Bisexuality: What It Means, Misconceptions, & More

What Does Being Bisexual Mean?

A person who identifies as bisexual experiences attraction to individuals of two different genders. However, this identity is unique for everyone in the way it’s practiced and experienced. Many common perceptions of sexual orientation result in a person viewing sexuality in terms of the gender-binary. They may think of bisexuality as someone being attracted only to both cis men and cis women, but this is not always the case.

Bisexual Vs. Pansexual

The terms pansexuality and bisexuality are sometimes used interchangeably, but these are two distinct identities. Individuals who identify as pansexual versus bisexual are sexually or romantically attracted to any or all genders, thus differentiating them from bisexuals.

Bisexual Vs. Cross or Mixed Orientation

Because sexual and romantic attraction are not the same, it is possible for a person to identify as different orientations. For example, someone can be romantically attracted to multiple genders, but sexually attracted to only one. An individual may also seek romantic involvement with those of a certain gender without experiencing sexual feelings at all or with anyone–or vise versa. Such is the case for those who are asexual or aromantic.

Bisexuality Myths & Misconceptions

Due to certain stereotypes, it is not uncommon for bisexual individuals to encounter biphobia or negative stigma about their identity–sometimes even within the LGBTQ community. Some people feel that bisexuality is “just a phase” a person will outgrow, leading to bi erasure and great impact on the mental health and emotional well-being of the identifying individual.

Common misconceptions about bisexuality include:

Only Women Are Bisexual

It is often believed that only women can identify as bisexual or that there are “no bisexual men.” This myth is often perpetuated in the media, as well as by stigmas that women’s sexuality is more expressive and diverse than that of males.¹

Bisexual People Cheat More

Unfortunately, some people believe that bisexuals are more likely to cheat or be promiscuous. This stereotype is even prevalent within the LGBTQ community itself, resulting in many bisexual individuals feeling unfairly dismissed in the dating pool.²

Bisexual People Are Confused

A common myth about bisexual people is that they are confused, or unsure what gender they “prefer.” Some assume that if a person is with a partner of a different gender, they are not actually bisexual. For example, if a bisexual cis woman is in a long-term monogamous relationship with a cis man, she must be “straight.” Because of this, many bisexuals struggle against heteronormative stereotypes when in such relationships.²

How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual?

Like any other orientation, bisexuality looks different for everyone. For instance, someone can be sexually fluid or change their definition of their sexuality over time. A person who identifies as bisexual can later come out as pansexual. Even if a bisexual individual is in a monogamous relationship with a partner of the opposite gender, they can still identify as bisexual.

Below are signs that you might be bisexual:

• You have romantic feelings for more than one gender.
• You are physically attracted to more than one gender.
• You feel comfortable with the label “bisexual.”
• You are interested in sexual intimacy with more than one gender.
• You find yourself attracted to celebrities or fictional characters regardless of gender.
• You just know it!

Do I Have to Label My Sexuality?

You do not have to label your sexual orientation if you do not want to. While this can be a good thing for some people, it may not be for everyone. Those who seek a sense of belonging within the LGBTQ community, or prefer to have a method of identifying themselves, may benefit from coming out as bisexual. Still, others may not feel comfortable with this, which is completely normal and okay.³ You should always make decisions with your own interest in mind.

How to Talk to Your Loved Ones About Bisexuality

Coming out to friends and family may feel like a necessary step when choosing to identify as bisexual. However, just like labeling your sexuality, you do not have to do so. You can also choose to identify with only certain people or in certain situations. Remind yourself that you do not owe anyone an explanation about yourself or your orientation. It is your choice who you do and do not come out to, in what order you do so, and on your own terms.

How to Support a Bisexual Person

Many people want to know how to support a loved one when they come out as bisexual. While the most important thing you can do is be an advocate, remaining open minded and non-judgmental is also essential.

Below are some ways you can support a bisexual person:

• Be an ally: Those in marginalized groups often face discrimination and pushback from society. Being an ally and supporting LGBTQ people’s rights is essential to showing your support.
• Be open minded: Sometimes, friends and family can make offensive statements about a person’s identity without realizing. Being open minded can help you avoid this and continue offering support.
• Learn more about bisexuality: Learning more about your loved one’s sexuality helps show them that you care about them and are interested in their identity.
• Respect their identifying language: It is always important to respect and use the language that a person identifies with. For example, using LGBTQ inclusive language at work and in social situations is helpful.
• Recognize any biases you might have: As you interact with a bisexual loved one, take note of any biases you might have and work to improve them.

How Therapy Can Help

If you are feeling conflicted about your identity or have questions about how to come out, it can be helpful to seek professional help. Consider finding an LGBTQ+ therapist as they will have beneficial knowledge to offer and be understanding of your experiences. If you would prefer at-home rather than in-person sessions, there are many LGBTQ+ online therapy options available, too. You can start your search using an online therapist directory.

Final Thoughts

If you have continued questions about bisexuality or any other romantic or sexual orientation on the spectrum, it may be valuable to speak with an affirming therapist. Loved ones of a bisexual person can continue to learn more about the person’s identity, offer support, and advocate when possible.