Fear of failure is the feeling of dread that many people experience when approaching a project or a bigger life goal. It’s a sense of insecurity, a trepidation of certain defeat, that interferes with someone’s thoughts, emotions, and actions. When kept in check, fear of failure can be positive, but it can easily grow out of control and become paralyzing.
What Is the Fear of Failure?
The American Psychological Association defines fear of failure as “persistent and irrational anxiety about failing to measure up to the standards and goals set by oneself or others.”1 As such, fear of failure is far more than being afraid to do poorly on a task; instead, it involves the belief that you are not or will not be “good enough,” and will thus disappoint yourself or other people in your life. It is an all-encompassing reaction to the notion that you won’t measure up, and it involves extreme worry and other negative thoughts and emotions, as well as a hesitation or unwillingness to take measures toward a task or goal.2
Although there is a term for fear of failure (i.e., atychiphobia), fear of failure isn’t by itself a diagnosable mental disorder. Instead, it’s a term that refers to the thoughts, feelings, and actions (or lack of action) that can prevent someone from completing tasks or working toward their dreams.
When someone is gripped by fear of failure, they are concerned about the poor outcome of their efforts, but often the real difficulty isn’t the failure itself but the underlying emotions. For many, the thought of failing at an endeavor brings strong, negative emotions such as:2,3,4
- Embarrassment
- Humiliation
- Guilt (feeling bad about the result of something you did)
- Shame (feeling bad about who you are)
- Inadequacy
- Disappointment (in oneself or the belief that they’ll let others down)
- Frustration
- Uncertainty regarding the future and potential losses, including becoming irrelevant or abandoned
These unpleasant feelings associated with the fear of failure exist on a spectrum ranging from mild to severe. Most people have experienced mild anxiety over the idea of failing at something important or when starting something new or challenging, but some experience a fear of failure so intense that it shuts them down and becomes debilitating.5
When mild, anxiety such as the fear of failure can be motivating, providing positive stress and encouraging people to persist and achieve their goals.6 When severe, however, it can interfere in life and stop people in their tracks, rendering them unable or unwilling to take action toward a goal. It’s closely connected with procrastination7 and perfectionism,5,1 other sets of beliefs and actions that can prevent people from moving forward.
Fear of failure can exist on its own or as part of diagnosable mental disorders.5 Intense atychiphobia and the accompanying thoughts and emotions can occur in:5,6,8
- Eating Disorders
- Mood Disorders
- Anxiety disorders (especially performance anxiety, a subtype of social anxiety disorder)
Whether as a stand-alone experience or as part of a psychological disorder, fear of failure involves two general approaches to life. Generally, people whose actions are affected by their thoughts and emotions about failing tend to over strive or self-protect.9 Over strivers deal with their fear by diving in and working hard; however, rather than being motivated by a desire to succeed, they are driven to avoid failure. Self-protectors, on the other hand, are the ones who tend to procrastinate, exert little effort, or avoid tasks altogether.
Fear of failure—either over striving or self-protecting—can interfere in someone’s life. It carries with it many negative consequences.
The Effects & Consequences of Atychiphobia
Fear of failure can be paralyzing. It can cause people to shut down—believing that there’s no point in trying to accomplish something because it will lead only to failure. Consequently, a fear of failure can lead to missed opportunities and problems in daily life.5 The fear of failure can affect someone’s outlook, creating an approach to tasks that involves extreme caution in order to prevent loss instead of a success orientation with actions designed to meet a goal.2
Living with this mindset brings negative consequences that can extend beyond failure to reach a goal. Extreme fear of failure can affect mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life.
This paralyzing set of thoughts, feelings, and actions can lead to:8,9
- Avoidance of tasks, projects, opportunities, and even other people (out of perceived negative judgments and a sense of shame or disappointment)
- Low self-esteem
- Low self-efficacy (i.e.,the belief in your own abilities)
- Decreased resilience (making it difficult to recover from setbacks)
- Learned helplessness (thoughts of powerlessness or lack of control)
- Underachievement
- High anxiety in other areas of life
- Emotional upheaval and instability
- Self-sabotaging or self-handicapping behavior (such as procrastination or purposefully giving something very little effort in order to have an excuse for failure or something to blame other than a lack of ability)
Fear of failure is cruelly ironic. Because someone is afraid of failing to reach a goal, they may never pursue their goals at all and thus prevent themselves from living their best life.
