• Mental Health
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • ADHD
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
  • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • ADHD
    • Addiction
      • What is Addiction?
      • What Are Behavioral Addictions?
      • Addiction vs Dependence
      • Addiction Myths vs Facts
      • Addiction Statistics
      • How to Help a Friend
      • Find an Addiction Specialist
    • Eating Disorders
    • Personality Disorders
      • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
        • OCD vs. OCPD
    • Trauma
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • PTSD & COVID-19
      • Childhood Trauma
    • Sexual Disorders
      • Anorgasmia
      • Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD)
      • Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
      • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
      • Delayed Ejaculation
    • Schizophrenia
  • Therapy Techniques
    • Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy
      • Online Therapy for Teens
      • Best LGBTQ Online Therapy
      • Best Online Therapy for Insurance
    • Psychotherapy
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • CBT for Anxiety
      • CBT for Social Anxiety
      • CBT for Panic Disorder
      • CBT for Insomnia
      • CBT Online
    • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
      • DBT for Teens
    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
      • EMDR for PTSD
      • EMDR for Anxiety
      • EMDR Online
    • Art Therapy
    • Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
    • Exposure and Response Prevention
    • Group Therapy
    • Hypnotherapy
    • Motivational Interviewing
    • Person Centered Therapy
    • Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
    • Sex Therapy
  • Types of Therapists
    • Faith-Based & Christian Counselors
    • Life Coaching
    • Family Therapist
      • Child & Teen Counseling
    • Marriage & Couples Counselors
      • Premarital Counseling
    • Psychiatrist
      • Psychology vs. Psychiatry
    • Psychotherapist
    • Grief Counselors
    • Online Therapists
  • Starting Therapy FAQ
    • Does Therapy Work?
      • How to Find a Therapist
      • Helping a Friend or Loved One
    • How to Choose a Therapist
      • Finding a Black Therapist
      • Finding a Latinx Therapist
      • Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
      • Finding a Therapist as a Young Adult
      • Finding an Online Therapist
    • Preparing for Your First Session
    • Types of Mental Health Professionals
    • Mental Health Insurance
      • HSAs for Therapy
      • Sliding Scale Therapy Fees
    • Mental Health in the Workplace
      • Asking for a Mental Health Day
      • Taking Time Off for Mental Health
    • Top Mental Health Organizations
      • Mental Health Resources Outside the U.S.
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact Us
    • Write for Us
    • Join the Directory
    • Careers
  • Therapist Directory
    • Find a Therapist
    • Join the Directory
    • Directory Login
Skip to content

Dating a Sociopath: Signs, Impacts, & How to Respond

Published: January 7, 2022 Updated: January 25, 2023
Published: 01/07/2022 Updated: 01/25/2023
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Naveed Saleh, MD, MS
Reviewed by:

Naveed Saleh

MD, MS
  • What Is a Sociopath?Sociopath Definition
  • Signs You’re Dating a Sociopath18 Signs
  • Impacts of Dating a SociopathImpacts
  • How to Get Over Dating a SociopathGetting Over It
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Naveed Saleh, MD, MS
Reviewed by:

Naveed Saleh

MD, MS

A sociopath is someone who lacks empathy, manipulates close relationships, acts entitled, remains absent when others are in need, and shows no remorse for any harm they cause. Dating a sociopath is potentially harmful to your mental health and well-being, so knowing the signs is important if you suspect you’re dating a sociopath.

You don’t have to face an emotionally abusive relationship alone. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

What Is a Sociopath?

A sociopath is someone who is diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Sociopaths can appear to be charming at first, but this never lasts. They exhibit antisocial behavior, which makes them want to break all the rules and exhibit a disregard for authority, act aggressively, lack feelings of guilt, and enjoy manipulating and controlling others.

