Feeling homesick is common following a move like going away to college. Reactions to homesickness can vary but may include depression, anxiety, and physical complaints. Recovering from homesickness involves maintaining a connection to your old home while taking steps to gradually adjust to your new environment. Therapy can also provide a safe space to talk about and cope with your homesickness.
What Is Homesickness?
Homesickness, which involves feelings of distress (could be emotional or physical), can happen when a person is separated from home and/or their loved ones.1 People may experience it following a temporary or permanent move, like relocating to a new area, going away to summer camp or college, or being hospitalized.1,2,3 Some people may even feel homesick in anticipation of a future separation.
Most children, teens, and adults experience homesickness at some point in their lives to varying degrees, but some are more prone to it than others. For example, one study found that people with a neurotic personality type were more likely to experience homesickness than those with other personality types.4
Homesickness is not technically a mental health disorder. In fact, mild homesickness that gradually decreases over time is normal and not cause for concern. However, homesickness that is severe, persists for a long period of time, or significantly affects your life may indicate an underlying mental health issue like an anxiety disorder or depression. If that’s the case, a therapist can assess your symptoms, determine your diagnosis, and offer therapy to help you recover and adjust to your new environment.
What Happens in Our Minds & Bodies When We’re Homesick?
Feeling homesick can affect you physically and emotionally. Symptoms mimic other mental health disorders like depression and anxiety, as well as physical conditions. While people may respond to homesickness differently, there are some common reactions.5 If you’re dealing with homesickness, you may experience some or all of the following symptoms.
Common emotional symptoms of homesickness are:1
- Depressed mood
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Anger
- Isolation from other people
- Difficulty concentrating
- Low motivation
Common physical symptoms of homesickness are:2
- Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
- Headaches
- Body aches and pains
- Increased or decreased appetite
- Stomach problems
- Low energy
Each person’s experience of homesickness may be different and can depend upon whether the move or change in environment is temporary or permanent, whether or not they are dealing with other stressors, and their level of social support.
What Does Homesickness Look Like?
Homesickness presents differently from person to person. Some may experience mild sadness that goes away rather quickly, while others may experience more significant anxiety or depression. Homesickness can affect many different areas of a person’s life, like their relationships and ability to function at work. Homesick individuals may isolate and possibly turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs, or gambling.2
According to Linda Serra Hagedorn, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus at Iowa State University, “The signs of homesickness are typically similar to those of depression. For example, the homesick may exhibit sleep problems such as difficulty to sleep or extreme sleepiness leading to sleeping most of the day. The homesick may exhibit emotional behaviors such as anxiety or appearing to be “mad at the world.” Homesickness can sometimes bring on physical aches and pains. Of course, the number one symptom of homesickness is feelings of loneliness and loss.”11
Homesickness also affects children and teens differently than adults. Children and teens may express their negative emotions through acting out, temper tantrums, or problems in school. Homesickness may have a particular impact on children because they usually have little control over a change like a move. Therefore, they may feel powerless and struggle to adjust.
7 Tips to Deal With Homesickness
Coping with feeling homesick involves balancing your ability to remain connected to your past while also adjusting to a new place or experience. Recovering from homesickness also takes time. Remember to try and remain patient throughout the process.
Here are seven tips to help you cope with homesickness:
1. Know That Your Feelings Are Normal
Homesickness can bring up a range of emotions, including sadness, worry, and anger. These reactions are all normal. Often distress comes from denying our feelings rather than accepting them as they are. Instead of judging yourself for feeling homesick, remember that it is OK to feel this way and, at some point, these feelings will go away.
Mindfulness and meditation exercises can be an effective way to practice self-acceptance and tolerance for difficult emotions. You can try one of these practices by taking a class, listening to a recording, or practicing on your own (i.e., sitting quietly and observing your emotions without judgement).
2. Find a Positive Outlet for Your Feelings
Once you have given yourself permission to experience your feelings, it is helpful to find an outlet. Some people gravitate toward creative pursuits like art, writing, or dance, while others may prefer physical outlets like exercise or team sports. Others may prefer socializing or spending time alone in order to cope with negative feelings.
Take advantage of whatever outlet feels right for you. When you are feeling negative, it is natural to feel unmotivated, which can lead to avoiding activities that could be helpful for you. Encourage yourself to try something positive, even for just a few minutes.
3. Explore Your New Area
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is a big step toward adjusting to a new environment. This can feel scary and overwhelming, but is necessary to help you move forward. Consider seeking out places, activities, or groups that interest you. Do something that you enjoyed doing in your previous home. Making an effort to familiarize yourself with a new area will help you grow more comfortable.
