Losing a parent is an inevitable reality for each and every one of us. According to the US Census Bureau, about 2.5 million people die in the United States annually, each leaving an average of five close, grieving people behind. Discussing heavy topics like grief can be difficult, especially because it can be hard to find words that adequately express the nuance of what you are feeling.
These books can help remind you that you aren’t alone in your grief and loss, even when you haven’t found the words to communicate it to others yet.
General Books About Losing a Parent
1. Your Grief, Your Way: A Year of Practical Guidance and Comfort After Loss by Shelby Forsythia
This book approaches grief with the understanding that a mourning mind often has a difficult time concentrating or focusing on tasks for long periods of time (sometimes called grief brain). Furthermore, someone who is grieving can feel easily overwhelmed by receiving too much information at once. Your Grief, Your Way is a fantastic resource for those enduring a season of loss because it was written with practicality, comfort, and approachability in mind.
Forsythia crafted this book using short paragraphs overflowing with compassion, comfort, warmth, realistic expectations for your emotions during a time of mourning, and an abundance of resourceful guidance and practical applications.
2. The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents by Alexander Levy
Praised for his thoughtfulness and authenticity, Levy speaks to the hurting hearts of orphaned adults with this book. Many readers stated that the first few chapters of this book really helped them understand and articulate the emptiness of losing both of their parents.
The Orphaned Adult takes a deep and insightful look into the emotions that materialize as a result of the loss of your parents. Levy himself stated that this book was written to “guide readers through the storm of change this passage [of losing one’s parents] brings, and anchors them with its compassion and reassuring wisdom.”
3. It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine
It’s OK That You’re Not OK was written as a reminder that, in a world that often says otherwise, when a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, there is nothing wrong with or abnormal about grief. Devine wrote this book as a rebellion against our culture’s tendency to treat grief like a disease that needs to be cured and resolved as quickly as possible.
It’s OK That You’re Not OK offers a healthy and sustainable middle-of-the-road approach to the experience of grief, where instead of trying to move past or get over loss, we build a life of joy and humanity alongside our grief. Inviting it in rather than trying to push it away. Devine invites us to counter culturally live in the nuanced depths of our humanity in a society that insinuates that our grief needs to be solved. Many readers also found this grief journal by Devine to be a helpful additional tool with several grief journal prompts in their healing process with loss.
4. Grief Day By Day: Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss by Jan Warner
With something as complex as grief, often our only option is to take on life a day at a time. Warner’s writing comes from the understanding that grieving a loss is an ever changing experience and it may manifest in our lives differently on any given day. Grief Day by Day offers reflections and practices that address the day-to-day feelings that accompany the ever changing processes and stages of grief.
Warner’s goal is to remind readers that there is no “right way” to grieve, and whether you follow this book page by page, or select a section that seems most relevant to you at the time, it’s important to know that in this case your why is more important than your how. You are choosing to honor your human experiences, and to make a non-judgmental home for your grief—that is a step towards healing and wholeness in and of itself.
5. Loss of a Parent: Adult Grief When Parents Die, by Theresa Jackson
The Loss of a Parent is a guide to adult grief, specifically when one’s parents pass away. Best-selling author Theresa Jackson provides expert advice and healing exercises that have been tried and tested by Jackson herself and other people going through grief. The Loss of a Parent walks readers through the seven stages of grief, guided exercises for ongoing healing, and personal stories that reduce feelings of isolation and otherness. Reviewers say that this book acts as an excellent companion in times of sorrow.
6. Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief, by Joanne Cacciatore
Love and loss are the most central, most mysterious parts of being human. Joanne Cacciatore, PhD, has dedicated much of her professional life to exploring these things. Since publication, Bearing the Unbearable won a Forward Indies Award Gold Medal for Self-help. It explores the pain of loss, especially in the case of a traumatizing death. Separated into fifty-two easy-to-read chapters, this book reveals how we can open ourselves up to compassion, connection, and shared humanity, even after losing a loved one. It is also a great resource for therapists, grief counselors, social workers, clergy, and medical professionals.
7. The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents, by Alexander Levy
All sorts of disorienting emotions can accompany the death of our parents, even when we are adults who have long left our own childhoods behind. It can feel like a deep shift in the natural order of things, regardless of whether we were close or estranged, or whether we lost them unexpectedly or after a long fight with illness. The Orphaned Adult by Alexander Levy recognizes the child-like sadness that can accompany death. It guides readers through this difficult time, sharing inspiring passages, helpful insight, and compassionate wisdom.
