10 Reasons to Live, According to a Therapist

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10 Reasons to Live

Everyone’s reason to live may look very different. For some, it may be the potential for a better future. For others, it could be loved ones or friends. Finding your personal reasons to live takes time, so be patient with yourself. Beginning to search for reasons to keep going is an achievement in and of itself in such dark times.

Here are ten reasons to live:

1. The Past Is in the Past

When in distress and/or anxious, it is common to focus on the past. The past can hold a lot of pain. Many studies show the marked changes in our brain chemistry due to past traumas and stressors. The key and operative word is “past.”¹ You are in the here and now while reading this very article. This is not to discount your past, merely to show that the past is just that, in the actual past.

2. You Are More Than Your Mistakes

Many of us struggle to forgive ourselves for mistakes we have made. From society to academia, we are taught at a young age that mistakes are bad. However, if we do not make mistakes, how will we grow and know better? Learning from our errors, in the classroom and in life, is a part of the process.² Ultimately, we as people are more than what we have done.

3. Solutions Are Hard to See When Depressed

Depression is a silent killer. This disorder takes many lives by way of suicide each year. A provisional estimate by the CDC in 2022 indicated over 49,000 people died by suicide in 2022, the rate rising 2.6% from 2021.³ Depression can cause brain fog, so it becomes hard to see different perspectives. Therefore, solutions feel impossible when, in reality, it is depressive symptoms standing in our way.

4. Treatment Can Make You Feel Better

Therapy for depression and medication management can make all the difference when you begin to wonder what your reason to live is anymore. The treatment options are vast, and there are many different methods or combinations of treatments to support you and your specific needs.

Here are some effective treatment options for depression to explore:

• Medications: Medications for depression are generally known as antidepressants. These medications support our brain in producing certain chemicals for which we may be lacking. The production of chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine is what supports symptom reduction.

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT for depression is specifically geared toward negative core beliefs and thought patterns that fuel depressive moods. These core beliefs and thoughts are systematically challenged in order to enhance adaptive coping skills and behaviors.
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT for depression is specific to the improvement of a person’s self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. DBT was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder. With depression, DBT’s mindfulness and distress tolerance tactics can be particularly helpful in improving mood and self-monitoring.
• Ketamine treatment: Ketamine treatment for depression, also known as Ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP), is a method shown to improve treatment-resistant depression and suicidal thoughts. A low dose of ketamine is provided to a patient in a safe and controlled environment. The ketamine offers a relaxed state of consciousness while the patient discusses triggering and psychologically difficult content.
• Neurofeedback: Neurofeedback is a type of biofeedback that monitors and targets irregular brain waves that prompt emotional and cognitive changes. Over time, this therapy affords a person new neural pathways that mitigate mental health symptoms.
• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): ACT for depression is a therapy that combines mindfulness practices and behavioral changes in order to target depressive symptoms. The meaning-making component of ACT shows a significant decrease in depressed mood and increased motivation.
• Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT): MBCT is delivered in a group setting. It combines mindfulness for depression, movement, and cognitive therapies to support the lessening of depressive mood.

5. Emotions Are Temporary

All emotions have a shelf life. While we may feel some emotions such as depression more frequently than others, it still remains a temporary state. Our emotions can shift for many different reasons. We may wake up feeling one way and then, throughout the day, feel better, worse, or a mixture of both. When we know and accept that nothing is static, this can greatly improve our insights and judgments, especially around feeling like life is worth living

6. Your Family, Friends, or Pet

Family, friends, and/or pets often give us reasons to do good for ourselves and keep going. If you do have supportive family/friends/pet(s) embrace them, call them, text them, and spend time with those who nourish your soul.

However, not all of us have the same connection others do with family members and/or friends. If this reason does not speak to you, that is valid. It is encouraged to explore the other reasons more in-depth. Remember, you will likely find your village somewhere down the road.

7. Situations Can Change

Change can feel scary. However, like most things, it depends on how you look at it. Knowing that situations can change and there is an ebb and flow to life can feel reassuring. This is especially reassuring when we are feeling low and are questioning the purpose of living.

8. The Future Is Unknown

Not knowing can also be a scary part of life, but it is all in how you look at it. We do not know how we will feel from day to day. We do not know when we could get news that is life-changing. If there could be even the slightest chance that the future will be better than now, it may be worth finding out.

9. There Is More to Explore

There is always a stone we have left unturned. It could be that very unturned stone that offers a life-changing and life-giving experience. Like most reasons, we do not know until we get there. This can feel paralyzing, yet it can also feel liberating as it offers us the potential for a spark we may not have seen in quite some time.

10. You Can Find Meaning

Much of our journey is made up of finding our purpose and understanding the meaning of our existence. Existentialism and logotherapy discuss how we are in control of meaning-making and our direction in life.⁴ It takes away this often touted idea that we are “meant” to be or experience certain things. Being, feeling, and believing yourself to be in control can be extremely healing.

