If you have ever tried to put a child to bed and had to read “just one more story” or bring another glass of water, then you are familiar with bedtime procrastination. “Revenge bedtime procrastination” is a sub-clinical syndrome in which adults find themselves repeatedly delaying going to bed.1
What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?
Revenge bedtime procrastination is when someone chooses to stay up late and engage in activities that they may not have had time for during the day, as a way of gaining control over their life. It’s a subconscious method of attempting to meet one’s needs for leisure and lifestyle management. While people who frequently engage in bedtime procrastination may want to sleep, their behaviors don’t align with their intentions.1
“Revenge bedtime procrastination is when someone stays up late into the night, usually later than they want to, to do activities that they enjoy such as online shopping, connecting with friends, watching TV, etc. This is usually a result of their perception that they do not have control over their time during the day because they spend most of the time working.” – Sara Makin, MSEd, LPC, NCC
In adults, the bedtime procrastination can be related to trouble actually getting into bed or, once in bed, delaying sleep with recreational activities. The procrastinator may engage in social media scrolling, reading, watching television, video gaming, or engaging in a hobby.
What Does Staying Up Late Have to Do With “Revenge”?
In the case of revenge bedtime procrastination, the “revenge” part refers to a passive act of vengeance the person enacts against a perceived perpetrator. The perpetrator could be their boss, their partner, their family members, or even their kids. With revenge bedtime procrastination, the perceived perpetrator usually has no clue that you are taking a form of revenge against them. Sadly, this behavior is more likely to negatively affect you than it is to affect your perpetrator.
Who Is Most Likely to Procrastinate at Bedtime?
The research on revenge bedtime procrastination is just getting underway, but some early reports are showing that several groups have higher rates of this behavior:1
- Women
- Students
- People who are more attuned to being active later in the evening
- People who procrastinate in other aspects of life
The common thread here is high stress. Those with greater levels of daytime stress tend to be more likely to engage in bedtime procrastination.
People with high profile or high responsibility jobs may be more likely to procrastinate at bedtime. They can find themselves attempting to “squeeze-in” a personal life when they should be going to bed. In one study, gender and school status also correlated with bedtime procrastination: It was found that female students were most likely to engage in this kind of behavior.2
Causes of Bedtime Procrastination
Bedtime procrastination can result from a number of career and lifestyle factors, including poor work-life balance, impulsivity, “night owl” tendencies, and job dissatisfaction.
Here are four potential causes of revenge bedtime procrastination:
- Poor work-life balance: Jobs with high responsibility, required meetings in different time zones, and “on call” responsibilities may promote poor division between work and leisure. This can lead to staying up late in order to secure personal time and relieve stress.
- Chrono-type: A tendency to be a “night owl” may have an association with late bedtimes and insufficient sleep.3, 4
- Impulsivity: People who are easily distracted or who generally struggle with structure may be more inclined to delay their bedtimes.
- Dealing with burnout: People who are struggling with burnout (perhaps especially mom burnout) or job dissatisfaction may also struggle with a variety of sleep issues including bedtime procrastination.
How Revenge Sleep Deprivation Affects Your Health
As the nights with a lack of sleep compound, there can be consequences to health and performance that range from mild to severe, but unlike procrastination in other contexts such as work or school, sleep procrastination may not have immediate negative impact or professional consequences.
Difficulty with sleep can be a symptom and a consequence of an individual’s mental health condition. Poor sleep (both the amount and the quality) is associated with several disorders, including depression, anxiety, and ADHD. In some cases, a person may present with a sleep disorder and no preceding mental health concerns, but an extended period of inadequate sleep often leads to symptoms of depression and/or anxiety.
There are a variety of common sleep issues and disturbances whose effects may be worsened by bedtime procrastination, including insomnia, sleep apnea, and restless leg syndrome. If you experience any type of sleep disturbance, consider seeing your primary care provider (PCP). After taking a history and discussing your symptoms, they may refer you to a sleep specialist for evaluation.
How to Go to Bed On Time
There are a variety of methods you can practice on your own or with a partner to quit bedtime procrastination habits. Some of these methods include improving your sleep hygiene, scheduling more intentional leisure, and exercising more regularly.
Here are 13 ways to quit your revenge bedtime procrastination habit:
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- Improve your sleep hygiene: Build habits that promote sleep like setting a bedtime, keeping the same schedule daily, and ensuring the last hour before bed is non-stimulating (e.g., no technology)
- Schedule intentional leisure: Make sure that leisure is included in your calendar on a regular basis
- Reduce caffeine consumption: Ensure that you manage caffeine consumption so that you are not overstimulated close to bed
- Use an accountability partner: Engage your significant other or a friend in helping you develop better habits
- Exercise: Regular exercise has been shown to improve sleep quality5
- Block time: Set up your workday in time blocks and allow time to go over your day and organize the next
- Organize and simplify your daily routines: Routines to make meals, do chores, and engage in other after-work activities may allow for more leisure time, reducing your tendency to procrastinate at night
- Schedule rest time in your calendar: Build better habits by scheduling time in your calendar devoted to resting, including a firm bedtime, and hold yourself accountable.
- Start your bedtime routine earlier: If you find yourself running out of time or being rushed, consider starting your bedtime routine earlier as an option for training yourself to relax earlier in the night and queue your brain that it’s time for sleep.
- Consider your current work-life balance: If your work-life balance is too unmanageable the problem may continue to get worse over time. Reflect on your habits to find alternatives.
- Make your bedroom a haven for sleep: Using your bedroom for only sleep tends to result in better rest. Leave the electronics out and create a cool, dark, comfortable place for sleep.
- Know your “why:” Leisure should have a return in the form of joy, connection, rest, etc. If you find yourself delaying bedtime for a less satisfying form of leisure, consider asking yourself “Why?” (e.g., “Why am I choosing to scroll endlessly on Instagram when it doesn’t make me happier, more connected, or more rested?)
- Go to therapy: A therapist can help you understand your patterns. You may find that childhood or familial messages relating to work, play, and perfectionism could be playing a role in your bedtime procrastination habit.
When to Get Extra Help
If your sleep disturbance starts to impact your daily life or relationships, consider getting some extra help. Sleep trouble is ubiquitous in our society and is often easily disregarded; however, when unaddressed, the consequences can be dire.
If you’re struggling with revenge bedtime procrastination, consider finding a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. You can start your search by asking your primary care provider for a referral, or you can use an online therapist directory.
Here are some warning signs that it’s time to get extra help for sleep disturbances:
- Relationship strains
- Vocational issues
- Low libido
- Weight gain/heart palpitations
- Irritability/mood issues
- Inability to improve your sleep hygiene
Final Thoughts on Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
Remember, many people deal with this problem and other sleep disturbances. You’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with getting extra help so that you can feel your best.
For Further Reading
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination Infographics
