What Is Petulant BPD? 10 Signs & Treatment Options

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a chronic mental health condition that involves mood instability, unstable self-image, and relationship problems.^{1, 2}  Signs and symptoms of BPD include difficulty managing anger, extreme efforts to avoid abandonment, and impulsive behavior. These symptoms typically begin during adolescence or early adulthood and persist throughout someone’s lifetime.

Types of BPD

Theodore Millon, an American psychologist and expert on personality disorders, identified four types of BPD.³ These subtypes are not recognized as official diagnoses but are used by mental health professionals to better understand their clients. While people with BPD experience common symptoms, the presentation can vary slightly between the different subtypes.

Below are four types of BPD:

• Discouraged BPD (i.e., quiet BPD)
• Impulsive BPD
• Petulant BPD
• Self-destructive BPD

What Is Petulant BPD?

The petulant borderline is negative, anxious, irritable, defiant, bitter, and easily disappointed by others.³ Their negative attitude can be all-encompassing, with them perpetually feeling mistreated and never fully satisfied. These individuals vacillate between explosive anger and feelings of shame and worthlessness.

What Are Petulant Borderlines Like In Relationships?

In adult relationships, people with petulant BPD resent the fact that they depend on others, which can cause them to act bitter and angry.³ They may try to use emotional manipulation to control others and may become possessive. This can be described as a “push and pull,” typical of a borderline personality disorder relationship cycle, where they yearn for closeness in their relationships, only to push them away.

At times, they may idealize friends and family by “putting them on a pedestal,” only to devalue them later (often found in a BPD’s “favorite person” relationship). Others may feel alienated by their angry outbursts and negative attitude. This leads to chronic relationship problems and overall dissatisfaction for the person with BPD and their loved ones.

What Causes Petulant BPD?

People with petulant BPD were often raised by caregivers who neglected to meet their needs in early childhood.³ Parents may have used them as pawns to get their own needs met. As a result, they may have developed insecure attachment styles with caregivers or feel like they were cheated out of a happy childhood. Their negative experiences in early childhood can set them up for challenges as they age.

10 Signs of Petulant BPD

Petulant BPD is marked by a pessimistic attitude, unstable relationships, and fluctuations between anger and depression.³ People with petulant BPD tend to have an unstable sense of self and chaotic relationships. Their inability to manage their anger and instead express it passive-aggressively (or outright aggressively) pushes others away.

Here are ten signs of petulant BPD that you may observe in yourself or others:

1. Emotional Outbursts

Those with petulant BPD are prone to emotional outbursts directed toward others. They are impatient and can become explosive when their needs are not met. For some, not having their needs met can trigger early childhood memories where their primary caregivers failed to support them. As a result, they expect perfection and struggle to manage their disappointment when these standards are unmet.

2. Passive Aggressive Behavior

Petulant borderlines may vacillate between emotional outbursts and passive-aggressive behavior and language when they are angry. Passive-aggressiveness involves expressing anger indirectly, such as taking a hostile attitude, rather than expressing it directly to a person. This is one of many ways that the petulant borderline can drive a wedge between themselves and others.

3. Pessimistic Attitude

People with petulant BPD present with an overall pessimistic attitude toward themselves, others, and the world. Their primary emotions are negative, including feeling irritable, annoyed, slighted, stubborn, and cynical. Internally, they may experience worthlessness, guilt, and shame. This overall attitude can be off-putting for others who may feel unable to help their loved ones change or see things in more positive terms.

4. A “Push & Pull” Pattern In Relationships

People with petulant BPD tend to engage in a “push/pull” pattern in relationships. They want to be close to others but act in ways that drive them away with their explosive anger and borderline rage or overall negative attitude. This “pushing” can be the result of loved ones failing to live up to expectations or to prevent future disappointment. This dynamic makes it difficult for people to maintain borderline personality disorder and relationships.

5. Easily Insulted

Individuals with petulant BPD may be described as overly sensitive. Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.

6. Resentment Toward Others

Just as those with petulant BPD tend to be easily annoyed and insulted by others, they often hold onto resentments and are reluctant to let them go. This can be a way of driving others away from them since too much closeness can be unbearable.

7. Demanding of Others

Those with petulant BPD tend to hold high expectations for others and can become angry when these expectations are not met. Loved ones may feel like they can “never do anything right.”

8. Jealousy

Petulant borderlines tend to feel jealous of others’ happiness and success. This fits with their overall negative outlook on life. Their jealousy may be mixed with self-criticism or a sense that life is unfair, that they have been cheated, or that others are cheating.

9. Paranoia

People with petulant BPD are prone to feeling suspicious and paranoid about others’ intentions. They often assume that others are out to get them or are only interested in meeting their own needs. Even when people in their life prove themselves to be trustworthy, the petulant borderline may act in ways that alienate the relationship.

10. Guilt & Worthlessness

Though petulant borderlines are likely to be reactive toward others, they may turn their anger inward and experience feelings of depression, guilt, worthlessness, and self-criticism. This is common following emotional outbursts as they attempt to make up for their behavior.

Petulant BPD Vs. Other Types of BPD

To receive a diagnosis of BPD, a person must demonstrate a chronic pattern of instability in their self-image, emotional state, and interpersonal relationships and demonstrate impulsivity.¹ While all types of BPD share these common features, the subtypes of BPD are distinguished by their different personality styles.³

Here are shared traits of BPD styles:

• Petulant and self-destructive BPD: Self-destructive borderline turns their negative feelings toward others inward, while the petulant borderline is likely to become more hostile and cynical in their relationships over time.
• Petulant and impulsive BPD: Impulsive borderlines are more likely to act recklessly and in ways that disregard the rights and feelings of others.
• Petulant and discouraged Bpd: Discouraged borderlines are more likely to be dependent, avoidant, and submissive in their relationships, while petulant borderlines are likely to be defiant and express their disappointment openly.

Treatment for Petulant BPD

If you find that your symptoms are affecting many areas of your life, including your relationships, then you may benefit from borderline personality disorder treatment. A combination of therapy and/or borderline personality disorder medication can help those with BPD learn how to manage their condition. Experiencing severe symptoms, including suicidal thoughts and self-harming, may require inpatient hospitalization until one is stabilized.⁴ People with mild to moderate symptoms can be treated at an outpatient level of care.

While there is no cure for borderline personality disorder, individual and group therapy can be helpful. An online therapist directory allows you to start finding the right therapist who specializes in BPD based on cost and availability.

Therapy options for Petulant BPD include:

• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT for borderline personality disorder is an evidence-based treatment that teaches distress tolerance, emotion regulation, mindfulness for BPD, and interpersonal effectiveness skills.⁵ This type of therapy helps people manage symptoms of BPD and is intensive, involving individual and group therapy sessions several times per week, as well as regular phone check-ins.⁶
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for BPD focuses on identifying and changing one’s negative thoughts and beliefs. This approach can help people develop healthier belief systems and coping skills.
• Psychodynamic therapy: Psychodynamic therapy focuses on bringing unconscious thoughts and feelings into conscious awareness, and is also an effective treatment for BPD.
• Mentalization-based therapy: Mentalization-based therapy helps people with BPD improve their understanding of themselves and others, which can be helpful to their relationships.

Final Thoughts

Living with petulant BPD, or any other type of BPD, can be challenging. Still. there is hope and finding healthy ways to cope with this chronic condition is beneficial. If you or someone you know is struggling with BPD, don’t hesitate to reach out for help today.