practical skills to enhance your sexual confidence.

Differences Between a Sex Coach Vs. Sex Therapist

The main difference is a sex therapist is licensed, and a sex coach isn’t. Sex therapists are trained mental health professionals who develop a comprehensive understanding to not only help you with symptoms you’re experiencing but also address factors that cause or maintain your symptoms. A sex coach may focus on the immediate problem, providing information and practical resources.

It’s important to note that even within each industry – sex coaching and sex therapy, each individual coach or therapist may be trained in different approaches and techniques and have different areas of expertise. It’s important to consider the education, training, and experience of any individual sex coach, sex therapist, or sexual counselor you choose to work with.

However, overall, there are a number of key differences between sex coaching and sex therapy, including:

Assessment

Assessment is about understanding you, what has led you to seek help, and your goals. A sex therapist will usually start by spending at least one session developing a comprehensive understanding of your situation. If you seek help as a couple, this may include a longer assessment process.

For example, couples I work with complete hours of questionnaires before we even meet to facilitate a comprehensive understanding of each partner and their relationship before I develop a thorough treatment plan. In contrast, a sex coach may jump straight in with information and resources after developing a brief understanding of your symptoms and goals.

Biopsychosocial Approach

A therapist has completed education and training using a biopsychosocial approach. When they complete an assessment, they are looking to understand any factors that may be contributing to your experience, including biological, psychological, social, and interpersonal factors.^1,3 They will then identify treatment options for these, which may include making referrals to other professionals.

A coach may not have received training to understand all aspects of your experience, e.g., potential biological reasons for what you are experiencing. If you are working with a sex coach, it is important that you do this work alongside a medical health professional to rule out medical causes or impacts.

Boundaries

A sex therapist will typically work from a therapy room or set venue, whereas a sex coach may choose to meet clients at different locations. For example, a coach might accompany a client to other appointments or take them shopping. A sex therapist is bound by the ethics and guidelines of their licensing body, whereas the sex coaching industry is not regulated.

Insurance

As a registered health professional, a sex therapist will likely be able to provide insurance coverage and rebates. It is unlikely a sex coach will be able to provide rebates.

Governing Body

To be a sex therapist in America, you need first to become a licensed mental health professional, such as a clinical social worker (CSW), marriage and family therapist (MFT), or psychologist. Sex coaching is not a regulated industry, so there are no required qualifications. However, experienced sex coaches will usually be a part of a trade association that may provide suggestions on conduct.

Approach

Sexual challenges are multilayered and may include biological, psychological, social, and relational factors that need to be considered.^1,2 Both a sex coach and sex therapist will use a range of different approaches to address the various factors that may be getting in the way of your sexual well-being and satisfaction. Given the education and supervision requirements of a sex therapist, they may be trained in a broader range of therapies.

Credentials

To be a sex therapist in America, you need to first become a licensed mental health professional, such as a clinical social worker (CSW), marriage and family therapist (MFT), or psychologist. To be acknowledged as a sex therapist with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), you also need to have completed education and training in sexology, as well as complete numerous hours of supervised practice.

Sex coaches may come from a range of backgrounds and hold a wide range of credentials, from completing a 2-day online course to higher degree qualifications. Sex coaching is not a regulated industry, so there are no required qualifications. However, experienced sex coaches may be a part of a trade association that may provide suggestions on conduct.

Skill Building

A sex coach may be more focused on immediate, short-term goals whereas, given their training, a sex therapist will likely want to develop a comprehensive understanding of what has brought you to therapy and develop a treatment plan that considers how to not only best address your immediate symptoms but also the underlying causes of the challenges you are facing.

How to Choose Between a Sex Coach Vs. Sex Therapist

If you are experiencing mental health difficulties, it is important to seek support from someone with training in this area and work with a sex therapist. If your needs are more specific to one area, then when choosing a sex coach or sex therapist, you want to look more closely at the individual’s qualifications, experience, and the training they have received.

For example, you might work with a sex therapist due to increased anxiety about sex in the context of low sexual desire. However, you also want to increase sexual confidence post-mastectomy and want to work with someone who has experienced this. Perhaps, you seek out a coach who can also provide practical advice and support, like shopping for lingerie.

Where to Find Professional Help for Sex Coaching or Sex Therapy

Whether you choose to work with a sex coach or sex therapist, you can use an online therapist directory to help you find the right person for you. Remember, it is important to consider each individual’s education, training, and experience and consider if they are a good fit for your needs.

You can also find certified sexual health professionals in your area on the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) website.

In My Experience

After years of leading a busy psychology practice, I understand how hard it can be to reach out and make that first appointment. Firstly, as an experienced couples therapist, I want to reassure you that sexual difficulties are normal and very common, most people will experience sexual challenges in their lifetime.

Secondly, if you’re feeling nervous about talking about your experiences, rest assured you don’t need to have all the answers. Your therapist will ask you several questions so that together you can understand your experience and identify the most appropriate support. Thirdly, if the first sex coach or sex therapist wasn’t a good fit – remember there is a professional who is.

Lastly, there are many different ways to tackle a problem, even without stepping into a therapy room. This is one of the reasons I created a range of online relationship and sexual wellbeing programs because I found people wanted evidence-based information, but therapy wasn’t what everyone needed or could access.

Whatever you need help with, there is support available. There are so many warm, caring professionals who have studied sexual health and sexology because they want to help people just like you. Whatever you want help with, and in whatever format, there is a solution out there to meet your needs.