Self-Care for Teens: 6 Types & How to Begin

What Is Self-Care for Teens?

Self-care for a teenager is any activity that helps them recharge their emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental batteries. A common misconception is that self-care requires money; however, self-care is really about checking in with oneself about how they are feeling and what they need. By honoring those needs and validating the inner self, teens can resolve overwhelming feelings of stress to accomplish their goals.

It is important to acknowledge that teenagers will have different needs than younger children or adults; more so, each person will have needs that are unique to them. Therefore, everyone’s self-care practice should be unique to what their spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental needs are. If we honor our needs and validate our inner selves, then there is no wrong way to practice self-care.

Why Self-Care for Teens Is Important

Teens face unique issues and stressors, like balancing school, sports, and college or work applications. Additionally, they may experience peer pressure and bullying. Using self-care to cope with these stressors will help teens navigate their daily stressors more successfully while maintaining a positive outlook on life. Starting a self-care practice at this age will set teens up for success in adulthood.

Self-care can help teenagers cope with:

• Anxiety: Self-care routines around mindfulness, relaxation, movement, and joyful activities can help teenagers with anxiety by reducing cortisol in the brain. This turns off the brain’s ‘fight or flight’ response, which causes a lot of physical symptoms of anxiety, such as a racing heart or tensing muscles.
• Depression: Symptoms of depression can often involve the breakdown of meaningful activities and routines, such as social withdrawal and poor personal hygiene. Self-care routines to help teenagers with depression can involve connecting with friends, journaling about feelings, and maintaining good personal care in terms of hygiene, sleep, and diet.
• Low self-esteem: Low self-esteem involves feeling unworthy of happiness and is characterized by emotional invalidation. Self-care routines around assertive communication and honoring the inner self can help teens develop self-confidence and a feeling of overall worthiness.¹
• Impacts of social media: Cyberbullying, body image issues due to overexposure to heavily filtered photos online, and the addictive nature of social media are some of the negative impacts of social media on teenagers. Self-care can include activities that limit screen time to prevent this over-exposure.
• Burnout: As a culture, constant productivity is highly promoted. However, being in a constant state of action makes a teen vulnerable to burnout. Taking time to rest is key to recharging batteries to continue to perform well in school, sports, and elsewhere in life.
• Relationships: Someone who had a bad day may be more prone to irritability, and conflict can occur. Alternatively, someone who is more passive may neglect their own needs in favor of the needs of another person. By taking the time to care for self-care, teens can learn self-respect and respect for others in relationships.

Types of Self-Care Activities for Teens

Self-care for teens includes physical, emotional, spiritual, creative, and professional self-care. Teens have all sorts of needs to address, and different types of self-care are required to address those different needs. For example, if a teenager notices they are too overwhelmed in school to concentrate, then self-care can revolve around emotional wellness. Alternatively, if a teen is experiencing chronic exhaustion, physical self-care may be more appropriate at that moment.

1. Physical Self-Care

Physical self-care involves caring for our physical bodies. Addressing physical health needs, like taking care of health conditions we have or sleeping enough each night, can remove obstacles in the way of teens meeting different goals, including academic performance, emotional regulation², career development, and relationship development.

Here are a few examples of physical self-care for teens:

• Finding an exercise routine you enjoy, whether it is sports, dance, or yoga
• Eating regularly and mindfully throughout the day, rather than skipping meals or overeating
• Keeping a consistent sleep schedule and aiming for 7-9 hours of sleep each night
• Avoiding mood-altering substances, like illicit drugs and alcohol

2. Emotional Self-Care

Emotional self-care involves caring for our inner self. By providing that care for us, we honor our needs and validate our feelings, which helps us overcome negative experiences. Any activities that allow teens to identify their emotions, process what they are feeling, connect with others in a meaningful way, and boost their mood can be added to a self-care routine.

Here are a few examples of emotional self-care for teens:

• Incorporating a daily mindfulness practice for teens, whether via an in-person class, mindfulness app, or YouTube videos
• Journaling about your mental health when feeling emotionally distressed
• Utilize morning positive affirmations to start your day on the right foot
• Find relief from stress through laughter and play³
• Use statements of gratitude to redirect your focus from what isn’t working in your life to what is⁴

3. Social Self-Care

Social self-care refers to activities that allow teens to have and maintain meaningful social connections with friends, family, and peers. We all feel a need for connection with others – even if we feel we are more introverted.  Social self-care can be practiced through games, hobbies, or other mediums of shared interest with others.

