Authoritarian Parenting: Definition, Characteristics, & Effectiveness

What Is Authoritarian Parenting?

Authoritarian parenting styles display high levels of demand on their children with low levels of responsiveness. Authoritarian parents tend to set rigid rules and high expectations for children while failing to provide warmth and support. Often, they tend to “rule with an iron fist” and are described as strict, cold, critical, and punitive.

Authoritarian parenting is one of four main parenting styles–permissive, authoritative, authoritarian, and uninvolved. These approaches were first introduced in child psychology by Diana Baumrind and range in degree of demandingness and responsiveness.¹ Unlike the other three parenting styles, an authoritarian philosophy focuses on complete obedience without question.

Authoritarian Vs. Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting involves high levels of both demandingness and responsiveness.¹ Like authoritarian parents, authoritative parents enforce rules and expectations for children. However, this style practices parental warmth and support, and many consider it the ideal parenting style.

Authoritative parents communicate openly about expectations and rationale, and children have the ability to express personal opinions and feelings. Still, parents do not bend the rules simply because children disagree. Children of authoritative parents tend to have the best outcomes in academic performance, self-esteem, and relationships with peers and family.

Characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting Style

Authoritarian parenting is the most demanding parenting style, and authoritarian parents are especially likely to be harsh and lack warmth with their children. This method creates a power differential in the family as children are expected to obey without question or explanation. Authoritarian parents approach discipline, rules, communication, and control in a similar manner.

Here are eight common characteristics of authoritarian parenting:

1. High Demandingness, Low Responsiveness

This parenting style blends low responsiveness from parents with high demands for children. Authoritarian parents tend to be controlling and restrictive. Their children are expected to follow designated rules in an obedient fashion. Harsh punishment can follow if children deviate from stated norms.

2. Lack of Warmth & Nurturing

The authoritarian style of parenting is devoid of warmth and affection. It is parent driven with limited thoughts or concerns regarding the social or emotional needs of the children. Communication flows one way, from the parents to the children. There are no opportunities for open communication or collaboration between parent and child.

3. Constant Criticism

Authoritarian parenting style uses shame and criticism as a way of forcing children to obey household rules. These parents believe that ongoing criticism is the best way to motivate their children and get them to comply without protest. Yelling at children is a common occurrence in these households. These types of child-parent dynamics can push children away from their parents rather than bring them closer together.

4. Unwilling to Negotiate

Authoritarian parents place strict rules and offer little wiggle room for negotiation. These expectations tend to be overbearing and excessive. For example, they may forbid children from having playdates with their peers. Rather than approaching the family as a team, they simply want children to comply.

5. Lack of Trust

One of the consequences of authoritarian parenting is that parents do not trust their children to do the right thing, succeed in school, or behave in socially acceptable ways. This lack of  trusting them to make proper decisions deprives children of the chance to make their own choices. They do not have the opportunity to learn life lessons from the consequences of these decisions. This deprives children of the chance to learn necessary skills in adulthood.

6. Little to No Explanation for Discipline 

Often, authoritarian discipline tends to be severe and unwarranted. However, when asked about the rationale for punishment, parents may respond, “Because I said so.” Authoritarian parents do not believe they owe their children any explanation regarding their disciplinary or parenting decisions. Their children’s feelings are irrelevant in this parenting scenario. They are not interested in feedback or questions from their children. In fact they believe it is inappropriate for them to allow children the opportunity to respond or react to disciplinary procedures in the household.

7. Making Choices for Children

Authoritarian parenting is restrictive. These types of parents believe it is important for them to be making life decisions for their children because they don’t trust their children to make the right choices for themselves. This parenting philosophy comes with an expectation of blind obedience from children.

Authoritarian parents make decisions about who their kids will socialize with, how they spend their time, and how they approach their academic work and extracurricular activities. Unfortunately, this parenting approach of exerting total control can result in a child who rebels. It can negatively impact the parent-child relationship as children grow up, creating increased conflicts as children try to challenge these restrictions.

