How to Get Over a Phobia: 11 Ways to Overcome Phobias

Types of Phobias

A phobia is a debilitating fear of something that isn’t as dangerous as the level of fear. While all phobias are characterized by debilitating fear and avoidance of fear, there are different types of phobias. The subtypes of phobias are animals (e.g., spiders), natural environment (e.g., heights or waters), blood injection(e.g., needles or medical procedures), and situational phobias( e.g., elevators on airplanes). In addition, 75% of people who experience a phobia have more than one.¹

What Causes a Phobia?

Specific phobias sometimes develop from traumatic experiences with the trigger or from witnessing someone have a traumatic experience.¹ Other times, people may have generalized anxiety and begin to associate their anxiety/panic with the specific environment they were in at that moment.¹ Another cause is the transmission of information, such as extensive media coverage of a natural disaster.¹

More often than not, people diagnosed with specific phobias don’t remember what triggered their initial fears.¹ Specific phobias generally begin in childhood, peaking around age 10.¹ People with more negative affect, like neuroticism, are more likely to have a specific phobia diagnosis.¹ Some environmental causes include overprotective parents, parental loss or separation, abuse, or other traumatic events.¹

Causes of phobias include:

• Traumatic events
• Witnessing someone else experiencing a traumatic event
• Having a panic attack while being exposed to the object or location (even if the panic attack is not related to the object or location that will create later)
• Genetics¹
• Limited exposure to the stimuli (in early life)
• Noticing caretakers with similar irrational fears or phobias
• A bad experience related to the stimuli (even if the stimuli were not the leading cause of the fear in the primary situation)²

Signs You May Need to Overcome a Phobia

Fear is a natural emotion that alerts us to our surroundings not being safe and helps us avoid dangerous objects and situations. However, phobias are exaggerated fears that trigger a person’s nervous system to move into a fight-or-flight state even though the object or situation is not creating any danger.¹ A phobia can begin to unnecessarily interfere with your life in a negative way, impacting social situations, job tasks, occupation, and career goals. If this is the case, it is time to take steps to overcome the phobia.

Signs you may need to deal with a phobia include:

• You take action to avoid a situation that causes excessive fear
• The fear of the phobia or avoidance is getting in the way of your job, recreation, or socialization
• You find yourself preoccupied with the phobia (planning for it or dreaming about it often)
• Panic and anxiety symptoms are increasing
• You are unable to avoid the phobia-related fear and symptoms for six months or more¹

How to Recognize Your Phobia

Learning to recognize your phobia is the first step to getting over it. Because avoidance is a key symptom of phobias, it can be difficult to recognize a phobia until symptoms become so debilitating that they interrupt your daily life. You can begin to identify your phobia by noticing any negative physical or emotional reactions when around certain people, places, or objects.

Here are some common signs of a phobia:

• Avoidance behavior: The fear that a phobia causes is so intense that it creates avoidance behavior – where the person sometimes goes to great lengths to avoid possible exposure to the thing that can cause them to feel the fear.
• An intense need to remove oneself from the situation: When exposed to the phobia, people often have an intense need to run or remove themself from the situation.
• Increased heart rate: When someone is exposed to fear, their heart will often increase blood flow so that they can respond as needed. Even though the object in a phobia can not cause danger, the body responds as if it will.
• Shakiness or muscle twitches: This is a fear response that activates the muscles so that they can respond to protect themselves.
• Increase in body temperature: Because the fear response is activated and the blood begins pumping faster, a person can also become physically hot.
• Feeling an inability to move: When confronted with their phobia, a person may have difficulty moving, feeling paralyzed from their anxiety. This can exacerbate the fear as they can not escape the situation.
• Jumpiness or hypervigilance: When exposed to the object or situation, a person may become jumpy and experience hypervigilance as the system is on edge, protecting from the phobia.
• Increased isolation: Isolating from others due to embarrassment or avoidance

How to Get Over a Phobia

It is impossible to avoid all the triggers of a phobia, so learning how to manage the inevitable is necessary. Learning healthy coping skills allows a person to manage the symptoms of their phobia. As the person manages the fear, the body may naturally learn that their phobia is not dangerous, which empowers them to overcome their fear and makes avoidance coping unnecessary.

Here are eleven tips for how to get over a phobia:

1. Work on Desensitizing Yourself

Phobias occur because our nervous system has connected the object or situation with a lack of safety. By exposing yourself to your phobia, you routinely tell your system that the object or situation is safer than once thought. Over time, this exposure will result in you becoming desensitized, and you will no longer experience fear when exposed to your phobia. You can make desensitization more effective by using relaxation techniques for anxiety, such as a weighted blanket.

Exposure therapy for anxiety is a type of phobia treatment that works by exposing a person to their phobia in a controlled, safe environment using the actual phobia or a virtual reality exposure. Over time, exposing oneself to their phobia reduces the anxious response. Large amounts of research backing exposure therapy is effective.³

 2. Seek Professional Support

Some people benefit from breathing exercises and meditation; however, many will need professional treatment in addition to these techniques. Aside from exposure therapy, there are numerous types of treatment for phobias that have been researched and proven to work to reduce the effects of phobias.

