Ten Negative Effects of Porn

Is Watching Porn Common?

While it is difficult to determine the exact number of individuals who view pornography accurately, research indicates that men are likelier than women to watch pornography.⁵ In a literature review on frequency among men, researchers found that over 80% of adult men have viewed pornography at some point, and 40-70% have viewed it within the past year.¹

Pornography, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, has been defined as the depiction of erotic behavior intended to cause sexual excitement.⁴ While not everyone will agree on what is or is not pornographic, ancient art and writings have depicted erotic imagery for centuries. However, the word pornography has been around since the mid-1840s, and its visibility in art since ancient times indicates how enduring its appeal is for humans.

Is Watching Porn Ever OK?

Is viewing porn bad, or can viewing porn provide benefits like serving as a pleasurable leisure activity and providing educational benefits regarding sexual identity, sexual orientation, and sexual techniques.⁶ Those who enjoy viewing porn may find many additional benefits in the activity. If a person lacks an intimate partner or is temporarily separated from their partner, the use of pornography can be beneficial and serve to support relational fidelity.

Unfortunately, regarding the effects of pornography on romantic relationships, a sweeping review of the research⁷ found that the overall impact is never universally positive for relationship quality. Partners may feel inadequate or unskilled if they compare themselves to those in pornographic images or videos. They may also harbor negative feelings about their partner’s adequacy or skills through comparison.

10 Negative Effects of Porn

While the desire to view pornography varies across individuals, curiosity about others’ sexual anatomy and sexual activities is not unusual. However, when viewing porn becomes an obsession, compulsion, or addiction, risks to physical functioning, such as erectile dysfunction and delayed orgasm, occur.⁸ It can also harm emotional well-being and relationships. If a person prefers images of BDSM or other kinks, but their partners do not, this may create problems in sexual relationships.

Relationships can be harmed when sexual intimacy between a couple diminishes due to the growing use of pornography. Self-esteem suffers if a partner prefers to engage in masturbation while viewing pornography rather than engage in sexually intimate couple activities. Not living up to the sexual appetite or behaviors in porn videos can make a partner depressed and inadequate.

The ten negative effects of porn are:

1. Partner Feels Threatened by Porn Use

While most people think that jealousy is usually motivated by a partner’s interest in another person, sexual jealousy can also occur when a partner views pornography over spending time with or engaging in sexual activity with their partner. If a partner chooses to seek sexual self-gratification through cyber pornography over being intimate with their partner, it can feel very threatening and very much like infidelity to the partner.

2. Decreased Sexual Satisfaction & Performance

Unfortunately, the more time a person spends viewing other people engaging in performative sexual activities, the less satisfaction they are likely to experience with their partner. Expectations regarding what satisfying sex looks like can be greatly out of proportion to what actual sexual experiences look like. People may feel frustrated by their performance and that of their partner. Further, masturbation during porn viewing can desensitize people to sex with a partner.

3. Can Become Addicted to Porn

It may seem hard to imagine that someone could become addicted to something like pornography, but non-substance-related addictions exist. The symptoms of being addicted to porn include intense, frequent urges to view porn and engagement in its viewing; willingness to risk negative repercussions for the behavior, and functioning in work or relational areas is compromised. Individuals who are addicted to porn may put their jobs at risk, lose friendships, and be unable to establish or maintain a healthy romantic relationship.

4. Can Cause Depression

Researchers have concluded that depression is linked to the overuse of pornography.⁹ This can be a result of several different things. If the viewing of pornography causes guilt for the viewer, the guilt can cause depressive symptoms to develop. If a couple views porn together, a partner may feel lacking in their sexual appeal or prowess, and these feelings of inadequacy can lead to depressive symptoms.

By watching increasing amounts of porn, pathways in the brain resemble those of substance abusers/addicts. As viewing porn becomes increasingly tied to satisfying the need for pleasure, interactions with people and engagement in social activities lose their appeal. Isolation and loss of interest in regular activities diminishes as the time and the need for porn increases as tolerance develops, and these contribute to the potential for depression to take hold.

5. Can Normalize Sexual Abuse

When the type of porn being viewed is dominated by themes that hint at or portray sexual abuse, this can lead to the eventual normalization of sexual abuse of others. As exposure to porn that borders on sexually abusive content grows, tolerance for this type of imagery develops, and even explicitly abusive behaviors become normalized for some viewers. This skewed view of what is “normal” can lead viewers to attempt to replicate sexually abusive and criminal behaviors against willing or unwilling partners.

6. Can Normalize Interpersonal Violence

Similar to viewing sexually abusive imagery in porn, the viewing of interpersonal violence in porn can normalize acting out against partners. There are infinite porn genres, and as a person grows increasingly focused on a particular genre, the need to replicate it in real life with real partners can become strong.

Due to the way the brain works, some viewers cannot become sexually aroused or perform sexually unless they can recreate the porn imagery to which they are attuned. If that imagery includes violence, the desire to act it out may be difficult to resist. When pleasure is associated with another’s pain, it’s a problem.

7. Can Create Unrealistic Expectations

People who view porn may lose the ability to separate “performance” from “real life.” The individuals in porn are specifically engaging in acts designed for the camera and the viewer. The acts depicted may be far beyond the physical ability of the person viewing the images, but the viewer may assume that they are achievable. Even the producers and actors in pornographic videos acknowledge that they are creating unrealistic expectations through the images that are the product of rehearsal and editing.¹⁰

8. Can Diminish Sexual Pleasure With Partner

Over time, viewing significant amounts of porn can lead a person to have unrealistic expectations for sexual activities with partners. Just as people’s tolerance for alcohol increases over time, using porn as a tool for sexual arousal can lead to actual sexual touch between partners to be less stimulating and ineffective in generating sexual arousal. When the emotional aspects of sexual intimacy are separated from the actual sexual activities with a partner, emotional intimacy between partners can decrease.

