Self-Care for Kids: Types, Challenges & How to Begin

What Is Self-Care for Kids?

Similar to adults, self-care for children is about taking some time to engage in practices that allow them to feel good about themselves, especially when they’re stressed. Self-care can fall into different categories — physical, emotional, social, and spiritual. For kids, this can include everyday activities done purposely or implementing small celebrations, like impromptu ice cream, into their normal routine.

As parents and caregivers, modeling self-care behaviors and giving a child lots of opportunities to practice the behaviors set them up for future success. We may not realize this, but kids’ self-care also provides a means of achieving goals that parents have for their little ones: to be healthier, learn emotional regulation, build resilience, and maintain positive relationships with those around them.

Why Self-Care for Kids Is Important

Self-care is important for children because there are a lot of things that can trigger stress, such as problems with friends, academic pressures, and family volatility. Moreover, kids tend to absorb the emotional states of adults. Instilling self-care habits early in life equips them with the tools and insights that will benefit them holistically.

Self-care can help kids cope with: 

• Anxiety: Anxiety, which affects 1 in 8 children, can impact their lives socially, emotionally, and academically.⁴ Self-care activities lower a child’s stress, which in turn helps them feel in control and less anxious.
• Depression: For a child with depression, exercising and eating nutrient-dense meals, which are simple forms of self-care, help ease symptoms by triggering the release of dopamine — a neurotransmitter that improves mood.^{5, 6}
• Low self-esteem: When kids make time for self-care, it sends them the message that they matter. Meditation, for instance, teaches young people to be compassionate towards themselves and let go of judgment.
• Academic pressure: A student who feels pressured to do well in school can forget to look after themselves by staying up late studying. Yet, research finds that getting quality sleep can lead to lower stress and better performance, allowing them to cope with school anxiety or gifted kid burnout.⁷
• Bullying: Self-care can improve a child’s resilience, social skills, and assertiveness — all of which decrease their likelihood of being targeted by in-person and cyberbullies.
• Traumatic events: Accidents, natural disasters, emotional neglect, and other negative experiences can lead a child to feel powerless and helpless. Self-care serves as a tool that combats these feelings.
• Life changes and transitions: Times of change, such as moving to a new home or school and the birth of a sibling, can bring about heightened emotions. Research shows that self-care habits help a person better handle life’s stressors.⁸
• Loss or grief: A child who has lost a loved one (a friend, pet, or parent) may lose appetite and lack interest in activities they used to enjoy. Self-care practices like taking a walk in nature or painting may provide comfort from their grief.

Tailoring Self-Care for Different Age Groups

Self-care for kids can sometimes look different depending on the child’s current capabilities. For example, while an 8-year-old kid can write in their journal to express their feelings and exercise, these activities aren’t developmentally appropriate for a 3-year-old child. Moreover, some self-care practices for younger kids will require supervision from parents and caregivers.

Preschoolers (Ages 3-5)

Choose self-care practices that give preschoolers opportunities to engage in simple everyday tasks. Examples of these helpful habits that increase independence include brushing their teeth, picking up their toys, washing their hands, and potty training (which most parents look forward to).

These tasks may appear to be simple for adults, but remember to be patient and offer assistance as needed — e.g., helping them climb up the stool to wash their hands. Also, keep in mind that failing on their first attempt at a self-care task is okay. Focus (add “on”) their effort instead of the result.

Early Elementary (Ages 6-8)

Kids in their early elementary or middle childhood years are likely to show more independence. It’s also common for them to feel the need to be accepted by others and make friends, which helps with their social skills.

During moments of social and emotional stress, self-care for elementary kids can include labeling their emotions, taking deep belly breaths, joining a sports team, and brainstorming problem-solving skills when they disagree with another peer.

Late Elementary (Ages 9-11)

In late elementary, children want to keep up with schoolwork and other kids their age, and you’ll also notice them exploring and developing their unique strengths! In this regard, parents should encourage their kids to cultivate their passion — whether that’s related to music, art, drama, or sports.

Carve out some time for your child to do what they like. For example, if they’re into art, you can give them drawing prompts, coloring books, painting materials, or recyclable materials to create a collage. These art activities serve as “therapy,” allowing them to calm down.

Preteens (Ages 12-14)

Good hygiene practices evolve as kids grow older. Whereas younger kids master the basics, such as handwashing and bathing regularly, pre-teens have to use a deodorant and change pads each month to accommodate the needs of their changing bodies.

In addition to hygiene, pre-teens can also learn good behavior and practice becoming responsible teenagers through self-care. This can involve actions like creating a routine that incorporates healthy habits and relaxation, prioritizing things based on their importance, and saying no to peer pressure.