8. Always Too Soon: Voices of Support for Those Who Have Lost Both Parents, by Allison Gilbert
Author Allison Gilbert lost both of her parents when she was 32 years old. At the time, she struggled to find any books or resources that gave her the same comfort as her support group did. As such, she decided to take the wisdom earned in the group and share it with others through Always Too Soon. The result of her efforts is an intimate portrayal of grief and loss. It provides a range of conversations with contributors, including Hope Edelman, Geraldine Ferraro, Dennis Franz, Barbara Ehrenreich, Yogi Berra, Rosanne Cash, and Ice-T.
9. The Beauty of What Remains: How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift, by Steve Leder
The Beauty of What Remains by Steve Leder is a national bestseller about living a meaningful life and appreciating the love that remains even after death. As senior rabbi at a prominent synagogue, Leder has learned the many ways that death can teach people how to live more fully and love more deeply. This book takes readers on a journey through loss, guided by a man who has sat at thousands of deathbeds. The simple yet profound truth of Leder’s book is that, even in loss, we can gain more than we thought possible.
Best Books About the Sudden Loss of a Parent
The loss of a parent is painful regardless of the circumstances, but when the passing of someone is abrupt and unexpected that can bring even more layers of nuance to our mourning process. These books acknowledge the additional complexities of sudden loss.
10. I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One by Brook Noel & Pamela D Blair
Whether you’re grieving the sudden loss of a loved one, or helping support someone else through their grief, I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye offers heartfelt insight to help you through the grieving process. Noel and Blair also reveal some myths of the grieving process, and what really happens as you navigate through the depths of your pain.
One review stated, “this book is a friend that can take you by the hand and lead you to a place of healing and personal growth…this guide can help you survive and cope, but even more importantly… heal.” I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye also has a companion workbook available as an additional resource.
11. The Sudden Loss Survival Guide: Seven Essential Practices for Healing Grief (Bereavement, Suicide, Mourning) by Chelsea Hanson
Hanson anchors this book on the understanding that one does not simply “get over” grief from a significant loss—we cannot bypass or dismiss our pain—the only sustainable way is to go through it. Readers said they would recommend this book to anyone who has experienced the death of a dear one, whether sudden or expected.
The Sudden Loss Survival Guide is written from a place of compassion, with Hanson herself having experienced the loss of both parents at a young age. She is also realistic, understanding that grief doesn’t simply disappear with time, or show up in neatly organized and convenient stages. This book can help grieving souls learn to live fully while incorporating a loss into their lives.
12. Healing the Adult Child’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Your Parent Dies (Healing Your Grieving Heart series) by Alan D Wolfelt PhD
Healing the Adult Child’s Grieving Heart is divided into bite-sized snippets with a limit of 1-2 pages per topic due to the fact that grief often leads the brain to be more receptive to smaller pieces of information. While the book does mention spiritual topics occasionally, it is written from a mainly secular lens without catering to any one particular religion, making it a helpful tool for anyone mourning a loss, regardless of religious beliefs.
Wolfelt offers heartfelt and simple advice, providing realistic suggestions and relief for an adult child whose parent has died. Each page holds meaningful insight that offers action-oriented tips and accessible ways to understand and reconcile grief.
13. Dead People Suck: A Guide for Survivors of the Newly Departed by Laurie Kilmartin
Hailed as an ideal grieving companion for those who appreciate finding humor in dark and vulnerable places, and delivering the perfect balance of teary eyes and belly laughs, Dead People Suck is a welcome departure for many readers from the typical tone of books about grief and loss.
Kilmartin’s writing here is a culmination of the things we think but never say—the morbid and dark jokes that many of us feel guilty for even thinking. The style of this book frees grieving people who cope with humor from feeling ashamed by reminding them they aren’t the only ones who cope this way, and there is nothing wrong with you using humor as a way to survive and process pain and grief.
Best Books for Grieving the Loss of a Mother
If you are looking for a book specifically regarding the loss of a mother figure, here are some options that might be helpful.
14. Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual by Elaine Mallon
Healing After the Loss of Your Mother is an essential step-by-step guidebook for anyone uncertain about what to do or where to turn after their mother’s death. Mallon truly captures the raw and unique pain of losing your mother with empathy, honesty, and eloquence, tenderly walking the reader through each step of the grieving process, offering straightforward answers to common questions, and addressing fears that are often held by grieving individuals.
One reader stated, “Mallon sees me. She comforts and validates me. Her writing guides me with human tenderness. She connects by expressing the pain of a mother’s loss so honestly, acknowledging my emotions, questions, and fears. For the first time in a long time, I feel understood, less crazy or confused, less scared and alone. This truly is a beacon of light for those mourning the loss of their mother. It is a powerful grief recovery guidebook that continues to help me and I know will help so many others.”