8. Impatient With Child Behavior

Authoritarian parents expect their children to know how to behave even in unfamiliar or challenging social situations. When children deviate from these expectations and display unwanted behavior they are met with an angry, impatient parental response. Children of authoritarian parents also may rebel or act impulsively causing conflict.

Examples of Authoritarian Parenting

Examples of authoritarian parenting include making every decision for your family without giving your children input, enacting violence on your children as a form of punishment, or meting out harsh punishments for a child who gets a bad grade.

Below are examples of authoritarian parenting:

Anger & Violence in Response to Normal Toddler Behavior

An example of authoritarian parenting with toddlers may look like parents becoming impatient with anger outbursts. For instance, a toddler becomes angry over a rule or bedtime routine and hits their parent. An authoritarian parent would see this as a rule violation and respond with harsh punishment. The child may be told they cannot play with their toys for a week. However, there are no efforts to understand their emotions or allow them to earn back privileges with good behavior. In extreme cases, an authoritarian parent may even use violence.

Making All Family Decisions

Authoritarian parents often make the decisions for the family, even if these only relate to their children. They will have the final say without any input from their kids. If children attempt to voice their thoughts or feelings on the issue, the parent would state that, because they are children, they have no say. Children feel powerless and disregarded, and the authoritarian parent has missed an opportunity to model healthy communication and decision-making.

Complete Academic Control & High Standards

Authoritarian parents often approach a child’s academic performance with complete control. They may dictate their child’s study habits by demanding that the child study several hours daily and avoid social events with friends. In turn, a child will be punished if they fail to perform to the parent’s standards. If the child does well academically, they receive little praise or support for their efforts.

Harsh Response to Drugs & Alcohol

An authoritarian parent may respond to alcohol or substance use by severely criticizing a child for poor decisions. For example, if a teen has been experimenting with marijuana, the parent may issue a harsh punishment like not being able to see friends for a month. The parent would not attempt to understand why the teen has been engaging in this behavior or if they are dealing with any underlying emotional issues. The teen may feel guilt and shame, possibly resulting in low self-esteem and a desire to rebel.

What Causes an Authoritarian Parenting Style?

Adopting an authoritarian parenting style can be determined by many factors. They can range from cultural influences, observing this parenting style in others, or the personality characteristics of the parents.

Possible causes of an authoritarian parenting style include:

• Being raised by authoritarian parents: Parenting models can be adopted consciously or unconsciously by children as they move into adulthood and become parents.
• Cultural backgrounds: Some cultures incorporate authoritarian parenting as their primary parenting model. For example, countries like India and China tend to adopt this parental model.
• Natural temperament: People with certain personalities tend to gravitate to authoritarian parenting. For example, people with a narcissistic personality have an elevated sense of their own importance. They do not display empathy towards others and don’t care what other people think.
• Neuroticism: People who are neurotic can be highly critical of others. They tend to be more anxious, impatient, and self conscious. These traits can be incorporated into their parenting techniques.
• Attachment styles: Attachment styles are the ways people interact with the people closest to them. They impact behavior and relationships. Authoritarian parents focusing on obedience and limited communication create damaged relationships causing strained parent/child relationships.

Effects of Authoritarian Parenting

The effects of an authoritarian parenting style can be far-reaching and damaging. Children raised by authoritarian parents tend to be more aggressive, defiant, and anxious than other children.¹ When it comes to social relationships, they are likely to be withdrawn and disconnected.² As they age, children of authoritarian parents frequently grow angry or resentful toward their parents.⁴

An authoritarian family dynamic may also affect a child’s academic performance and success. This style is associated with poorer academic performance, as parents are less likely to be involved in their children’s school activities.^9,10

Possible effects of authoritarian parenting on children include:

• Social withdrawal²
• Anger at parents in adulthood⁴
• Low self-esteem, inferiority, and insecurity⁵
• Depression
• Anxiety⁶
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)⁷
• Conduct and behavioral problems
• Issues with self-control and impulsivity
• Emotional regulation issues⁸
• Poor academic performance

Is Authoritarian Parenting Effective?

