Overprotective parenting refers to parents who hover or control their child’s actions. Overprotective parents want to ensure their child’s well-being, but their efforts can be intrusive and even detrimental. These parenting styles can cause family dynamic issues and stunt the child’s overall development.
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12 Signs of Overprotective Parents
All parents want their children to be healthy and do well in life. But overprotective parents often experience intense anxiety about their child’s safety. As a result, they tend to micromanage their child to prevent them from taking risks or getting hurt.1
Overprotective parents worry about many things. For example, they often feel concerned about their child’s physical safety. They may also worry about their child’s ability to perform, succeed, or manage a particular situation.
Twelve common signs of overprotective parents are:
- Taking over their child’s schoolwork to help them get a good grade.
- Continuously checking in on their child when separated.
- Managing their child’s friendships.
- Consistently reminding their child about avoiding danger.
- Doing all chores or taking over other essential responsibilities.
- Planning all their child’s social activities.
- Personalizing their child’s feelings.
- Consistently invading their child’s privacy.
- Controlling their child’s social interactions.
- Prohibiting or discouraging their child from taking age-appropriate risks.
- Fostering a sense of extreme dependency.
- Doing everything in their nature to prevent their children from falling.2
It’s normal for all parents to experience a few of these signs from time to time. Additionally, having just one or two of these signs doesn’t inherently indicate overprotective parenting. But if a parent consistently exhibits some or all of these symptoms, they might be overprotective.
What Is the Impact of Overprotective Parents on Mental Health?
Overprotective parenting can affect growing children in numerous ways. When a child continually feels the excess need to succeed, this pressure can affect their self-esteem and overall temperament. This dynamic can lead to mental health issues related to depression, anxiety, codependent relationships, disordered eating, and substance use.
Tiger parenting can be even more restrictive, as parents often place excess pressure on their child’s performance.
Subsequently, all children must learn how to differentiate from their caretakers. That means they need to understand and implement independent life skills. This is essential for long-term happiness and success.
But if a parent always rescues their child from harm, the child never truly understands risk or failure. As a result, they may grow up naive to the harsh realities of living in the real world. Or, they may become impulsive and irresponsible because they know someone will always be there with a safety net.3
Does Overprotective Parenting Impact Physical Health?
The relationship between overprotective parenting and mental health is complicated. Some research shows that children in stricter, authoritative households have more positive attitudes towards specific healthy nutrition behaviors.4
That said, the motives remain unclear. It’s unknown whether these children choose to value healthy living, or if they feel pressure from their parents to adopt this attitude.
Likewise, the impact of stress associated with overprotective parenting cannot be overstated. Chronic stress is associated with numerous health issues, including high blood pressure, muscle pain, fatigue, sleep problems, heart disease, diabetes, and obesity.6
Is Being an Overprotective Parent Effective?
Overprotective parenting may seem like a good idea, particularly when the parent feels anxious or out-of-control. Likewise, they may assume they know what’s best for their child. But overprotective parenting can leave lasting consequences on a child’s development. On the one hand, children may rebel against their parent’s expectations. If they feel too smothered, they may learn how to lie or manipulate their parents to “get them off their back.”
Additionally, many children grow up lacking the fortitude needed to survive in the real world. For example, they may not know how to wash dishes or pay bills. They may not know how to solve fundamental problems because they are used to someone else solving them. If they never experience natural consequences for their behavior, they often struggle with being responsible and accountable for their actions.
6 Examples of Overprotective Parenting
Many of us have seen overprotective parenting on the playground or at a child’s school. But in a society where many parents feel the need to do everything for their children, you may not be able to distinguish the difference between typical concern versus overprotective parenting.
Below are six common examples of overprotective parenting:
1. Hovering Over a Small Child at the Playground
Take a look at any local playground, and you will probably witness this behavior. You can sense it when you see a panicked parent standing right behind or next to their young children. They’re quick to catch a fall, and they’re even quicker to react to their child’s distress.
While it’s important to promote a safe environment for your child, excess hovering can actually jeopardize their emotional safety. Children need to explore the natural environment to learn appropriate boundaries. In a sense, they need to learn how to fall- repeatedly- to learn how to play it safe.
2. Immediately Calling the Teacher When Your Child Brings Home a Bad Test Grade
It’s no secret that parents want their children to succeed in school. Indeed, many people believe that academic performance is the key to doing well in life.
But this behavior can leave long-lasting consequences on a child’s well-being. For one, this strategy disregards the child’s perspective entirely. Moreover, instead of having a collaborative discussion about the test, the parent opts to “go to the professional” rather than try to understand what may have happened.
Over time, this pattern can cause children to feel invalidated and unimportant. It can also lead them to experience intense anxiety around school, performance, and overall achievement.
3. Checking In With Your Child Multiple Times When They’re Out With Friends
It’s normal to check in on your child occasionally. But overprotective parents often call, text, or email their children incessantly. If they can’t get a hold of their child, they often reach out to their friends or friends’ parents.
