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  • What Is Mom Burnout?What Is Mom Burnout?
  • SymptomsSymptoms
    • Free Mom Burnout WorksheetFree Mom Burnout Worksheet
  • How to RecoverHow to Recover
  • When to Seek HelpWhen to Seek Help
  • In My ExperienceIn My Experience
  • InfographicsInfographics
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Burnout Articles Burnout Burnout Recovery Work Burnout Preventing Burnout

Mom Burnout: Symptoms & How to Recover

Leah Rockwell LPC Headshot

Author: Leah Rockwell, LPC, LCPC

Leah Rockwell LPC Headshot

Leah Rockwell LPC, LCPC

Leah offers online therapy for women, specializing in maternal mental health and feminist therapy to foster self-compassion and empowerment through life’s transitions.

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Headshot of Kristen Fuller, MD

Medical Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD Licensed medical reviewer

Headshot of Kristen Fuller, MD

Kristen Fuller MD

Kristen Fuller, MD is a physician with experience in adult, adolescent, and OB/GYN medicine. She has a focus on mood disorders, eating disorders, substance use disorder, and reducing the stigma associated with mental health.

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Published: August 8, 2024
  • What Is Mom Burnout?What Is Mom Burnout?
  • SymptomsSymptoms
    • Free Mom Burnout WorksheetFree Mom Burnout Worksheet
  • How to RecoverHow to Recover
  • When to Seek HelpWhen to Seek Help
  • In My ExperienceIn My Experience
  • InfographicsInfographics
  • Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources

Mom burnout is marked by chronic stress and exhaustion from relentless caregiving demands. It’s particularly high among women with full-time careers or those without a co-parent.1 This burnout can make mothers feel ineffective and lack confidence as parents, while also feeling the pressure to be better amidst a sense of disconnection from their children.

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What Is Mom Burnout?

Moms experiencing mom burnout, sometimes called depleted mother syndrome, often report feeling intense exhaustion and disengagement or depersonalization related to parenting, such as simply “going through the motions,” rather than feeling present or engaged with their children’s lives. Additionally, many parents report feeling inefficient or useless in their child-rearing roles, doubting whether they’re “good enough” at it.

Similar to the workplace syndrome referred to as burnout, parental burnout is a multidimensional state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that positions parents (but in many families, especially mothers) to have increased risk for other mental health problems and increased work/family conflicts, contributing to decreased well-being in many facets of life.2

Because traditional industrialized American gender roles often place increased demands of caregiving on the mother whether or not she also works outside of the home, this imbalance creates a perfect opportunity for moms to get extremely stressed, eventually leading to burnout. To attenuate rates of mom burnout, systemic reform such as paid time off for caring for children, better parental leave policies, and enhanced infrastructure to support growing families is long overdue.

Mom Burnout Symptoms

Mom burnout symptoms include decreased effectiveness in your personal and professional life, acting outside of your philosophical orientation toward parenting (like harsh punishments or overblown reactions to minor issues), and the extreme desire to be away from your children.3

Here are several potential signs and symptoms of mom burnout:

  • Extreme mental fatigue or physical exhaustion
  • Being “short tempered”
  • Feeling emotionally depleted
  • Feeling disconnected or isolated from others, including one’s children
  • Feeling mom guilt about behaviors, reactions, thoughts or feelings, or about not spending enough time with your children
  • Feeling like you’re an inadequate parent
  • Feeling anxious or overly focused on what comes next
  • Experiencing mom rage— being hostile or having extreme emotional highs and lows
  • Questioning life choices such as regretting having children
  • Entertaining “escapist” fantasies and maladaptive daydreaming
  • Extreme feelings of “never good enough” at home or at work
  • Concerns that your children deserve someone “better” than you
  • Disconnection from partner/co-parent
  • Exhibiting cold mother syndrome
  • Social fatigue preventing you from tapping into support networks
  • Inability to ask for support or state one’s needs

Moms who work outside of the home and those who are stay-at-home moms may both experience symptoms of mommy burnout. Mom burnout can also be a symptom of stay-at-home mom depression.

Are You Experiencing Mom Burnout?

Use our free Identifying Mom Burnout Worksheet to discover if you’re experiencing the typical ups and downs of motherhood, on the verge of burnout, or have mom burnout.

