Gifted Kid Burnout: What It Is & How to Overcome It

What Is Gifted Kid Burnout?

Gifted children may be more prone to burnout than the average child, despite many people thinking they have everything figured out. Unreasonably high expectations put on them by their families, peers, and teachers can cause them to be their own biggest critics, ultimately leading to mental and emotional exhaustion.

For example, gifted kid burnout can manifest as procrastinating, failing to complete their schoolwork, and even deciding to leave school. Note that “gifted kid burnout syndrome” isn’t a medical condition but rather something that has become known publicly due to these kids and teens sharing their negative experiences in online videos.

Why Does Gifted Kid Burnout Occur?

Several factors lead to chronic stress in a gifted child, ultimately causing burnout. A primary factor is an educational environment that doesn’t align with their values. Research shows gifted children have different emotional and social needs than their peers. In addition, parents and teachers may create unrealistic expectations, thus increasing the risk of behavioral and emotional problems.¹

Some of the unique qualities that make these kids “gifted” are the same that contribute to added stress in their lives. These characteristics include being highly sensitive, perfectionistic, and fearful of failure. When these kids are labeled as “gifted” by others, they may feel different from their peers and experience social isolation, which affects their learning.²

Factors that increase the risk of gifted kid burnout include:

• Being raised by authoritarian parents
• A school curriculum that is inflexible, repetitive, lacks purpose, and focuses on results over well-being
• “Toxic labels” (i.e., gifted and talented) that make them sensitive to judgment
• Afraid of not meeting expectations
• Perfectionism or having very high personal standards
• Loneliness
• Exclusion from peers
• Negative self-perspective

Signs of Gifted Kid Burnout

Parents and teachers will likely notice a child losing interest in school work and other activities in general. Pay attention to their level of motivation, mood, eating patterns, sleep patterns, and emotional reaction toward challenges. Do not ignore behavioral changes unless your child or student verbally expresses their thoughts.

An example of gifted kid burnout would be an artistic child suddenly showing deep concern about how their teacher and peers perceive their work. They may overthink, spend excessive time “perfecting” a task, or become increasingly pessimistic. However, instead of asking for help, the child isolates themself.

Common signs of gifted kid burnout include:

• Headaches and/or stomach aches unrelated to physical illness
• Panic attacks
• Disinterest in things they previously found enjoyable
• Voicing their concerns about school, their friends, teachers, and the future
• Increased preference for solitary activities (especially if they used to be outgoing)
• Not completing their assignments on time
• School grades are suffering
• Quitting when things get tough
• A change in their eating habits and sleeping patterns

How to Help a Gifted Child Overcome Burnout

Remember that although a child is highly gifted, they are still a child. To help a child with burnout, parents need to understand the qualities and traits of giftedness, how their child’s brains operate, and common problem areas that affect them.

Gifted kids primarily develop burnout in educational environments, so working with your child’s school will help hone their natural abilities and develop a growth mindset without overwhelming them. Gifted kid burnout is challenging, but children can recover with patience–the outcomes are worth the effort.

Here are eight ways to help a gifted child overcome burnout:

1. Assess Their Environment

Gather information about your child’s academic environment, especially if your child attends a public school with a gifted learning program. A gifted student may compare themselves with non-identified students, or the gifted program lacks resources to address their needs.

You may want to check how the school measures academic growth and whether your child meets their education goals. Although many parents understand their child’s uniqueness, research shows only a few understand their “ability profile and emotional peculiarities.”³ Moreover, examine your parenting style and how you can help them manage their emotions.

2. Model Imperfections

Perfectionism or an “all-or-nothing” thought pattern can lead to feeling self-defeated. Letting your gifted child know that not getting everything “right” is okay will reduce their worries and promote a can-do attitude. As a parent, you can model being imperfect by sharing your “mistakes,” such as not staying on top of the laundry. When you struggle with something, consider asking their perspective.

3. Focus on Effort & Enjoyment, Rather Than Results

Another powerful antidote to perfectionism is taking the focus off results and focusing on “productive struggle,” which refers to effortful learning. Productive struggle involves challenging the gifted child’s weaknesses without overwhelming them while offering the right support to overcome these challenges. In other words, you encourage learning for the sake of learning instead of getting a specific grade.

Make learning enjoyable by matching activities with their personality. An introverted gifted child will thrive in a calm environment where they can take time to process information and complete the activity one-on-one with a friend. Also, try to find a connection between their schoolwork and personal interests. For example, a musically gifted child who hates math may appreciate you explaining how math helps when reading music.

4. Teach Healthy Coping Skills

Because gifted kids have a lot of stress placed on them, teach them healthy coping skills. Coping skills geared toward children help control their emotions and shift their thoughts when encountering difficult situations.

Coping skills pass on resilience to endure hardships, ultimately contributing to success. A simple coping skill children can practice anytime is using positive self-talk statements, such as “I choose to focus my attention on my goals and things that are uplifting” and “I will not be hard on myself today.”

5. Practice Open Communication

In a world where gifted learners feel pressured to perform, parents play a vital role in maintaining open communication within the family. Parents of gifted children can create a healthier relationship with their children through communication, mutual respect, honesty, listening, and sharing common interests.⁴

Set aside certain times to give them your undivided attention. Encourage them to share their challenges in school–listen when they talk. Recognize that communication is also an opportunity to discuss their unique abilities and explore their potential weaknesses, such as excessive perfectionism and being emotionally sensitive. Moreover, openly share your child’s needs with their teachers.

6. Allow Your Gifted Child to Take Breaks

Giving your gifted child breaks throughout the day and during the weekends is an effective technique for interrupting stress, which can impact their energy levels, mood, and motivation.⁵  Effective breaks are unrelated to their academics, such as drawing, playing a musical instrument, playing sports, and attending museums. These activities can meet their need to express themselves.

7. Don’t Forget to Look After Yourself

Nurturing a gifted child and helping them overcome burnout starts with parents caring for themselves. Spend a few moments each day doing the things that make you happy, whether walking outside and getting fresh air, doing yoga, reading a good book, drinking a cup of tea, or working in the garden.

Self-care doesn’t only benefit you as a parent, but it’s also a way of setting a good example for your gifted child and teaching them to practice self-care for kids. Your stressed or burned-out child will learn healthier ways to deal with frustration instead of giving up. For example, you can say, “Mom/Dad is feeling a bit down today, so I’m going to walk outside to clear my mind.”

8. Show a Positive Attitude Towards Seeking Professional Help

A burnt-out gifted kid may refuse to seek help because they fear others perceiving them as weak or needy. Let them know that needing help is a sign of maturity and strength. Relying on the right people—those with extensive knowledge, resources, and experience supporting burned-out gifted learners—can help them recover and achieve their fullest potential.

When to Seek Professional Support

If gifted kid burnout symptoms are worsening and affecting the quality of their life, find a counselor or therapist for your child. Techniques used may include hypnotherapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy for children, and solution-focused therapy, which will encourage more realistic thought patterns. Besides asking for recommendations from trusted friends and parents of other gifted kids, you can use an online therapist directory or online therapy platform to start searching.