15. Grieving the Death of a Mother by Harold Ivan Smith
Smith focuses his writing on embracing grief as a natural response to loss, and not something that needs to be quickly resolved, rushed through, or dismissed. He encourages readers to give themselves time to work through the sadness, pain, memories, and realities of living without their mother.
No matter the status of the relationship, grieving loss is always a process. Drawing on his own experience of loss, Smith holds space for that truth. Grieving the Death of a Mother gently guides readers through their grief, from the process of death, to the act of remembering and honoring a mother after her death. This book provides a sustainable and healthy way forward after loss.
16. Grieving Us: A Field Guide for Living with Loss Without Losing Yourself by Kimberley Pittman-Schulz
“Loss comes along. First it breaks your heart, then it stays.
How do you live with loss without losing yourself?”
Grieving Us is about learning to live with loss and with joy every day. While loss comes along with you for life, grief doesn’t have to be forever. Through heartfelt storytelling and “Tiny-Come-Back-to-Your-Senses Rituals,” you’ll be able to take a break from grief, find new ways to honor the memory of your loved ones, and design your life-support system for living alongside loss.
Pittman-Schulz speaks from a place of empathetic wisdom, with genuine sensibility, and an understanding that human beings need to be able to laugh, sing, and find their joy, even when they’re sad. “Grieving Us is an upbeat field guide for living your one-and-only, heart-broken-and-still-beautiful life.”
17. In My Mother’s Kitchen: An Introduction to the Healing Power of Reminiscence, by Robin Edgar
In My Mother’s Kitchen walks readers through the process of recalling, recording, and celebrating memories of their lost loved ones. Using memory prompts and walking readers through how to journal family histories, it is a helpful tool for anyone grieving significant loss. Author Robin Edgar created this guide as a look into the “healing power of reminiscence.” The American Academy of Bereavement News says this: “For anyone who has known the grief of a mother’s empty place at the table, this book is for you.”
Best Books for Grieving the Loss of a Father
If you are looking for a book specifically regarding the loss of a father figure, these books might resonate with you.
18. On Grieving the Death of a Father by Harold Ivan Smith
On Grieving the Death of a Father is a compilation of stories and journal entries contributed by people from all different walks of life with one thing in common—they are grieving the loss of a father. A poignant collection of reflections offering insight into the experience of grief and mourning as it manifests in a variety of dynamics with people and their fathers.
Smith has a remarkable understanding of the depth and complexity of grief, and an innate gift of being able to articulate that understanding effectively to his readers. He conveys that it is absolutely okay to grieve, and that mourning is a very individual act that cannot and should not be dictated by society or standardized approaches.
19. Goodbye Dad: Navigating & Overcoming the Loss of a Father by Anthony Carpino
The pain of losing a father is a unique wound, and Carpino wrote this book to remind people that they are not alone in their pain. If you are someone that prefers a more logical and analytical approach to understanding grief, then this book might be a good fit for you. Goodbye Dad starts by outlining and explaining a model called the five stages of grief:
- The Denial Stage
- The Anger Stage
- The Bargaining Stage
- The Depression Stage
- The Acceptance Stage
Carpino then provides a detailed roadmap through each stage, teaching the reader how and why we go through these stages, and most importantly helping you learn how to navigate them. The format has been referred to as half-textbook, half-recollection, with Carpino sharing life lessons he learned before and after his father’s death, and universal wisdom through a tone that is equal parts witty and practical.
20. Broken From Parent Loss? : Simple Secrets of Navigating Grief, Building Resilience, Finding Hope and Comfort After The Loss Of A Parent by Rosetta Fei
If you want an easy-to-follow grief recovery book to find comfort, peace, and hope after losing a parent, then this may be a good fit for you. Grief can often make us feel like our sadness and loss will go on forever. Many people will go through one of the most challenging phases of their lives while navigating bereavement and loss. But despite your sorrow, Fei wants you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Grief is a normal and valid emotional reaction to loss—many people say that it is the price we pay for loving—this can increase the depth of our pain when it comes to the loss of a parent, especially one with whom we had a close relationship. You might feel a wide range of challenging and unexpected feelings, such as bewilderment, remorse, anger, fear, or extreme sadness. The sheer weight of grief can often seem unmanageable, even interfering with your physical well-being, by making it challenging to do basic things like eating, sleeping, or even thinking clearly. Broken From Parent Loss? reminds us that all of these things are normal and valid, but they are also capable of being managed with an adequate amount of support and coping skills.
How Talking to a Therapist or Grief Counselor Can Help
While these books can be a great addition to your toolbox as you work through grieving the loss of a parent, please remember that they are not a substitute for professional help. If you, or someone you know, is finding that your grief, or the weight of a loss, is proving to be more than you can process on your own, consider looking through an online therapist directory to find the right therapist or a grief counselor for extra support while navigating this season of grief.
