Understanding & Reading Body Language

What Is Body Language?

Body language is the process of communicating nonverbally through physical signals and gestures, facial expressions, movements, and positioning. It is used to convey messages, either intentionally or unintentionally.

Body language is a significant part of our everyday communication. It is estimated that anywhere from 60-64% of communication is done through body language.¹ Some common examples include throwing one’s hands up to convey frustration, a smile to convey kindness, or stepping back to show discomfort.

Types of Body Language

Non verbal communication through body language is used to add further context and information for the listener or observer, and other things that can not be conveyed verbally.² There are many different types of body language, including facial expressions, gestures, and body positioning or posture.

Body language is interpreted differently across regions, cultures, and contexts.³ The gender of the person, their relationship to the observers or listeners, and their role in the situation all come into play when considering nonverbal meanings.

Different types of body language include:

Facial Expressions

Our face is often our first line of communication to the world, as it is usually what others look at while we are communicating with them. Thus, communication with the face is used to convey many emotions from happiness to frustration.

Emotions that can be expressed through facial expressions include:

• Happiness: The face is used to express happiness by tightening the muscles around the eyes to smile, along with crinkles developing around the eyes, cheeks raised, and lip corners raised diagonally.
• Surprise: To show surprise, the eyes are opened wide, and eyebrows are raised.
• Sympathy: The face is used to show sympathy with a tilted head, lips pursed, and eyes are cast down.
• Frustration: Eye rolling, eyebrows and forehead pursed, looking above or around the person or situation- all of these can convey frustration on the part of the person who is feeling this way.

Gestures

Gestures are when we use parts of our body to create meaning and convey messages to other people. Examples of this are when someone uses their hands or arms to point to something, or throwing one’s hands in the air can show that they are surprised. A similar arm movement can also be used to show frustration or aggression.

Using Eye Movements

Our eyes are often used to convey a lot of communication messages,⁴ from how we feel about ourselves and the situation around us, to our relationship with the other person. Our eyes can be used to show frustration, surprise, sarcasm, emotional pain, among others.

Whole Body Positioning

The positioning of our body is often used to communicate messages about our relationship to the person listening, the situation at hand, or the amount of power someone has over others.

Meanings that can be expressed through body positioning include:

• Aggression: Sometimes, arms crossed, head raised, and direct eye contact can be used to show dominance or even aggression. If they are standing directly over the person, this is another way to show aggression.
• Romantic attraction: Standing very close to another person can be a sign of aggression or threat if they do not know the person. Or it can be a sign of familiarity or romantic attraction.
• Power: A large stance, open hips, and head raised high can convey a message of authority or dominance over others in the situation.
• Submission: Someone who does not have a lot of power in the situation, either due to culture or subordinate status, can convey this by keeping eyes or head cast down, posture relaxed, and hands folded.

Physical Touch

Physical touch is often used to show messages to those around us, either to convey expressions of caring, to physical aggression, to support and congratulations.

Communication that can be expressed through physical touch include:

• To show they care: A hug or arm gently put on someone’s shoulder can be used to show caring and support.
• Aggression: The use of physical force can be used to show aggression and power.
• Support: A pat on the back or a fist pump are common ways to show support or congratulations.
• Respect: A common gesture of physical touch such as a handshake is used to convey professionalism and mutual respect.

The Science of Body Language

One important model in understanding the science behind interpreting body language is the Mehrabian Model, coined by psychologist Albert Mehrabian in 1967.⁵ This model reveals the importance of nonverbal body language as a major form of communication, and also emphasized three communication elements of tone of voice, facial expression, and also the words being spoken.

Through his findings, Mehrabian concluded that our spoken words are actually the least important element in communication. Nonverbal communication through facial expression was the most impactful, followed by the tone used by the speaker.⁵

Understanding Body Language

In order to understand body language, it is important to be aware of the messages and signals that are conveyed through body language. Body language is so important, that there are some celebrities and companies that hire body language experts in order to help them improve their nonverbal messaging.

While it might seem plausible that if you understand body language, you can tell if someone is hiding something- but it is actually more complex than that. Experts use body language as part of a larger context. They take the person’s gender, culture, neurodiversity, and other things into consideration instead of just making a blanket assumption.

Positive Body Language Examples

Positive body language is used to convey trust, support, and happiness. Some examples of these are when someone is smiling, showing active engagement with eye contact, or sports teammates giving each other a high five after a good game.

