Skip to content
  • Mental Health Issues
    • Anxiety
    • ADHD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Depression
    • Grief
    • Narcissism
    • OCD
    • Personality Disorders
    • PTSD
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Marriage
    • Sex & Intimacy
    • Infidelity
    • Relationships 101
    • Best Online Couples Counseling Services
  • Wellness
    • Anger
    • Burnout
    • Stress
    • Sleep
    • Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Yoga
  • Therapy
    • Starting Therapy
    • Types of Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy Providers
    • Online Therapy Reviews & Guides
  • Medication
    • Anxiety Medication
    • Depression Medication
    • ADHD Medication
    • Best Online Psychiatrist Options
  • My Mental Health
    • Men
    • Women
    • BIPOC
    • LGBTQIA+
    • Parents
    • Teens
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Find a Local Therapist
    • Join Our Free Directory

Join our Newsletter

Get helpful tips and the latest information

Choosing Therapy on Facebook
Choosing Therapy on Instagram
Choosing Therapy on Twitter
Choosing Therapy on Linkedin
Choosing Therapy on Pinterest
Choosing Therapy on Tiktok
Choosing Therapy on Youtube
ChoosingTherapy.com Logo

Newsletter

Search Icon
  • Mental Health Issues
    • Anxiety
    • ADHD
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Depression
    • Grief
    • Narcissism
    • OCD
    • Personality Disorders
    • PTSD
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Marriage
    • Sex & Intimacy
    • Infidelity
    • Relationships 101
    • Best Online Couples Counseling Services
  • Wellness
    • Anger
    • Burnout
    • Stress
    • Sleep
    • Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Yoga
  • Therapy
    • Starting Therapy
    • Types of Therapy
    • Best Online Therapy Providers
    • Online Therapy Reviews & Guides
  • Medication
    • Anxiety Medication
    • Depression Medication
    • ADHD Medication
    • Best Online Psychiatrist Options
  • My Mental Health
    • Men
    • Women
    • BIPOC
    • LGBTQIA+
    • Parents
    • Teens
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Editorial Policy
    • Advertising Policy
    • Find a Local Therapist
    • Join Our Free Directory
  • What Is BPD?What Is BPD?
  • Common Symptoms & SignsCommon Symptoms & Signs
  • Possible CausesPossible Causes
  • Treatment OptionsTreatment Options
  • Coping With BPDCoping With BPD
  • ConclusionConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources
  • InfographicsInfographics
BPD Articles BPD Treatment for BPD Types of BPD Best Online Therapy

Symptoms & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Headshot of Hailey Shafir, LCMHCS, LPCS, LCAS, CCS

Author: Hailey Shafir, LCMHCS, LPCS, LCAS, CCS

Headshot of Hailey Shafir, LCMHCS, LPCS, LCAS, CCS

Hailey Shafir LCMHCS, LPCS, LCAS, CCS

Hailey specializes in adults, children, and families with addiction and mental health disorders.

See My Bio Editorial Policy
Headshot of Kristen Fuller, MD

Medical Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD Licensed medical reviewer

Headshot of Kristen Fuller, MD

Kristen Fuller MD

Kristen Fuller, MD is a physician with experience in adult, adolescent, and OB/GYN medicine. She has a focus on mood disorders, eating disorders, substance use disorder, and reducing the stigma associated with mental health.

See My Bio Editorial Policy
Published: June 13, 2023
  • What Is BPD?What Is BPD?
  • Common Symptoms & SignsCommon Symptoms & Signs
  • Possible CausesPossible Causes
  • Treatment OptionsTreatment Options
  • Coping With BPDCoping With BPD
  • ConclusionConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources
  • InfographicsInfographics

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) symptoms include erratic emotions, unstable self-image, impulsivity, or self-destructive behavior.1 Those with BPD often struggle to maintain healthy relationships, partly due to trauma, trust issues, and fears of abandonment. Early recognition of borderline personality disorder symptoms and signs can be important for coping with the condition.1,2

