How Does Casual Sex Affect Mental Health?

What Is Casual Sex?

Casual sex is a broad term that includes a variety of sexual behaviors that occur outside of the context of a committed romantic relationship and the expectation of having one with that partner in the future. Casual sex includes sexual behaviors such as kissing, petting, intimate touching, oral sex, and intercourse. Casual sex often occurs once between partners but can happen continuously.¹

Under the umbrella of casual sex are hookups, a one-night stand, friends with benefits, and the booty call. These terms, except friends with benefits, which refers to having casual sex with a partner on an ongoing basis, refer to single-time sexual encounters with a partner strictly for the benefits of sexual pleasure and gratification.

Why Do People Have Casual Sex?

While many desire romance and commitment, there are valid reasons for engaging in casual sex. The benefits of casual sex include the enjoyment of physical intimacy without the additional aspects of an ongoing relationship, such as romantic gestures, quality time, emotional intimacy, or life planning. Most humans desire sexual pleasure but don’t always have the time, energy, or desire for these other elements.

Some of the most common reasons for engaging in casual sex include:²

• Trying to get over an ex
• Honing sexual skills
• Enjoying sexual pleasure without commitment
• Reducing stress
• Increasing self-confidence
• Sexual exploration
• Satisfying sexual attraction

Who Has Casual Sex?

The populations that most commonly engage in casual sex include adolescents, young adults, and adults outside of committed relationships, and the practice of casual sex is becoming more common among men and women emerging into adulthood. Studies have shown a range of 50%³ to 70% of adults 18-24 years old⁴ have reported engaging in casual sex.

Factors impacting who has casual sex include the number of prior dating relationships, education status, substance use, perceptions of peer sexual behavior, religious beliefs, self-esteem, and having married parents.³ Religious and cultural prejudices against casual sex created a gendered double standard biased against women, but a review of sexual hookup culture reveals casual sex is “becoming progressively more ingrained in popular culture, reflecting both evolved sexual predilections and changing social and sexual scripts.”⁵

Pros & Cons of Casual Sex

Casual sex, like other sex practices such as monogamy or abstinence, has benefits and drawbacks. Individual factors such as personal desires, needs, and insecurities impact how the pros of casual sex weigh against the cons of the practice. Evaluating both sides and assessing how aligned casual sex is with your values and needs can help you decide if it’s right.

Consider the range of emotions to which casual sex exposes you. On the more enjoyable side, you can experience excitement, pleasure, and confidence. Opposingly, you can experience stress, anxiety, and sexual shame, mainly if you have internalized the cultural stigma of casual sex. There are strategies you can adopt that will increase the likelihood of maximizing pleasure and minimizing negative emotions before, during, and after casual sex encounters.

Casual Sex Benefits

Most humans desire sex but do not always find themselves in a committed relationship that can provide consistent sexual gratification. Relationships take time and effort, and life circumstances or personal preferences do not always align with the commitment of a long-term relationship. Casual sex allows for the benefits of sexual pleasure without the additional pressures or efforts a committed relationship requires.

Common benefits of casual sex include:

• Sexual satisfaction
• Physical intimacy and sexual intimacy
• Feeling attractive
• Potential to meet a long-term partner
• Explore sexuality
• Sexual pleasure without obligation of marriage
• Experimentation
• Stress reduction and increased relaxation

Casual Sex Drawbacks

Some disadvantages of casual sex include increased risks related to physical, mental, and emotional health, as well as the economic and time cost of safe-sex practices recommended when engaging in casual sex, such as birth control and regular STI tests.

Common drawbacks of casual sex include:

• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Unplanned pregnancy
• The economic cost of safe-sex practices
• Difficulty separating sex from romantic attachment
• Increased stress and anxiety
• Feeling used or low self-worth
• Unsatisfying relationships or feeling empty
• Risk of experiencing regret or shame
• Increased risk of vaginal infections

Mental Health Effects of Casual Sex

The impacts of casual sex on mental health are mixed. The brain chemical oxytocin, released when sexually aroused and during orgasm, facilitates bonding and attachment, sometimes interfering with our intention to have strictly casual sex. Becoming attached when that was not the intention of either partner can lead to feelings of rejection, disappointment, and sadness after a casual sexual encounter.

A systematic review examining emotional outcomes of casual sexual relationships found that overall, people reported favorable emotional results.⁶ Increased self-esteem, confidence, sexual pleasure, reduced stress, increased relaxation, and happiness are all benefits found to be associated with casual sex. Less permissive attitudes toward casual sex, alcohol use, and failure to follow safe-sex practices contribute to the likelihood of experiencing negative mental health impacts with casual sex.

Common mental health effects of having casual sex include:

• Depression: Casual sex can lead to decreased satisfaction and low self-worth, especially when not aligned with your personal preferences and values, contributing to a depressed mood.
• Regret: A common experience across genders when engaging in casual sex, particularly if done impulsively and when substances are involved.
• Embarrassment: This can occur when existing insecurities arise outside the context of a secure relationship, and the ability to process them with your partner is limited.
• Feeling used: If one partner is more attached than the other, this can contribute to a power imbalance and one person feeling like they are giving more than they are getting.
• Decreased self-esteem: When casual sex occurs in tandem with less permissive attitudes about the practice, guilt or shame can contribute to a decline in feeling good about oneself.
• Anxiety: Increased risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancy contribute to worry that these outcomes will occur.
• Mood boost: Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are all released in the brain during sexual activity and orgasm, contributing to pleasure, motivation, satisfaction, relaxation, and reduced stress.
• Increased confidence: Exploring sexual partners and practices helps discover who and what you like, contributing to increased confidence in your sexuality.

