A fear of imperfection can develop from mental health disorders, past trauma, cultural expectations, family-of-origin beliefs, or social media.1,2,3 Cognitive distortions like all-or-nothing thinking can worsen or sustain the fear of not being perfect.1,3 Overcoming a fear of imperfection includes identifying triggers and using strategies like mindfulness, experiential learning, support groups, or traditional counseling.
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What Is the Fear of Imperfection?
The fear of imperfection can manifest differently in individuals, including being uncomfortable with making mistakes, setting unrealistic standards, being unwilling to accept criticism, and possessing a need for excessive orderliness.2 A mild fear of being imperfect can be motivating, but debilitating levels of perfectionism can set the stage for disaster.
Fears of imperfection are caused by dysfunctional thinking patterns and distorted expectations of self and others.1,3 All-or-nothing thinking, also called black-and-white thinking, is a common cognitive distortion usually found in perfectionists.1 Cognitive distortions lead to decreased experiences of happiness and joy.1 These cognitive distortions are found in a variety of mental health disorders that can cause fear of imperfection.
Psychological Causes of the Fear of Imperfection
There are many different psychological causes for the fear of imperfection, including atelophobia, anxiety, and OCD. A common theme among them is that people who label themselves as perfectionists usually have underlying issues with low self-esteem.1 They tend to see mistakes not as opportunities for growth but as evidence of personal defectiveness.1
Psychological causes of the fear of imperfection include:
1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Fears of imperfection are often associated with anxiety and perfectionism. Individuals with diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) experience excessive anxiety and worry related to performance in their professional or personal life. Sometimes, these worries are related to personal fears of imperfection, failure, or not measuring up to personal or other standards. Research supports concern over mistakes, high personal standards, and clinical perfectionism as associated with pathological worry in individuals with GAD.6
2. Atelophobia
Atelophobia is a type of phobia where someone is afraid of imperfection. Phobias are clinical disorders that cause excessive fear and disrupt a person’s personal and professional life. Someone with atelophobia is so afraid of making mistakes that they avoid situations where they predict an outcome of perceived failure.
A general fear of imperfection can be differentiated from atelophobia by severity. Someone with a fear of imperfection due to generalized anxiety might feel some distress from making mistakes and experience rumination prior to or after triggering events. A person with atelophobia would be unable to expose themselves to the triggering event due to their phobia.
3. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and perfectionism are often associated with each other because certain obsessions are themed around perfection. People with the subtype just right OCD, also sometimes called perfectionism OCD, can suffer from obsessions around incompleteness, incorrectness, or lack of perfection. They often feel something is “off” about certain events or objects, leading them to perform compulsions such as rearranging, organizing, or mental rituals.
Common triggers experienced by people with OCD and a fear of being imperfect include:
- Guests coming over and feeling the need to have things “just so”
- Big work or personal projects with small tasks involved
- A cleaner coming into the home or office and moving objects into new places
- Uneven or imperfect objects, such as cracks in the sidewalk or foods with a slice missing
Common obsessions experienced by people with OCD and a fear of being imperfect include:
- Worrying about using the wrong words in written or verbal communication
- Fixating on a part of the body to make sure it looks “right”
- Fixating on physical sensations to make sure they feel “even”
- Wondering if a portion of food was even or if an amount of an object was exact
Common compulsions experienced by people with OCD and a fear of being imperfect include:
- Re-writing or re-typing assignments, emails, texts, or other projects and communications until the words are “right”
- Rearranging or organizing objects on your work desk over and over because something feels “off”
- Feeling stuck on a certain task on your to-do list, performing it again and again
- Needing to touch a body part on the right side of your body because a body part on the left side was touched
4. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and perfectionism are often associated with each other. One study found perfectionism was the most frequently endorsed cognitive distortion in a clinical population of adults with ADHD.7 A particular type of perfectionism, called front-end perfectionism, is common in those with ADHD.8 Front-end perfectionism happens when self-prescribed conditions must exist before a task can be completed.8
People with ADHD and a fear of being imperfect may struggle with front-end perfectionism, where they choose not to complete tasks due to feeling tired, moody, or even their workspace feeling crowded.8 They tend to assign blame to internal or external factors, which ends in an inability to begin or complete the task.8
Environmental Causes of the Fear of Imperfection
Environment largely shapes the influence thoughts about imperfection can have on a person. External factors such as trauma, cultural values, and even social media can all affect how someone deals with a fear of not being perfect. The environment has the potential to calm or exacerbate fears of imperfection.
