What Does It Mean to Be Bigender?

What Does Bigender Mean?

Someone who is bigender has two gender identities which they can feel one at a time or simultaneously. The genders don’t have to be opposite genders on any spectrum of gender identities.

Nonbinary can be used to describe someone who is bigender, depending on the genders the bigender person identifies with. However, it is important to know the differences. Being bigender can also mean someone is genderfluid.

We should also take a moment to discuss the difference between sex and gender. Sex is a term that describes if someone is male or female anatomically, biologically, and chemically. At the same time, gender refers to how someone personally identifies with their sex and the construct of what it means to be a male or female, man or woman, boy or girl.¹

Bigender Vs. Transgender

Someone who is bigender has two gender identities simultaneously, while someone who is transgender has a gender identity opposite of the sex they were assigned at birth.¹

Bigender Vs. Non-Binary

There is a lot of overlap between bigender and nonbinary identities. Being bigender falls under the umbrella of being nonbinary as it doesn’t fit into the gender identity of a man or woman. Someone who is nonbinary doesn’t have to be bigender. Those who are nonbinary identify may lie somewhere in between being a man or a woman. A non-binary person may not think of themselves as both man and woman. However, someone who is bigender may identify as both.¹

Other non-binary identities include:

• Agender
• Genderfluid
• Genderqueer
• Pangender

Bigender Vs. Genderfluid

A genderfluid person may see gender in a spectrum and feel they can relate and fit in with all genders. In a sense, that means they could be bigender, but that isn’t always the case. The nature of gender fluidity is that how someone identifies can change.¹

Bigender Vs. Bisexual

Bigender has nothing to do with sexual orientation. However, bigender and bisexual are often mistakenly thought to be the same. Bisexuality is a sexual orientation and refers to someone who is attracted to their own gender and other genders. Someone who is bisexual can be bigender, but they frequently are not.¹

What Pronouns Do Bigender People Use?

Pronouns used by people who identify as bigender can vary. Some bigender people may choose they/them, while others may prefer both he/him and she/hers. They may use all three sets of pronouns or just two. There is no exact science to this as this can vary depending on the individual’s bigender preferences and identity.²

What Does Bigender Look Like?

Being bigender may mean different things to different people, and there is no right or wrong way to express your gender identity. Someone who is bigender may express two gender identities simultaneously or one at a time. The way a bigender person appears is just as individual as the person. Their expression of their gender identity may be obvious or more reserved.²

Signs You Might Be Bigender

There is more than one way to be bigender. You may have a couple of preferences that may fit into a neat box, or your preferences around your gender identity may be unique to you. All are valid.³

The following are signs you might be bigender:

• You experience gender dysphoria: Gender dysphoria is the feeling of your inner world not fitting in with your outward world, your perception of self, or how you think you are being perceived by others regarding your gender identity.
• You have two ways of expressing yourself: The feeling of dual expression refers to the need to express yourself differently based on different situations.
• You don’t always relate to your assigned sex at birth: If you don’t relate to your sex at birth, you may be bigender or adjusting your identity to transgender.
• You experience gender euphoria: Gender euphoria is the feeling of empowerment and alignment in their gender identity. When a person who is bigender feels balanced in how their gender is expressed and perceived, they may experience gender euphoria.
• You don’t fit into a box: If you find yourself not aligning with your gender and sexual identities, you may feel as though you don’t belong in the traditional gender roles.
• You are uncomfortable in your body: If you are assigned a sex at birth with which you don’t, or don’t always, align it can be a sign you are uncovering your bigender identity.³

How to Support Someone Who Is Bigender

Being a part of a gender minority can be isolating and confusing. Additionally, it can come with a lot of stigmas. If someone you love identifies as bigender, taking extra time to understand, validate and affirm who they are, and taking care not to reduce their identity to their gender identity can be very helpful and empowering.

Below are some ways that you can support a bigender individual:

• Learn their pronouns: Pronouns are how we want to be perceived in the world, and learning others’ pronouns helps others feel seen in their desired way.
• Don’t make assumptions: Assumptions can lead to heartache and pain for those not part of a majority. Some assumptions come across as judgments rather than an interest in the person’s feelings.
• Ask questions:  Asking questions shows interest in learning from your bigender loved one and not basing your perceptions on often stigmatized viewpoints.
• Be respectful: Everyone deserves respect. You don’t have to identify or agree with everything someone is or who they represent, but you must respect everyone, even those different from you.
• Be an ally: It’s one thing to support and stand up for someone being harassed or bullied. However, speaking up for this group of people when they are not in the room is where the power to evolve and move toward inclusion can occur.
• Be open: Learning more about the topic and history of gender and sex identities and the history is important. There is a lot you can learn from reading, watching documentaries, and listening to personal stories and podcasts. Be open to what is different from the world and the ideas you know.⁴

Finding Gender-Affirming Care

If you are learning more about your gender and feel you may be bigender, it can be hard to find someone to talk to. Finding and working with an LGTBGQ+ therapist can allow you to be open and upfront in your initial conversations about what you need. There are also  LGTBQ+ online therapy options available if you are in a location/situation where you cannot access in-person therapy.

In My Experience

Bigender is a beautiful experience for those who identify. There is nothing wrong with how you express yourselves, and you should not be made to feel otherwise because others don’t agree with your identity. You are valid and enough as you are. If you are struggling with your feelings around your gender identity or feeling understood by a loved one, talking to a professional is a great way to get a handle on your feelings. Remember, everyone wants to be included and feel that we are equally deserving of the same respect afforded to our counterparts who are in the majority. Nothing should get in the way of equal access and treatment in life. Remember, you are not alone, and you are supported.