Professional treatment options for phobias include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy: CBT for anxiety and phobias works by examining the thoughts and beliefs around the phobia. Clients are taught to identify thoughts that occur when exposed to phobia-causing stimuli, assess the accuracy of the thought, and then decide on a more accurate thought to take its place.⁴
• Hypnotherapy: Hypnotherapy for anxiety and phobias works under the assumption that fear responses are subconscious. By relaxing into a trance-like state, the therapist can suggest safety to the subconscious, allowing it to translate into the conscious world.⁵
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR for anxiety is another proven way to treat phobias. Utilizing methods that stimulate both the right and left side of the brain while being exposed through memory or situation to the stimuli has shown decreased distress related to the stimuli.⁶

3. Consider Medication

The most common medication used to treat phobias is benzodiazepines, an anti-anxiety medication that can be taken when anxiety presents itself and takes about 15 minutes to take effect. Antidepressants are also sometimes used in the case of social phobias. These medications are typically prescribed by general practitioner doctors, psychologists, or psychiatric nurse practitioners.

4. Focus on Your Breathing

Sometimes, we hold our breath as a freeze response. During high-stress situations, people often breathe rapidly, with shallow breaths. By learning breathing techniques for anxiety, we teach the body to relax, telling the brain we are safe. While these techniques are sometimes not easy when we are the most anxious, they can be very helpful when practiced regularly.

There are countless breathing techniques that can be helpful. One technique is to even out the length of the inhale and exhale. For instance, Inhale for a count of 4 and exhale to a count of 4 three or four times. If using the number 4 is too difficult, it can be reduced to 3. If it is too easy, feel free to start with 5.

5. Begin a Daily Meditation Practice

There are many different types of meditation for anxiety, some of which can be very helpful in managing phobias. Many concentrate on slowing the body and thought systems, which ultimately slows the response system and decreases stress. One way to explore various meditation techniques is to use a meditation app like Headspace to experience guided meditation.

One meditation technique is to notice the thoughts in your head as they pass. While practicing this meditation, you would not latch the thoughts or try to figure them out but rather simply watch them pass one at a time. It can be helpful to attach thoughts to visualizations such as a leaf, cars moving on a train, or clouds.

6. Listen to Hemi-Sync

Hemi sync, or brainwave synchronization, utilizes a combination of binaural beats for anxiety and music alternating to relax the body. It can be used during a state of fear or in preparation for fear so that a person does not have to resort to avoidance.

Hemi sync can be found on music and video platforms. You must listen to it using headphones as it alternates between ears. It is a very effective way to relax for those who have difficulty concentrating on meditation and would like similar calming effects.

7. Lean on Your Loved Ones

It can be tempting to be secretive about your phobia for fear of judgment. However, it can be very helpful for people around you to know so that you are not alone in the difficult journey. It is important to confide in people you can trust and who can support you without judgment.

Examples of ways people can support you include reminding you of coping mechanisms when you need them, encouraging you to fight your urges to avoid the phobia, reminding you about logical reasons you are safe even when you do not feel safe, or practicing grounding techniques.

8. Find a Support Group

Opening up to your loved ones can be beneficial; however, you may continue to feel isolated and like you are the only one experiencing the fear. Finding an in-person or online support group can help you feel less lonely in your phobia and increase motivation to do the difficult things that may help the phobia. It can also allow space for you to share techniques that have helped you overcome the phobia.

9. Tell Someone Around You

Sometimes, your support group is not around when you are feeling the anxiety that’s caused by your phobia. In this case, telling someone who appears calm and trustworthy around you that you are nervous can be helpful. When you tell someone nearby you are nervous, it might help to know that someone is there to support you.

It isn’t always possible to identify a safe person when you are anxious, so this might not work in every situation. But it can be a great way to manage it in a moment where you may become extremely anxious and have a hard time functioning.

10. Educate Yourself

Part of the reason that phobias can be debilitating is that it is hard to convince yourself that you are safe. If you spend some time educating yourself about the thing that you are phobic about, you can remind yourself that you are safe and why you are safe. By finding facts, you have a way to question the irrational thoughts that develop in fear.

In addition to gaining information to question your thoughts, educating yourself about the stimuli also gives you a small amount of exposure to the object or situation in a safe environment. This gives the nervous system small cues that the response is safer than once thought and can reduce phobic symptoms and experiences.

11. Use Healthy Distraction

If you can distract yourself when you are anxious, you can tolerate your phobia without ruminating about how it feels. The best distraction techniques are activities that make you think hard or problem-solve, such as puzzles. When we problem-solve, we use a different part of our brain, which can distract us from irrational fear.

Practicing Patience When Getting Over a Phobia

When working through a phobia, patience and persistence are very important. Getting over a phobia is usually gradual, and it takes numerous exposure to your phobia, with a lot of professional support. Exposure to your phobia can cause extreme discomfort before you begin to notice changes. Due to the difficulty of the process, dropout rates are very high. However, with persistence research has shown that symptoms can decrease, and one can recover.³

If a person attempts to rush the process of overcoming a phobia, they may flood their system with extreme fear, potentially making it worse. When fear and anxiety are too intense, it can be impossible to use the necessary skills to tell the body that you are safe, making the process less effective or ineffective.

Where to Find Professional Help for Overcoming Phobias

When you are ready to find a therapist, it is important to make sure you are comfortable with the person, the style of therapy, and the type of therapy they plan to use. As you search for a therapist, it is important that you find the right fit for you. Having an idea of the type of therapy you are looking for can be helpful in your search.

An online therapist directory allows you to sort through therapists quickly, and you can limit your search to specification. If you are looking for medication management and therapy in the same place, an online therapy platform like Thriveworks could be a great choice. You can also go through your primary care provider, who may have a list of therapists they trust.