Hagedorn notes, “I have worked with many international college students who are far from home and who have had very little previous time away from friends and family. Most of these brave students confront homesickness to some extent, and almost all of them overcome it. The most successful are those who can invest themselves in their new lives. They force themselves to meet others and to participate in activities.”
4. Keep an Item That Reminds You of Home
Having a reminder of home, like a photo, blanket, stuffed animal, or family heirloom, can help ease the distress associated with being away from home. These items can serve as a source of comfort, making it easier to be in a new environment. Therapists call these “transitional objects.” Select one or more items that you associate with home and comfort and keep them nearby for when you’re feeling low.6
5. Keep Old Memories & Establish New Ones
When you move to a new area, you will likely find yourself missing parts of your old life. You may find yourself reliving past memories and yearning for the old times. It can help to hold onto these memories, but it is also important to create new ones. Making new memories in new places is a part of the process of moving forward. You’ll know that you’ve made strides in recovering from your homesickness when you’re able to keep your old memories and make new ones.
6. Take Care of Your Health
If you’re struggling with feeling sad, anxious, overwhelmed, or physically unwell due to homesickness, taking care of your health is important. There is a connection between how well you care for your body and how you feel emotionally. Eating a nutritious diet, exercising, and sleeping well are three important components of self-care.
Consider whether you might benefit from making lifestyle changes that could help improve your overall well-being. To maintain a healthy lifestyle, professionals recommended at least 150 minutes of exercise each week, seven to eight hours of sleep, and a healthy diet consisting of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and protein.7,8,9
7. Find Ways to Stay Connected
Find ways to stay in touch with friends and family to maintain a sense of connection to your former home. Consider creative ways to stay in touch, like scheduling video chats, phone calls, or writing letters. Social media is another way to stay in touch, but it may not feel as satisfying as using other mediums.
Hagedorn cautions, “It is beneficial to stay in touch with family and friends but limit the number of calls or online meetings, allowing yourself to meet others in the new environment.”
Put effort into establishing connections in your new area, too. Consider joining an activity, sport, or gym to meet new people. It is important to balance staying connected with old friends and family and developing new relationships.
Hagedorn encourages, “I know that just telling someone to ‘join a club,’ exercise, or socialize is easier said than done. But the more the homesick can invest into their new lives, the quicker the homesick feelings can dissipate.”
What NOT to Do When You’re Homesick
There are unhealthy coping mechanisms you should avoid if you’re homesick, including isolating, engaging in harmful behaviors, and disconnecting from your support system.
If you’re feeling homesick, avoid the following:
- Relying on drugs, alcohol, or other substances to cope
- Engaging in excessive gambling, shopping, sex, or other harmful behaviors
- Taking on too many responsibilities at one time
- Making big decisions without thinking them through
- Making several big changes at once
- Disconnecting from your support system
- Isolating from the outside world
- Giving up on positive activities that once brought you pleasure
- Neglecting to care for your physical and mental health
- Stopping any prescription medications, like antidepressants, without first speaking with your healthcare provider
When to Get Professional Help for Feelings of Homesickness
Mild depression and anxiety are normal feelings to experience while homesick. These reactions are not necessarily a problem or a sign that you need professional help. However, if your feelings are severe, continue for a long period of time, or are interfering with your life, then you may benefit from getting help.
Some people who experience homesickness may be dealing with an adjustment disorder, which is a mental health condition that arises when a person has a hard time coping with a change.10 They will likely experience anxiety, depression, or other negative emotions within three months of a stressful event. Other people may develop more serious emotional conditions, like major depressive disorder (MDD) or generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).
A competent therapist can conduct an evaluation to determine whether you are suffering from a mental health disorder and offer treatment if needed. Therapy can be an effective treatment for coping with homesickness and helping you adjust to life changes.
How to Find a Therapist
Finding a therapist can seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Start by speaking with your doctor or healthcare provider. They may be able to provide you with a referral or recommendation for a therapist who specializes in the appropriate area. If you would like to use your health insurance to pay for therapy, contact your insurance company’s customer service center for a list of in-network therapists.
Another easy way to locate a therapist is to use Choosing Therapy’s directory. It allows you to indicate your preferences, like what type of therapist, area of specialty, cost, and location you would like. Browse through the list of therapists that match your criteria and contact the best fit. You can even schedule your first appointment online.
Final Thoughts on Homesickness
Homesickness is a normal reaction to missing people or places that are important to you. It can manifest as sadness, anxiety, or physical health problems. Though homesickness can be difficult, it’s possible to feel better. Make an effort to take care of yourself, stay connected to your past, and take steps to establish new memories and relationships. Talking to a therapist can also help you overcome your homesickness.
For Further Reading
Homesickness Infographics
