Called pathological liars, compulsive liars, or habitual liars, these individuals have a strong tendency to lie or exaggerate. Typically, they have no regard for the truth. Living or working with a pathological liar can be a trying experience, so it is best to identify the issue and establish a course of action to reduce the risks.
What Is a Pathological Liar?
A pathological liar is a person who lies at a high frequency and has no regard for the repercussions of their lies. They will lie to anyone at any time about any issue. The lies could be big or small, detailed or vague, or orchestrated or spontaneous. For pathological liars, it seems their only goal is to lie.
If someone lies a lot, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re a pathological liar. Typical lies have a clear purpose, including to avoid trouble, gain benefit, or impress someone. A pathological liar differs from normal lying behavior based on the frequency, the duration, and the goal of their lies.3
The lies that a pathological liar tells are:2
- Lies that are extensive and overly complicated
- Lies and patterns of lying that last for years or a lifetime
- Lies that are disproportionate or unrelated to any end goal
- Lies that are not a result of another mental or medical health condition
Based on these factors, pathological lying could be defined as “a persistent, pervasive, and often compulsive pattern of excessive lying behavior that leads to clinically significant impairment of functioning in social, occupational, or other areas.”2
Other characteristic of pathological lying are:2
- It causes marked distress to the individual
- It poses a risk to others
- It occurs for longer than 6 months
Pathological liars may also be called:1
- Compulsive liars
- Habitual liars
- Chronic liars
- People with mythomania
- People with pseudologia fantastica
5 Signs of a Pathological Liar
Because their lies are often concealed well, a pathological liar may be well disguised among other people. With time, the pattern of untruths and inconsistencies may become more apparent. For the most part, though, pathological lies will blend in with the truth, making these statements challenging to discern. Even discovering the lies may not be enough to stop the liar from telling them.
Here are five signs of a pathological liar:1,3
- Speaking in vague or general terms: Some liars will try to avoid the future distress of having to recall what lies they told to which people by keeping information loose and vague. Even something benign like their hometown or high school can turn into a long story with no solid answer. The goal of this behavior is to keep their answer from conflicting with any lies they may have told in the past.
- Being overly specific or detailed: Alternatively, a liar may offer stories with numerous fine points and details. The plan here is to be so specific that no one could possibly question the truthfulness of the story because the details are convincing.
- Inconsistencies in stories: Pathological liars will not have a perfect memory, so it is only a matter of time before they slip up by confusing one lie for another. Hearing multiple responses to the same question will be a way to identify a pathological liar.
- Failure to commit to plans or often cancelling plans: A pathological liar can avoid making plans or may make plans and frequently cancel. This is because they need to keep their options open for other opportunities.
- Becoming angry and defensive when questioned: A liar will make excuses when caught in a lie. When the other person’s patience is thin, the liar may become angry or defensive to take the focus off of their lies.
5 Characteristics of Pathological Lying
The seeming randomness and unimportance of pathological lies may surprise people. Some lies will have no influence or impact on a relationship or situation whatsoever. Any story, situation, or exaggeration a person can imagine may become a pathological lie. Specific lies are endless, but they often have commonalities.
Pathological lies share these five characteristics:1,3
- Frequent: Pathological liars lie more often than others and average about ten lies per day. In terms of frequency, the lies could all be variations of the same lie or 10 separate lies. To the liar, the actual lie may not be as important as the process of lying.
- Long in duration: Studies show that pathological liars will continue with the excessive lying for at least six months. They may continue with a lie over the long-term, or they may move from lie to lie with fluidity. Pathological liars are typically able to maintain a lie for years.
- Lacking purpose: Pathological lies are confounding because they serve no purpose and accomplish no goal. A liar may say that their favorite color is blue when it is actually orange or that their favorite food is pizza when it is really lobster. This lie does not benefit the liar, but they say it anyway.