Types of Self-Care Activities for Kids

Besides adopting types of self-care to a child’s developmental stage, parents and caregivers can choose activities under various categories — physical, emotional, social, creative, spiritual, and professionally supported. Take a holistic approach by making sure they learn self-care skills in each category.

Here are some different types of self-care activities for children:

1. Physical Self-Care

As the name suggests, physical self-care focuses on one’s nutritional, movement, hydration, and recovery needs. Meeting this self-care category not only supports a child’s optimal growth but also helps them avoid diseases. Younger kids will need supervision, whereas older kids can be given options as long as these options are safe.

Here are a few examples of physical self-care for kids:

• Nature scavenger hunt: Scavenger hunts aren’t just fun, but they’re also opportunities to exercise as they walk, run, and collect items (e.g. rocks, leaves, and sticks). Being in natural settings can generate feelings of calm. Support your child by giving them tools to complete the activity, such as a checklist and bucket!
• Warm baths: A warm bath has been found to lower stress, fatigue, and body pain.⁹ After a long day at school, encourage your child to take a warm bath to feel relaxed.
• Drinking water: Kids are more physically active, but they may not always realize that they’re thirsty. A study has shown that dehydration disrupts cognition and mood.¹⁰ Have them bring a bottle of water to school and teach them the benefits of choosing water instead of sugary drinks to stay hydrated.
• Healthy meals and snacks: Including protein, complex carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, and minerals in your child’s meals supports their brain function. Eating healthy snacks also helps meet their nutritional needs while boosting their energy, concentration, and learning in school.² When they get the nutrients their body needs, they have fewer mood swings and can focus better.¹¹
• Power naps: In addition to quality nighttime sleep, let your child take a 15 to 20-minute “power nap” in the early afternoon. Regular napping is associated with increased happiness, self-control, and perseverance.¹²

2. Emotional Self-Care

Emotional self-care refers to any activity that involves managing your emotions. A child who practices this type of self-care when they feel disappointed chooses to respond healthily instead of lashing out. Younger kids can cope by communicating their feelings to a trusted adult, who can help them calm down, whereas older kids can engage in self-reflection and stress management techniques.

Here are a few examples of emotional self-care for kids:

• Feelings journal: A journal serves as a “safe space” where a child writes down strong feelings, such as anger, fear, and even excitement. Kids who do journaling experience a sense of release or catharsis so that strong feelings don’t build up. Give your child a notebook to write in or consider journal apps with prompts and other beneficial features.
• Labeling emotions: Using emotions flashcards (with emojis and names of corresponding emotions) allows the child to realize that their emotions matter. Emotions that are identified can be tamed, especially negative ones.
• Deep breathing: Deep breathing, or mindful breathing, slows down your heart rate, which increases relaxation. A simple and fun way to teach deep breathing to kids is to let them imagine blowing bubbles or tracing the sides of a star shape while breathing in and out.
• Mental health and well-being apps: Mental health apps provide the advantage of being able to get emotional support whenever and wherever a child needs it. Many apps incorporate calming games and techniques that help a child feel in control of their emotions.
• Positive self-talk: Talking to yourself in a positive way won’t just make you feel motivated — it also encourages problem-solving. Teach your kid some positive affirmations, such as “I can handle challenges with courage” and “I am going to make today count!”

3. Social Self-Care

Social self-care is all about making and maintaining meaningful connections with other people. These include family members, friends in school and within the community, and new people you meet. A child who practices social self-care experiences many benefits, from feeling a sense of belongingness to learning conflict resolution skills.

Younger kids can be taught simple things like taking turns and sharing, whereas older kids learn more complex things like navigating peer pressure, which can happen a lot in friendships.

Here are a few examples of social self-care for kids:

• Friendship picnic: Going on a picnic with their friends at a park or garden can create lasting memories. It’s a chance to practice social skills, such as sharing, listening, and cooperating. Help them choose foods that are simple yet tasty and healthful, like cheese, berries, and nuts!
• School clubs: A book club, chess club, robotics club, or debate club allows kids to pursue their interests with like-minded individuals. In clubs, they can discuss ideas with their peers and also learn new information. As a form of self-care, spending time in school clubs provides a sense of achievement.
• Volunteering or community service: Help your child value the act of helping others through volunteering — whether that’s cooking a meal for a neighbor (with your guidance) or doing a beach cleanup. Kids who do good for others feel happier and become empathetic.
• Puppet shows: A puppet show is a great activity to try in classrooms where conflict resolution is being discussed. Students can group themselves and use puppets to act out conflicts — for example, a friend telling others something that’s supposed to be kept a secret. Besides conflict resolution, puppet shows allow for emotional expression.