Causes of Atychiphobia
Fear of failure can develop at any time in life. It can even begin in childhood as a result of critical parenting, bullying, or traumatic events.3 Regardless of when in life it begins or what events lead to the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors underlying fear of failure, it’s largely a result of the way stress affects the brain.10,11
External stressors directly impact brain function and activate the systemic fight-flight-or-freeze response. Stress hormones like cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenaline are stimulated and released systemically in many areas of the brain, central nervous system, and the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis. All this activity results in emotional and behavioral changes known as stress-induced neuroplasticity. Stress-induced neuroplasticity has been found in numerous studies to play a role in almost all mental disorders, including anxiety disorders and related responses such as the fear of failure.
If managed unsuccessfully, the stress response can sometimes lead to uncertain and negative thoughts and emotions and a pattern of fear and anger. In the case of atychiphobia, the stress of repeated failure (or thoughts about repeated failure) can lead to the above-mentioned negative effects that become deeply ingrained. Fear of failure can then become a default mindset and approach to life.
Signs of Fear of Failure
Fear of failure involves worry about the negative outcome of a project or the inability to meet a goal. A degree of worry like this is very common. Even the most self-assured people experience bouts of self-doubt and thoughts of potential failure. Having worries and doubts that come and go but don’t interfere in your life isn’t a sign that someone is experiencing fear of failure.
True fear of failure is more all-encompassing and is accompanied by other signs, including:2,4,7,9
- Persistent fatigue or lack of energy
- A sense of hopelessness about the future
- Chronic (versus occasional or limited) worry
- Concerns about what others will think of you if you fail or don’t do well
- Frequent procrastination
- High distractibility, being pulled off task by irrelevant or unimportant things
- Avoiding tasks or people associated with a project or general goal
- Physical symptoms (headaches, digestive troubles, joint or muscle pain) that prevent working toward a goal
When these thoughts, feelings, and behaviors become a persistent pattern, fear of failure might be at work.
5 Tips for Overcoming the Fear of Failure
If you are dealing with the fear of failure, these five tips could help:
1. Identify & Clarify Your Thoughts, Feelings, & Actions
Two studies conducted simultaneously by a team of researchers and reported in 2017 in the Journal of Individual Differences found that when people can identify their specific thoughts and emotions, they are more likely to be motivated by them rather than be paralyzed.6 When study participants were able to clarify the feelings and thoughts underlying their general fear of failure, they were better able to strive for achievement, persist despite difficulties, and report greater satisfaction with their work.
Understanding and pinpointing why you are afraid of failing and how failing might truly affect you helps you face a fear of failure.4,15 This insight is also useful to identify precisely how the fear of failure is impacting your behavior. For example, are you overstriving, working frantically not to achieve success but simply to avoid the consequences you think might happen if you fail, or are you engaging in self-protective behaviors such as procrastination or avoidance to give yourself a reason to explain away failure?9 Once you’ve identified stressful or self-sabotaging behaviors, you can change your actions to make success more likely.
2. Shift Your Perspective
An important part of overcoming fear of failure is developing a new perspective about the idea of failure. Instead of seeing failure as an absolute, life-destroying disaster, develop a new relationship with it.
Shift your thinking so that you begin to see failure as:
- Feedback, as a chance to learn and grow16
- A lesson, because reflecting on past failures to find their benefits can help you be more open to failure as a teacher now15
- A surmountable challenge that provides an opportunity to move forward rather than a road block stopping you in your path15
- A fleeting or impermanent situation rather than a permanent end to your path
On a related note, in Buddhism, this concept of impermanence frees people from suffering by leading to the understanding that everything changes—including failure and its consequences.17
While you are developing a new perspective about failure and its role in your life, also shift your thoughts about yourself. Boosting your belief in yourself and your abilities is a key part of overcoming fear of failure.9 Rather than ruminating about your perceived shortcomings, focus instead on your inherent strengths and talents you bring to your work or school.7 Identify past successes and things that have gone well.
