Skip to content
  • Mental Health Issues
    • Anxiety
    • ADHD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Depression
    • Grief
    • OCD
    • Personality Disorders
    • PTSD
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Marriage
    • Sex & Intimacy
    • Infidelity
    • Relationships 101
  • Wellness
    • Anger
    • Burnout
    • Stress
    • Sleep
    • Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Yoga
  • Therapy
    • Starting Therapy
    • Types of Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy Services
    • Online Couples Therapy
    • Online Therapy for Teens
  • Medication
    • Anxiety Medication
    • Depression Medication
    • ADHD Medication
    • Best Online Psychiatrist Options
  • My Mental Health
    • Men
    • Women
    • BIPOC
    • LGBTQIA+
    • Parents
    • Teens
  • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • About Us
    • Find a Local Therapist
    • Join Our Free Directory

Join our Newsletter

Get helpful tips and the latest information

Choosing Therapy on Facebook
Choosing Therapy on Instagram
Choosing Therapy on Twitter
Choosing Therapy on Linkedin
Choosing Therapy on Pinterest
Choosing Therapy on Tiktok
Choosing Therapy on Youtube
Choosing Therapy Logo

Newsletter

  • Mental Health Issues
    • Anxiety
    • ADHD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Depression
    • Grief
    • OCD
    • Personality Disorders
    • PTSD
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Marriage
    • Sex & Intimacy
    • Infidelity
    • Relationships 101
  • Wellness
    • Anger
    • Burnout
    • Stress
    • Sleep
    • Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Yoga
  • Therapy
    • Starting Therapy
    • Types of Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy Services
    • Online Couples Therapy
    • Online Therapy for Teens
  • Medication
    • Anxiety Medication
    • Depression Medication
    • ADHD Medication
    • Best Online Psychiatrist Options
  • My Mental Health
    • Men
    • Women
    • BIPOC
    • LGBTQIA+
    • Parents
    • Teens
  • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • About Us
    • Find a Local Therapist
    • Join Our Free Directory
  • What Is Jealousy?What Is Jealousy?
  • Why Am I Jealous?Why Am I Jealous?
  • How to Stop Being JealousHow to Stop Being Jealous
  • When to Seek HelpWhen to Seek Help
  • In My ExperienceIn My Experience
  • ResourcesResources
  • InfographicsInfographics

How to Stop Being Jealous: 15 Tips

Silvi Saxena MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C

Written by: Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C

Kristen Fuller, MD

Reviewed by: Kristen Fuller, MD

Published: November 28, 2023

Learning to stop being jealous often involves addressing underlying insecurities, fixing communication, and practicing self-love. Jealousy impacts not only your self-confidence but also your relationships and overall well-being. Coping with jealousy can be challenging, but managing and overcoming these feelings is possible with time and effort.

Jealousy can destroy relationships. Therapy can help you develop higher self-esteem and build trusting relationships. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp

Visit BetterHelp

What Is Jealousy?

Jealousy is typically rooted in fear and insecurity, and people may project feelings of low self-esteem, inadequacy, or self-doubt onto others when they succeed. For example, seeing others receive appreciation, reach goals, and mature can leave individuals wanting more in their lives, contributing to envy and jealousy. Determining why you feel negatively about your life and belongings can help when dealing with jealousy.

Why Am I Jealous?

Fears and insecurities behind jealousy often stem from a lack of confidence and control over life. Examining situations, people, and places that trigger these feelings can help when wondering, “Why am I so jealous?” For example, do you feel personally lacking in specific characteristics or a lack of control and influence over your life? Whatever the case, exploring the possible reasons can help you start overcoming jealousy.

Below are possible reasons why you are feeling jealous:

  • You feel left out: We may automatically feel replaced or betrayed when others leave us out of events, conversations, or similar situations. Exclusion can trigger jealousy because we want that sense of belonging and acceptance.
  • You don’t have what others have: You may feel “less than” when someone else has the things you want for your life. For instance, you may believe your life is lacking because you do not have a better car, house, or job than your neighbor.
  • You feel behind in your life: We can easily create a hierarchy of comparative success when we constantly compare ourselves to others. Doing so highlights the areas where you feel lacking, leading to feelings of jealousy.
  • You doubt yourself: Doubting yourself leads to insecurity and fears that can be a foundation for jealous feelings to develop.

How to Stop Being Jealous: 15 Helpful Tips

Determining how to overcome jealousy will depend on your unique situation and experience. Each person has different reasons for jealousy, so you should choose healthy lifestyle changes that best suit your journey toward self-acceptance and gratitude.