Sociopathy in Men vs. Women

Sociopathy can look differently from person to person, and gender could play a role in what types of behaviors are more prevalent. While both genders are capable of any sociopath behavior, women tend to present less aggressive antisocial behaviors and higher rates of general aggressive mood and irritability, while men present more violent behaviors. Furthermore, women use more subtle ways to emotionally manipulate others while men often use more overt and dominant ways.1

18 Signs You’re Dating a Sociopath

It’s become very common to throw out terms like sociopath when referring to a poor series of dates with someone or an individual that is not well liked and akin to a serial-killer character from a horror movie. While individuals labelled as “sociopaths” may have the self-absorbed and exploitative nature of a sociopath, there are other signs of a sociopath to look out for when you think you are dating one.

Here are 18 signs that you’re dating a sociopath:

1. They Don’t Like to Follow Rules

While a “bad boy” or “bad girl” can seem alluring initially, someone who doesn’t follow the rules long term can cause some serious issues. These behaviors can lead to violent and criminal behaviors and it’s possible you could be harmed in the process.

2. They’re a Pathological Liar

Everyone is capable of lying, which is never excusable, but sociopaths will lie about everything, especially to make sure they get what they want. Lies erode trust in any relationship and the chronic lies from a sociopath are a big red flag to be aware of. Knowing the signs of a pathological liar can help you spot this sociopathic trait.

3. They’re Arrogant

While it’s important to have high self-worth, sociopaths take that to a whole new level. Sociopaths are often very arrogant and have an inflated sense of self. Their ego is likely more important than the feelings of others and they often come off as superior to others.

4. They’re Superficially Charming

Everyone likes to be liked, but sociopaths use charming behaviors to lure people into their web to later manipulate and exploit them. They charm strangers and can be the life of the party, but their actions are all very calculated.

5. They Exhibit Impulsive Behavior

Sociopaths are constantly changing their mind or their plans based on how they feel. Given that their emotions are often fleeting, their ability to stick to a plan is low. They don’t like to plan ahead because they like to have control of their surroundings and impulsive behavior gives them control as others cannot predict their next move.

6. They Don’t Consider Consequences

Since sociopaths are so impulsive, they don’t think through potential consequences. They may try to pressure you to do something unsafe in the spirit of spontaneity or charm, but it comes with ulterior motives.

7. The Relationship Moves Quickly

If they are planning your future on the third date and proposing on the fifth date, you may think they are sure of you. However, this speed is often motivated by a sociopath’s underlying need to control. They use these tactics with hopes it comes off as charming so you will fall for the charm. They use these ideas of a picture-perfect future to hook you and exploit your feelings.

8. They Guilt-Trip You

Sociopaths use emotion to their advantage and unfairly manipulate you by guilt trips. They use excuses to get what they want and often appeal to your sense of wanting to love and nurture them. They are basically a con artist robbing you of your empathy.

9. They’re Abusive

Anger is the main emotion sociopaths feel, so it’s common for sociopaths to express anger and rage and emotionally abuse their partners. They also enjoy releasing the feeling and using that fear to benefit their power over you.

10. They Lack Empathy

A key trait of sociopaths is that they do not have a capability to have empathy for others. Even if they hurt someone, they cannot experience empathy for them or recognize the harm they caused.

11. They Refuse to Change

Even if they hurt someone or have faced consequences for their actions, this isn’t enough motivation for sociopaths to change. Most people change and grow from an experience, but sociopaths don’t change and will always continue to violate boundaries and rules.

12. They Don’t Have Close Friends

Sociopaths may seem charming and like the life of the party, however when you are with them for some time, sociopaths will reveal themselves to have no true close relationships. This is due to how self-absorbed they are and the consequences that came from past behavior that they lost relationships and burned bridges.

13. They’re Unreliable

Sociopaths tend to be quite full of themselves. They’re so self-absorbed they can’t show up for you and will likely forget about any commitments. They are often flaky and will likely disappoint you and will find a way to blame you for it.

14. They Disrespect Boundaries

They are not equipped to hear “no” and will not accept that, so they will try to mold you into who they want you to be. They will push your boundaries until they break and they can get their way.

15. They Don’t Consider Their Part of Conflict

They always blame others even for something they caused and use your emotions against you. They don’t support any emotion you may feel and leave you feeling invalidated. They question and challenge you and often will become angry if you do not accept responsibility for conflict.