What did you do then that you could bring to your current project or goal? Fear of failure can make you believe that you are incapable of succeeding, but this is a skewed perspective of your abilities. Identify what you do well, and apply it with greater confidence to your tasks at hand. Then, you’ll position yourself to feel your fear and know you can take positive action anyway.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Fail
While at first giving yourself permission to fail may feel terrifying, giving yourself permission to fail can be liberating.3 Go back to the first tip and identify your thoughts and feelings about failure. Examine them closely, and ask yourself what would be the worst possible outcome of failure. Would you survive? Quite likely, you’ll discover that, while perhaps unpleasant, you would survive your imagined worst-case-scenario and continue to move forward.
Knowing this, emotions such as shame, guilt, or fear of disappointing others won’t loom so large and will no longer feel like punishments for failure. When you allow yourself to fail, you free yourself from the limiting behaviors that result from setbacks or failures.16
Giving yourself permission to fail can be stressful and anxiety-provoking. To help in the process, be kind to yourself. Catch yourself using harsh labels and judgments against yourself. Also, notice your anxious, fearful thoughts and use relaxation techniques such as stretching, slow, deep breathing, and meditation to reduce stress and anxiety as you learn to give yourself permission to fail and keep going forward.
4. Take Control
Sometimes, dread of failing looms large when tasks or goals are overwhelming. Breaking down daunting projects into manageable chunks can help you feel more in-control.16
It can also help to reflect on aspects of success that are within your control so you can make effective choices and actions to set yourself up for achievement.9 Reflect on your personal style (are you an overstriver or a self-protector?). List your typical work habits and approaches to tasks. Then, be honest with yourself in evaluating what works well for you and what gets in your way? Choose to do more of what works and replace what doesn’t work for you with different actions. This reflection and decision-making process will help you feel in control of your tasks and yourself, something that can be motivating and empowering.
5. Be Mindful, & Distance Yourself From Your Fears
The focus of fear of failure is on imagined consequences. The anxiety is about what might happen in the future, and it is often fueled by experiences of the past. It’s difficult to concentrate on what you are doing right now, in your present moment, when your mind is whirring with ruminations about what is already over or what might or might not happen in the future. Focusing on the task at hand in any given moment helps you keep abreast of your current actions rather than ruminating over thoughts and feelings about imagined consequences and perceived shortcomings.9
This approach to projects, goals, and life itself is called mindfulness. To be more mindful and less caught up in fear of failure use these principles from acceptance and commitment therapy:18
- Notice your negative thoughts and worries.
- Thoughts aren’t always true and trustworthy. Distance yourself from them by reminding yourself, “I’m having the thought that I’m going to fail and let everyone down.”
- Immediately redirect your concentration by using your senses to focus on something in your present moment. Pay attention to something you see, hear, feel, smell, or even taste if that’s appropriate in the moment.
- Take several slow, deep breaths to calm your brain and body. Doing this switches off your sympathetic nervous system that’s responsible for the fight-or-flight reaction and activates your parasympathetic nervous system, or “rest-and-digest mode,” which allows you to feel calm and focused.19
- Turn your effort and attention to a small, workable component of your task.
Understanding what underlies your fear of failure, facing it, and using strategies to overcome it can help you change from a failure to a success mindset. While you still may have occasional concerns about failing, fear of failure will no longer consume and paralyze you. Instead, you can use it to motivate you and to persist despite challenges.
When to Get Professional Help for Atychiphobia
If fear of failure begins to interfere in your daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. Such interference means that the fear of failure is getting in the way of your ability to live your life the way you want to live it. You may find it difficult to start or complete tasks at work or home. It also could mean that fear of failure is causing you to avoid doing things you want or need to do, or is preventing you from pursuing your passions or dreams. Fear of failure can also interfere in relationships, making it hard to be yourself around others or causing you to believe that you’re not good enough. When you notice that this anxiety is disrupting your life, reaching out for help could be beneficial.12
Other indications that professional help may be a good idea include:13
- You are also experiencing other mental health challenges like depression, other forms of anxiety, or an eating disorder
- You are using alcohol, marijuana, or other substances to cope with your fear of failure
- Fear of failure is worsening or you feel that you can no longer manage it the way you have in the past
Even if fear of failure seems severe, help is available. While extreme fear of failure is difficult to overcome alone, working with a professional can help you reclaim your life and your goals.
Who Should I Consult for Help in Overcoming Fear of Failure?