Below are 15 tips on how to stop being jealous:

1. Practice Mindfulness Meditation

Finding a specific or sacred meditation spot can help you reflect and take things slowly. Meditation offers space to process emotions differently so you can react to distressing situations more healthily. You can become more mindful of your jealousy as it arises, identify the cause, and take necessary action to deflect any self-doubt or negative feelings.1

2. Be Honest About Your Feelings

Healthy communication enhances romantic partnerships, friendships, and professional relationships. Open discussion allows you to express yourself when feeling jealous, uneasy, or anxious. Share your struggles with your partner or loved ones to gain insight and collaborate on the next steps moving forward.

3. Determine the Cause of Your Jealousy

Getting to the heart of your issues is the most important thing when figuring out how to deal with jealousy. For example, insecurities from childhood may leave you feeling unfulfilled, leading to jealousy when others succeed. For others, past relationships or traumatic events could fuel envy. Whatever the case, identifying these triggers can help you determine areas of improvement and growth in your life.

4. Seek Social Support

Insecurity breeds in isolation, reinforcing jealousy. Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals can help you challenge negative narratives about a person, situation, or past events. Doing so may aid in controlling your envy and addressing your triggers.

5. Practice Gratitude

Losing sight of things to celebrate is easy when we only focus on the negative aspects of ourselves and our lives. Cultivating a habit of gratitude can help rebalance your perspective and ultimately decrease jealousy.

6. Address Underlying Issues

Addressing the underlying issues in your life can be powerful when managing jealousy. Healing past wounds from childhood, relationships, and experiences may shift your focus toward the positives in your life, allowing you to combat unwanted jealousy.

7. Focus on Improving Your Self-Esteem & Confidence

Because jealousy is rooted in insecurities, comparisons can reinforce our negative self-beliefs. Building our self-esteem and confidence clears the kindling needed to fuel the fire of jealousy. Over time, the intensity and frequency of envy can reduce as we develop an innate sense of self-worth.

8. Be Patient

Sometimes, jealousy stems from feeling out of control in situations. We may envy those who have already achieved similar goals, passing and evolving past us. However, remind yourself that everyone moves at a different pace. Staying present with yourself in the current moment can help you accept your current circumstances and feel hopeful for your future.

9. Reflect on Your Jealousy & Make Changes

Our emotions alert us about inner problems and experiences. For example, your jealousy may indicate where you have unresolved pain or something you greatly desire. Reflecting on what jealousy is trying to tell you may help you heal the issues behind these feelings, make improvements, and find self-acceptance.

10. Practice Self-Love & Compassion

Struggling with jealousy is easy when you cannot see the good things about yourself. Lack of self-love and grace means you will always feel unworthy, which sets the stage for jealousy. Learning to love yourself will help you challenge and balance jealousy when you feel overwhelmed by envy.

11. Identify Your Triggers

Experiencing jealousy without recognizing the cause means missing opportunities to manage jealousy in the future. Reflecting on the events that preceded these feelings can help you work backward through the situation sto build awareness. When you know your triggers, you can address the underlying issue and respond differently in the future.

12. Build Emotional Intimacy

Focus on building emotional intimacy in a relationship to reduce your feelings of insecurity. Your sense of safety and stability increases when you feel more connected with a person. You can communicate more directly and clearly about your needs and hopes for the relationship. All of these things can reduce your feelings of jealousy.2

13. Revisit Your Expectations

Sometimes, we get jealous because we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and our relationships. When we do this, we subconsciously compare the current moment to the ideal expectations we have created within our minds. Revise your standards if you constantly and consistently feel jealous about a specific person or situation. No individual is perfect, and setting yourself up for failure will only exacerbate your envy.

14. Recognize the Impacts of Jealousy

Unchecked jealousy rages and wreaks havoc on our relationships and self-esteem. We have little motivation to tackle uncomfortable emotions and situations if we cannot recognize the impacts of jealousy. When you identify what you may lose if you do not address your jealousy directly, you are much more likely to take active steps toward managing and working through the causes of your envy.

15. Forgive & Let Go

Holding on to past events and insecurities contributing to jealousy will only erode your relationships. Permit yourself to forgive someone and move forward if they have taken the necessary steps to apologize and work on themselves.* Doing so can be invaluable when letting go of jealousy.

*This excludes abusive, coercive, and toxic relationships. 

When to Seek Professional Help

Objective feedback and guidance from a professional are always helpful when getting over jealousy. Therapists can encourage you to acknowledge and address your inner critic, allowing you to overcome self-doubt or anger-fueling envy.3 Coping with jealousy may sound challenging, but seeking support can provide valuable skills and tools to enact change. You can start finding the right therapist on an online therapist directory or reviewing in-network providers.

