Bids for Connection Worksheet Overview
A bid for connection is any small attempt to get another person's attention, interest, or support, like a comment, a question, a touch, or a sigh. Psychologist John Gottman named bids in his research on couples, and he and Julie Gottman have taught the idea to couples for decades. How you answer these small moments shapes how close you feel.
This worksheet explains the three ways to answer a bid, shows everyday examples, and gives you a log to notice bids between you and someone close to you.
In this worksheet, we’ll:
- Explain what a bid for connection is
- Describe turning toward, turning away, and turning against, with examples
- Give you a log to notice bids and how they are answered
- Help you plan one way to turn toward someone's bids this week
ChoosingTherapy.com strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our worksheets. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
-
Gottman, J. M., & DeClaire, J. (2001). The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships. Crown.
-
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown.
Therapist Directory at Psychology.com Find a licensed therapist near you on the Psychology.com directory. Many therapists accept insurance, offer in-person and online appointments, and have immediate availability. List Your Practice on Psychology.com Psychology.com is the therapist directory from the team behind ChoosingTherapy.com. List your practice with your first 30 days free, then $49 a month. Cancel any time.
Related Worksheets
