How to Stop Negative Self-Talk: 11 Tips

Negative Self-Talk Examples

Negative self-talk can take many forms depending on the context.³ For example, it might involve mentally criticizing your work performance or scrutinizing your appearance in a mirror or fitting room.

Ultimately, speaking negatively about yourself can leak into your plans for the future, relationships, and overall well-being. Negative self-talk can impede success because you feel incapable of achieving your goals. You may resort to catastrophic thoughts, expecting the worst outcomes in any situation because you feel inadequate.

Below are common examples of negative self-talk:

• Critical self-talk: This negative self-talk is judgmental, comparing everyone to an unobtainable standard. For instance, you might experience this when you look in the mirror or study for a test.
• Hopeless or depressed self-talk: Depressed self-talk is defeated, lethargic, and often sad. You may reserve your energy or give up early to avoid rejection or disappointment when approaching tasks due to self-doubt.
• Anxious self-talk: This self-talk is future-oriented, making you afraid of the consequences of mistakes, missteps, and failure.

How Can Negative Self-Talk Impact Mental Health?

Negative self-talk can have a significant impact on mental health. The way we talk to ourselves internally, our inner dialogue, can shape our emotions, behavior, and overall well-being. Avoid using unkind self-talk. It can worsen your mental health and make you feel even worse about yourself.

Below are the possible effects of negative self-talk on mental health:

• Perfectionism: Negative self-talk is often fueled by perfectionistic tendencies. People who use negative self-talk may set goals that are too high and see anything less than perfect as a failure.
• Anxiety: Constant self-criticism and negative thinking can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. When you keep telling yourself you’re not good enough or will fail, your body reacts as if it’s true—activating the stress response.
• Depression: Persistent negative self-talk is a common feature of depression. Depressed individuals often have a harsh inner critic that magnifies their perceived failures and minimizes their accomplishments, contributing to feelings of hopelessness and sadness.
• Self-sabotaging behavior: Negative self-talk can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you repeatedly tell yourself that you will fail at something, you may start to believe it to the point where your actions align with this belief, leading to failure.
• Low self-esteem: Negative self-talk reinforces feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy. Over time, this erodes self-esteem, making it difficult to believe in your abilities and make positive changes in your life.
• Relationship problems: Constant self-criticism can make it hard to form and maintain healthy relationships. It can lead to social withdrawal and create barriers to intimacy and connection with others.

11 Tips for How to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Fortunately, you can overcome negative self-talk when you recognize and take steps to challenge your self-sabotaging thoughts. Awareness allows you to modify your thinking, improve your mental health, and reduce negative feelings.¹ Focus on positive perspectives and seek external support when learning to change negative self-talk.

Here are 11 tips on how to stop negative self talk:

1. Take a Humorous Approach to Your Inner Critic

Sometimes, humor can be a powerful tool against negative self-talk. Learn to laugh at your inner critic. Make a joke about your negative thoughts, and you might find they start to lose their power.

2. Create Positive Environments

Surround yourself with positive influences. Spend time with people who uplift you and engage in activities that bring you joy. A positive environment can reinforce positive self-talk.

3. Develop Self Compassion

Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are really true or if there is evidence to the contrary. Often, negative thoughts are based on irrational fears or misconceptions.

4. Limit Negativity

Be mindful of the media, social media, or people in your life who contribute to negative self-talk. Limit your exposure to these negative influences and unfollow people on social media who make you feel bad about yourself or trigger your negative thoughts. You could consider taking a full-on social media break as a reset.

5. Try Practicing Gratitude

Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can shift your perspective. Regularly practicing gratitude can reduce negative thinking and improve overall well-being.

6. Practice Positive Self-Talk

Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. These are positive statements about yourself and your abilities. Repeat them regularly, especially in situations where you tend to experience negative self-talk.

7. Try Meditation & Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques can help you observe your thoughts without judgment. Meditation practices can create a mental space between you and your thoughts, allowing you to respond to them more rationally. If you’re new to meditation, using a meditation app can be a great way to get started.

8. Be a Friend to Yourself

Think about how you would talk to a friend in the same situation when dealing with negative thoughts about yourself. We rarely talk about others as critically or unsupportive as we talk to ourselves. Considering how you would support and speak to a loved one can help you challenge negative self-talk.

9. Take a Deep Breath

Taking a deep breath can help when stopping negative self-talk. Breathwork can be a reset button, clearing your mind from unhealthy thoughts and patterns. You may notice your self-talk has become harmful if you take that chance to breathe and consciously make changes.

10. Do Something

Telling yourself to stop thinking about something will only increase your awareness of these thoughts. Instead, focus on something else by working on another activity. For example, you can clean, take a relaxing bath, or exercise. Simply make a choice to do something else when ruminating on negative things about yourself.

11. Call a Friend

Contact a supportive person if you cannot be a friend to yourself. Sometimes, finding the right words to say to yourself is too difficult when negative self-talk is severe. A friend can be a neutral or positive voice to help encourage you. Outside perspectives can also offer different perspectives on scenarios our negative self-thoughts cloud or overshadow.

When to See a Professional About Negative Self-Talk

A mental health professional can help you develop personalized strategies to improve your relationship with yourself. Therapy can teach you how to identify, challenge, and replace negative self-talk, while also offering accountability and support as you work toward change. It’s often helpful to explore where your self-critical thoughts originate and how they affect your daily life.

If you’re ready to seek help, you can search an online therapist directory or use a reputable online therapy platform such as BetterHelp or Talkspace. These services provide access to licensed therapists through video, phone, or messaging, making support more convenient and accessible.