Visiting with your physician or mental health professional can help you learn more about your own fear of failure and develop positive ways to overcome it so that it no longer interferes in your life. Sometimes, if anxiety is high or you are also experiencing a mood disorder like depression, your physician may suggest medication to help with your brain and body’s neurochemical activity.8
Medication alone, however, doesn’t treat fear of failure. Working with a therapist who specializes in cognitive or behavior approaches can be helpful in exploring your fear of failure, coping with related stress, and identifying and letting go of negative beliefs and emotions underlying fear of failure.8
Mindfulness-based interventions have also been shown to help people deal with and overcome fear of failure.14 Researchers publishing in the Journal of Qualitative Studies in Health and Well-being followed 29 university students experiencing anxiety about their academic performance on exams and fear of failure. The students participated in a structured 8-week, mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program. Students learned about and participated in mindfulness meditation, other mindfulness exercises, Hatha yoga, and stress-management exercises.
Researchers found that at the end of the mindfulness-based program, students experienced:
- Decreased academic anxiety
- Increased self-confidence and self-efficacy
- Improved sense of inner calm
- Reduced fear
- New curiosity to replace the fear
- Greater awareness of their fear and reaction to it
- Increased acceptance of the present moment (rather than struggling against thoughts and emotions about failure)
Whether you prefer individual sessions with a therapist or group settings such as MBSR (or a similar program known as mindfulness-based cognitive therapy), working with a professional can go a long way toward freeing you from fear of failure.
How to Find a Therapist
Finding a mental health therapist can seem intimidating at first, but it doesn’t have to be daunting. You can ask your primary-care physician for recommendations, as they often refer people to therapists for help with a range of challenges. Asking trusted friends or family members could also give you some recommendations. Local community centers, libraries, and non-profit mental health organizations often have bulletin boards or displays of pamphlets highlighting community resources, including mental health resources such as individual therapists and group programs. You can also use online therapy directories to help you locate professionals in your area.
Examples of Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is a personal experience that looks different for each person who struggles with it. The following examples highlight what it’s like for Jocelyn, David, and Sofia (names have been changed for privacy).
Jocelyn: A Single Mother of Three
On her own, with little outside support, Jocelyn was constantly worried that she would fail her three young children. She worked two jobs, but even so she could barely afford daycare, pay the rent and put food on the table, and she couldn’t give her kids the latest toys or enroll them in expensive activities. She felt so guilty for working such long hours and still being unable to afford the extras for her kids that when she got home late at night, she wouldn’t even wake them up because she didn’t want to see their disappointed faces. She was failing as a mother in every way, and she was crushed. As exhausted as she was, she couldn’t sleep but instead spend each night tossing and turning with worry about her children’s futures.
She spent several nights ruminating about the recent opportunity she didn’t take. Maybe she should have applied for that promotion at her first job. That would have meant more money, and she might have been able to quit her second job and spend more time with her kids. There’s no way she would have gotten the better position, though, because she wasn’t talented enough. Even if she had landed it, she probably would have been promptly fired for not being able to handle it. Then she would have been completely unemployed, and she and her kids would have been without a home. Jocelyn felt helpless, dejected, and anxious, but she was glad that she had just stuck with the jobs she had rather than trying for something new. She was clearly doomed to be a failure.
Jocelyn loved her children and knew they deserved more. Her main job offered an employee assistance program, which included a few free sessions with a therapist to sort out difficulties. Maybe a therapist would help her break out of her fear of failing her children and even help her know what to do to improve her situation. She was unsure whether she could be helped, but she believed her children deserved for her to at least try.
Taking the first step to meet with a therapist was extremely difficult for Jocelyn because she was afraid that she might fail at therapy and be even worse off than before, but looking at a picture of her children gave her the courage to make the first phone call. While for Jocelyn therapy hasn’t been a quick fix, the therapist has been helping her build her self-confidence and reliance. Jocelyn has scheduled a meeting with her boss to talk about new opportunities with better pay, and she’s looking forward to making enough money to be able to quit her second job. She is still slightly afraid of failing her children, but her anxiety is under control and she’s using it to motivate herself to have the courage to meet with her boss.
David: A High-Achieving College Student
David was ambitious even as a child. He knew that one day he would join his grandfather’s law firm, but that would only be the beginning of his illustrious law career. His sights were set on becoming a judge in a high court, quite possibly the Supreme Court. He was proud of himself for earning scholarships to college, and when his grandfather offered to pay for law school after college, David accepted with the promise that he’d repay him when he joined the firm.