Here are a few examples of social self-care for teens:

• Spending time with friends in person and away from technology
• Setting boundaries with people who are toxic at school/extracurricular activities/religious gatherings
• Participating in a support group with peers, either hosted by the school or in the community
• Spending time with family pets
• Having meaningful connections with family, such as family dinners

4. Creative Self-Care

Self-care moves beyond taking care of our mind and body into the realm of connecting with our soul. Creativity allows people to connect with what they are passionate about. Through meaningful expression of their true selves, teens are able to improve their self-confidence and sense of identity. Creative activities can also be an effective medium to explore challenging emotions.⁵

Here are a few examples of creative self-care for teens:

• Listening to music that is either happy or sad, depending on what emotions feel appropriate
• Creating art that does not need to be perfect or for a specific school project
• Writing a story or poem about what you have been feeling or experiencing
• Using color to express emotions in painting or coloring
• Creating a collage-inspired vision board to manifest your goals and inspire yourself to achieve them

5. Spiritual Self-Care

Spirituality refers to any connection to whatever each individual person considers to be sacred. Spirituality can include organized religion but does not have to. A spiritual practice is unique to each person, and it’s most important to practice what holds meaning for you. Practicing spiritual self-care can help teens feel connected to others, have a sense of hope for their futures, and be reminded of the good.⁶

Here are a few examples of spiritual self-care for teens:

• Listening to music that makes you feel uplifted
• Attend an event organized for teens at your local worship center
• Using prayer to communicate with your higher power
• If prayer isn’t for you, use meditation practices
• Connecting with your deeper self through journaling or focusing on what you value
• Reading stories or listening to speakers that inspire you
• Read Christian books for teens

6. Professionally Supported Self-Care

Professionally supported self-care is when teenagers use formal support to cope with life’s stress and challenges. Finding a therapist who is trained in teenage issues can help teens feel validated and less alone in their experiences. A professional can help guide teens toward developing a unique self-care plan after helping the teens identify what their needs are.

Sometimes, it’s hard to figure out what we need in a moment or find the words to ask for it. Teens who are unable to express themselves or identify their needs are more likely to develop unhealthy coping skills like self-harm or substance use. This is because, without effective self-care, we don’t have adaptive coping skills and are less likely to develop resiliency.

Here are a few examples of professional self-care for teens:

• Beginning therapy with a therapist who specializes in teen care
• Set up a meeting with the school counselor
• Attending a support group or therapy group either in school or in the community
• Visit a spiritual center you are connected to and speak to a priest, rabbi, or other key member of the community
• Talk to a teacher in your school you trust to ask for help

How to Build a Self-Care Routine

Each person is unique, and therefore, each person’s self-care routine will be unique. Developing a self-care routine takes time and some trial and error. Teens can try out different techniques to see what works best for them based on the needs they are able to identify. Self-care routines can also change over time as a teen and their needs change.

Here are some tips for how to build a self-care routine:

• Put yourself first: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Acknowledge that self-care allows you to meet your responsibilities better because it allows you to rest, heal, and find meaning in your daily life. Recognize your self-worth – it is just as important to care for yourself as it is for others or for your responsibilities.
• Notice what makes you feel grounded: Feeling grounded is being connected to the present moment rather than being lost in thought. Anything that connects you to the world around you would be an effective action for feeling grounded.
• Find out what fills your cup: Take time to identify what you need and which areas of your life need attention. From there, you can explore different activities that help refill your cup.
• Create a self-care checklist: A self-care checklist is a list of meaningful activities that you create to remind yourself to practice a self-care routine.
• Make small changes: Making big changes can feel daunting, and most people would be less likely to follow through with them. Smaller changes feel more realistic. As we see success with small changes, it can lead to making bigger changes over time.
• Switch it up: Self-care is a living document. This means that as you change, your plan changes with you. As you find strategies are no longer effective or different needs come to your awareness, make adjustments to your routine so that it continues to work for you.
• Find support: Rely on your support system where you can. Find others to participate in activities with and to help hold you accountable to your routine.

How to Know If Your Self-Care Routine is Working

Check in with yourself regularly to find out if your self-care routine is working for you. Establish a time frame for checking in with yourself, perhaps every seven days. Checking in can be a journaling exercise or a dialogue with yourself. Ask yourself how your mood and energy levels have been and evaluate which pieces of your self-care routine are working and which ones are not.

You can also check in with valued friends, family members, or faculty at school to see if they have noticed any changes. Do you appear to be happier? Are your grades improving? Are you spending more time with others? Other areas we can see improvement in would be sleeping better, having a better appetite, feeling less overwhelmed or irritable, and feeling overall more hopeful.

