Academic abuse occurs when an abuser deliberately goes out of their way to make someone feel bad about focusing on their academics, or sabotages their ability to get the education they need or want. This may include making fun of someone for studying or constantly interrupting someone when they’re trying to focus.
What Is Academic Abuse?
Academic abuse happens when someone keeps you from pursuing an education or studying in order to maintain your education. Abuse can occur from siblings, parents, friends and even your intimate partners. Not receiving an education that is at a level appropriate for you or withholding access to resources needed to complete your homework are also forms of academic abuse.
Yes, there is importance in finding a balance between academics, social and personal needs, but that is ultimately determined by you. As Sasha Wayman wrote, “sabotaging someone’s potential is not love.”1
Here are some examples of what academic abuse might look like from friends, parents, or partners:
- From peers: As a child or adolescent, being begged to skip studying to hang out with friends can feel tempting. It may even take courage to say no to peers and choose staying in and studying instead.
- From parents: Being blamed for poor grades from your parents may be your parents’ way of encouraging you to “try harder” or “rise up to your potential.” However, at the end of the day, their nagging certainly does not leave you feeling motivated, encouraged or supported.
- In romantic relationships: As you begin to date, whether in high school or in college, having a partner that makes studying and spending time with them a competition can become toxic and stressful.
Why Does Academic Abuse Go Unnoticed?
Academic abuse often goes unnoticed because it may be disguised as someone who is being supportive and “encouraging you to do better,” when they are really pushing too hard. When an abuser shows strong interests in your grades and academic performance, others may misinterpret the language being used as beneficial.
Additionally, academic abuse may go unnoticed if it is a parent or intimate partner that is the abuser. Initially, it can be overlooked as being “missed” or “checking-in” but over time the frequent calling and follow-up becomes disruptive and abusive.
Academic abuse is not talked about often. There has not yet been much research on this specific form of abuse. This does not mean that academic abuse does not exist, and all the more reason that recognizing the signs of academic abuse is so important.
Signs of Academic Abuse
Perpetrators may use academics, grades, and studies as a way to manipulate people.2 Aside from academic abuse, a victim may be subject to manipulation and gaslighting to the point where the victim no longer believes in themselves.
Here are nine examples of academic abuse:3
- Making fun of you for studying too much
- Not being supportive of your academic focus
- Calling and demanding to talk right before an exam or big project is due
- Adding surprise stressors to your life when distractions will have a negative impact on you
- Constantly interrupting and demanding your attention when you’re trying to focus
- Making you feel bad about spending time on your academics instead of spending time with them
- Claiming you don’t love them because you’re focusing on academics instead of them
- Monitoring your every move and possibly even taking the same classes as you
- Blaming you for poor grades after deliberately sabotaging you
Impacts of Academic Abuse
Academic abuse can affect a person’s life in a variety of ways. You or someone you know may be experiencing the impact of academic abuse and may not even know it. It is typically one type of abuse that someone uses as part of a spectrum of violence toward their victim.2 Being a victim of academic abuse has a drastic impact on a person’s mental health and overall daily functioning.
Academic abuse can impact the victim in the following ways:4
- Low self-esteem
- Low confidence
- Forming an anxious attachment with the abuser
- PTSD
- Post-traumatic relationship syndrome
- Poor performance in school
- Trapping the victim in a cycle of abuse
- Paranoia
- Isolation from others
- Constantly comparing achievements
- Depression
- Anxiety
How to Respond to Academic Abuse
If possible, distancing yourself from your abuser is encouraged, however always be mindful of your safety. It may be difficult to want to distance or leave your abuser due to emotional attachments (this is known as trauma bonding).5 Due to manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation, victims often feel alone and with little to no support outside of their abuser. If you need support in breaking off a relationship with an abuser, consider finding a therapist or calling the abuse hotline.
Utilize Study Buddies
Surrounding yourself with peers that are also academically involved can be extremely helpful as well. Having peers that are also motivated academically can be a great form of support and socialization while maintaining the balance and discipline needed to succeed. Consider reaching out to a trusted teacher, professor or classmates to find study groups. Most schools offer tutoring services and study halls to provide additional support. Use caution and beware of highly competitive study groups, as this behavior can encourage forms of academic abuse as well.
Therapy Can Help You Heal & Reclaim Your Life
There are plenty of benefits to therapy that can help you heal from your experience of academic abuse. Therapy can help you heal and reclaim your life by rewiring your brain and increasing your self-esteem and confidence. It can also be liberating to just have someone hear your experience of abuse. Therapy can teach you coping skills to replace negative self-talk or negative thinking patterns with positive strategies for healing.
Reclaiming your life is one of the most empowering things that can be experienced in a therapeutic relationship. Being in a space that is safe, confidential and welcoming makes all of the difference in your level of comfort and ability to move forward and make positive changes. Visit an online therapist directory and learn more about finding a therapist that is right for you.
Final Thoughts
Abuse in any form is hard to cope with, but with therapy and reaching out to your support network can help. Talking about it with people you can trust, raising awareness, and having more open and honest conversations surrounding academic abuse will make way for more change later. Academic abuse is not something to be ignored or overlooked. The most important thing to remember is that there is a way out of this cycle of abuse and that you are not alone.
For Further Reading
- The Hotline: Available to call, chat or text
- The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness: Get Help
- MentalHealth.gov
Academic Abuse Infographics