In college, surrounded by young men and women with similar intelligence and goals, David’s confidence in himself began to waver. Competition was intense, and he began to be gripped by the fear that he would fail. Sure, he was smart and capable enough to choose a different profession if law didn’t work out, but he didn’t want a different profession. His grandfather didn’t want a different profession for David, either. The scholarships were specifically for these studies, and if he didn’t succeed, he would lose them. He would also lose his grandfather’s funding, but worse than that, he would lose his grandfather’s respect. He couldn’t disappoint him. He couldn’t fail.
The more David thought about this, the more intense his fear of failure grew. Because failing simply wasn’t an option, he threw himself into his studies. He had no time to form friendships, attend parties, or simply hang out and relax. His time was spent attending class, studying, or, a few hours here and there, sleeping.
This over striving eventually began to take a toll on David. He constantly had throbbing headaches and heartburn. Not wanting his health to interfere in his progress, he ignored it and pushed himself harder and harder. He didn’t have time to see a physician. One day before a grueling exam, however, intense chest pains and shortness of breath forced him to go to the campus health center. To his relief, he learned that he was not having a heart attack. To his dismay, he learned that he had had a panic attack. He was referred to the campus counseling center.
David was at a loss for what to do. He feared that time spent with a counselor was time not spent working toward his goals. Yet clearly, things weren’t going well. Afraid that he would fail either way, he decided to see one of the counselors to see whether they could help him overcome this crushing fear of failure. The counselor helped him figure out a way to work some sessions into his tight schedule without missing class or ignoring assignments.
Relieved that counseling wouldn’t cause him to fall behind, David worked with the counselor once a week for six weeks. He became aware of his negative thoughts and feelings and learned how to replace them with more positive and productive ones. He discovered that he could let go of his anxiety and fear of failure while still taking his goals seriously. To David’s relief, he was able to pursue his dream of joining his grandfather’s law firm and eventually becoming a judge in a more focused, less fearful way.
Sofia: A Newly Married Woman
Until she met Joaquin, Sofia had little interest in relationships. She was from a big family, and she had seen how hard her parents worked to give themselves and their six children a good life. She had also observed how stressful it seemed to be. No one in her family had any time for themselves, and everything was done in the interest of each other. As she grew up, Sofia dreamed of having her own life, her own space, and the freedom to pursue her own interests. As an adult, she enjoyed her independent, self-sufficient lifestyle, so when she met Joaquin, she didn’t intend to develop a serious relationship. It did become serious very quickly, though, and they married after only a few months of dating.
Now, Sofia is surprised at how much she loves being in a close relationship. However, she has suddenly found herself plagued by intense anxiety and can’t shake thoughts that she is going to fail at her marriage. She feels unprepared and thus unfit for having an intimate relationship. She always wanted to take care of only herself, so she feels that she didn’t observe or learn about how to be a loving partner. She finds herself unable to relax with Joaquin and has started to constantly check with him to see whether he approves of her. She doesn’t like doing this, and it seems that Joaquin is as annoyed with her as she is with herself. This makes her worry more, and she begins to mentally prepare for the divorce she is sure will happen sooner rather than later.
One weekend, Sofia and Joaquin visited her parents and some of her siblings. While there, her mother pulled her aside and observed that she seemed distracted, irritable, and upset. Sofia broke down and admitted that she had been feeling like an emotional wreck because she was failing as a wife. She told her mother how much she loved Joaquin but simply felt unfit to be in a marriage and was afraid that she would fail. Her mother comforted her and assured her that her feelings were normal. She shared her own stories of marriage and relationships, and Sofia’s sisters joined the conversation.
Reconnecting with her family and talking about life and relationships was reassuring. At the end of the weekend, Sofia felt slightly more hopeful but feared that now that she and Joaquin were returning to their home, she would be without support and wouldn’t know what to do. Her fear of failure had returned. She decided to make plans to connect regularly with her mother and sisters for support and to learn from their experiences with relationships, and she promised to stop planning for divorce and instead focus on her current relationship with her husband. With the support of the women in her family, Sofia gradually gained confidence and began to believe in her own ability to participate in her marriage and nurture the love she had for her husband.
Resources for People Dealing With Fear of Failure
Learn more about overcoming fear of failure from these reputable sources:
