• Mental Health
    • Anxiety
      • What is Anxiety?
      • Types of Anxiety Disorders
      • Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety
      • Treatments for Anxiety
      • Anxiety Statistics
      • See More Anxiety Content
      • Find an Anxiety Specialist
    • Depression
      • What is Depression?
      • Types of Depression
      • Signs & Symptoms of Depression
      • Treatments for Depression
      • Depression Statistics
      • Find a Depression Specialist
    • Bipolar Disorder
      • What is Bipolar Disorder?
      • Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II
      • Signs & Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder Cycles
      • Treatments for Bipolar Disorder
      • Find a Bipolar Disorder Specialist
    • ADHD
      • What is ADHD?
      • ADHD Signs & Symptoms
      • ADHD & Depression
      • Find an ADHD Specialist
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
      • Anorexia
      • Bulimia
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Gender Dysphoria
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Online Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Online Therapists
    • Grief Counselors
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
    • Session Login
  • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
      • What is Anxiety?
      • Types of Anxiety Disorders
      • Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety
      • Treatments for Anxiety
      • Anxiety Statistics
      • See More Anxiety Content
      • Find an Anxiety Specialist
    • Depression
      • What is Depression?
      • Types of Depression
      • Signs & Symptoms of Depression
      • Treatments for Depression
      • Depression Statistics
      • Find a Depression Specialist
    • Bipolar Disorder
      • What is Bipolar Disorder?
      • Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II
      • Signs & Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder Cycles
      • Treatments for Bipolar Disorder
      • Find a Bipolar Disorder Specialist
    • ADHD
      • What is ADHD?
      • ADHD Signs & Symptoms
      • ADHD & Depression
      • Find an ADHD Specialist
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
      • Anorexia
      • Bulimia
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Gender Dysphoria
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Online Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Online Therapists
    • Grief Counselors
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
    • Session Login
Skip to content

Attention Seeking Behavior: Examples & How to Stop

Published: December 16, 2021 Updated: May 9, 2022
Published: 12/16/2021 Updated: 05/09/2022
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Rajy Abulhosn, MD
Reviewed by:

Rajy Abulhosn

MD
  • What Is Attention Seeking Behavior?Definition
  • Examples of Attention Seeking BehaviorExamples
  • Causes of Attention Seeking BehaviorCauses
  • How to Stop Someone’s Attention Seeking BehaviorHow to Stop
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Rajy Abulhosn, MD
Reviewed by:

Rajy Abulhosn

MD

Attention-seeking behaviors are attempts to become the center of attention. The motivation behind this behavior is usually ego-driven, where the attention serves as validation of some kind. While everyone has the occasional need for attention, going out of your way to employ these attention seeking behaviors to gain recognition from others is an issue, and can be indicative of deeper problems.

BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

What Is Attention Seeking Behavior?

Attention seeking behavior is typically extreme and dramatic, and the methods usually are very unhealthy and can be indicative of other mental health issues. Long term, attention seeking behaviors can ruin friendships and relationships because others may start to feel manipulated, even if the person seeking attention isn’t aware they are acting this way.1

There is a line between attention seeking behavior and craving a normal amount of attention. Attention makes us feel understood, loved, and even acknowledged for what is being validated by the attention. Attention seeking behaviors, however, put others in uncomfortable situations because they may feel obligated to give attention as opposed to wanting to give genuine attention without being provoked to do so.

Attention Seeking Behavior In Adults

Attention seeking behavior in adults looks different than typical, healthy need for connection. It can look like:2

  • Causing a panic in a meeting or even at the grocery store
  • Seeking out conflict in a group
  • Posting luxurious vacation photos on social media to see how many “likes” they can get
  • Posting a fancy outfit with the goal of getting others to compliment them

Attention Seeking Behavior In Children

Attention seeking behavior in children can be easily misconstrued. A child who is seeking attention may ask for help doing something they are capable of doing and have demonstrated before. Or, a child who keeps interrupting their parent who is on the phone while knowing they are on the phone. It’s possible to work to resolve these behaviors in children and ensure they can learn better ways to cope, and by giving children structure with expectations of when the children will have their parent’s undivided attention.3

Examples of Attention Seeking Behavior

Vying for attention can take on many forms. Some people may be looking for positive attention wherever they can get it, whereas others may enjoy stirring up conflict  to get the attention back on themselves.

Here are nine examples of attention seeking behavior:

  1. Fishing for compliments: An individual looking for praise instead of being organically complimented is a red flag that the individual is attention seeking.
  2. Exaggerating a story: Embellishing a story and over-dramatizing what actually happened is also a sign.
  3. Purposefully being argumentative to cause a scene: This is classic attention seeking behavior because a big scene will place the individual in the center of the group.
  4. Seeking sympathy: Getting sympathy from others isn’t always a negative thing. When we lose a loved one, we often get sympathy from others. For attention seekers, sympathy seeking involves purposefully doing certain things or embellishing stories to be portrayed as a victim. Attention seekers also seek sympathy by complaining often for things large and small, hoping one of these things will provoke sympathy in others.
  5. Pretending to not know how to do something so someone will help: People may pretend to have more needs than they actually have because they want someone around to just give them undivided attention.
  6. Pretending to be able to do something no one else can: Some may want people to look at what they can do and praise them.
  7. Obsessively taking photos for the sole purpose to post on social media: Posting for the purpose for others to view and praise is a red flag of attention seeking behavior if someone has gone out of their way drastically to capture the photo, and if this is done often.
  8. Constantly taking over the conversation: Diverting a story to talk about oneself is a clear sign of attention seeking behavior.
  9. Being opportunistic at someone else’s expense or circumstance: Similar to seeking sympathy or taking over a conversation, being opportunistic diverts attention to you for something that is unrelated to you so the focus can stay on you.

Causes of Attention Seeking Behavior

There are many reasons why people act out and seek attention. These behaviors are usually a symptom of something else or a need that is not being met. Attention seekers usually have general fears around their relationships or insecurities including feelings of jealousy.

Potential causes of attention seeking behavior in adults include:4

  1. Low self-esteem
  2. Histrionic personality disorder
  3. Narcissistic personality disorder
  4. Borderline personality disorder
  5. Loneliness
  6. Anxiety
  7. Jealousy
  8. Fixation on drama
  9. Unresolved trauma
  10. ADHD
  11. Bipolar disorder

BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

How to Stop Someone’s Attention Seeking Behavior

It can be difficult to know how to navigate a situation where someone is hogging all the attention. Depending on the context and how well you know the person, it’s helpful to clearly communicate boundaries and make sure you’re also giving the person undivided attention when it’s appropriate to do so—especially if it’s a child who appears to be acting out.

Here are seven strategies on how to stop attention seeking behavior:

  1. Reframe attention seeking to connection seeking: Remembering most people are looking for comfort and security can help you feel less annoyed by the behavior and feel more compassion for the individual acting out.
  2. Don’t give them positive reinforcement: When someone is acting out, don’t give in and reinforce that behavior.
  3. Encourage them to seek therapy: Help them understand that therapy can help address the underlying issues contributing to this behavior.
  4. Give honest communication without shame or judgement: Be loving in sharing how the attention seeking behavior is impacting you and your relationship.
  5. Teach them how to calm their mind: Help them understand what is going on by inviting them to yoga with you or sharing in a guided meditation.
  6. Set expectations and boundaries: Be clear and firm about your boundaries and expectations of your time and availability.
  7. Set time for undivided attention: Make sure you have enough time for undivided attention so attention seeking behavior doesn’t feel justified.

Whether you’re unsure of how to help someone else or you struggle with needing attention yourself, a therapist will have a new perspective for how to navigate this issue.

For Someone Wanting to Limit Their Attention Seeking Behaviors

Seeking professional help may be a great way to start your process of healing from these behaviors, especially if there is an underlying issue like a personality disorder, anxiety, depression, or unresolved trauma. Signs that you may want to speak with a therapist or counselor include general insecurities being exacerbated, anxiety, depression, anger, rage and jealousy.

For Someone Dealing With a Loved One

Talking to a therapist is a great way to cope if you are dealing with a loved one who often exhibits attention seeking behavior. Working to understand where these may come from and how to respond can be helpful to ensuring the relationship doesn’t deteriorate. Couples therapy or family therapy may also be helpful so that everyone is on the same page. A therapist can help to make sense of where these behaviors come from and how to change them. You can search an online online therapist directory to find a therapist who can assist you with these attention seeking behaviors.