This behavior is concerning for multiple reasons. First, it demonstrates a lack of trust. As a parent, it’s important to allow your child to have age-appropriate boundaries. As they grow older, they can and should have more independence. You must learn to trust them as they navigate the world.
Additionally, this behavior often backfires. If a child feels like they’re being micromanaged, they may become sneakier with maintaining their privacy. They might also lie, downplay, or withhold important information. Because they feel they can’t be entirely honest with their parents, they may become more guarded altogether.
4. Saying ‘No’ To Most Social Events or Activities
Many overprotective parents restrict their children from establishing their independence. As a result, they may prohibit the child from engaging in new hobbies, activities, or even relationships. In a sense, the parent tries to keep the child in a safe, protected bubble.
The fear of their child getting hurt prevents them from allowing them to embrace new opportunities. However, there is no such thing as a “safe, protected bubble” in the real world. These children often grow up feeling naive to danger. Or, they may have an intense need to rebel against their parents altogether.
5. Logging Into All Your Child’s Social Media Accounts
Online safety is important, and it’s one thing to monitor your child’s online activity. Parents should ensure that their child understands how to behave online appropriately.
But if a parent consistently scans through every message, comment, or like, it could be far too intrusive. All children deserve to have privacy, and parents need to trust that they can make good decisions.
Moreover, children tend to be extremely savvy online. If they know their parents are watching their every move, they may just resort to using different usernames or websites.
6. Scheduling Your Adult Child’s Appointments
Some parents continue organizing all their child’s events even after the child has left home. These parents may make their doctor’s appointments, remind them to go to the dentist, and take their car to the mechanic for them.
While these gestures can be generous, repeating them can enable a child’s excess dependency on their parents. Rather than being accountable for taking personal responsibility, the child grows up expecting other people to help them with their daily tasks.
Criticism of Overprotective Parenting
There are advantages associated with overprotective parenting. Some research shows that children with highly-involved parents tend to have greater self-confidence, better grades, and less impulsive behavior.
One study found that teenagers who have parents with “intensive parenting styles” have higher test grades. Another study found that children are less likely to use drugs, drink alcohol, or have sex at a young age.6
That said, it’s important to understand the costs of these virtuous benefits. While most parents want their children to succeed academically, what if this success compromises their emotional well-being? What if it takes a massive toll on their self-esteem and relationship with other family members?
Critics of overprotective parenting cite that this parenting style is associated with problems related to low self-esteem, poor attachment with primary caregivers, and limited problem-solving skills.7 Additionally, there’s no guarantee that overprotective parenting will result in actually being able to protect the child from all harm.
How Therapy Can Help People Impacted by Overprotective Parents
Therapy can support individuals struggling with these family dynamics. Find a therapist who can provide a safe and supportive environment to process emotions and learn new coping skills. Children of overprotective parents must understand how to solve problems and live independently. It’s also important that they learn how to set healthy boundaries with their parents.
How Individual Therapy Can Help
Individual therapy is a non-judgmental space where you are permitted to discuss their thoughts and feelings freely. If you had or have an overprotective parent, you may need support in working through the consequences associated with their parenting.
Often, therapy isn’t about changing your entire family system. Instead, it’s about learning how to focus on what you can control. If, for example, your parents still take over most of your life, therapy can help you establish appropriate boundaries. Additionally, therapy can teach you about forming healthy relationships, building self-esteem, and managing your distress more productively.
How Group Therapy Can Help
Group therapy offers a compassionate space for like-minded individuals to come together and share their feelings. There are many different types of groups you can join. Some focus more on general support, whereas others have specific topics that adhere to a particular curriculum.
Some clients benefit from a combination of individual and group therapy. If you’re not sure which option is best for you, consult with a therapist.
Overprotective Parenting Statistics
Overprotective parenting is a more recent phenomenon, and as parents become more involved in their child’s lives, there are some crucial statistics to consider:8
- 62% of parents report that they can be “sometimes” overprotective.
- Mothers are more likely to report being overprotective than fathers.
- About half of parents believe they should be more involved in their child’s life.
- About half of parents report they would be disappointed if their child was an average student.
- Over half of parents report that parents cannot be too involved in their child’s education.
- 85% of parents indicate they have talked to a teacher about their child’s academic progress.
Additional Resources for Those Dealing With Overprotective Parenting
The following are helpful additional resources for anyone impacted by overprotective parenting:
- HelpGuide: This nonprofit organization offers useful information for parents wanting to support their child’s mental and physical health. All articles feature free, evidence-based resources.
- Anxietycentre.com: This organization provides education, support, and information for overprotective parenting and anxiety.
- The Children’s Project: This organization focuses on developing emotionally-healthy children and families. It operates under the belief that emotional health serves as the foundation for all subsequent happiness and success.
Additional Resources
- Therapist Directory: Sort therapists by specialty, cost, availability and more. Watch intro videos and see articles written by the therapists you’re considering working with. When you’ve found a good match, book an online therapy appointment with them directly.
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