16. They’re Revenge-Seeking

They are likely to be as vindictive as they are charming if you are on their wrong side. They will hold onto a grudge and will find ways to get revenge. They could even plot for months.

17. They Disregard Your Emotions

Because sociopaths lack empathy so in relationships with partners, they will likely never understand why you may be upset. They are incapable of putting themselves in the shoes of others and will never say sorry to you even though they did something wrong that hurt you. They will find a way to turn the situation on you and make it your fault.

18. They Have Anger Issues

Everyone gets angry sometimes, but sociopaths have a violent history of fights and expressions of rage. They are usually on edge and can easily get into fights. They can also be abusive physically, sexually and emotionally.

Ready To Invest In Improving Your Relationship

Free Couples Relationship Course – OurRelationship has been proven to help couples improve communication, intimacy, and trust. 94% would recommend it to a friend. Get Started


Relationship Guidance (Partner participation optional.) – You can improve your relationship! Ritual combines video sessions led by a relationship expert, with short online activities. 14-day money-back guarantee. Start now


Individual Therapy – Happy, healthy relationships start with YOU. Try online therapy and bring your best self to your relationships. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. Visit BetterHelp


Couples Therapy – Work together to restore trust and rekindle loving feelings. Video and text based couples counseling start at $50 per week. Try Online-Therapy

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by OurRelationship, Ritual, BetterHelp, and Online-Therapy.

Impacts of Dating a Sociopath

The individual experience of dating a sociopath can vary from relationship to relationship, however abuse of any kind is never excusable. Dating a sociopath can have serious consequences on your mental health and well-being.

Impacts of dating a sociopath include:1

  • Lowered self-esteem
  • Trauma
  • Developing a mental illness
  • Isolation from family and friends
  • Work problems
  • Depression/Anxiety/PTSD exacerbation
  • Short temper

Having a healthy relationship with a sociopath is not possible due to the fluctuations of their mood and behaviors. Even if a sociopath today isn’t violent and abusive, this issue is on a spectrum of behavior so it’s not a behavior that can ever be ruled out. Oftentimes, the best option for dealing with a sociopath is to leave the relationship.

When your own health and wellness is being impacted, the relationship is doing more harm than good for you. When there is any kind of abuse, it’s important to recognize your worth and protect yourself and get help right away. Seek out the support of a therapist and come up with an exit plan so you can leave safely.

How to Get Over Dating a Sociopath

Making the decision and plan to leave a relationship with a sociopath can seem very scary and difficult. You may have your finances and housing intermingled which can be hard to separate. You may be experiencing trauma bonding as well which makes it challenging. You may also be so isolated from friends and family that you don’t know how to contact anyone for support. Know that you are not alone, and are brave for taking steps to leave any relationship that is abusive.

The right time to get help if you’re dating a sociopath and have concerns is when you first identify issues. It can be challenging to talk about with your partner, so it’s important to consider individual or couples therapy, depending on what your issues are. Given the emotionally volatile and abusive nature of relationships with sociopaths, it’s important to seek help immediately if you feel you are in danger of any kind.

You do not need to endure any kind of abuse in a relationship and are not obligated to stay or try to work things out. Abuse should never be tolerated and a therapist can help normalize this into an internalized belief.3

A great way to find a therapist for these types of relationship problems is by searching an online therapist directory. All licensed therapists can be equipped to help people struggling with these issues. Reading reviews and looking at clinician bios to understand their scope of practice can give you an idea of whether their experience suits your situation. Many therapists offer a free phone consultation and virtual/teletherapy visits.

Final Thoughts

What you’re struggling with may be specific to you, but you’re not alone. Dating a sociopath can be hard on your mental health but there are ways to heal. Talking to a therapist can make a big difference in how you feel.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp (Online Therapy) – Relationships aren’t easy – a licensed therapist can help. Live sessions can be done via phone, video, or live-chat. Plus, you can message your therapist whenever you want. Visit BetterHelp

Online-Therapy.com (Online Couples Therapy) – Do you and your partner want to work together to have less arguments and better communication? Are there children involved and being caught in the crossfire? Do you love each other but are having a rough time operating as one unit? Couples therapy can help. Get Started