ADVERTISEMENT

Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder

BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Free Assessment

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD)–also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD)–is characterized by abnormal patterns of thinking about self and others, emotional instability, behavioral problems, and unhealthy relationships.4 People with BPD are often complex trauma survivors who struggle with an intense fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, intense mood swings, and impulsive decision-making.3

BPD & Stigma

The public, loved ones, and the healthcare community often have negative assumptions about BPD. People with BPD may be labeled immature, unstable, manipulative, and untreatable. This stigma stems from a lack of knowledge, misinformation, and outdated data. Because of this, many individuals with BPD do not receive appropriate care.9

However, due to scientific research, BPD can now be better understood and given medical attention. New developments indicate that appropriate evidence-based interventions can result in favorable outcomes, including BPD symptom reduction, improvement in functioning, and a better quality of life.9

9 Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms & Signs

Borderline personality disorder symptoms include pervasive instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and mood. Those with BPD commonly struggle with impulsivity by early adulthood, which can present in various contexts. Some individuals internalize BPD symptoms (as seen in quiet BPD or high-functioning BPD), whereas others exhibit these more externally. Because symptoms of borderline personality disorder can mimic those of other mood, impulse-control, and trauma conditions, BPD is often missed or misdiagnosed.5

Below are nine common signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder:

1. Frantic Efforts to Avoid Abandonment

Deep-seated fears of abandonment and trust issues can drive the negative thoughts, emotions, and actions of someone with BPD.1,3 Individuals with this condition frequently feel insecure and worry that people will betray, leave, or hurt them. Even in secure relationships, BPD symptoms and worries can be triggered.

To avoid abandonment, those with BPD may become clingy, manipulative, overly reactive to conflict, or oscillate between “hot and cold” affection. In turn, they commonly remain in toxic relationships, become easily jealous or controlling, and engage in negative attention-seeking behaviors.

2. Unstable Relationships

Borderline personality disorder relationships tend to exhibit toxic, unhealthy, or codependent patterns. These same patterns can result in conflict or cause loved ones to cut ties altogether. In romantic relationships, BPD individuals may damage the partnership or break up with their partners despite deep fears of abandonment.1,4 bpd unstable relationships

Signs of BPD unstable relationships may include:6

  • Relationships are “on/off” again
  • Several burned bridges with long-standing friends
  • Alternating between describing relationships as wonderful or terrible
  • High levels of conflict
  • Patterns of codependent romantic relationships
  • Moving quickly from one serious relationship to another
  • Having few close friendships or long-lasting friendships
  • Being highly sensitive to rejection cues (i.e., rejection sensitive dysphoria)

3. Unstable Sense of Self

Characteristics of borderline personality disorder typically include a lack of a healthy, stable sense of self. Individuals with BPD may seemingly “switch” personalities, moods, or interests based on emotions or those around them. At the core, these behaviors may result from personal insecurities, lack of self-worth, and fear of rejection or abandonment.

Signs of an unstable sense of self in those with BPD may include:6,7

  • Adopting personas and personality traits of others to be liked or accepted
  • Going through “phases” of having different interests, styles, or hobbies
  • Alternating between states of pride and shame
  • Feeling unsure of self or feeling like they have no ‘true self’
  • Internalizing expectations, criticisms, and praise given by others or taking things too personally

4. Impulsive Decision Making

People with BPD have a tendency to make poor, impulsive, or destructive decisions based on their emotions or urges.1,4,7 These behaviors may lead to problems and consequences, often triggering shame, guilt, and regret. Strong, intense, and uncontrollable emotions may contribute to these rash decisions.

Borderline personality disorder impuslivity may include:

  • Drinking alcohol or abusing prescribed or illicit substances
  • Sexual promiscuity or high-risk sexual behaviors
  • Self-sabotaging behaviors that damage the person’s relationships, work, or life
  • Unhealthy patterns of behavior (i.e., binge eating)
  • Risky behaviors (i.e., reckless driving or driving under the influence)
  • Overspending or poor financial decisions
  • Saying or doing things out of anger
ADVERTISEMENT

Help for BPD

Talk Therapy – Get help living with Borderline Personality Disorder from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp offers online therapy starting at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Free Assessment

BPD Treatment for Teens & Young Adults – Charlie Health’s virtual intensive mental health program for young people (ages 11-33) includes curated groups, individual therapy, and family therapy for teens and adults with serious mental health issues. Insurance accepted. Learn More

DBT Skills Course – DBT is a popular treatment for BPD. Learn DBT skills with live weekly classes and online video courses. Free Trial

5. Self-harming Behaviors

Some people with BPD engage in self-harming behaviors, such as cutting themselves, in order to feel alive. Suicidal behaviors and attempts are also common in people with BPD.1,4,7 Less observable self-harm may include substance misuse, risky decisions, self-sabotaging relationships, restricting food intake, or threats of self-harm.