How to Let People Know You Are Struggling to Find Reasons to Live

Letting people know you don’t want to live anymore can be one of the hardest conversations to have. However, confiding in a trusted person about these struggles can lift a huge weight off our shoulders. Your pain should not remain in the shadows. Letting others in is a vulnerable act that may very well save you.

Here are some ways to let people know you are struggling to find reasons to live:

Start With a Trusted Person

Opening up about one’s depression can feel very vulnerable. Therefore, it is important to start with the people you feel safest with, who you know will not judge you. As you gain confidence in sharing, you can open up to others who may not feel as immediately safe.

Be Honest & Specific

Being clear and concise is helpful in these circumstances. Tell your truth honestly and as to the point as possible. This helps to ease you in the midst of discussing something hard. When we are clear and concise, it leaves little room for misunderstanding on such a sensitive topic.

Write It Down

Expressing yourself off-the-cuff can be intimidating, and if you are anxious about sharing it may be hard to remember what you wanted to say. Therefore, it may be easier to write your truth out in order to organize your thoughts. When having the conversation, you can choose to read off your paper or start talking, and if you lose yourself, you can reference what you had written down.

Choose Between In-Person, Over the Phone, or Text

When it comes to receiving the support you need, there is no wrong way to let your person know. Choose a way that feels safest to you. Your trusted person may need to hear from you in another format, which is understandable. Find a middle ground that feels comfortable for you both.

Find a Safe Space for the Discussion

Whether discussing in person, on the phone, or via text, it is important to be in a safe setting. A safe setting will allow you to feel more at ease when exploring a difficult topic. Additionally, if the conversation does not go well, you will be in an environment that you are familiar with and have the items you need to care for yourself.

Be Open to Questions

Your trusted person may have questions. This is understandable, as their main priority will be to support you. Answer their questions as clearly and concisely as possible. If there’s something asked that you don’t wish to speak on, let them know this upfront.

Set Clear Boundaries

Your trusted person may feel very anxious about the situation and feel the need to be in constant contact with you. While the intention is coming from a place of love, it is okay to continue to have your space for yourself and set clear boundaries. Again, compromise here is key; it is important for your trusted person to know you are okay, and it is also important that you do not feel you are under a microscope.

Be Open to Receiving Support

Just because we open the door to someone does not mean we feel like we can let them in fully. Fears of vulnerability are a natural part of life, especially when we have been hurt. However, in order to feel better, we benefit from allowing ourselves to be supported. If you have followed the previous steps, you are on the right track. Keep the conversation going with your trusted person.

How to Find Your Own Reasons to Keep Going

Finding a reason to live is a daunting task, but you just need to take it one step at a time. Begin by reflecting on things that have given you joy in the past. You can also look to friends, family, or support groups for new ideas. Remember, everyone’s reasons to keep going are unique. If someone’s suggestion does not speak to you, keep moving forward to cultivate your own reasons to live.

Here are some resources and tips for finding motivation and purpose in life:

• Explore different mental health apps: Mental Health apps can be helpful as they are easily accessible. Apps such as Headspace and Calm are great ways to commit to your well-being at least one time per day.
• Join a support group: In-person and online support groups such as Circles are great ways of reducing the loneliness you may feel when questioning your reasons to live. Hearing from others about their experience can uplift your spirit and offer a perspective you may not have considered.
• Practice mindfulness meditation: Mindfulness meditation for depression can be helpful by reducing the excess levels of stress you and your body are experiencing. It is hard not to be “in our head” when considering our reasons to live. Mindfulness meditation offers a way of reducing the noise.
• Use journaling to visualize your future: Journaling for depression can be helpful. As previously mentioned, we may have so many different thoughts that putting them on paper is a helpful way to organize the different places and spaces our mind goes to.
• Go to therapy: Therapy is a beneficial step for some. It can be helpful to have an impartial person, such as a therapist, to explore these difficult topics with. The therapist can also support you in confiding in a loved one/trusted friend or accessing the other tips noted above.
• Consider medication: Medication for depression can be a viable option. Connecting with a licensed psychiatrist has become even easier with certain online platforms, such as Talkiatry.
• Read: There are a multitude of books on depression. These books can widen one’s perspective and offer thoughtful suggestions of what to do or consider.
• Start a self-care routine: Depression is tricky. Depression will often convince us not to do the things that are good for us. A self-care routine for depression can bring a little spark back into your life.

How to Find Professional Support for Depression

Finding professional support can be done in a number of different ways. First and foremost, check with your insurance provider to see if your insurance covers therapy and which therapists are in network with your insurance. Almost all insurance call centers have a dedicated sector to behavioral health. Look on the back of your insurance card and call the member services line.

Additionally, you can also search for a therapist via an online therapist directory or online therapy platform. Some listed therapists and platforms will take your insurance. The nice aspect of this is that you can tailor your search to your specific needs. For example, you can search specifically for a female therapist who specializes in depression and therapies for depression in your local area.

Lastly, you may consider finding a psychiatrist if you have been in therapy and tried many different avenues of finding your reasons to live yet still do not feel secure enough. Medications are a helpful step when all other options have not given you what you feel you need. Patience is required as you and your psychiatrist identify the right medication(s) for you.