Ritual (Relationship Guidance) – Ritual provides guidance to individuals working to improve their relationship, or couples working jointly. Ritual combines video sessions led by a relationship expert, with short online activities. 14-day money-back guarantee. Try Ritual

OurRelationship (Free Couples Course) – OurRelationship has been proven to help couples improve communication, intimacy, and trust. 94% would recommend it to a friend. Get Started

Mindfulness.com (App) – During a disagreement, controlling one’s anger can be difficult, particularly if your partner starts yelling. Mindfulness can prevent one from saying and doing things that lead to regret. Free 7-Day Trial

Relationship Newsletter (Free From Choosing Therapy) – A newsletter for those interested in improving relationships. Get helpful tips and the latest information. Sign Up

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp, Online-Therapy.com, Ritual, OurRelationship, and Mindfulness.com

For Further Reading

  • Reviews of the Best Online Therapy Providers
  • MHA
  • NAMI Support Groups
  • MentalHealth.gov
3 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Alegria, A. A., Blanco, C., Petry, N. M., Skodol, A. E., Liu, S. M., Grant, B., & Hasin, D. (2013). Sex differences in antisocial personality disorder: results from the National Epidemiological Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Personality disorders, 4(3), 214–222. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3767421/

  • Flasch, P., Boote, D., & Robinson, E. H. (2019). Considering and navigating new relationships during recovery from intimate partner violence. Journal of Counseling & Development, 97(2), 148-159. https://digital.library.txstate.edu/handle/10877/9450

  • Murphy, C. M., Eckhardt, C. I., Clifford, J. M., LaMotte, A. D., & Meis, L. A. (2020). Individual versus group cognitive-behavioral therapy for partner-violent men: a preliminary randomized trial. Journal of interpersonal violence, 35(15-16), 2846-2868. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29294732/

Recent Articles

20 Reasons to Avoid Having an Affair With a Married Man
20 Reasons to Avoid Having an Affair With a Married Man
Having an affair with a married man can be destructive to both yourself and all those involved.
';
The 7 Stages of Emotional Affairs & How to Recover
The 7 Stages of Emotional Affairs & How to Recover
Emotional affairs can be different for everyone, but they typically follow seven stages of progression. An emotional affair usually...
';
Scopophobia (Fear of Being Stared At): Symptoms, Treatments, & How to Cope
Scopophobia (Fear of Being Stared At): Symptoms, Treatments, & How to Cope
Scopophobia is the fear of being looked at or stared at by other people. Related to social anxiety disorder,...
';
50 Questions to Ask Your Partner to Increase Intimacy
50 Questions to Ask Your Partner to Increase Intimacy
We’re always looking for ways to connect with each other, especially in our romantic relationships. Maintaining emotional intimacy is...
';
Featured Image for What is Phubbing and How to Deal With It
Phubbing: What It Is, Impacts, & How to Deal With It
Phubbing is the habit of ignoring or snubbing another person in order to focus one’s attention on their cell...
';
Who Cheats More_ Men or Women
Who Cheats More: Men or Women?
It is suggested by some that for the past 30 years, men have been cheating more often than women...
';
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Naveed Saleh, MD, MS
Reviewed by:

Naveed Saleh

MD, MS
  • What Is a Sociopath?Sociopath Definition
  • Signs You’re Dating a Sociopath18 Signs
  • Impacts of Dating a SociopathImpacts
  • How to Get Over Dating a SociopathGetting Over It
  • Final ThoughtsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
If you are in need of immediate medical help:
Medical
Emergency
911
Suicide Hotline
800-273-8255
See more Crisis Hotlines
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • No Surprises Act
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
988
Click For More Crisis Hotlines
For immediate help call:
Medical Emergency:
911
Suicide Hotline:
811
See more Crisis Hotlines
here
logo
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify.
Choosing Therapy Logo
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit Cookie Settings to provide controlled consent. Cookie settings ACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

We use cookies to facilitate website functionality. Also, we use third-party cookies to track your website behavior and target advertising. These cookies are stored in your browser only with your consent, and you have the choice of opting out.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non Necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

Save & Accept