In My Experience

Silvi Saxena MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
“Jealousy can be an incredibly corrosive emotion that can erode our relationships, self-worth, and overall life satisfaction. You may feel jealous for many reasons, but jealousy is not static. You can overcome envy by addressing your own struggles and learning to love yourself.”

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

Online Therapy 

BetterHelp Get support and guidance from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp has over 20,000 therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy.  Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online Psychiatry

Hims / Hers If you’re living with anxiety or depression, finding the right medication match may make all the difference. Connect with a licensed healthcare provider in just 12 – 48 hours. Explore FDA-approved treatment options and get free shipping, if prescribed. No insurance required. Get Started

Reduce Drinking

Sunnyside Want to drink less? Sunnyside helps you ease into mindful drinking at your own pace. Think lifestyle change, not a fad diet. Develop new daily routines, so you maintain your new habits for life. Take a 3 Minute Quiz

Mental Health Newsletter

A free newsletter from Choosing Therapy for those interested in mental health issues and fighting the stigma. Get helpful tips and the latest information. Sign Up

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp, Hims / Hers, and Sunnyside. 

For Further Reading

  • Self-Help Groups: What They Are & How They Work
  • How to Deal With Jealousy In a Relationship
  • What is Retroactive Jealousy?

Find a therapist for self esteem

Get the help you need from a therapist near you

City or zip Search

California
Connecticut
Colorado
Florida
Georgia
Illinois
Indiana
Kentucky
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Missouri
New Jersey
New York
North Carolina
Pennsylvania
Texas
Virginia

Are you a Therapist? Get Listed Today

How to Stop Being Jealous Infographics

What Is Jealousy? How to Stop Being Jealous: 15 Helpful Tips How to Stop Being Jealous: 15 Helpful Tips

Sources Update History

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Vanderheiden, E. (2019). “Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish Me”—Transforming shame through mindfulness. In Springer eBooks (pp. 505–519). https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-13409-9_33

  • Knobloch, L. K., Solomon, D. H., & Cruz, M. G. (2001). The role of relationship development and attachment in the experience of romantic jealousy. Personal Relationships, 8(2), 205–224. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2001.tb00036.x

  • Friel, J.A. (2016). What Detoxifies Shame in Integrative Psychotherapy? an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. British Journal of Psychotherapy, 32(4), 532-546.

Show more

We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

November 28, 2023
Author: No Change
Reviewer: No Change
Primary Changes: Edited for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Revised “How to Stop Being Jealous.” Added “What Is Jealousy” and “Why Am I Jealous.” New material written by Maggie Holland MA, MHP, LMHC and reviewed by Heidi Moawad, MD.
November 12, 2021
Author: Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD
Show more

Recent Articles

Low Self-Esteem
Low Self-Esteem: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope
Low self-esteem often involves being incredibly self-critical, conscious, and doubtful. Those with low self-esteem may struggle with people-pleasing and...
';
How to Love Yourself
How to Love Yourself: 22 Tips From Therapists
';
Shame
Shame: Definition, Examples, Causes, & How to Cope
Shame describes feelings of inadequacy created by internalized negative self-beliefs. Personal insecurities, secrets, mistakes, and perceived flaws can all...
';
Setting Boundaries
Setting Boundaries: 15 Healthy Tips for Success
Setting boundaries can be challenging but is an essential part of self-respect. You must first recognize and assert your...
';
How to Say No Politely
How to Say No Politely: 19 Helpful Tips
Learning to say no can be challenging but essential when setting boundaries and validating your needs. Simply saying “no”...
';
Jealousy Definition, Causes, & Ways to Cope
Jealousy: Definition, Causes, & Ways to Cope
It is natural to feel jealous every once in a while, but in the long-term, it can have a...
';
  • What Is Jealousy?What Is Jealousy?
  • Why Am I Jealous?Why Am I Jealous?
  • How to Stop Being JealousHow to Stop Being Jealous
  • When to Seek HelpWhen to Seek Help
  • In My ExperienceIn My Experience
  • ResourcesResources
  • InfographicsInfographics
Choosing Therapy Logo White
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service

FOR IMMEDIATE HELP CALL:

Medical Emergency: 911

Suicide Hotline: 988

View More Crisis Hotlines
Choosing Therapy on Facebook
Choosing Therapy on Instagram
Choosing Therapy on Twitter
Choosing Therapy on Linkedin
Choosing Therapy on Pinterest
Choosing Therapy on Tiktok
Choosing Therapy on Youtube

© 2023 Choosing Therapy, Inc. All rights reserved.