Identifying Mom Burnout

Identifying Mom Burnout Worksheet

Mom burnout is marked by chronic stress and exhaustion from relentless caregiving demands. Review the checklist, tally your score, and learn more.

Download Free Worksheet

How to Recover From Mom Burnout

The transition into parenthood is one of the most stressful periods of a person’s life, and it is often linked to increased depression or a recurrence of previously well-managed mental health issues.4 Recovering from mom burnout can be possible by learning how to deal with feeling overwhelmed, by creating supportive communities, by increasing mental energy, and by further expanding your access to stress management resources.

Here are 12 ways to deal with mommy burnout:

1. Know Your Risk Factors

Moms who live in cultures that are considered more individualistic, rather than collective, are more likely to suffer from burnout. So are moms who work outside of the home, along with low-income moms. By knowing your risk factors, you can more readily identify and name what is happening to you, starting you on the path to making helpful changes.5

2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Moms

Rather than comparing yourself with friends or other moms on social media, finding what works for you and for your family is what is most important. No one is “doing it right,” but parenting in a way that is aligned with your values will help you feel more in control and less chaotic.

3. Journal to Track Your Mood

By breaking down your day in a way that allows you to step back and reflect on your accomplishments, as well as your areas of imperfection, you’re engaging in emotional self care. This also models an excellent example for your kids. Journaling gives you the opportunity to be a mindful observer of your own life and family dynamics and look for patterns that could prevent burnout in the future.

4. Consider Learning More About Mindful Parenting

Mindful parenting will keep you grounded in the moment and the tasks at hand rather than generating more family anxiety by worrying about what is to come. Focusing on the “here and now” will deescalate the urge to push ahead at a time when that might not actually be valuable for you or your family.

5. Plan Breaks From Having to Parent

It’s perfectly acceptable to need time away from your children, your partner, your work, and your responsibilities at home. Even if you do nothing more than sit in a parking lot and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea in peace, brief periods of separation from your stressors allow you the space to reset.

6. Find a Mom Buddy

Finding another mom who can relate to your experience and spending time with her (preferably in person!) can be very healing when you’re facing mom burnout. Sometimes all you need is for another person to truly empathize in a way that reassures you that you’re not alone.

7. Move Your Body Regularly

In times of stress, we often de-prioritize our own needs when we should actually be attending to them as much as possible. Even if it means dragging a stroller along, a brisk walk or jog can get you the physical adjustment you need to snap out of the grips of stress.

8. When It’s Time for Bed, Go to Bed

One of the trending habits contributing to mom burnout is the late night scrolling that we do on social media or other technology in order to “take back time” during the day that we did not have to ourselves (called revenge bedtime procrastination). However, engaging in this behavior leaves you under-slept and overstimulated, and positions you to engage in unhealthy comparisons. Leave the phone in the next room at bedtime, or at least set it aside an hour before you actually wish to get to sleep.

9. Designate Different Spaces for Different Activities

Many moms are living, parenting, working, and exercising all in the same place. If space allows, attempt to segment when and where you engage in certain activities, such as not working in bed or in the kitchen where you prepare meals. Create physical spaces that will allow for you to transition more readily from role to role, removing the pressure of having to multitask at all times.

10. Join a Group Not Related to Parenting

Whether in person or online, join a group that focuses on something that interests you as an individual person, such as a book club, a running club, or a knitting group. By developing your identity outside of being a mom, an employee, or a partner, you’re feeding the part of you that is quintessentially you and enhancing your identity development.

11. Stop Apologizing for Being Human

A tenet of self-compassion is that part of the human experience includes being flawed together and sharing in this imperfection with others. Employ a self-compassionate attitude as you would apply compassion to others and don’t apologize for feeling things and behaving in ways that simply make you… human.

12. Make Time for Sleep

Because mom burnout is a phenomenon that exhausts you on many levels—physically, emotionally, mentally, and often spiritually—attention to sleep hygiene and rest is imperative. Adhere to consistent wake and sleep times as much as possible; this also models the importance of resting and recharging to your kids.

When to Seek Professional Help for Mom Burnout

If you find that mom burnout is leaving you increasingly feeling depressed, disconnected, or without hope for change, it is time to seek help from a professional. Every transition period can bring stress, but when low mood or feelings of despair persist, reaching out to professionals is necessary. You know yourself better than anyone—if you’re wondering whether you need therapy, you probably do.

