ADHD masking is a coping skill people with ADHD may use to hide their symptoms and fit into societal norms. Masking often means overcompensating for perceived deficits by suppressing natural emotional reactions, working harder on tasks, or adopting the mannerisms of others. This tactic may seem helpful but can lead to low self-esteem, superficial relationships, and anxiety.
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What Is ADHD Masking?
ADHD masking is behaving in specific ways to conceal the symptoms of ADHD. A person with ADHD can actively and intentionally mask, or they may do so subconsciously.1,2 Someone can become adept at masking, and those around them may never notice or know they have ADHD.
While these methods may allow people to better blend into society, masking symptoms for too long can impede their happiness and well-being. They may even deny or ignore the impact ADHD symptoms have on their lives.
ADHD Masking Vs. Managing ADHD
Masking ADHD symptoms differs from managing symptoms, as masking means hiding ADHD characteristics to conform to the expectations of others. Managing ADHD involves reducing the impact of symptoms through therapy, medication, or organizational tools and strategies. Masking can help a person function but also lead to anxiety and depression.
Signs of ADHD Masking
People with ADHD mask their symptoms to fit in and avoid judgment from others. They may mimic the behaviors of people without ADHD, hide their struggles, make excuses for being distracted or late, or hold back emotions to avoid appearing “too much.” Masking often starts in childhood and continues into adulthood.
Below are common signs of masking in ADHD:
- Mimicking the speech or body language of others
- Suppressing emotions when excited or overwhelmed
- Making up excuses for being late
- Focusing intently during conversations
- Suppressing the urge to fidget or move
- Studying excessively for tests or job interviews
- Putting in extra work to complete tasks
- Attempting to hide that one was distracted by asking a person to repeat the question
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When Do People With ADHD Start Masking?
ADHD masking is often a learned response to the environment and perception of mental health. Individuals who view their diagnosis as a part of their identity may not feel the need to engage in these behaviors. However, others may learn they should feel ashamed of their condition, thus resulting in the adoption of ADHD masking in childhood.2
Alternatively, ADHD masking may not emerge until later in life. Consider a person whose symptoms do not affect them much until they reach college or start a new job. The same could be true for someone who leaves a supportive environment for a more rigid or critical one. Depending on the setting, someone with ADHD may feel more or less inclined to participate in masking.
Can High Intelligence “Mask” ADHD Symptoms?
High intelligence allows people to “compensate” for their symptoms of ADHD. For example, individuals can perform well academically or at work with little extra effort. They can use their intelligence to develop strategies and systems for completing tasks and staying organized. These masking techniques help support productivity and success but are mentally exhausting, often leading to ADHD burnout.
ADHD Masking in Females Vs. Males
Girls and women with ADHD more frequently exhibit inattentive than hyperactive symptoms like their male peers. ADHD masking in women can present as making lists, studying intently at school, or resisting the urge to speak up. Constantly struggling to meet societal expectations and compensate for perceived deficits can contribute to mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion.
In males, ADHD masking may look different. They may work hard to appear calm and controlled to hide hyperactivity or suppress their emotions to fit in with peers. Boys receive an ADHD diagnosis more frequently than girls, likely due to these differences in symptom presentation and masking behaviors.3
Why Do People With ADHD Mask?
ADHD Masking is an individualized process. A person could desire to mask all symptoms or only ones they perceive as unfavorable or disruptive. In short, how a person masks will depend on their current environment, surroundings, and personal preferences.
Symptoms a person with ADHD may mask include:1,4
- Making careless mistakes
- Difficulty concentrating
- Not listening to others
- Losing items easily
- Forgetfulness
- Fidgeting
- Excessively talking and/or interrupting others
- Struggling to relax, unwind, or engage in leisure activities
How Common Is ADHD Masking?
When and how a person with ADHD masks depends on various factors, such as culture and environment. For example, individuals with jobs or obligations that require focus, concentration, and high performance may feel more pressure to mask. In childhood, children with parents who expect quiet and obedience will likely hide their symptoms more than those with encouraging caregivers.
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ADHD Masking Examples
ADHD masking is a set of coping skills or behaviors that help individuals conform to social expectations. These can include strategies for remembering responsibilities (i.e., lists and checklists), time management (i.e., timers and reminders,) and appearing less distracted (i.e., listening intently).
Here are some examples of ADHD masking:
- Writing everything down to avoid forgetting something
- Arriving early to events to avoid being late
- Setting multiple timers and reminders
- Creating systems and routines for getting things done
- Staying silent in conversations
- Resisting the urge to fidget
- Using voice navigation while driving to avoid missing turns
ADHD Masking & Mirroring
ADHD mirroring is another type of masking in ADHD. In these cases, individuals mimic others to appear “normal” or neurotypical. ADHD mimicking includes copying behaviors, actions, interests, and even speech patterns of peers. This behavior may help someone feel included in the short term but can ultimately lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and loss of identity.
Long-Term Impacts of ADHD Masking
Ideally, ADHD masking would allow someone to feel more confident and in control of their symptoms. However, this coping strategy can result in adverse effects, such as anxiety, poor self-esteem, and even misdiagnosis.
Delayed Diagnosis
When a person engages in masking, healthcare professionals and family members may struggle to recognize their symptoms of ADHD. Unfortunately, masking can delay or prevent an accurate diagnosis, thus limiting access to beneficial treatment.
Superficial Relationships
Masking ADHD can seem a lot like pretending to be someone else. Masking means only the tip of the ADHD iceberg is visible, meaning others struggle to understand and empathize with you. When you conceal your identity, people cannot get to know the real you. In the worst situations, ADHD masking can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself and questioning your identity.
As Nonnemacher says, “The impact of this (masking) can lead to difficulty with being authentic to ourselves… leading to a dissonance to our true selves and who we believe we should be.”
Burnout
Masking ADHD can expend an incredible amount of mental energy. Consistently denying their symptoms and hiding their true self from others can leave them feeling entirely depleted. Unfortunately, this ongoing demand can lead to chronic stress and burnout.
Perfectionism & Self-Criticism
ADHD and perfectionism often go hand in hand, partly due to the desire to perform perfectly to adhere to personal or external expectations. When someone falls short of these expectations, they fall into a cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt. Unhealthy negative self-talk creates more stress and can worsen ADHD symptoms.
Nonnemacher adds, “(Masking) can also affect one’s attitude toward goals and aspirations. Attempting to fit in can create perfectionistic tendencies, which is not always a conducive or healthy mindset.”
Anxiety & Depression
Masking ADHD symptoms can lead to anxiety and depression due to the extreme mental energy required. The fear of others discovering their symptoms can leave individuals in constant hypervigilance, focusing closely on their every move, body gesture, or statement. Masking can also lead to low self-esteem and a loss of identity, sometimes contributing to depression.
Why Unmasking ADHD is Important
Masking ADHD symptoms does not reduce symptoms–it only hides them from others. Unmasking ADHD is an essential step toward understanding, accepting, and managing symptoms in a healthy way. Unmasking can lead individuals to seek support and gain positive tools for managing symptoms, helping relieve the stress and anxiety of maintaining the facade.
How to Stop Masking ADHD Symptoms
Masking ADHD over an extended period can be damaging to both your physical and emotional health. Exploring alternative ways of living healthily with ADHD can help you better manage symptoms without losing your sense of self.
Below are
1. Look at Your Patterns
The first step toward a life free from masking is to honestly and thoroughly explore how your ADHD symptoms and coping skills impact you. Identify the circumstances, settings, and triggers that influence masking behavior. While uncomfortable, this process is worth the effort.
2. Consider Getting a Diagnosis If You Don’t Have One
ADHD is unique in that many providers require thorough testing and assessments to begin treatment, particularly medication. Consider getting a complete neuro-psych evaluation from a psychologist to clarify the diagnosis and rule out other conditions. Many people find a proper diagnosis helps them understand and accept their symptoms so they can begin unmasking.
3. Know Where the Stigma Comes From
The societal stigma around mental health may influence you to view ADHD symptoms in a negative light. Celebrating neurodiversity can allow you to fully embrace your identity and live a fulfilling life as your true self.
4. Celebrate ADHD Strengths
While ADHD symptoms can prove problematic in certain circumstances, you should never think of your diagnosis as a setback or disadvantage. Find the people, places, and circumstances that allow your ADHD to shine. There, you can celebrate, rather than hide, your strengths and uniqueness.
5. Separate Unhealthy From Healthy Masking
At times, masking your ADHD can be a healthy and positive coping skill. For instance, sometimes masking can help you focus on projects or deadlines. However, concealing your personality can create a sense of shame. Be sure to explore other coping strategies to avoid developing a negative self-perception.
6. Develop Emotional Regulation Skills
People with ADHD often struggle with emotional regulation due to problems with impulse control. ADHD can cause rapid mood swings, frustration, irritability, and overwhelm. Learning emotional regulation skills can help individuals manage their emotions, reduce stress, and improve their interactions and relationships with others.
7. Lean on Your Loved Ones for Support
Unmasking can feel scary and vulnerable. However, the support of loved ones can help those with ADHD share their struggles and embrace their true selves. Talk openly and honestly with your loved ones about beginning the unmasking process, and let them know whether you want solutions or just a listening ear to process your feelings.
8. Practice Self-Compassion & Acceptance
When a person struggles because of ADHD symptoms, the last thing they need is more criticism. Yet, many of those with ADHD are hypercritical of themselves. Self-compassion, acceptance, and patience are critical parts of the healing process. Loving and accepting yourself reduces the pressure to continue masking your ADHD.
How Therapy Can Help With ADHD Masking
Finding a neurodiversity-affirming therapist can assist you in accepting your symptoms. Many people are shocked to discover how much of their behavior was due to ADHD masking earlier in life. This knowledge can help you address and reduce the impact of symptoms across different areas of your life.
Therapy can also help you learn to love yourself and embrace your unique gifts. You can locate a provider in an online therapist directory or ask your doctor for a referral. Consider reaching out for support today–help is available to ensure healthy well-being as you start unmasking,
In My Experience
Additional Resources
To help our readers take the next step in their mental health journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy is compensated for marketing by the companies included below.
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For Further Reading
- Learn About Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) | CDC
- NIMH » Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder | ADHD – MedlinePlus
- Mental Health America
- National Alliance on Mental Health
- MentalHealth.gov
- Inflow ADHD App Review
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