Self-Care Practices When in School

Self-care in school would be anything that does not interrupt the school day, allowing you to decompress from overwhelming stress that may impact your academic performance and overall wellness. Advocate for yourself or ask for the help of a trusted adult to connect with your school counselor and teacher to explore how self-care can be incorporated into your school day.

Here are some self-care ideas for teens to practice when in school:

• Stretching: Stretching tense muscles can be done in your chair by pointing and flexing your toes, rolling your neck, or relaxing your jaw. With a teacher’s permission, you can stand up from your desk, go to the hallway or school counselor’s office, to use mindful movement to release tension.
• Listening to music: Listening to music can help change your mood, improve your concentration, and increase creativity.⁷ A plan can be made with your teacher and school counselor for this accommodation in the classroom. Explore if music classes or clubs are available to you during the school day.
• Using a fidget toy: Using a fidget, if allowed by the school, can be a good way to burn anxious energy and meet sensory needs in the classroom. An effective fidget toy would be something that does not disrupt class with sounds or lights.
• Taking a relaxing breath: Breathwork, such as 4-7-8 breathing, is an inobtrusive technique to regulate your nervous system without drawing attention to yourself or disrupting the classroom.⁸
• Using mindful observation exercises: Mindful observation exercises are techniques that help us feel grounded. The 54321 method is often recommended for grounding and is accessible to use in the classroom.
• Staying hydrated: Bring a water bottle and make sure that you drink the recommended daily intake of water.⁹ This can give your body and your mind what it needs to stay well.
• Writing it out: If you are cycling through anxious thoughts and they are distracting you from your lesson, take a moment to write down what you are thinking. This can be a good exercise to release that anxious feeling and refocus on class.

How to Overcome Self-Care Challenges for Teens

Potential challenges or barriers to teens practicing self-care can include fear of judgment, poor motivation for change, or not knowing where to start. These challenges can make it feel impossible to start with self-care. However, we can overcome each challenge to begin a self-care routine.

Here are some ways to overcome common self-care challenges for teens:

Time Constraints

Teens have busy schedules – classes, jobs, chores, friends, college applications, sports, and clubs. It can seem impossible to balance everything at once. Teens may avoid starting what feels like another obligation, a self-care routine, to avoid feeling even more overwhelmed.

Self-care can be flexible and can be as simple as a five-minute breathing exercise between stressful activities. Practicing self-care reduces stress and allows people to meet their daily responsibilities better. Self-care isn’t an obligation- it is a chance to feel relaxed.

Peer Pressure

Pressure from peers can be another barrier. Teens may feel they have to engage in activities that don’t align with their true goals due to fear of judgment or bullying from others around them. Therefore, teens neglect their self-care and personal needs in favor of what they feel they need to do to fit in.

Potential solutions to the problem of peer pressure can include connecting with others who share the same values and asking for support from your family or school officials. Check in with yourself on how you feel, and validate those feelings with action. Develop a plan ahead of time, or practice saying ‘no’ to requests you don’t agree with. Also, you need to know that you do not owe your peers any details or explanation of how you spend your time.

Family Dynamics

Family dynamics can impact a teen’s ability to practice self-care. Teens may feel unsupported at home or may be subject to abuse. Teens may have responsibilities to the family that can feel overwhelming, such as acting as a caregiver to another family member or doing things that parents feel are important for the family’s reputation. These conditions can make self-care feel inaccessible.

Talking to your parents openly may help them better understand what your needs are, such as feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities and needing a break. If talking to your parents is not possible due to situations of abuse, connect with a trusted adult, such as another family member or school office, for additional support.

Unrealistic Expectations

Some teens may begin a self-care routine but may not see the desired results right away, which can lead to teens abandoning those routines due to them not working. Instant gratification, or the instant benefit of a self-care routine, is not the outcome to expect; however, we can expect to see meaningful changes over time.

Practicing patience, using journaling or check-ins, and workshopping effective self-care activities can help you feel engaged in your routine. Checking in at regular intervals can allow you to track your progress over time, even if that progress comes in small pieces. Remind yourself that good things take time.

Feeling Guilty or Unworthy

Some teens may be unable to start a self-care routine due to feeling guilty about taking time away from responsibilities or expectations to practice self-care. Some teens may not feel like they have ‘earned’ the time to use self-care and must continue to work despite needing rest. These thoughts are linked with self-esteem and anxiety and will worsen feelings of burnout in teens.