Authoritarian parenting is not considered effective. Children raised by authoritarian parents are more likely to struggle emotionally and academically than children raised with other parenting styles.^5,6,7,9 The combination of high demands and low levels of warmth and support contribute to these negative outcomes.¹ In contrast, an authoritative parenting style is considered the most beneficial because it is linked to good self-esteem, self-reliance, optimism, and academic achievement.¹

Criticism of Authoritarian Parenting

Critics of authoritarian parenting advocate that this approach harmfully affects children. Children of authoritarian parents often struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, poor decision-making skills, and difficulty coping with anger.⁴ Extensive research shows that authoritarian parenting is linked to more negative behaviors, while authoritative parenting is associated with the best outcomes.^1,2

While it is considered damaging overall, there are some pros to authoritarian parenting. Authoritarian parents place rules and expectations on their children, which sets them apart from indulgent and uninvolved parents.¹ Children need rules and expectations to learn to behave appropriately. If authoritarian parents could maintain some strictness to their methods but include more warmth, their children may have better outcomes.

How to Avoid Authoritarian Parenting

Parenting is a role that requires clear communication, patience, consistency, and a willingness to learn and adapt as your children grow and parent/child relationships develop. The goals are to balance love and support with following expectations regarding rules and structure, both in and out of the household.

Here are several tips for avoiding the negative consequences of authoritarian parenting:

• Listen to your children: Communication should be two ways, not just parent driven. Encourage your children to discuss their fears, thoughts, and feelings.
• Set realistic rules and expectations: Set consistent expectations and rules for your children. Make them reasonable and explain why certain actions and behaviors are appropriate or inappropriate.
• Be flexible: Flexibility is important. When children grow and develop rules need to be adapted that are age appropriate and commensurate with their age, behavior, maturity, and personality.
• Take a parenting class: Parent coaching and parenting classes offer education and help build skill sets to meet the challenges that go with parenting. It promotes positive and growth enhancing parenting techniques.
• Learn more about parenting styles: Parenting styles are significant models that children observe as a means of building relationships and relating to others. You can take aspects of different parenting styles and incorporate them to strengthen your parenting playbook and your parent/child relationship.
• Re-evaluate your parenting techniques: It can be counterproductive to claim one parenting style and cling to it. Parenting techniques must be flexible based on the behaviors, personalities, and relationships between parents and children. One technique will not work for everybody.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you were raised by authoritarian parents, you may struggle with mental health challenges.^1,4 Because you did not grow up with a model of healthy behavior, you may also feel unsure of how to parent your own children. If this sounds like you, therapy can help you cope and develop new habits and behaviors.

Individual, group, and family therapy are all options for addressing parenting issues. Parenting groups can be helpful for learning new skills, sharing your experiences, and getting feedback from other parents who may struggle with similar challenges. Family therapy provides a therapist to help you work on changing unhealthy communication and behaviors.

Parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT) is a specific type of therapy intended for families with children between the ages of two and seven. The goals of PCIT include improving the parent-child relationship, decreasing negative behaviors in children, and improving cooperation. Studies have found that PCIT is effective in achieving these outcomes.¹¹

Finding a Therapist

There are several different ways to choose a therapist. You can ask your healthcare provider for a referral, contact your health insurance company, or ask family and friends for recommendations. You can also search a therapist directory, which can help match you with a therapist based on your preferences.

Final Thoughts

Authoritarian parenting is a demanding parenting style that lacks warmth and support. It can have negative effects on both children and families. However, therapy can help parents modify their parenting style and learn tools to respond more effectively to their children. Consider seeing a therapist if you would like help adopting healthier responses to your children’s behavior.