4. Creative Self-Care

Creative self-care involves activities that tap into a person’s artistic side. Creative activities at home or in school bring a sense of accomplishment in a child as they discover what they’re capable of. Research shows that these activities increase self-confidence and self-esteem and promote physical activity.¹³

Here are a few examples of creative self-care for kids:

• Storytelling and writing: When a child writes about their experiences and their understanding of these events, they develop self-awareness. Get your child’s creative juices flowing by giving them a writing prompt. You could ask them to tell a story about an astronaut or being stranded in the desert.
• Nature crafts: Let your child appreciate the natural world they live in by making a collage, crown, or another object made from leaves, twigs, and pebbles! Nature crafts are opportunities to immerse themselves in the present moment as they feel different textures and see different colors.
• Cooking: From learning to combine different ingredients to experimenting with cuisines, kids can use cooking as a creative outlet. What’s more, cooking is a chance to discuss the importance of nutrition and measurements!
• Musical instrument: A study found that music playing (e.g. playing the violin or piano) reduces a child’s feeling of anxiety and helps control their emotions.¹⁴ If your child shows interest in music, have a discussion about which instrument they would like to learn and enroll them in music lessons.

5. Spiritual Self-Care

Spiritual self-care, as the term implies, nurtures a person’s spirit. Although “spirituality” and “religion” are used interchangeably, they’re different. Through practices like gratitude and meditation, spiritual self-care allows children to find meaning and purpose in their lives.

Here are a few examples of spiritual self-care for kids:

• Gratitude journal: Writing in a gratitude journal daily helps children appreciate what they have and their accomplishments, no matter how small. Finding things to be grateful for sparks feelings of happiness, contentment, and peace.
• Mindfulness meditation: Mindfulness meditation improves a child’s self-compassion and social behaviors.³ Kids who are dealing with overwhelming thoughts can ground themselves in the present moment, which reduces negative emotions with the use of mindfulness. You can teach your child a simple mindfulness technique geared towards kids where they sit comfortably in a quiet area, close their eyes, and imagine a calm and beautiful place.
• Acts of kindness: Small random acts like complimenting a classmate, sharing a snack, and offering to help a teacher can increase empathy. As a form of self-care, being kind to others brings a sense of fulfillment.
• Inspirational stories: These stories inspire children with valuable lessons about not giving up, being brave, and more. Characters in stories serve as positive role models that inspire kids to become better individuals.

6. Professionally Supported Self-Care

Professionally supported self-care means getting help from a qualified professional. This can be your child’s teacher or counselor at school or someone with special training. These individuals have the knowledge and resources to handle children with self-care challenges.

Here are a few examples of professional self-care for kids:

• School counselor: Kids usually think of approaching their teacher whenever they need help, but they can also rely on a school counselor. School counselors can assist kids with a variety of self-care tasks, such as giving tips on time management, listening to their personal concerns, and helping them navigate peer pressure.
• Special education teacher: If your child has a disability that affects their learning experiences, they need tailored instruction from a special education teacher. While your child is in school, they’ll be able to learn skills that can get them through the day (otherwise known as “activities of daily living” or ADLs).
• Occupational therapist: Kids get to learn everyday life skills with an occupational therapist. For example, the occupational therapist helps your child improve both fine motor and gross motor skills required for self-care tasks, such as getting dressed and grooming.
• Nutritionist: When it comes to physical self-care, a nutritionist can help your child learn how to nourish their bodies with foods they like. Moreover, they help kids with illnesses avoid complications, heal, and thrive.
• Social worker: Social workers can help with a child’s health and well-being in many ways. A pre-teen, for instance, who’s experiencing relationship problems can seek counseling from a social worker and receive guidance on healthy coping skills for kids.

Self-Care Practices When in School

Having too many assignments to complete, participating in class, not being able to keep up with friends, and bullying are just some of the things that contribute to a child’s stress. Kids deserve to practice self-care even during school hours — during breaks between their classes, right before a class starts, and after finishing a test — to reduce tension and help boost their focus.

Here are some self-care ideas for kids to practice when in school:

• Stretching: While seated in class, they can inhale deeply while raising their arms as if trying to touch the sky. As they bring their arms down, they exhale.
• Listening to music: This can be classical music, piano tracks, acoustic guitar, and relaxing covers from artists. Let your child choose calm music that suits their preferences, and tell them to use headphones to avoid disturbing others.
• Emotional check-in: Teachers can assess their students’ well-being by asking questions like how are you feeling today? Are there challenges you need help with? Alternatively, kids can ask themselves these questions and then ask for help from a trusted adult.
• Balancing homework and extracurriculars: Extracurricular activities (like swimming and theater) are great for a child’s mental health, but if activities become overwhelming, tell them that it’s okay to decline.
• Strong body language: Body language can help increase a child’s confidence. Good body language includes sitting up straight, making eye contact, and speaking clearly when expressing ideas.
• Ask for help: Asking for help can take on many forms, such as raising their hand in class if they have a question, joining a study group, asking a classmate for clarification, or visiting their school counselor.
• Mindful eating: To practice mindful eating, a child can slow down, notice the colors, aroma, taste, and textures of their snack or lunch, and chew their food thoroughly. Besides helping with digestion, mindful eating encourages gratitude.

How to Introduce Self-Care to a Child

How you present the topic of self-care can affect how they accept it. Since kids love stories, why not tell them a story about a skill you’d like to introduce? There are also plenty of children’s books on specific self-care topics, such as gratitude, saying no, and physical activity.

Playing a game and setting fun challenges help your child enjoy a self-care skill after learning it. Moreover, try to provide a calm atmosphere for self-care activities that require more focus, like journaling and playing an instrument.

How to Help a Child Build Their Self-Care Routine

To set your child up for future success through self-care, let them begin with smaller tasks. Even things like brushing their teeth and taking a few deep breaths in the middle of a hectic day, when done intentionally and consistently, can have enormous positive effects on their health and happiness.

Since life has ups and downs, it’s also important to let your child know that their self-care practices may sometimes vary depending on the situation they’re facing and how they’re feeling in the moment. That being said, being adaptable and open-minded also matters when it comes to kids’ self-care.

Here’s a step-by-step guide for how to help a child build their self-care routine:

• Identify interests and preferences: What is your child’s personality? And based on that personality, what things do they enjoy doing? An introverted child will most likely appreciate a quiet activity (such as painting or drawing) to recharge, whereas an extroverted child will be more open to picnics and team sports.
• Set goals: Ask your child what they want to achieve by performing a specific self-care activity — for example, playing sports to build stronger bones and muscles. Reminding them of their “reason” for doing self-care helps them stay motivated.
• Use visual aids: Younger children who are learning basic self-care skills for the first time may benefit from visual tools, such as a chart or a checklist with relevant pictures of the skills. These visuals effectively remind them of what they need to do and the steps to perform it.
• Model the self-care behavior: Don’t just teach your child daily self-care habits — show them you’re also looking after your well-being. Remember that kids carefully watch what adults do, so make sure you’re modeling positive behaviors.
• Offer tools that they need: Provide support by giving them the tools necessary to complete a self-care task. For example, emotional self-care usually involves tools like a journal, soothing music, and a mindfulness app.
• Encourage reflection: To make self-care worthwhile, encourage your child to reflect on the skill. Questions like “How did you feel after doing the self-care activity?” and “What was the best or your least favorite part of the activity?” help them know if it worked — and if it did, they can keep repeating it.
• Teach them to be flexible: Change is a natural part of life, and circumstances can disrupt your child’s routine. While self-care is a must, they should also learn that self-care can look different at any given moment. For example, if they’re unable to go outside for a walk due to the weather, they can choose another form of exercise that offers the same benefits.

How to Know If a Child’s Self-Care Routine is Working

Observe positive changes in your child’s mood, energy levels, school performance, and how they handle stressful situations. If they’re better physically, emotionally, and mentally — it means that their routine is helping them. You can also ask their opinions regarding their self-care so you’ll find out if they’re consistent with your observations.

Challenges in Practicing Self-Care for Kids

There are different reasons why a child may have difficulty with self-care. Younger kids, for instance, need more assistance from adults with brushing their teeth, using the toilet, and opening food packaging. Besides a child’s age, academic commitments and extracurricular activities that take up time can make self-care an afterthought.

For children with learning disabilities, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and dyslexia, parents and caregivers may need to modify their approach when teaching self-care. It’s important to remain patient and make the learning experience fun!

Balancing Self-Care & Responsibilities

As parents and caregivers, we have a responsibility to help children avoid burnout due to having many things to do. Even with a busy schedule, the good news is that your child can fit in self-care throughout the day. Share helpful strategies like breaking big tasks into small steps, thinking about positive affirmations while completing a task, and limiting distractions (such as phone use) while studying.

What to Do If Your Child Doesn’t Want to Practice Self-Care

There are different reasons why a child may refuse a self-care practice. Maybe they don’t understand how it helps them or how to perform it, they’re struggling with something else, or the activity doesn’t resonate with them. You can start by exploring their feelings (and not judging them) and offer choices they might like.

When they show interest or make an effort to try, be sure to provide praise. This positive reinforcement motivates them to repeat the self-care behavior.

When to Seek Professional Support

Consider seeing their pediatrician if your child is unusually withdrawn and having difficulty understanding instructions, responding appropriately to others, and remembering things. These could be signs of a developmental delay (for kids five years old or younger) or an underlying medical condition that’s making self-care more challenging or impossible.

A child who is struggling with a mental health issue can lose interest in activities they used to enjoy, including self-care. If you suspect this, start looking for available services using an online therapist directory. When finding a therapist for your child, consider their specialty, approach, and experience.