Environmental causes of the fear of imperfection include:
5. Trauma
Trauma can create the internal conditions necessary for fear of imperfection by negatively altering someone’s self-worth. Relationships with one’s family of origin and caretakers often cause a person’s development of unrealistic standards. In one study, affectionless, neurotic, and overcontrolling parents were found to be associated with the childhoods of perfectionistic adults.5
Research supports a relationship between PTSD symptoms and perfectionistic tendencies.9 Rumination, often a symptom of trauma, is found to make concern over mistakes worsen in those diagnosed with PTSD.9
6. Cultural Expectations of Success
Culture can be defined as the various spheres of influence on someone’s identity, such as nationality, gender, race, religion, ethnicity, or age. Certain cultures may define success or perfection differently and may choose to enforce these concepts through specific expectations. The fear of not being perfect can arise when someone’s cultural expectation of success does not match up with their self-view.
Examples of cultural expectations of success and fears of imperfection:
- A woman who values a traditional marriage feels she is not cooking or cleaning enough to support the home
- A teacher who values their impact on students feels they did not teach the lesson correctly after half the class fails an exam
- A woman who values egalitarian ideals in marriage feels upset when his husband expects him to be the sole provider of the home
- Someone whose religion values prayer on Sundays feels ashamed when they do not make time to pray
- Someone whose ethnic background is heavily involved with eating family meals together is embarrassed when they sleep through a family meal
7. Social Media & Comparison
Social media can intensify fear of imperfection by providing a constant stream of unrealistic expectations. People can share positive life events, edited photos, highlights of experiences, and perfected glimpses of their lives on social media. Continuous exposure to others’ curated lives can exacerbate a person’s fear of not being perfect through rumination and comparison.
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Developmental Causes of the Fear of Imperfection
Ideas about perfection and success begin to blossom in childhood and adolescence. By adulthood, our concepts of perfection have been formed by these experiences. Fear of imperfection or fear of not being perfect can result from factors such as certain parenting styles or academic pressures.
Developmental causes of the fear of imperfection include:
8. Parenting Styles and Expectations
Parents who exhibit conditional styles of love might encourage children to form perfectionistic attitudes.1 A common message would be “I would love you if…” related to academic, athletic, or other external achievements required for the child to feel desired.1 When this happens repeatedly, a child learns that external achievements are the way to earn love from others.
9. Educational Pressure & Academic Anxiety
Academic achievements are one form of external standard that children can experience. Some pressure around academics can be adaptive, encouraging children to set and achieve goals. But when academic pressures become excessive, and children feel the need to prove their worthiness, fear of imperfection can turn into paralyzing anxiety. The child may become more motivated by fear of failure than by an internal sense of accomplishment.
10. Pressures Around Hobbies
Hobbies can be healthy and adaptive explorations for children and adolescents. Sometimes, hobbies can become another form of external pressure on a child to perform. When a hobby becomes more of an identity and causes more distress than stress relief, it may become unhealthy and create fear of imperfection.
When this identity continues into adolescence and adulthood, it can become important for a person to develop a self-concept outside of their hobby. For example, children who spend the majority of their time on a specific sport need to have a healthy self-concept outside of their sports identity.
How to Know What Is Causing Your Fear of Not Being Perfect
Understanding your specific triggers for fear of imperfection can help you target these areas for improvement. Seeing this as a road to self-discovery can help you become more motivated to explore the roots of your fears. Developing tailored strategies for overcoming your fear of not being perfect may take some time, patience, and support from others.
Here are some strategies for how to learn what is causing your fear of imperfection:
Learn to Identify the Triggers
Combining daily journaling with logging triggers can help you track perfectionist tendencies. Daily journaling can help you process your emotions, while tracking provides some data for you and your treatment team. You will want to pay attention to people, places, experiences, and times that trigger your fear of imperfection.
Here is how to keep a log that can help you identify your triggers:
- Keep a diary specifically for this process
- During the day, use an easily accessible tracker (ex., Notes app on your phone) to track people, places, times, or experiences that you notice your fear of not being perfect
- Decide on either mornings or evenings to journal about your emotions related to fear of imperfection
Here are some questions to get a better sense of what is causing your fear of imperfection:
- Who tends to trigger my fear of imperfection?
- What time of day do I notice my perfectionism most?
- What experiences cause my fear of imperfection to flare?
- How does my body feel at the first sign of fear of failure?