If you are feeling guilty or unworthy, try dialectical thinking, which is the idea that two thoughts can feel like opposites but co-exist together. Examples of dialectic thoughts that can be used to challenge feelings of guilt about starting self-care routines can be, “I feel guilty about taking time for myself, but I deserve rest,” or “I feel like I need to study all night, but I know I will think better if I get a good night’s sleep.”

Challenges of Change

Change is hard to start and hard to maintain at first. Fear of change or challenges with maintaining a new routine can have some teens feeling unmotivated about starting something new. Change is scary because it feels big and unknown. Overcoming this challenge is breaking down that change into smaller bites.

You can establish a small goal for a small change at first. Small goals can be setting a small increase in water intake, taking one moment for a thought of gratitude, or setting a few minutes aside for mindful movement. Once you have completed the task, celebrate it! Celebration reinforces positive change in your brain and helps you stay motivated to continue.

How to Help a Teen With Self-Care

Parents play an important role in ensuring their teens practice self-care, both by suggesting when self-care is needed and aiding in the self-care itself. Helping a teen with self-care can involve modeling different self-care techniques and offering to practice self-care together. Starting a dialogue on self-care is important, as well as connecting a teen with a therapist or counselor when parental aid is not enough.

Here are some ways to help a teen with self-care:

Practice Open Communication

The hardest part of talking to your teen about self-care is starting the conversation. Finding the right time and the right thing to say can be difficult. Parents may be fearful about how their teens will respond. However, starting the dialogue earlier will allow your teen more time to establish a self-care routine and address their mental health needs.

Here are a few examples of how to talk to your teen about their self-care:

• “I noticed you seem to be more stressed lately; why don’t we go for a walk and talk about how you have been feeling?”
• “I see this school year has been really busy; how are you feeling with it?”
• “I can remember how hard it was for me at your age, and I wanted to check in with you to see how you’re feeling.”
• “I have started a self-care routine, and I wanted to share some of the things I have found to be helpful.
• “When do you most notice those feelings of stress in your day?”
• “Where do you most feel relaxed?”

Set an Example

Parents can lead by example and demonstrate to their teens open communication and effective self-care. You can tell your teen about moments self-care has been helpful for you and invite them to join you for your own self-care rituals. You can also establish family check-ins to maintain open communication and get in the habit of talking about needs.

Create a Helpful Environment

A helpful environment is one where your teen can feel safe to ask for help or have access to a resource to navigate current stress. Parents can create that safe space by avoiding aggressive communication with teens in the home, keeping literature to reference about mental health needs and activities teens can use to practice self-care, such as adult coloring books, workbooks, or puzzles.

Be Positive & Accepting

Using positive affirmations or positive reinforcements can help your teen feel more confident and motivated to make changes. Affirming that they are doing right by themselves by taking time for self-care, rather than ignoring their needs, can encourage them to continue to build self-care routines into adulthood. Accept your teen as they are and provide them with the best support.

Connect With Community

Supports are available in the community for your teen, you, and your family. Support groups can provide a safe place to process stressors, validate feelings, and learn new self-care activities. Make sure your teen stays connected with their doctor, dentist, and other health care providers to reduce distress caused by physical health needs. A therapist in the community can provide additional support for those who need it.

Take Care of Yourself, Too

Remember your needs as a parent, too. Make sure your cup is full enough to be present for your teen, whether that be through maintaining your own self-care routine, connecting with a therapist in the community, or seeing your own healthcare providers.

What to Do If Your Teen Doesn’t Think They Need Self-Care

It isn’t unusual for your teen to initially be resistant to starting a new routine. It can feel overwhelming to make changes, and they may not understand what self-care is and how it can help. Defining self-care together and opening the dialogue on how you have established a self-care routine and how it has helped you can be a good start.

Working together with your teen to help them establish new routines can be an effective way to support your teen. These activities can include sitting for family dinner together, using kind words when talking, and going on walks together. Make it accessible to your teen by emphasizing money isn’t needed to practice self-care, and it doesn’t have to look glammed up like it does online.

When to Seek Professional Support

Parents may notice that their teen’s behavior and mood are changing before the teen notices the changes for themselves. Some of these changes can look like eating more or eating less, sleeping more or sleeping less, irritability, tearfulness, isolating themselves, increasing substance use, or increasing self-harm. These changes can be indicative of declining mental health, burnout, and significant distress. If you notice these changes, it is important to seek professional help for your teen. Using an online therapist directory or online therapy platform for teens can be helpful in finding someone who specializes in what your teen is experiencing and is accessible to them.