Final Thoughts

Needing attention from time to time is typical for everyone, but going out of your way to get that attention and placing your loved ones, friends, or coworkers in uncomfortable situations for your own benefit is a red flag. Attention seeking behavior can be a sign of a more serious disorder, so keep that in mind the next time you experience or witness these behaviors.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for referrals by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp Online Therapy – BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Talkspace Online Therapy – Online therapy is convenient with Talkspace. Get therapy for as little as $69 per week, or potentially much less if you have insurance from Cigna, Optum, or UHR. Try Talkspace

Choosing Therapy’s Directory – Find an experienced therapist who is committed to your wellbeing. You can search for a therapist by specialty, availability, insurance, and affordability. Therapist profiles and introductory videos provide insight into the therapist’s personality so you find the right fit. Find a therapist today.

Mindfulness & Meditation App – Headspace is an easy way to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your routine. See for yourself how a few minutes each day can impact your stress levels, mood, and sleep. A monthly subscription for Headspace is only $12.99 per month and comes with a 7-day free trial. Try Headspace

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for referrals by BetterHelp, Talkspace, and Headspace

For Further Reading

  • Books on Self-Love
  • Books About Self-Improvement
  • Mental Health America
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth.gov
4 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Hao, L., Liu, D., Yin, J., Lin, B., Zhang, X., & Jiang, Q. (2021). Peer phubbing and selfie liking: The roles of attention seeking and gender. Social Behavior and Personality: an international journal, 49(7), 1-13.

  • Edwards, F. (2017). An investigation of attention-seeking behavior through social media post framing. Athens Journal of Mass Media and Communications, 3(1), 25-44.

  • Watanabe, T. (2020). Attention-seeking Behavior Acquisition from Others Speech in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. The Rissho International Journal of Academic Research in Culture and Society, 3, 153-168.

  • Gobes, C. (2017). Social Media and Self-Presentation: Trait Self-Control Predicts Image-Enhancement and Attention-Seeking on Facebook.

Recent Articles

Acute Stress Disorder vs. PTSD: Understanding the Differences
Acute Stress Disorder vs. PTSD: Understanding the DifferencesBoth acute stress disorder and PTSD can be a result of a person exposed to a traumatic event, but more
';
Complex PTSD (CPTSD): Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments
Complex PTSD (CPTSD): Signs, Symptoms, & TreatmentsComplex PTSD occurs when people live through multiple traumatic experiences, or those traumas begin in childhood. In this case, more
';
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatment
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, & TreatmentPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can occur after stressful or traumatic life events. PTSD can leave those impacted by trauma more
';
FT_Why_Does_Everyone_Hate_Me
"Why Does Everyone Hate Me?" 10 Reasons You Feel This WayAssuming that “Everyone hates me” is a pretty gloomy thought. Fortunately, it is highly unlikely that everyone around you more
';
What is an Addictive Personality Understanding the Risk Factors
What Is an Addictive Personality? Understanding the Risk FactorsThere’s no single personality characteristic that predetermines addiction or dependency. Addiction is a complicated condition in which multiple factors—extending more
';
Cycle Of Abuse: What It Is & How to Heal
Cycle of Abuse: What It Is & How to HealThe cycle of abuse refers to the repetitive cycle that is displayed in an abusive relationship. This can happen more
';
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Rajy Abulhosn, MD
Reviewed by:

Rajy Abulhosn

MD
  • What Is Attention Seeking Behavior?Definition
  • Examples of Attention Seeking BehaviorExamples
  • Causes of Attention Seeking BehaviorCauses
  • How to Stop Someone’s Attention Seeking BehaviorHow to Stop
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
If you are in need of immediate medical help:
Medical
Emergency
911
Suicide Hotline
800-273-8255
See more Crisis Hotlines
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • No Surprises Act
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
See more Crisis Hotlines
Crisis Hotlines here
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
800-273-8255
See more Crisis Hotlines
here
logo
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify.
Choosing Therapy Logo
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit Cookie Settings to provide controlled consent. Cookie settings ACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

We use cookies to facilitate website functionality. Also, we use third-party cookies to track your website behavior and target advertising. These cookies are stored in your browser only with your consent, and you have the choice of opting out.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non Necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

Save & Accept