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Assertiveness Training What It Is & What It Teaches

Published: April 28, 2022 Updated: February 7, 2023
Published: 04/28/2022 Updated: 02/07/2023
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Benjamin Troy

MD
  • What Is Assertiveness Training?Definition
  • What’s Taught In Assertive Training?Skills Taught
  • How to Get Assertiveness TrainingHow to Get It
  • Final Thoughts On Assertiveness Training SkillsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Assertiveness Training InfographicsInfographics
Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Benjamin Troy

MD

Assertive training is a type of therapy that teaches people skills related to confidence. It helps individuals learn to better communicate their needs and wants, especially those who tend to be passive when it comes to expressing these things. Instead of defaulting to aggression, assertiveness training helps people channel their need to be heard in healthier ways and build confidence in the long term.

Do people ignore you or what you want? A therapist can help you become more assertive. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by BetterHelp

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What Is Assertiveness Training?

Assertiveness training was created to help people stand up for themselves and feel confident in their voice. It empowers them to speak up for what they want and need without feeling any kind of guilt or shame. This kind of training also helps people be more assertive (i.e., more direct, honest, clear, and effective) and stick up for themselves and others.

Assertiveness training skills can be applied in these settings:1

  • Corporate settings
  • Therapeutic settings
  • Medical settings
  • Schools
  • One-on-one
  • Group settings, including families

Assertiveness training techniques can help in situations like:

  • Public speaking
  • Social anxiety
  • Stage fright
  • Getting what you want
  • Saying no
  • Improving self-esteem
  • Sharing feelings/experiences with others
  • Communication with a partner
  • Negotiations at work including dealing with a difficult coworker or asking for a raise
  • Setting boundaries with others
  • Confronting mindfully on something that has bothered you
  • Addressing toxic people in your life
  • Interviewing skills
  • Dealing with conflicting schedules such as in custody agreements

Dr. Zoe Rapoport Rapoport Psychological Services on Assertiveness Training“Solid assertiveness training can help you in pretty much every area of your life, including self-esteem and interpersonal skills. Since communication is essential to every relationship and situation, effective and assertive communication only improves how you both feel and interact with others. Improved assertiveness can help you get a raise at work, land your next job, and develop more balanced authentic relationships. If you are communicating either passively or aggressively, your message is often lost, leading you to feel misunderstood or even taken advantage of. Learning to be assertive helps you value your needs while still respecting those around you,” says Dr. Zoe Rapoport, licensed Clinical Psychologist of Rapoport Psychological Services.

Assertiveness allows people to share what they think without offending others, while passive people tend to not share their perspective. Passivity lends itself to accepting the status quo and submitting to the needs or wants of others. Passive people are likely people-pleasers who have difficulty saying no. Assertiveness allows and teaches people how to say no with compassion and self-respect.3

Assertiveness vs. Aggression

While there may be some perceived similarities between assertiveness and aggression, they are distinct. Assertiveness is based on being true to your needs and wants. It leans on the virtue of fairness and equality. Aggression, on the other hand, is based on needing to win or be right.

Aggression has a goal of doing whatever is in one’s best interest and does not consider other people or any kind of fairness or equality. It is self-driven and self-centered and can be perceived as bullying by others.2

What’s Taught In Assertive Training?

Assertiveness training can teach a wide variety of topics and bolster skills like body language, establishing personal boundaries, being direct but not rude, and establishing self-worth.

Assertive training skills include:

  • Good body language
  • Establishing personal boundaries/space
  • Learning to use “I” statements
  • Being direct without being rude
  • How to handle difficult emotions in the moment
  • How to preserve personal autonomy
  • Learn how to identify manipulative communications
  • Establishes self-worth
  • Empathy
  • Learning to be comfortable with repetition
  • Being comfortable asking for more time

How to Get Assertiveness Training

The best way to find a therapist for assertiveness training is by searching online and reviewing a list of in-network providers. Look through profiles and narrow it down to a few names. Many therapists offer a free phone consultation that gives you an opportunity to evaluate whether they’re the right fit. Treatment can be done virtually or in-person depending on your needs and the availability of the therapist.

Ask your therapist if they have any training/experience in assertive training, as well as how they would incorporate it into sessions.4,5 Any type of mental health clinician can use assertiveness therapy interventions and techniques as long as they have the experience. While there’s no specific certification or credential, there are continuing education credits and workshops therapists can enroll in.

Final Thoughts On Assertiveness Training Skills

Assertive training is a great way to improve communication and confidence. Learning some of these new skills can take time, but it’s often worth the effort. Working with a professional can help you make big strides toward mastering assertiveness training skills.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

Online Therapy 

BetterHelp – Get support and guidance from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp has over 20,000 therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy.  Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online Psychiatry

Hims / Hers – If you’re living with anxiety or depression, finding the right medication match may make all the difference. Get FDA approved medication prescribed by your dedicated Hims / Hers Healthcare Provider and delivered right to your door. Plans start at $25 per month (first month). Get Started

Medication + Therapy

Brightside Health – Together, medication and therapy can help you feel like yourself, faster. Brightside Health treatment plans start at $95 per month. United Healthcare, Anthem, Cigna, and Aetna accepted. Following a free online evaluation and receiving a prescription, you can get FDA approved medications delivered to your door. Free Assessment

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Choosing Therapy partners with leading mental health companies and is compensated for marketing by Hims / Hers, Brightside, and BetterHelp.

For Further Reading

  • Mental Health America
  • National Alliance on Mental Health
  • MentalHealth.gov

Assertiveness Training Infographics

What is Assertiveness Training Assertiveness vs. Passitivity What's Taught In Assertive Training?

5 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Speed, B. C., Goldstein, B. L., & Goldfried, M. R. (2018). Assertiveness training: A forgotten evidence‐based treatment. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 25(1), e12216. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/cpsp.12216

  • Nikel, Ł. (2020). Submissiveness, assertiveness and aggressiveness in school-age children: The role of self-efficacy and the Big Five. Children and youth services review, 110, 104746. https://ideas.repec.org/a/eee/cysrev/v110y2020ics0190740920300025.html

  • PARMAKSIZ, I. (2019). Relationship of Phubbing, a Behavioral Problem, with Assertiveness and Passiveness: A Study on Adolescents. International Online Journal of Educational Sciences, 11(3). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/334706948_Relationship_of_Phubbing_a_Behavioral_Problem_with_Assertiveness_and_Passiveness_A_Study_on_Adolescents

  • Sodikin, M. A., Keliat, B. A., & Wardani, I. Y. (2021). The effects of cognitive behaviour therapy and assertiveness training in chronic low self-esteem clients. Enfermería Clínica, 31, S96-S99. https://scholar.ui.ac.id/en/publications/the-effects-of-cognitive-behaviour-therapy-and-assertiveness-trai

  • Yang, Y. K., & Lim, T. H. (2019). A case study of conflict resolution program for student-athletes due to violence in sport: Self-assertiveness training based on solution-focused. Korean Journal of Sport Science, 30(2), 423-440. https://kjss.sports.re.kr/journal/view.php?doi=10.24985/kjss.2019.30.2.423

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Headshot of Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Written by:

Silvi Saxena

MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C
Headshot of Benjamin Troy, MD
Reviewed by:

Benjamin Troy

MD
  • What Is Assertiveness Training?Definition
  • What’s Taught In Assertive Training?Skills Taught
  • How to Get Assertiveness TrainingHow to Get It
  • Final Thoughts On Assertiveness Training SkillsConclusion
  • Additional ResourcesResources
  • Assertiveness Training InfographicsInfographics
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