6. Mood Swings & Intense Emotions

People with BPD have trouble regulating their emotions and tend to experience their feelings intensely. Emotions often display as moodiness, irritability, anxiety, or frequent and intense mood swings and can be easily triggered.1,4 BPD mood swings can result in anger issues or rage, sometimes resulting in destructive actions or arguments.

Often, the core issue in BPD is not the intensity of one’s emotions but the fact that the individual does not know how to cope with their feelings. Because of this, they often respond to strong emotions in unhelpful ways, such as amplifying or ruminating on negative emotions.

7. Feelings of Emptiness

Another common borderline personality symptom is the feeling of emptiness. Individuals may experience this as emotional numbness or dissociation.1,4,6,7 Sometimes, these feelings can intensify to hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness, and a person may even consider ending their life.

Feelings of emptiness associated with BPD may include:

  • Feeling unsure or unclear about who they are
  • Feeling numb or apathetic
  • Having no interest or enjoyment in activities
  • Feeling like something inside of them is broken or missing
  • Feeling as though they have no life purpose

8. Intense Anger & Outbursts

People with BPD struggle with emotional regulation, often contributing to anger issues and an inability to control themselves when upset.1,4,7 When a person with PBD is angry or emotional, they usually have extreme “all or nothing” thoughts about themselves, others, their lives, and their future (also called BPD splitting), which feeds their BPD anger.

Examples of anger issues and outbursts common in people with BPD include:

  • Being quick to jealousy, anger, or irritability
  • Borderline rage attacks
  • Anger outbursts (i.e., yelling, making threats, or becoming aggressive)
  • Being quick to lash out, attack someone, or threaten to end a relationship

9. Paranoia & Dissociative Episodes

The signs of BPD may include paranoid thoughts or dissociation. BPD paranoia can range from slight distrust to strong beliefs that others have bad intentions.1 These thoughts can cause severe anxiety or social avoidance.6

Dissociation occurs when a person becomes disconnected from their body, thoughts, or emotions. This experience often stems from stress, trauma, or intense emotional or physical pain. Some studies suggest that as many as 75-80% of people with BPD experience dissociative episodes, which may include.8

What Causes BPD?

Researchers believe that genetics and environmental factors contribute to borderline personality disorder. Those with a family history of mental illness may be more likely to develop the condition, as are individuals with certain neurological or psychological predispositions.

Possible causes of BPD include:

  • Brain abnormalities: Some studies suggest that people with BPD have abnormalities in the areas of their brain responsible for emotion regulation and impulse control.1
  • Childhood trauma: Many experts believe that BPD develops in response to childhood trauma and is the direct result of lasting psychological and emotional wounds related to these experiences.3 Many symptoms of BPD may have developed as defense mechanisms to protect themselves.
  • Genetic factors: Evidence suggests that BPD may be a genetic condition as those with a family member with the condition are more likely to develop it themselves.1

Borderline Personality Disorder Treatments

When possible, those struggling with borderline personality disorder symptoms should seek treatment early. For example, studies claim early intervention for borderline personality disorder (BPD) in teens or young adults shows favorable results.

Many may wonder, “Is BPD curable?” While “curing” BPD is not possible, individuals with the condition report an overall improvement in their ability to function, maintain healthy relationships, and manage difficult emotions when engaged in treatment. Typical treatment for BPD includes therapy, lifestyle changes, and sometimes medication.

ADVERTISEMENT

Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder

Brightside Health develops personalized plans that are unique to you and offers 1 on 1 support from start to finish. Brightside Health accepts United Healthcare, Anthem, Cigna, and Aetna. Appointments in as little as 24 hours.