Myths & Stereotypes About Casual Sex

Many myths and stereotypes exist about casual sex. The stigma around the practice and internalized shame perpetuate these myths because it limits research and open communication about the subject. Negative stereotypes are particularly associated with women who practice casual sex, whereas men are often celebrated for engaging in the same behavior. The lack of inclusion of non-binary folks in the conversation erases them from the collective psyche.

Common myths about casual sex include:

1. Myth #1: Casual sex is inherently disrespectful. It’s not the act of casual sex that lacks respect, but how you go about it can. Communication, boundary-setting, and aftercare are all acts of respect that can be included in casual sex encounters.
2. Myth #2: Casual sex is meaningless. Just because you aren’t planning on having a long-term relationship with your casual sex partner does not mean you can’t value the type of relationship you have.
3. Myth #3: Casual sex is degrading. This myth is particularly relevant to women, reflecting the double standard seen in cultural discourse. Casual sex can be an empowering and liberating choice in the face of oppressive norms like monogamy and sex exclusively within marriage.
4. Myth #4: Casual sex is bad for you. Casual sex is not an all-good or all-bad option. There are risks and benefits, as with anything else.
5. Myth #5: Casual sex is unsafe. More sexual partners and encounters increase the risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancies, but safe sex practices such as regular STI tests, birth control, and protective barriers mitigate these risks and allow casual sex to be done safely.
6. Myth #6: Casual sex is just about sex. Sexual intimacy is a central component of casual sex, but sexual exploration and stress-relief are additional benefits to the practice.
7. Myth #7: Casual sex means penetrative sex. Believing all casual sex is penetrative is a heteronormative stereotype. Other types of sex do not involve genital penetration, such as petting, outercourse, or mutual masturbation, which can be casual and are undoubtedly legitimate.

Is Casual Sex Right for You?

Since casual sex involves risks, benefits, and a mixed bag of emotional outcomes, it can be difficult to decide whether or not to pursue it. Determining if it’s right for you requires self-reflection. Since guilt and regret arise when casual sex does not align with your values, consider if casual sex fits with your own values before proceeding.

Additionally, consider your relationship needs and desires. If you seek romance, casual sex will leave you disappointed rather than satisfied. Familiarity with your sexuality can help determine what you seek in relationships. For example, if you are asexual and experience little to no sexual attraction, you will not likely find casual sex satisfying.

How to Navigate Casual Sex

If you do decide casual sex is right for you and are pursuing it, some strategies can help support you in having a positive experience. Some need to be done in advance on your own, others at the onset of the sexual encounter, and others still as the encounter or ongoing casual sex relationship continues.

Here are a few tips on how to navigate having casual sex:

• Get a STD panel done: Make sure it is long enough after your last sexual encounter that common STIs will show if you are positive (about two weeks) and receive your results. Get treated if needed. Discuss your results and your prospective partner’s STI test practices before having sex.
• Obtain birth control: Use methods that prevent pregnancy, protect you from STIs, and that you are comfortable and confident in using.
• Discuss boundaries beforehand: Confirm both you and your prospective partner desire a casual sex relationship and establish expectations for contact and frequency.
• Look and listen for enthusiastic consent: Just because you aren’t romantic doesn’t mean there’s no respect. Keep checking in with each other to see if they are enthusiastic about the sex and the ongoing nature of the casual sex relationship.
• Be open if you develop feelings: Avoiding them will not make them go away, it only delays the pain you’ll feel if the relationship needs to end because your partner is not interested in developing a romantic relationship.
• Engage your support system: Whether to celebrate your satisfying sexual encounters or process the disappointing ones, talk to the people in your inner circle about your experience. We are human beings who need connection, and you will not be getting emotional intimacy from your casual sex partner.
• Practice aftercare: Whether alone or with your sex partner, aftercare addresses physical, emotional, and psychological needs that, when unmet, contribute to negative outcomes after engaging in casual sex.

When to Seek Professional Help for Casual Sex

It’s normal to experience a range of feelings when engaging in casual sex, and professional help is not always necessary. However, if you are experiencing symptoms such as difficulty sleeping, ceasing to experience pleasure in activities you used to enjoy, or struggling with chronic feelings of worthlessness, you should consider seeing a therapist. You can find a therapist using an online therapist directory, and there are many online therapy platforms to make getting therapy convenient.

In My Experience

In my experience, casual sex is becoming a more widely accepted way of receiving sexual pleasure, exploring sexuality, and enhancing wellbeing. It continues to carry stigma and risks that monogamy does not, but you can minimize these with self-reflection, clear communication, and safe sex practices. All human struggles are better navigated in the community, so if you are struggling with deciding whether or not to pursue casual sex or the ramifications of having already done so, talk to your friends, read up on the subject, or seek professional help. Let other’s experiences and opinions inform you of what is possible, but look to your inner knowing to find what is good and right for you.