Another critical piece of information to pay attention to is the way you’re parenting. If you are seeing increasing levels of or desire for violence or neglect of your children, help is needed immediately as this signifies a dangerous level of mommy burnout.6

Therapy for Burnout

Certain types of therapy, like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), are particularly effective for managing mommy burnout. These approaches incorporate stress management techniques while fostering mindfulness and self-compassion. If you’re seeking online therapy for depression, anxiety, or even group sessions with other moms, LunaJoy is an excellent choice.

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A therapist can help you process thoughts and feelings, understand motivations, and develop healthy coping skills. BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $65 per week and is FSA/HSA eligible by most providers. Take a free online assessment and get matched with the right therapist for you.

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In My Experience

Leah Rockwell LPC Headshot Leah Rockwell, LPC, LCPC

“Mom burnout can feel extremely overwhelming, but a better understanding of what parental burnout is, as well as a focus on building internal resources, can help you create a plan to move forward. Parenting perfection is an unachievable goal, but finding your pace of “good enough” will help you recover from mom burnout.”

Mom Burnout Infographics

What Is Mom Burnout?   Symptoms of Mom Burnout   Mom Burnout Symptoms (2)

How to Recover From Mom Burnout    How to Recover From Mom Burnout (2)

Sources Update History

ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Frontiers in Psychology (2018, June). Maternal burnout syndrome. Retrieved from https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00885/full

  • Biomedcentral Psychology (2016, November). Burnout and work/family conflict. Retrieved from https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-016-1110-4

  • American Psychological Association (2021, October). Impact of parental burnout. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/10/cover-parental-burnout

  • Frontiers in Psychology (2017, May) Maternal depression and maternal mental health. Retrieved from https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00839/full

  • Affective Science (2021, March). Parental burnout risk factors. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs42761-020-00028-4

  • Journal of Child and Family Studies (2020, October). Child mistreatment parental burnout Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10826-020-01850-x

Show more Click here to open the article sources container.

We regularly update the articles on ChoosingTherapy.com to ensure we continue to reflect scientific consensus on the topics we cover, to incorporate new research into our articles, and to better answer our audience’s questions. When our content undergoes a significant revision, we summarize the changes that were made and the date on which they occurred. We also record the authors and medical reviewers who contributed to previous versions of the article. Read more about our editorial policies here.

August 8, 2024
Author: Leah Rockwell, LPC, LCPC (No Change)
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD (No Change)
Primary Changes: Fact checked and edited for improved readability and clarity. Added “What Causes Mom Burnout?” Added Identifying Mom Burnout Worksheet. New content written by Nicole Arzt, LMFT.
September 21, 2023
Author: Leah Rockwell, LPC, LCPC (No Change)
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD (No Change)
Primary Changes: Fact checked and edited for improved readability and clarity.
November 9, 2021
Author: Leah Rockwell, LPC, LCPC
Reviewer: Kristen Fuller, MD
Show more Click here to open the article update history container.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What Causes Mom Burnout?

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Mom burnout can result from numerous factors, including internalized expectations, cultural pressures, straddling the complexities of a work-life balance, relationship problems with the other co-parent, and mental health issues. Sleep deprivation can also play a tremendous role for mothers of young children. Mom burnout may also speak to structural problems where mothers feel unsupported by society at large.

Common causes of mom burnout may include:

  • Inadequate support: It’s often said that ‘parenting takes a village.’ Unfortunately, many mothers lack this communal support and feel isolated in their parenting experiences.
  • Financial stress: Raising children can be extraordinarily expensive, and mothers often outweigh the nuances of work with childcare. Fears about money can certainly cause or exacerbate burnout.
  • Co-occurring mental health concerns: Women with depression or anxiety may be more likely to experience burnout. This is because parenting while coping with mental health symptoms can be incredibly challenging.
  • Marital stress: Problems in the marriage often seep into issues with division of labor and parenting. This, in turn, can drive burnout.
  • Mom guilt: Many mothers relate to feeling guilty about some or many parts of parenting. They may not feel “good enough” in their roles no matter how hard they try. The compounded effects of this can lead to mom burnout.

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