Start Free Assessment

How to Cope With BPD

Dealing with BPD symptoms can be challenging. However, there are healthy methods and tools you can use to manage emotions, improve how you relate to others, and address unhealthy traits of borderline personality disorder. This strategy includes practicing mindfulness, engaging in relaxation techniques, using grounding exercises, developing distress tolerance, and self-care.

Below are some ways to cope with symptoms of borderline personality disorder:11

  • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness for BPD is beneficial because it creates space between emotions, urges, and behavior. If you are aware of your feelings, you can pause before acting. Rather than ruminating about the past or worrying about the future, focus on what is happening now.
  • Use relaxation techniques: When our levels of distress are high, thoughts and emotions are especially hard to work with. Relaxation techniques can help us lower distress levels meaning we are less likely to get stuck in maladaptive thinking or difficult emotions. Relaxation techniques might include paced breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.
  • Find distractions: Mindfully distracting can be an effective way to get through difficult emotions. Rather than pushing sadness down or attaching to it, engage in an activity that will distract your mind momentarily. A distraction might be watching your favorite TV show episode or taking a walk.
  • Use grounding exercises: Mental or physical grounding exercises bring us into the present moment. These are helpful for BPD symptoms because you can use them anytime you have drifted into rumination or worry. Examples include focusing on your senses as you eat or observing nature.
  • Develop distress tolerance: When we experience intense emotions, we often have urges to act in ways we regret later. Because of this, people with BPD may feel powerless and ruled by emotional instability. Practice tolerating the moment without making it worse–stop before acting, observe and describe your emotion, and ride the wave of your emotion as it passes.
  • Improve social skills: Effectively interacting with others can improve our sense of connection and self-worth, boosting our resilience when negative emotions come our way. Working with a therapist can be a helpful way to look objectively at how you interact with others, allowing you to improve relationships and create a social life that aligns with your values.
  • Learn how to process your emotions: We often hear that we need to “process emotions,” but many of us have never learned how to do that. In fact, this seemingly simple idea involves many steps. If you are learning to process emotions, start observing emotions as they happen and writing them down in a journal each day.
  • Try volunteering:  Having BPD can lead to feelings of isolation. Volunteering or other activities that connect you to the community can help you feel less alone. For some individuals with BPD, contributing can also build emotional resilience.
  • Focus on maintaining self-care: We all need to practice self-care, and those struggling with BPD can especially benefit from moments of being kind to themselves. Self-care might include going to yoga, meditating, or getting a massage. It can also include activities like setting boundaries with difficult people, taking a break from social media, or speaking more kindly to ourselves.

Final Thoughts

The symptoms of borderline personality disorder can be challenging to cope with. While debilitating, negative BPD traits can be treated and often improve with therapies like CBT and DBT.1,2

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

Talk Therapy 

BetterHelp – BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you. Free Assessment

Brightside Health – develops personalized plans that are unique to you and offers 1 on 1 support from start to finish. Brightside Health accepts United Healthcare, Anthem, Cigna, and Aetna. Appointments in as little as 24 hours. Start Free Assessment

BPD Treatment For Teens & Young Adults

Charlie Health’s virtual intensive mental health program for young people (ages 11-33) includes curated groups, individual therapy, and family therapy for teens and adults with serious mental health issues. Insurance accepted. Learn More

DBT Skills Course

Jones Mindful Living Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a popular treatment for BPD. Learn DBT skills with live weekly classes and online video courses for only $19 per month. Free One Week Trial

Free BPD Newsletter 

A free newsletter from the experts at ChoosingTherapy.com for those impacted by BPD. Get helpful tips and the latest information. Sign Up

ChoosingTherapy.com Directory 

Find local therapists that offer online and in-person therapy. Search for therapists by specialty, experience, insurance, and location. Find a therapist near you.

For Further Reading

  • National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
  • Borderline Personality Support Group
  • MentalHealth.gov

Best Online Therapy Services of 2025: Our Firsthand Experiences & Recommendations

Best Online Therapy Services

There are a number of factors to consider when trying to determine which online therapy platform is going to be the best fit for you. It’s important to be mindful of what each platform costs, the services they provide you with, their providers’ training and level of expertise, and several other important criteria.