Examples of positive body language include:

• Smiling: Smiling can be used to show everything from happiness to a welcoming gesture.
• An open posture: An open posture will convey attention, open mindedness, and respect.
• A firm handshake: A firm handshake conveys respect and mutuality.
• Wide eyes: This can be used to convey surprise or thrill.
• Thumbs up: This gesture can be used to convey support and congratulations, or just a simple “that’s fine!”
• Nodding head while listening: This is used to show sincerity and attention to the person who is speaking.
• Eye contact: This is often used to display sincerity and attention. However, it is important to be understanding that some people are not comfortable with direct eye contact- both giving or receiving. Neurodivergent people, for example, might not make full eye contact, but may display their attention in other ways listed above.

Negative Body Language Examples

Just like positive body language, negative body language is used to convey messages to others. Some examples of these are when nonverbal messages are used to show frustration, displeasure, and aggression.

Examples of negative body language include:

• Hands on hips: This gesture can be used to show assertion or confidence.
• A slumped posture: A slumped posture can show despair, boredom, exhaustion, or defeat.
• Arms folded over the chest: This can be used to show assertion or frustration, or discomfort with the environment or one’s body.
• Closed fists: This can be a sign of aggression or frustration, or it could also be a sign that someone is cold.
• Arms thrown up: Arms can be thrown up in a sign of frustration, to say “what the heck!?”
• Inappropriate hand gestures: There are inappropriate and offensive hand gestures that are used to convey negative or harmful messages.
• Shoulders hunched: This can be used to show displeasure, being let down, or feelings of hopelessness or despair.
• Eyes cast down: This is sometimes used to convey inattention or disinterest. However, it is important to be mindful of differences in culture, background, diversity, etc.
• Standing too close: This is sometimes a sign of dominance or aggression.
• Fidgeting: This can often mean that someone is uncomfortable, bored, or anxious. 

When Body Language Is Misleading

When examining body language meaning, it is essential to look at the full context. This means considering the person’s culture, background, gender, history, neurodiversity, etc. As it is almost impossible to know all of these things about a person who we do not know, it is important to be mindful that there could be underlying reasons for body language.

Therefore, if someone exhibits one or two signs of negative body language, such as avoiding eye contact or fidgeting, it is unfair to automatically assume they are doing this to be negative without knowing them. It is common for people to display behaviors that are normal to them, yet may seem negative in another culture, to someone with different intellectual or cognitive abilities, or other areas of diversity.

Learning to Read Body Language

If you want to learn more about how to interpret and read body language better, some things that you should be on the lookout for are body positioning, messages from their eyes, and being aware of their posture.

However, be sure to take the entire situation into consideration, as body language experts agree that not all messages automatically mean the same thing when taken out of context of one’s culture and background.

Six tips for reading body language are:

1. Watch for Microexpressions

A microexpression is an element of body language, such as a facial expression, that only lasts for a quick second. An example of this can be an eyeroll, a sideways glance, or a raised eyebrow. Looking for these microexpressions can give you a clue as to how the person feels.

2. Study the Eyes

Our eyes are often used to enhance spoken or unspoken messages.⁴ Look to the eyes to show evidence of frustration, sincerity, discomfort, among other things.

3. Be Understanding

Assuming something about a person without understanding the entire situation is unfair. Therefore, try not to assume something negative just from seeing one element of their communication. For example, crossed arms do not always mean that they are being aggressive. Sometimes people cross their arms because it is a comfortable way to sit in an armless chair, for example.

4. Consider Environmental Clues

It is important to consider the environment for clues as to what is going on with the person. For example, someone who is standing too close to another person might be seen as aggressive or inappropriate in a large room with a lot of space, yet this same distance would be considered appropriate in a crowded hallway or elevator.

5. Stay Present

You have to be fully present to understand what someone is trying to communicate. Rather than trying to assume something based on a quick glance or interaction, being present will give you a better idea of the whole situation.

6. Look at the Whole Person

Assuming someone is being negative because of one aspect of their body language is illogical because it only gives one element of their communication. They might be showing one aspect of negative communication, such as fidgeting or clenching their fists, but this could be because they are uncomfortable- and not because they are trying to be rude.

When to Seek Professional Help

Because humans are all different, we all will often have different opinions and understanding of others body language and their meanings. However, if you feel that your inability to understand other people’s body language is impacting your life and relationships, it is okay to seek support. For many, this is often how they find out that they have elements of neurodiversity such as autism.

Therapy can help, even if just to normalize your experience.Try using online therapy options to find a specialist or a therapist you feel comfortable with, or checking out an online therapy directory.