- Are there places where my fear of not being perfect pops up?
- When did my fear of imperfection first start?
Ask the People You Trust
Social support is important to your process of exploring your fear of imperfection. Loved ones can comfort you when your fears flare, but they can also give you honest feedback about what they see. Sometimes, our own perspective can be skewed by our fear of not being perfect.
Rely on your support network to give you feedback on when, how, and why they feel your fear of imperfection affects you. You can compare their feedback to your own tracking log to discover more about how fear of imperfection affects your life.
Go for a Professional Evaluation
If self-exploration alone feels like it is not helping you discover more about your fears of imperfection, it may be time to find a therapist or counselor to speak to. A therapist or counselor can help provide structure for exploring deep-seated causes of perfectionism, which might include past traumas, experiences, or mental health disorders. Through professional guidance, you can develop insights and coping skills to support overcoming your fear of not being perfect.
Do Your Own Research
If you are reading this article, you can consider it your first step into doing your own research on the fear of imperfection. Seek out relevant books, articles, and podcasts related to the fear of failure. Remember to use accurate sources such as medical journals, government websites, researchers, or doctors to gather your information.
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How to Overcome the Fear of Imperfection
Overcoming the fear of imperfection may take changing your mindset around your ideas of success and failure. Exploring a new approach to your concepts of success and failure can happen through a variety of options.
A therapist or counselor might help you explore your fears in a structured way, while support groups or community resources can offer social support in a different setting. Other strategies for overcoming the fear of not being perfect might include mindfulness, experiential learning, or workshops.
Here are some tips for how to overcome the fear of imperfection:
Begin Therapy
A therapist or counselor can help you develop strategies for overcoming your fear of imperfection. Some people may feel that exploring deep-seated causes of their fears may help them develop important insights. Insight-oriented therapy, such as psychodynamic approaches, may be helpful for people looking to explore the root causes of their fear of imperfection.
Some people may not want to look into their childhood or past experiences but rather desire a shorter-term therapy focused on the present. Solution-focused therapy is a good option for individuals looking for counseling that is structured, brief, and present-focused.
Join a Support Group
Social support is necessary for overcoming the fear of imperfection, especially if these issues come from interpersonal trauma. You may not be able to find a support group specifically for fear of imperfection, but you may find some anxiety or depression support groups that could fit your needs. Using social media or therapist directories can help you find local support groups online or in person.
Utilize Mindfulness Strategies
Since mindfulness helps you focus on the present moment with a non-judgmental attitude, it is a wonderful way to approach the fear of imperfection. There are even mindfulness apps that can help you explore how you want to practice mindfulness, whether through meditation or other activities.
Developing a mindfulness or meditation routine can help you overcome the fear of imperfection by providing you with a calmer morning or evening when perfectionistic thoughts tend to pop up the most. You can even choose to incorporate short mindfulness exercises throughout your day to provide relief from the fear of imperfection.
Go on More Adventures
Real-life experiences are sometimes the best exposure to the fear of imperfection. It can be helpful to explore this option as a form of exposure therapy with the guidance of a therapist or counselor. You can even journal about the event before and after to develop new insights.
Experiential learning through an adventure-based activity might look like a ropes course, rock climbing, or something more low-key like a painting or writing class. The point is for the activity to be something new, challenging, and stimulating so that you can learn to tolerate the distress of feeling imperfect.
Try an Improv Workshops
Theater workshops can help people take a more creative approach to overcoming the fear of imperfection. These workshops challenge participants to develop unscripted reactions to one another. Learning how to have fun with uncertainty can help people overcome the fear of not being perfect in a non-judgmental and supportive environment.
Take a Creative Writing Class
Creative writing is another art-based outlet for exploring the fear of imperfection. Writing workshops can be either generative, meaning that they help you produce work, or critique-based, meaning that they have you critique one another’s works. Critique workshops are another way to expose yourself to judgment in a healthy environment.
Writing classes can also offer a place to learn how to express yourself through various forms, like poetry, prose, or nonfiction. Sometimes, these classes can also connect you to a local writing community, where you can meet others who may struggle with various types of fears and use writing as an outlet for overcoming the fear of not being perfect.
When to Seek Professional Support
If the fear of not being perfect is keeping you from personal and professional responsibilities or stopping you from reaching your life goals, it might be time to seek professional help. An online therapist directory or online therapy platform is a good place to explore options for a therapist or counselor who can help you explore your fear of imperfection in a safe environment.
In My Experience
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