Read more
Best Online Psychiatry Services

Best Online Psychiatry Services

Online psychiatry, sometimes called telepsychiatry, platforms offer medication management by phone, video, or secure messaging for a variety of mental health conditions. In some cases, online psychiatry may be more affordable than seeing an in-person provider. Mental health treatment has expanded to include many online psychiatry and therapy services. With so many choices, it can feel overwhelming to find the one that is right for you.

Read more

Symptoms & Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder Infographics

Borderline Personality Disorder Signs & Symptoms    Borderline Personality Disorder Treatments   How to Cope With BPD

BPD Newsletter

A free newsletter for those impacted by BPD. Get helpful tips and the latest information.

Sources Update History

ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • NIMH. (2017). Borderline Personality Disorder: An Overview. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/

  • Chanen, A. M., & McCutcheon, L. (2013). Prevention and early intervention for borderline personality disorder: current status and recent evidence. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 202(s54), s24-s29.

  • Ball, J. S., & Links, P. S. (2009). Borderline personality disorder and childhood trauma: evidence for a causal relationship. Current psychiatry reports 11(1), 63-68.

  • American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596

  • Porr, V. (2017). Real life consequences of stigmatization, misdiagnosis, misunderstanding, and mistreatment of borderline personality disorder. European Psychiatry, 41(S1), S259-S260.

  • Skodol, A. E., et al. (2015). The alternative DSM-5 model for personality disorders: A clinical application. American Journal of Psychiatry, 172(7), 606-613.

  • American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Alternative DSM-5 Model for Personality Disorders. Focus, 11(2), 189.203.

  • Krause-Utz, A., & Elzinga, B. M. (2018). Current Understanding of the Neural Mechanisms of Dissociation in Borderline Personality Disorder. Current Behavioral Neuroscience Reports, 5(1), 113–123. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40473-018-0146-9

  • Paris, J. (2020). Treatment of borderline personality disorder: A guide to evidence-based practice (Second ed.). The Guilford Press.

  • Keng, S. L., et al. (2019). Construct validity of the mclean screening instrument for borderline personality disorder in two singaporean samples. Journal of personality disorders, 33(4), 450-469

  • Riggenbach, J. (2016). Borderline personality disorder toolbox: A practical evidence-based guide to regulating intense emotions. PESI Publishing & Media.

Show more Click here to open the article sources container.

We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

June 13, 2023
Author: No Change
Reviewer: No Change
Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Revised “Borderline Personality Disorder Treatments” and “How to Cope With BPD.” New material written by Caitlin Bergh, LCSW, and reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD.
December 5, 2022
Author: No Change
Reviewer: No Change
Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Added “Co-occurring Disorders”, “BPD & Stigma”, and “How to Cope With BPD”. New material written by Lydia Antonatos, LMHC, and reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD.
August 11, 2021
Author: Hailey Shafir, LCMHCS, LPCS, LCAS, CCS
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD
Show more Click here to open the article update history container.

Your Voice Matters

Can't find what you're looking for?

Request an article! Tell ChoosingTherapy.com’s editorial team what questions you have about mental health, emotional wellness, relationships, and parenting. Our licensed therapists are just waiting to cover new topics you care about!

Request an Article

Leave your feedback for our editors.

Share your feedback on this article with our editors. If there’s something we missed or something we could improve on, we’d love to hear it.

Our writers and editors love compliments, too. :)

Leave Feedback
ChoosingTherapy.com Logo White
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Careers
  • Editorial Policy
  • Advertising Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service

FOR IMMEDIATE HELP CALL:

Medical Emergency: 911

Suicide Hotline: 988

View More Crisis Hotlines
Choosing Therapy on Facebook
Choosing Therapy on Instagram
Choosing Therapy on X
Choosing Therapy on Linkedin
Choosing Therapy on Pinterest
Choosing Therapy on Tiktok
Choosing Therapy on Youtube

© 2025 Choosing Therapy, Inc. All rights reserved.

X