9. Can Encourage Sexual Infidelity

When a person spends significant time viewing porn, they may experience dissatisfaction with their partner and actively seek a partner beyond their primary relationship. This may be a choice they make due to their partner’s inability to live up to the performances in porn videos or their partner’s inability to meet their desires for frequency or fantasies.

10. Can Lead to Loss of Self-Esteem

Individuals engaged in the overuse of pornography may be trying to minimize their feelings of low self-confidence and low self-esteem. These feelings can also be increased due to the frequent use of porn, creating an infinite loop. Feeling bad about themselves and their inability to establish a healthy romantic or sexual relationship with another person, they may turn to porn as their sexual outlet, leaving them feeling bad about their inability to live out the activities they see on the screen.

For partners of individuals who view porn, they may feel that they cannot compete with the sexual performers in the videos. Comparing themselves to the performers in scripted, directed, and edited videos can easily lead a person to feel that they are less skilled or less attractive than the paid performers.

How to Recover From the Negative Effects of Porn

Watching porn can make people feel shame about their viewing, ignore their regular ongoing responsibilities, shut out people they care about, and diminish their sexual pleasure and ability to perform sexually. It can also lead to financial problems if they are paying for access to content and ruined relationships if porn viewing takes precedence over interacting with a partner.

Acknowledging that porn has become a problem for you is the first step in undoing the harm it has done in your life. Admitting it has become a problem can be difficult as there is still a strong taboo about sex in many families, but sharing your struggles with others can help make you accountable and ready to try out strategies to reduce your consumption and minimize the negative effects it may have caused.

Strategies to recover from the negative effects of porn watching include:

• Pay attention to your behavior related to porn. Like most addictive processes, porn viewing can start slowly and in measured doses. However, usage can ramp up as time passes, and others may notice you have some kind of problem before you do. Pay attention if friends see that you’ve changed or are spending less time with them.
• Become aware of the negative effects porn is having on your career/education. Spending too much time viewing porn can negatively impact your education if you’re not getting assignments done due to time spent viewing porn. It can negatively impact your job if your focus is on finding a few minutes to sneak in viewing, if it’s keeping you from showing up on time, or if you’re cutting out early. Re-focus on your obligations and responsibilities in order to avoid bigger problems down the road.
• Become aware of negative effects porn is having on your relationships. If you’re neglecting your partner’s needs, engaging in less sexual intimacy with them, or comparing your partner to actors in the videos, own up to these behaviors with your partner and resolve to do better. Prioritize the relationships you have with the people who care about you.
• Take responsibility. Once you have acknowledged that you need to reduce or eliminate your viewing time, take responsibility for your past choices and the choices you need to make going forward. Take ownership of your behaviors and the decision to enact changes in how you spend your time.
• Identify your motivation for change. Understanding the goal of changing your behavior will provide you with support and momentum to keep working towards it. Whether it’s more free time to spend with friends, a better sexual relationship with your partner, or a better sense of control over your life, knowing what you’re working for can also help you measure your progress.
• Identify fears associated with not watching porn. Watching porn can become an addiction, just like gambling or other processes. Giving up an addiction or habit can be scary. By identifying your fears about giving up porn, you can break them down and create disputing thoughts about the fear. By acknowledging the fear and then combatting it with a disputing thought, you will be more easily able to reduce or eliminate your viewing time.

How to Heal a Relationship

Sexual intimacy and sexual fidelity are often considered essential and honored aspects of romantic relationships. However, when a partner’s addiction to porn is revealed, the other partner may feel betrayed in a way similar to how they would feel if their partner had cheated on them with a live person. The threat to the relationship is genuine for the partner of a person addicted to porn, and marriage or couples counseling is often recommended.

In the case of any infidelity, trust must be built back up for the relationship to heal. To rebuild trust, offering complete honesty and openness are important steps. Creating clear and mutually agreeable boundaries is also necessary. Both couple members must be willing to work at rebuilding trust and developing fair ground rules that can be adhered to as the couple moves forward.

When to Seek Professional Help

As with any addiction or bad habit, the dangers of it are not usually apparent immediately. However, as a person spends more time potentially money indulging in their habit, the problems multiply quickly. There are multiple ways to find a therapist for individual or couples therapy. Online group therapy is another option and may be more comfortable than in-person therapy for some people.

Signs that a person has a problem with porn that warrants seeking professional help include an inability to stop viewing or seeking out pornography even when they are trying to curtail their use; feeling that their use is out-of-control or somehow unhealthy or wrong, or having their daily routine affected by their use or choosing porn over engaging with people in their lives.¹¹

In My Experience

The past two decades have normalized the “anytime availability” of porn via the Internet and smartphones. However, viewing porn is still difficult for many people to talk about with their partners or even their friends. However, the overreliance on porn for sexual arousal or sexual gratification can create significant issues in otherwise happy couples. Partners must be as upfront with one another about their use of porn, sexual hangups, or sexual needs as they should be about their financial health and circumstances. When any activity is kept from a partner, it must be brought to light. If porn addiction is interfering with normal daily functioning, there are therapies to help a client get unhooked. Honest and straightforward conversations about sex, and the availability of porn, are needed across the lifespan – from puberty through older adulthood.