- Stress inducing: The non-pathological liar usually states a lie in an attempt to reduce stress in the moment, but pathological liars experience higher rates of stress from lying. The stress may come from the intricacy of ongoing lies and the risk of being caught by friends or loved ones.
- Self-incriminating and defeating: Standard lies can get a person out of trouble, but pathological lies get people into trouble. Pathological liars may lose their job, relationships, and public standing because the lies become too ridiculous or numerous.
8 Ways to Deal With a Pathological Liar
If you can’t avoid a pathological liar, there are ways to manage, including building your case, always considering the source, preparing for denial, setting realistic goals, becoming a team with a common goal, seeing a mental health professional, and, when all else fails, cutting ties.
Here are eight ways to deal with a pathological liar:
1. Avoid When Possible
Pathological liars can quickly drain your energy and increase your stress. If you can avoid this person or keep a healthy boundary between you and them, do so. Otherwise, you may become involved in a relationship that feels thankless and unrewarding.
2. Build Your Case
Before you even consider speaking to the person, spend time gathering specific information about their lies. Take note of what they said, who they said it to, and your reactions to these lies. With this concrete information, they may be forced to admit their issue.
3. Consider the Source
True pathological lying may not be connected to a mental or physical health condition, but other conditions are connected to lying. Any of these conditions may increase a person’s rate of lying, so considering the source can guide your process.
Consider whether the individual has one of the following conditions:2
- Antisocial personality disorder (ASPDP)
- Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
- Attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
- Bipolar disorder
- Dementia
4. Prepare for Denial
Anger, hostility, surprise, confusion, shock, and denial are all possible outcomes of a discussion about lying with a pathological liar. Be sure to stay patient and never confront the person when they’re angry or annoyed.
5. Become a Team
Rather than establish an adversarial relationship, become a team with a common goal of decreasing the lies. Let them know what you are willing to do to help the cause, and that they can let you know what they need. This approach ensures that the enemy is the lie, not the person doing the lying.
6. Set Realistic Goals
Of course, you want your loved one to stop lying immediately and never lie again, but that goal may not be realistic. When unrealistic goals are set, all parties feel let down and discouraged when they don’t work out.
Instead, establish goals that are attainable and helpful. Once those goals are achieved, you can set new goals that are slightly more strict to slowly shape the lying behaviors in the desired direction.
7. Consult With Professionals
By definition, pathological issues fall outside of the range of normal behaviors. Try as you might, these situations may be too complicated or challenging for you and your loved ones to resolve.
Professionals like therapists and mental health prescribers can work to quickly and effectively address and treat the issues. Perhaps they will focus on an underlying or related issue that triggers lying, or they could attack the falsehoods directly.
8. Know When to Cut Ties
No matter how hard you try or how much time you commit, you may be unable to deal with a pathological liar. Over time, they may only strain your resources and create anger, sadness, and confusion. Establishing and following through on these boundaries can be uncomfortable but essential.
Treatment for Pathological Liars
One of the first things a mental health professional will do when assessing a person who lies excessively will be to search for another disorder that produces the behavior.
Lying is associated with many mental health conditions like:1,4
- Borderline personality disorder
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Addictions and substance use disorders,
- Gambling disorder
Regardless of the source, people who frequently lie can benefit from therapy, psychiatric care, and a number of lifestyle changes.
Other beneficial activities include:4
- Getting or staying physically active
- Avoiding alcohol and other drugs
- Joining a support group
- Reducing stress through relaxation, meditation, or yoga
- Staying in touch with friends and family
Don’t wait to start the process of finding a therapist. Many wonderful therapists are available to assist with pathological lying and all of the issues that go along with it. Getting help today can dramatically improve your situation.
Final Thoughts on Pathological Lying
Dealing with a pathological liar is troubling, but being a pathological liar can be frustrating and difficult, too. With this level of lying, no one wins, so take steps towards recovery by recognizing and addressing the concern with a professional counselor or licensed therapist. Remember, although pathological lying can be isolating for the liar and the person being lied to, you’re not alone.
