Emotional Meltdown: Why It Happens & What to Do About It

What Is an Emotional Meltdown?

An emotional meltdown is not a medical diagnosis but a stress response. Some people who experience emotional meltdowns have emotional dysregulation issues, but not always- as sometimes an emotional meltdown is just a normal reaction to a very bad situation.

Unlike a tantrum, an inappropriate response to someone not getting what they want, an emotional meltdown is due to being overwhelmed and unable to handle the stress.

What Causes Emotional Meltdowns?

People often have ‘triggers’ or events that are precursors to their emotional meltdowns. These moments contain stressful elements, unique to each individual, that lead to them having an emotional meltdown.

Common triggers of emotional meltdowns include:

• Sensory overstimulation: Sensory overstimulation is when the brain is flooded with many stimuli simultaneously. Over stimulation can trigger an emotional meltdown due to the stressful experience of trying to filter out stimuli.
• Accumulated stress: Accumulated stress is when stressful events and experiences seem to pile up without any way to work through them. This experience can lead to an emotional meltdown if someone cannot find a way to calm down.
• Emotional exhaustion: Experiencing emotional exhaustion is when the emotions and stresses pile up with no emotional break in between and can be stressful for anyone. Emotional exhaustion can trigger an emotional meltdown, especially if the person cannot get relief.
• Unresolved traumatic experiences: Unresolved trauma can stay with us through our lives, often poking up when we are faced with stressful experiences or during moments that bring up the feelings we experienced during the trauma or its aftermath. This is why unresolved trauma can lead to emotional meltdowns even years after the original trauma(s) have passed.
• Having physical stressors: Being too hot, too cold, or having low blood sugar can trigger increases in emotional reactivity.
• Being overwhelmed: The feeling of being overwhelmed, such as having too many things going on at work and feeling unable to keep up, can lead to an emotional meltdown- especially if the person cannot get relief.
• Unable to express yourself: Bottling up emotions from frustrations or stressful events can lead to an emotional explosion later.

h2 data-nav=”Meltdown Behaviors”>Brain Responses & Behavior During Emotional Meltdowns

Emotional meltdowns happen due to the effect of intense emotional stress on our brains, which often provoke a fight-or-flight response. When this happens, our brain is in survival mode, which can affect our reasoning and behavior.

How To Know If You Are Having an Emotional Meltdown

Sometimes, knowing that you are having an emotional meltdown can be challenging until it is too late, and you are already in the middle of it. Some of the ways you can know if you are experiencing an emotional meltdown are uncontrolled crying, anger, or irritability that presents as snapping at others or lashing out or physical symptoms such as headaches or inability to sleep.

How to Prevent Emotional Meltdowns

Knowing how to prevent an emotional meltdown can be helpful, especially if you are prone to stress and emotional reactivity. By proactively managing your mental health and learning how to react to situations in healthier ways, you can decrease the likelihood of emotional meltdowns.

Here are some ways to help prevent emotional meltdowns:

• Establish a stress-reducing routine: Working stress-reduction activities into your schedule can help prevent emotional meltdowns. Getting adequate rest, exercising, and practicing meditation are all activities that can help you manage stress.
• Spend more time in nature: Spending time in nature can improve mood.¹ Therefore, spending more time in nature can help decrease stress and hopefully help prevent emotional breakdowns.
• Journal: Journaling for your mental health is a great way to decrease stress and develop increased self-awareness of what is causing emotional meltdowns.
• Get adequate sleep: Sleep is essential for your body and mind. When we sleep, we give our brain time to process and recover from the day’s stress.²
• Move your body: Due to the feel-good hormones released during exercise and movement, exercise can help mental health by stabilizing mood and decreasing stress.³
• Let yourself feel it: Allowing yourself to cry or feel the stress can help prevent it from worsening. Give yourself a few minutes to cry if needed; this will likely help you feel better afterward.

How to Manage an Emotional Meltdown

While we can’t stop difficult situations from happening, nor can we predict their effect on us, we can change how we react to them by noticing the signs of emotional changes within us. This means that by recognizing when we are becoming too stressed emotionally, for example, we can better control the likelihood of preventing an emotional meltdown.

One of the ways to do this is by recognizing the physical signs of an oncoming emotional breakdown, and using techniques to cope. Taking a break from the situation, focusing on breathing, or having a snack when needed can help prevent- or at least decrease- an emotional meltdown.

It is important to practice these methods in times not exclusive to meltdowns. Like any other skills, if they are desired to be used well in times of high stress they must be built and developed over time and repetition.

Here are several ways to stop an emotional meltdown:

Grounding Techniques

Grounding has been shown to reduce anxiety.^4,5 There are many different grounding techniques that work by bringing your attention to the present to help improve focus and decrease stress.

One technique is to bring your mind into the present by using the 5,4,3,2,1 method: calling out 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Even if you cannot make it through all five, you have likely decreased your anxiety by bringing your mind into the present.

Breathwork

Much like grounding, breathwork helps by bringing your mind into the present by improving focus and attention. Breathwork such as the following activity can help emotional meltdowns: The 5, 5, 5 method works by breathing in for 5 seconds, holding for 5 seconds, and releasing the breath for another count of 5 seconds.

Feel free to change the duration if a longer or shorter amount of time feels more comfortable.

Take a Break

If you notice that your stress and anxiety are increasing, it is likely time to give yourself a break. Take a lunch break or even just a few minutes to walk around the building or outside. Giving your mind space away from the stressful event can help prevent an emotional meltdown.

Shut Your Eyes for a Few Seconds

When you are overstimulated by external or internal stimuli, taking a few seconds to shut out your environment can help you recalibrate and reorient yourself. This works best when you are in a place where you can shut your eyes for a few seconds safely, such as in your office or your home.

Start by closing your eyes and counting slowly to 5 or 10 seconds. Repeat as needed and for longer durations if able.

Check-in With Yourself

If you are becoming stressed or irritable, take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask what is going on and if there are any ways to decrease it. Sometimes, saying things out loud (or even in your head!) can help because of the simple acknowledgment.

Change the Body’s Position

When able to do so, changing the body’s position can help with emotional stress. If you are standing, take a seat for a few minutes. If you have been sitting for a while, such as in your office at work, take a moment to stand up and take a walk to the bathroom or to refill your water bottle.

How to Recover After an Emotional Meltdown

Many common feelings are experienced after having an emotional meltdown. Feeling relief and a sense of calm is common. Feeling exhausted, both mentally and physically, is also a common experience due to the emotional hangover.

It is also possible that the person can feel embarrassed or frustrated, especially if they are not used to displaying their emotions. The good thing is that there are ways to move on and recover from these experiences, no matter how they make you feel after. Taking time to regroup by practicing self-care can help you recover.

How to Support Someone Experiencing an Emotional Meltdown

When a friend or loved one is having an emotional meltdown, it can be difficult to know what to do. Depending on your relationship with the person, you might not feel you can help them. For example, your support for a partner or family member will likely look different than how you support a colleague or classmate.

Having patience and understanding are the most crucial elements to helping someone having an emotional meltdown. Try to remain judgment free. This means asking them what is going on, and if they want to talk about it, rather than telling them to “calm down.” No matter what, maintaining safe boundaries is essential to prevent emotional burnout. Supporting someone in a healthy way looks like support and empathy, whereas unhealthy support can look like trying to solve the problem for them, or taking on their feelings as your own.

When to Seek Professional Help for Emotional Meltdowns

While occasionally having an emotional meltdown is not usually a cause for concern, as it is likely a normal reaction to a stressful environment, there may be times when you feel like you are unable to handle the stress in your life. If this happens, consider therapy as a source of support. There are many different ways that therapy works, along with the usage of different therapeutic modalities.

Some treatment options for managing emotions include:

• Emotion-focused coping:  Emotion-focused coping can be used to help people better manage their emotions, because it involves teaching skills to cope with stressful feelings.
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: ACT teaches that stressful situations are an inevitable part of life, so instead of trying to avoid them, it is better to know how to support yourself when they come. It teaches people how to cope when stressful situations come.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Because what we think can affect how we feel, we can actually increase our stress with the messages we tell ourselves. CBT teaches how to redirect these harmful thoughts, which can help change resulting feelings and behaviors.
• Dialectical behavior therapy: DBT helps clients learn ways to cope with distress tolerance, and can be helpful for those prone to emotional meltdowns.

Where to Find a Therapist

If you are looking for support for emotional meltdowns, or to help you deal with stress, there are some ways to find a therapist: start with an online search, to see if there is anyone licensed in your area. Check out their website to get an idea of how they are and if you would feel comfortable with them. An online therapist directory can be a helpful resource for finding therapists who work with emotional stress, and who are licensed in your area.